Shades of Grey

A Torchwood Fic

By: Tenshi-Chan

Part 9 - Nightmare's Aftermath

The world was burning. That's all he knew. There was fire and death all around. Everywhere he turned, all he could see were the dead bodies of his co-workers. This was wrong. He hadn't even been here the first time around. Or was this the first time? Everything was so jumbled. He looked around for something to anchor him.

There ... with the raging inferno as a pulsating backdrop. A familiar figure that turned to him and smiled beautifically as it changed into a nightmarish creature before the flames obscured his view. Then those same flames leapt toward him and enveloped him in their tortuous embrace.

"LISA!" Ianto sat up gasping for air and a pair of arms was there to catch him. Where was he? What had happened? Had he been dreaming, or was he in a dream now? He struggled a little, frightened that he'd been locked away or that he would be locked away. He didn't understand.

"Shhh. Easy, Ianto. I've got you. You're safe now."

He knew that voice and he knew the arms that held him. He clutched at the solid body that was Jack Harkness like a man clutching at a rope while being dangled from a precipitous height. He was barely aware of Jack trying to calm him. He didn't want empty words. "Lisa ...?" He looked around in horror as the memory of that horrible creature binding him to the conversion unit swam before his eyes. He couldn't remember if it had been some nameless face or if it had actually been Lisa.

Jack's voice was calm. "She's in London, Ianto. Remember? You were talking to her just a few hours ago."

That was impossible. "No! No! She killed you and she killed me and then Myfanwy attacked her and she ... all the blood and the screams!" He pushed away from Jack suddenly and dry heaved. There was nothing in his stomach to come up, a thin dribble of saliva falling on the bed between them. "Oh God! That poor girl! She killed that poor girl and took her body and then you all shot her."

Jack pulled him close, hands strong against Ianto's quivering back. Ianto couldn't be consoled though. He'd done a terrible thing. He'd caused everything. It was all his fault.

"I'm sorry!" he sobbed into Jack's chest, clutching at his arms as if he would fall away. He was missing something. There was something he should remember. But he couldn't. All he knew was that he'd brought Lisa to the Hub and two people were dead because of it, because of him. He didn't understand why the face of the cyberman kept shifting though, from Lisa's achingly familiar features, to some man he had never met before. But it was Lisa. He knew it was. That's what had happened.

"I'm sorry," he said again, crumbling. He couldn't stop shaking. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have brought her to the Hub. I shouldn't have snuck her in. I'm so sorry. I just wanted to save her. It's my fault they're dead."

Jack's efforts to console the quaking body in his arms were utterly useless. He might as well not be there for all the good he was doing. All he could do was hold Ianto and listen to him, and feel his heart break with every shaking plea, every sobbed apology. He understood now, well, somewhat at least. He didn't have all of the details, but he could deduce what was going on. Ianto was confusing the present with events that had happened in some parallel future he had seen.

What he was hearing sounded tragic and he felt deeply for the young man cradled in his embrace. Tears slipped unbidden down his own face as he pressed a ligering kiss to Ianto's forehead. "It's okay, Ianto," he urged gently, trying to get through to the younger man. "Lisa is alive. She was never converted."

Ianto didn't seem to hear. He only wept and dug his fingers into Jack's biceps. He kept begging for forgiveness, pleading that Jack stay with him. As if Jack would ever abandon him.

Slowly, so very slowly, Ianto's body succumbed to exhaustion and he fell into an uneasy sleep. Jack laid him down, sliding himself against the young man's side. He couldn't leave him. Suzie could wait. She wasn't going anywhere.

He slid his hand over Ianto's face, wiping away the tears with his thumb. Ianto flinched, moaning and muttering more apologies, fingers seeking out Jack unconsciously. Even in sleep he was shaking, tears dripping along his face.

Jack fumbled around on the table by his bed, grabbing the mobile they had pulled out of one of Ianto's pockets. He thumbed through the contacts, eventually finding the number he wanted. Keeping his eyes on Ianto, he put the phone to his ear and waited for the call to be picked up.

"What is it, Ianto?" A woman's voice, cheerful and warm.

