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Disclosure

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Setup: Season 2, episode 6, It's Better to Burn Out than Fae Away. All canon up to this point. This starts out right before the kiss that led to the steamy doccubus goodness. (this story gets kinda sexy, but it's not a smutfic - sorry :-P) Dialogue from the show owned by Showcase/Prodigy is in bold italics. Pleases review! :-) And Happy New Year everybody! :-)

A/N: Oops! I just re-watched the original scene, and I forgot to account for the fact that Kenzi is supposed to be passed out on the couch! LOL. So in that regard, this is slightly "AU" because Kenzi is definitely NOT on the couch. Boy would that have been awkward… ;-)

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Bo: I will not let anything happen to you.

Lauren: I know that you'll try. But tomorrow I'll be gone. Maybe forever.

(They lean in toward each other, but then Lauren stops and pulls back before they can kiss.)

Lauren: I need to know this isn't about you getting over Dyson.

Bo: No. This is about us.

"Us? You want to be an 'us?' As in, not just sex?"

Bo looked at Lauren in confusion. She couldn't tell if Lauren's tone of voice was from alarm or hopefulness. Bo thought that by now Lauren should have noticed how much Bo had been pining for her, since it had been becoming harder and harder to hide.

"Of course, Lauren…don't you?" Bo asked timidly.

"Oh, god yes!" Lauren pounced on Bo and pulled her in for a desperately greedy kiss that almost brought them both to their knees. Lauren was nearly blind with lust, but just as Bo began maneuvering them toward the stairs, Lauren stopped in her tracks.

"Wait, wait…oh god, I can't…I-I can't do this to you again." Lauren covered her face and stepped back as she was overwhelmed by a mixture of regret, shame, and sexual frustration.

"What? What's wrong? I thought you wanted this?" Bo couldn't hide the panic in her voice.

"I do! I want it so bad it's suffocating me! But we can't do it like this."

"Like what?"

Lauren looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath, then resolutely stared Bo in the eye. "Bo, do you have any idea how long I've been in love with you?"

Bo raised her eyebrows in shock and stammered, "I…you…uh…" Holy shit.

"The first time we had sex I was already hopelessly in love with you. I made mad, passionate love to you and it was incredible. I…I was beyond happy! And then I ruined it, ruined us because I lied by omission. It's been a year, Bo – and sometimes the regret, the longing, all of the stupidly wasted time... it can be so unbearable, and –"

Bo interrupted Lauren with an insistent kiss, holding her tightly until her body tension started to release. "Lauren, there were so many times afterwards when I saw how you looked at me, that I knew there had to be so much more there than lust, but I let my pride get in the way and I was afraid of getting hurt again. I was a stubborn ass and I should have let you have that talk sooner. But I've never stopped wanting you, Lauren. But I'll be honest…I wouldn't let myself call it love, because it was just too painful to deal with, knowing that I had lost you before we even had a chance. And I'm still scared, but now I can't just walk away without trying. So please, baby, what's stopping you now?"

Lauren closed her eyes and rested her forehead against Bo's. "Bo, I've been hiding something from you, because I'm a coward. And I think you're on the brink of finding out because obviously The Morrigan knows something, though I don't know how." With fear in her eyes, she pulled back to look at Bo. "I have to tell you before you hear it from her, even though I'm afraid you might not want me anymore. But I just can't let you jump into bed with me and then let the bomb fall on you later. It would be the same kind of cruel betrayal that derailed us in the first place. And if it's inevitable that you won't want me after you find out, it's not right for me to take advantage of the situation now and have sex before you can reject me, no matter how desperate I am to make love with you. I'm terrified of losing you again, Bo – but I can't deceive you – not again."

Bo unwrapped her arms from around Lauren and stared at the floor. "Lauren…" She looked back up at the woman she had fallen for so long ago, unable to hide the vulnerability on her face. "Is this secret going to break my heart again?" She asked in a wounded voice.

Lauren tenderly caressed Bo's cheek. "Honestly Bo, I'm not sure. I hope not, but I think it's going to be up to you, really."

"I guess we should sit down then." Bo said with a sigh of resignation.

After sitting on the couch staring silently at each other for a good two minutes, Bo finally rolled her eyes and gave Lauren an affectionate nudge. "Lauren, this is the kind of conversation where you have to talk first."

"I have a girlfriend." Lauren blurted.

