Version 2, expanded on some points that my friend SMakarov pointed out. Hopefully, it'll increase the emotional content.

Btw - Trigger warning. Just to be safe.

Inspired by Skillet - Never Surrender. I recommend listening to this while reading. Really sets the tone.

Shade sat at the end of his bed, the tattered room dark as the daylight faded. The dream, like many before him, had woken him from a fitful sleep, filled with the faces of his friends, his brothers in arms. He'd seem them in his dreams, not all at once, but one by one, reliving memories that he had of them. A week ago, it was Meat and Royce, and helping them sneak some women into the base. Three nights ago, it was Ghost, and the hellish training he was put through after his arrival. Now, it was Roach and Rook, and the night they went out for drinks after a hard day at the base. He did not know who would be next. Sometimes, he'd have the same dream with the same people night after night, but the end would be different. Outcomes would change. He pained to see them again, to actually talk to them and have them around. But he couldn't.

There were only a handful of them left. Soap, Price, Nikolai, and Shade. Meat and Royce were killed in Rio, chasing Rojas's assistant. Reaper and Bishop were killed while evacuating. Doc and Devil were downed on the oil rig. Rhino, Mice, Hex and Deca were killed in Africa while tracking one of Makarov's shipments. Keeper was discharged after being found mentally instable. Chemo, Ozone, Archer, Toad, Scarecrow, Ghost and Roach were killed by Shepard and his men at one of Makarov's safehouses. Rook was killed trying to get Soap and Price to safety at the aircraft graveyard.

The rest of the 141 had been captured by various countries after being disavowed. They were being treated as war criminals, as betrayers, as terrorists, by the very people they were protecting. They were on their own. Shade looked at his rifle, his trusting F88SA2 Austeyr. It was beyond recognition as a standard rifle however. During his career, the rifle had been given various modifications by Shade and the other men in the force. Archer and Toad had given him an EOTech 552 sight with magnifier, Scarecrow had given him an AN/PEQ-15 IR laser module. Ghost had given him a titanium suppressor, Meat had traded the barrel for a much shorter one. Roach and Rook had taken the plastic frame and given it a DPCU/Multicam blend paint job, taking the pattern of the Aussie DPCU but with the colours of Multicam. The rifle sat in the corner, with his chest rig, a Crye AVS.

Rhino and Hex had recommended the plate carrier to him after arriving to the TF with a bulky TBAS, standard ADF issue. The vest followed the same fate as his F88, the team making small touches and fixes to the vest. Along the back, the PALS loops were filled with tally marks, signifying the kills that Shade had made. A few morale patches were fitted on the front, including the HMFIC patch given to him by Ghost when he was assigned as a team leader for a mission in Afghanistan. He didn't realise what it stood for until after the mission, when he found it meant: "Head Motherfucker In Charge."

His mother would not have approved of that, had she seen that. He wondered what his parents were doing at this second. Jessica and James were probably at work, or university, or home. He wondered what they would would be told if news reached home. Ever since they were disavowed, his dreams placed him in the eyes of their neighbour, watching on as an Army Captain, and Federal Police officer, informed his parents of what had happened, what their son had done and had become. Watching as his mother almost collapse as the shock of the news hit her. Watching his father become defiant and not want to believe what he was hearing.

Shade looked down to his holster, strapped to his leg, and pulled out his sidearm. A Glock, bought for him by Rook after a successful mission where Shade's Browning Hi-Power had jammed and broken in a fire fight. The frame was a dark olive green, the slide midnight black. It had a small inscription on the side of the slide, engraved by Roach. "Stay Away from the Shade. You might get hurt."

Typical Roach, always the kind to come out with witty lines and remarks. The trio of them, Rook, Roach and Shade, were almost as bad as Meat and Royce when it came to mischief. The only difference was that they had deniability, and were able to cover their tracks. The others had nothing to hold against them. Not even the boss, Soap, could touch them. It was no wonder that they were routinely placed on missions where covert insertion and recon were involved.

Shade pulled back the slide, chambering a round. He turned it around, and faced the barrel towards him. He wished he could have saved them all, or been with them all as they died. Nothing could bring them all back. He closed his eyes, thinking of his friends and family. Mum, Dad, Jess, James, I'm sorry for the hurt that I've created. Guys, Roach, wait up for me. I'll be there in a second. Taking a breath, he slowly squeezed the trigger. But he froze. He thought he could do this, but he couldn't. He slowly opened his eyes, removing his thumb from the trigger. Something caught his eye. There was a second inscription, two words on the front of the slide, running around the edge of the barrel. He unloaded the magazine and removed the chambered round before inspecting it further.

That sly bastard. Either Roach was being corny and left a one-liner for the enemy, or had foreseen what was going to happen and left a message for Shade. Regardless, it brought Shade to tears. Don't worry mates. I won't.

"Never Surrender."

If you were interested, on my profile is a link to what Shade's F88 looks like.

I'll put more Shade-related stuff up on that page when it's relevant. Review as always.