"Lisa Hallett?" When he received confirmation he continued. "This is Jack Harkness. I'm calling about Ianto. He's-" he looked down at the man sleeping fitfully beside him. "He's having a bad time. Can you come to Cardiff? It has to do with Canary Wharf."

There was the sound of movement. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

Jack felt immensely relieved. "I'll see what I can arrange from my end to get you here as quickly as possible." With that, the two of them ended the conversation and Jack started making a few calls in the hope of pulling a few strings.

Lisa had already thrown her toiletries together. Now she was packing a suitcase with several changes of clothing. She didn't know how long she'd be in Cardiff, but she did know she'd be there for as long as Ianto needed her. She had found someone new since Ianto had left, but he still held a very special place in her heart. The two of them had shared a nightmare that only other survivors could understand. That Jack Harkness had called her meant he knew that fact and it raised her estimation of him a great deal.

She was just closing her suitcase when there was a knock on the door. She frowned in confusion as she answered it. Several men in UNIT uniforms stood there. "Can I help you?"

The man saluted her. "Miss Lisa Hallett?"

Lisa nodded in confusion. "Yes. That's me."

The man stood at attention. "Sergeant Gattsburg, Ma'am. We got a call from Captain Jack Harkness saying that you were needed in Cardiff ASAP. Wasn't given the particulars, but my C.O. impressed upon me the urgency of the situation. I'm here to take you to where the chopper is waiting. We'll have you where you're needed before the tea gets cold."

Lisa blinked. When Jack Harkness made arrangements, he really made arrangements. She cleared her throat. "Thank you, Sergeant. Let me just get my bags and lock up."

Gattsburg nodded and gave her another salute. "Ma'am!"

After doing one quick check to make sure she had everything, she grabbed her keys and followed the UNIT officers to their waiting car.

As promised, they had arrived in Cardiff before Lisa knew it. She fidgeted in the car as she waited for them to arrive at their destination. She didn't know what to expect, but it wasn't the dark-haired woman waiting for her.

"Lisa Hallett, I presume?" She held out her hand. "I'm Gwen Cooper." She smiled, showing a distinct gap between her two front teeth. "Jack sent me to guide you to the Hub."

Lisa shouldered her bag and shook Gwen's hand. "I wish we were meeting under better circumstances. How's Ianto? What happened?"

Gwen spread her hands. "I can't tell you here." She smiled a fetching smile at the UNIT men. "We can't thank you enough for your help."

Lisa watched the soldiers leave before turning back to Gwen Cooper. "All right. What happened that Jack Harkness, a man Miss Hartman said cared only about himself, used Ianto's mobile to call me?"

Gwen sighed and motioned for Lisa to follow her, which Lisa did. She was confused as to why they stopped on a slab of pavement until it moved beneath her like a lift. "What in the world is this?"

Gwen didn't look happy. "The quickest way into the Hub." She looked up.

Lisa looked up as well to see a piece of pavement slip into place to replace the one the lift had taken away. "Clever."

Gwen nodded. "Yes, but dangerous if someone happens to walk over the hole when the lift is going up." She sighed. "All right. Short version is someone smuggled a half-converted cyberman into the Hub and Ianto ran into him."

Lisa felt her stomach turn. "Who in God's green Earth was stupid enough to do that? Poor Ianto! If it weren't for him, I would have been dead ... or worse." Then what Gwen had said sank in. "What do you mean HALF-converted?"

Gwen looked as if she had eaten something sour. "Exactly that. He was only half converted. If not for the fact that it was something that could have killed me, he would have been quite handsome."

"Like I said ... the ones who died during that whole ordeal were the lucky ones. Those few of us that survived have to deal with the nightmares." She took a few deep breaths. "Do not let me anywhere near the idiot who brought one of those abominations here."

Gwen Cooper gave her a grim smile. "Don't worry about that. We're all very protective of Ianto. She won't get off lightly."

Suzie paced in her cell. She didn't care about what was going to happen to her. She deserved to rot in this cell next to the Weevil that had been named Janet. Her concern was for Ianto. She cursed herself as being every kind of fool as she made the short laps from the cot to the wall and back. She paused as the sound of footfalls approaching reached her ears. Heels ... so it was either Gwen or Tosh. She didn't know what, if anything, she was going to say.