Bo recoiled as if she had been slapped. "What, are you shitting me? What the hell, Lauren?" Instantly crushed and furious, Bo didn't need to hear anymore and jumped up from the couch to leave. But with an eerie since of déjà vu, Lauren managed to grab Bo's wrist before she got away.

"Wait! That didn't come out right. Technically I have a girlfriend, but she –"

"Oh right, that sounds so much better. Technically? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Technically, in that there's never been an opportunity to officially end our relationship because she's been in a coma for five years!" Lauren frantically rattled off her explanation so fast that it took a moment for Bo to decipher what she said.

"Oh." Bo's fury instantly deflated, leaving her somewhere between relieved and confused. Shit. "Is she brain dead?" Bo cringed as she heard how callous she sounded. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be so blunt."

"It's ok. It's a valid question. Tests indicate she isn't brain dead, but she is on life support. I've been trying to find a cure for five years, but I've failed miserably."

Bo finally returned to sitting on the couch. "So, um, what happened to her? And what does it have to do with The Morrigan and your enslavement to the Light?"

"I actually have no idea how The Morrigan knows anything. It doesn't have anything to do with her. Nadia caught a Fae disease when she accompanied me to the Congo five years ago. I was there on a research grant. While we were there we found out that a local village had been struck by a mysterious, virulent disease, so I dropped everything and went to help. It wasn't long till I discovered that they weren't actually human."

"So that's how you met the Fae."

"Right. They were actually somewhat horrified that they had been discovered by a human, but they were too desperate to refuse my help. By some miracle I finally came up with a cure that saved the remaining survivors, although sadly they had lost over half of their village to the disease. And Nadia caught it too, though obviously she didn't die. Interestingly, since I was the one who had direct contact with the sick, I ran regular tests and screenings on myself and I was clearly immune and it appeared that my humanity was the reason. But not so for Nadia. Anyway, the Ash made me an offer. He would give me access to all his resources in order to find a cure for her, in exchange for my servitude to the Light."

"Oh my god Lauren, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard it's been for you. But…after five years, do you really think she still has a chance to wake up? Do people even wake up from comas that long?"

"I'll admit it is relatively rare. But she shows no sign of brain damage even though her brain is obviously unable to communicate with her lungs. As her girlfriend and her doctor, I feel completely responsible for what happened to her. After five long years of enslavement there have been plenty of times where I questioned if I was going to be able to give up my freedom indefinitely to chase after a futile goal. But I would sometimes have these terrible nightmares that she was in there, fully conscious and aware, trapped in her body, going mad – even though there's no scientific basis to believe that – but then I would feel so horribly guilty for even thinking about abandoning her! So I would steel my resolve again and redouble my commitment to her. I just can't give up on her, Bo. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

"You've made an unimaginable sacrifice, Lauren. You must love her very deeply." Bo said quietly. She was in awe of Lauren's passionate loyalty and determination, but the chill was starting to settle in her chest as she realized she would never truly have Lauren's heart, whether Nadia woke up or not.

"I do. But if I'm honest with myself, the hard truth is that if Nadia wakes up, I can't love her the way she deserves to be loved."

"What do you mean?"

"I care deeply for her. I want her to have her life back, I want her to be happy, and I don't want her to be alone. But five years is a long time. For five years we haven't been able to function like girlfriends. Our relationship has been redefined as caregiver and patient. And I'm also a different person now, after all that I've lived through. We can't ever have what we had before."

"I can understand that. But isn't that sort of hypothetical right now? Do you really think you'll still feel the same way if you were to see her wake up – alive, well and in love with you?"

"That's a good question, one that you have every right to ask. What actually scares me is that if I come face to face with her, my emotions will cloud my judgment. Despite the fact that I've had less than thirty minutes to seriously consider that she could wake up soon, right now I can be more objective than I would be if Nadia were standing right in front of me. I know that if I were to go back to her, it would be a love based on guilt and loyalty, not passion and joy. And even though I would do it because I couldn't bear to break her heart after she's already lost so much, I know that in the long run it wouldn't be fair to her."

"Or to you."

Lauren reached over and grasped Bo's hand tightly. "Or you either, Bo. Because you're the one that I want, even though I know there are inherent obstacles for you to be with a human. I don't know if that means we're doomed and destined for heartbreak – I know others would think so. But I know what my heart wants. I want you. I'm sorry if that's too overwhelming or too soon for you to hear, but it's the honest truth."