It was Tosh who came into her line of sight. Suzie had never seen a look of utter disappointment on the other woman's face like the one she was wearing at that moment. Nor had she ever seen Tosh look so furious. Of all of them, Tosh was the gentlest next to Ianto.

"I am going to leave the cell door closed only because I don't trust myself to not strike you." Tosh's voice was low and full of ice-cold venom. "How could you do it? Never mind the danger you put us all in. How could you keep something you knew would upset Ianto in the Hub?"

Suzie sat on the cot. "Please believe that I never meant for anyone to get hurt, least of all Ianto."

Tosh didn't look mollified as she stepped away from Suzie's cell. "You are so lucky it's Jack in charge and not me." She turned and walked away. She said one last thing before she was out of earshot. "I would have called UNIT without a second thought."

Suzie sighed and mourned the loss of friendship and trust that her actions had caused. If Jack allowed her to stay in Torchwood, she was determined to take the hard route and work beside the people she had betrayed. Regardless of her intentions, she knew she should have gone to Jack.

Lisa followed Gwen while looking around. She had often been curious as to what Torchwood Cardiff looked like. It wasn't like Torchwood London. In some ways, it was even better. One thing that had never sat well with Lisa was how flashy the tower had been. This was more subtle. It was what she always thought a secret base should be. It was massive, and she just knew that the local populace of Cardiff had no idea what was beneath their very feet. "It's so huge!" She gasped as something screeched and flew over her head. "Is that what I think it is?"

Gwen turned and smiled a little at her. "Yep! It's a pterodactyl. She gave me a start my first day here, too. Then Jack had me bring my boyfriend, Rhys, around. She did it to him, as well. I think she just does that to get your measure." She chuckled softly. "According to Tosh and Owen, that was what finally got Ianto a job here. One night, Jack was out on the road giving out orders. The next thing they knew, there was a ruddy great prehistoric bird patrolling the Hub and Ianto was here making everyone the most gorgeous coffee they'd ever had."

Lisa frowned a little. "I do hope you all see him for more than his excellent coffee."

A male voice spoke up. "You'd better believe it! Average grades, my arse! Coffee boy is a bloody genius and damn good at hiding it!" The speaker was not handsome by Lisa's standards, but his features were not unpleasant. He held out his hand. "Doctor Owen Harper, resident physician. I'm looking after Ianto. Poor bloke keeps going on and on about what happened at One, and I agree with Jack's impulse on bringing you here. Ianto seems to think you got converted."

Gwen hissed. "Oh ... poor Ianto. I was wondering what he meant by saying he stopped it from happening."

Lisa felt the ball of worry within her gut grow. "As I already told Miss Cooper, Ianto was the one who got me to safety. Seeing something like that, however, must have been just horrible." She held up her hands, forestalling further comments. "I'm sorry if I seem rude, but I'd like to see Ianto now. Please."

Owen half-turned and gestured for her to follow him. "This way."

Lisa dropped her bags, abandoning them on the lift, and followed the Torchwood Three doctor. He paused beside a door, his hand on the knob and turned to give her a serious look.

"I'll warn you, he's in a right state. I've had to sedate him twice now and he wakes up screaming. And if you think you're going to be left alone with him, think again. Jack won't leave his side. I don't think Ianto would let go of him long enough for him to try." He flickered a brief smile. "Just be careful. We've all gotten a bit protective of our coffee boy."

"No more protective than I am."

Owen opened the door and stepped aside. As soon as Lisa entered the room, her heart broke. The room reminded her of a hospital ward, several beds separated only by a curtain that hung from the ceiling between them. Two of the beds had been shoved together to make a larger surface, and on that bed were two men. Lisa instantly recognized one as Ianto. She could only guess that the other man was Captain Jack Harkness.

Ianto was on his side, facing the door, his face red and blotchy, and streaked with tears. He was sobbing, even in his sleep. Jack was lying behind him, arms circling his shaking body, trying to soothe him with gentle strokes.

Lisa didn't hesitate. She was across the room in an instant. She wavered only briefly as she reached the bed, then kicked off her shoes and threw off her jacket. She climbed onto the bed with the two men, knowing only that Ianto needed her right now.

"Ianto?" she whispered, lightly touching his cheek.

His eyes were red from crying, but he opened them at her gentle urging. He looked at her, disbelief flickering in the bright blue. "Lisa? But you're dead," he croaked.

She kissed his forehead. "No, I'm not. You saved me, remember? All of Torchwood Tower was going to Hell, and you were there just in time to keep them from grabbing me." She watched him furrow his eyebrows in that way she recognized as him trying to solve a puzzle. "Shhh. You're safe and in the presence of people who care about you. We won't let anything harm you."

Jack leaned over to kiss Ianto's cheek. "Sleep now. You've been pushing yourself too hard lately, and this latest drama didn't help matters any. We've got you."

Lisa felt relieved as Ianto's eyes slowly drooped closed as she smoothed his hair away from his head the way she used to when they were together. She looked up and met a pair of brilliant blue eyes. "Thank you for calling me."

Jack drew a shuddering breath. "I've never seen him lose his composure like this and it honestly frightened me. I did the only thing I could think of to help him." His hand continuously stroked the length of Ianto's body, caressing from shoulder to hip and back up again.

Lisa could understand. "I never thought anything could do this to him. It breaks my heart to see him like this." She watched Ianto sleep a few moments. "What are you going to do? You know, to the person who did this."

Jack sighed. "It isn't just up to me. I won't make a decision until all of us, including Ianto, discuss the situation."

Lisa let out a breath. She was glad Ianto would be part of the decision-making process. "So what happened? I just got the basic story."

Jack shook his head. "One of my operatives decided to see if she could use the technology to benefit mankind. Either by improving prosthetics or advancing robotics, whatever. She even brought in an expert to help her while we were all out. We returned earlier than she expected." He half-shrugged. "The whole thing just went downhill from there."

Some of Lisa's anger faded a little, and she appreciated that Jack was carefully avoiding the use of the words "cyber" and "teminate" anywhere in his explanation. "I suppose the whole story hasn't gotten around to the rest of your team."

"No. My first concern was Ianto. I wanted him to get some rest and to get re-oriented. Something happened that threw his sense of reality off, and I wanted that corrected before I took any other actions. He's more important to me." He regarded her. "So you're the ex. Why did he ever let a gorgeous woman like you slip away from him?"

Lisa snorted. "I guess he felt like he was missing something. We weren't seeing each other as much towards the end. I'm just glad he didn't make up one of those cliche speeches."

Jack let out a weak chuckle and turned a fond expression on Ianto.

Lisa was glad that Ianto was cared for. He had so much love in his heart that it was only right that someone looked after it. "I know I'm not his girlfriend anymore, but you will be sorry if you ever hurt him. You did have a reputation at the tower, you know."

Jack had the good grace to look abashed. "Yeah. Maybe I was missing something, too. I've met a lot of people in my time, but Ianto is very special."

Lisa smiled and gazed at Ianto's sleeping face. It was calm as if his sleep was finally peaceful and free of nightmares. "Yes, he is."

Tosh was still scowling as she did her routine rift scans. She just couldn't believe that Suzie, of all people, would endanger them like that. What could she have been thinking? She looked up and stood when she saw Jack walking towards her. "How's Ianto?"

Jack frowned at her. "What are you still dong here?"

Tosh cleared her throat. "Look around. Gwen's asleep on the sofa and Owen is in the autopsy area dead to the world, pardon the pun." She shrugged. "We didn't want to leave without knowing if Ianto was all right."

From autopsy, Owen groaned and sat up. "It lives!" A moment later, he staggered towards them, rubbing an eye wearily. "Does he need to be sedated again?"

Gwen snorted awake and looked around, then scrambled to join them around Tosh's workstation.

Jack shook his head. "He's finally getting some rest. I just wanted to take a moment to touch base with everyone." He looked at the three remaining members of his team. "Gwen, does Rhys know what's going on?"

Gwen grunted as she shook her head as if to clear it. "What? Oh! Oh yeah. He's coming by in a few hours with some breakfast for everyone. Should I call him and let him know to make food for Miss Hallett as well as himself and the six of us?"

Tosh bit her lip and kept herself from asking why they were feeding Suzie. She was angry, but no one deserved to be starved.