Lauren stared hopefully into Bo's eyes, looking for signs that she had changed her mind about pursuing a relationship. At first Bo was completely unreadable, then Lauren finally saw the spark in her eye as her mouth slowly curved up into a coy grin. Lauren held her breath as she watched Bo lean into her slowly until she gently captured Lauren's lips in an aching kiss. Unlike their earlier frantic kisses, Bo kissed Lauren as languidly and deliberately as possible, savoring every surface of her mouth as if it were a fine wine. Lauren Lewis was the only person that Bo had ever kissed this slowly, and it still stoked a raging fire within the love struck succubus, just like that first night a year ago.

Lauren was ready to completely succumb to her passions, but there was still more she needed to say before she could let herself melt into a boneless puddle of desire. "Bo…"

"Yes, baby?" Bo cooed as she gently nuzzled Lauren's neck.

"I don't see how a sadistic supernatural talent agent like The Morrigan can possibly know anything about curing a mysterious disease that I practically wrote the book on. But if she really does know something useful and Nadia wakes up, breaking up with her will be one of the hardest things I will ever do. And I'll need you to help me be strong and do the right thing. And if the guilt, the fear of hurting her, and all my other confusing emotions overwhelm me into being a coward, will you fight for me, until I come to my senses? Will you fight for us?"

Bo placed another lingering sensual kiss on Laurens lips. "If that is what you really want, then nothing will stop me."

Lauren cradled Bo's face in her hands and showered her with butterfly kisses. "Bo…I needed to tell you about Nadia because she was the one secret I had that could make you distrust my feelings, just like what happened when I let the Ash's political agenda come between us. I couldn't let something like that drive us apart again. But there's still a lot in my past you don't know about. I have many regrets I'm not proud of, painful secrets that I'm not prepared to talk about yet, and I have no idea when I will be… Is that something you can live with for now?"

"Lauren, how could I ever judge you for your past? Hello – ten years of being a serial killer here! I would be the world's biggest hypocrite. I hope someday you can feel safe enough to tell me, but it's more important to me that I know who you are, not necessarily what you've done. The past is the past." Bo gently caressed Lauren's lips with her own, giving her a kiss of reassuring tenderness rather than sexual intent. After a few moments she took a break for air and softly nuzzled Lauren's cheek and sighed. "I can live with you having secrets, but…um..."

"What is it?"

Bo looked at Lauren contritely. "Can you live with me not being sexually monogamous?"

Lauren smiled and affectionately stroked Bo's hair. "Bo, I fully accept you, and that you have biological needs I can't fulfill. I know what I'm getting into, but I won't lie, it will be hard for me. But I love you too much for it to be a deal-breaker."

"I'm sorry, baby. I mean, I would if I could, but –"

"I know sweetie…um, maybe there's something you could consider doing for me?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you just not have sex with any friends or close colleagues – well, or anyone that you see on a regular basis? If you just feed and heal from random strangers, and maybe no more than once or twice with the same person, that would go a long way in helping me cope, to help me stay reassured that your heart is mine, even if your body isn't. Could you think about that for me, please?"

Bo grinned seductively and started kissing up Lauren's neck while guiding her to lie back on the couch. Bo reclined on top of her and whispered breathily in her ear, "No need to. Consider it done." Bo resumed covering Lauren's neck, throat, and jaw with wet, open mouth kisses, causing her to pant and mewl as she clutched at Bo's back and ass.

Bo's kisses were making Lauren delirious as she felt her toes curl in her shoes. "Oh god…how do you do this to me? Ohhhhhhh… uh, Bo?" She rasped out between gasps.

"Mmm?"

"Are…are we girlfriends?" Lauren squeaked.

Bo snickered devilishly and licked all the way from Lauren's collarbone to her ear. "Yes baby. And I love you." Bo smoothed her hand over Lauren's breast and gently massaged it through her shirt causing her girlfriend to groan and involuntarily jerk her hips.

"Oh god…bed! No more processing! No more talk! Bed now!" She gasped sharply when she felt Bo's knee press between her thighs. "Oh fuck! Bo, I love you, but you need to get me upstairs while I still have the use of my legs!"

Bo laughed gleefully and hopped off the couch. "Never fear, love. I got it all under control." Lauren shrieked in aroused delight as Bo scooped her up off the couch and carried her upstairs. As Bo reverently laid Lauren down on the bed she wasted no energy worrying about her girlfriend's departure in the morning. Of course, it would be an aggravating setback for a while, but as Bo's eyes shifted to blue as she gazed down at her love, she was filled with a passionate new resolve. The Ash-hole doesn't stand a chance.

FIN