Jack seemed to think a moment and nodded. "Good idea. While I have you all together, I'm going to give you the story I got from Suzie so you can all think about what you want to do about her. Ianto is going to be informed as well because he deserves as much of a say if not more." He folded his arms. "The short version of it is, Suzie did mean well. She made a bad decision, but that will happen." He was quiet a moment. "Long version is that Suzie was hoping that, with further study, she could either improve prosthetics or cybernetics. She brought in an expert. What happened was he decided to make it more independant. We know the rest."

"Bugger." Owen rubbed his eyes again.

Tosh seconded Owen's opinion. She was still upset at Suzie's part in what had happened, but she was not as furious as she had been before hearing the abridged explanation.

Lisa watched Ianto and knew when his nightmares were coming back because he started twitching and mumbling in his sleep. The spells were fewer, and he was getting more rest in, but the same nightmares still woke him up. She looked over at the sound of someone approaching and felt relief when she saw Jack walking towards them.

"I had hoped they'd stopped." The man souned so old and sad when he said that.

Lisa smiled kindly at him. "The human mind is a tricky and often cruel thing. I wish there had never been something like this to start the visions he's imagining, but what is ... is." Ianto gasped and his eyes shot open. He looked around wildly for a second before he focused on Lisa. The anguish in his eyes broke her heary again. "Another nightmare?"

Ianto nodded, his chest still heaving.

Jack came closer and placed a hand against Ianto's cheek. "Not as bad." At least Ianto wasn't screaming. "Do you want to try and sleep a little longer or stay awake? Gwen said Rhys was going to bring in some breakfast for everyone."

Ianto sat up stiffly. "Pizza." There was something almost desperate in his tone.

Jack frowned in thought. "It might be tricky, but maybe Rhys can whip something up."

Ianto shook his head. "No ... Jubilee Pizza."

Jack sighed. "It's five o'clock in the morning, Ianto. They won't be open yet. If you still want pizza at lunch time, I promise that I'll put the order in myself. All right?"

"Annie ... has to be delivered by Annie." Ianto was shaking and he gave Jack a fragile smile. "Thank you. I should get dressed. The others will be here soon."

Jack laughed warmly. "They never left. They all care about you and want to know you're all right."

Ianto's eyes widened. "I need to shower and get ready, then. If they all stayed here, then Owen probably slept in autopsy while Gwen crashed on that lumpy excuse for a sofa. Knowing Tosh, she slept at her station if she slept at all." He was still shaking as he stood. Then he looked around, for the first time noticing his surroundings. "Do I have a suit here?"

"In the bathroom," Jack replied.

Lisa watched him go and looked to Jack. "Is that a good idea? Shouldn't he be resting?"

Jack's eyes were full of a mix of warmth and concern. "He gets bored when left without work. I give him a day off, he comes in anyway. I'll make sure he takes it easy for a few days."

They waited a few minutes and Ianto came in buttoning his shirt with some difficulty. His tie was draped loosely around his neck. He couldn't stop the tremors in his hands.

Jack was quick to go to his side and help him, easily slipping the buttons through their appropriate holes. "You could get by with a T-shirt and jeans, Ianto. I don't think anyone is expecting you to work today."

Ianto shook his head and straightened his cuffs while looking for his jacket. "I need to, Jack. I need to get back into the routine."

Jack sighed and put his hands on Ianto's still-trembling shoulders. "I understand, but I have to make something clear." He met Ianto's eyes before he continued. "You are on light duties. Paperwork and such. You are not to go to the cells and I don't want you to go to the archives alone. Owen can feed the inmates today."

Ianto was quiet. "I can understand not wanting me in the archives. I'm not sure I want to go there today." He shuddered as if terrified by the thought. "But why shouldn't I go down to the cells?"

Jack's eyes were filled with sorrow. "Because I locked Suzie in one until we all decide on what to do with her."

Whatever reaction Lisa was expecting Ianto to have, it wasn't the one she witnessed.

To Be Continued ...

AUTHOR'S NOTE: As always, a million thanks to my best friend, Keara, who fixed quite a few things that were wrong with this part. I intended to try to keep this one part per episode, but Cyberwoman turned out to be a tricky one. I also thank all my readers. Remember: Reviews are food for muses.