There is a time to take counsel of your fear, and there is a time to never listen to any fear. – George S. Patton

Reid felt so small when he entered the bullpen that morning. He looked around and found himself feeling as if he had never been in the building, he felt like he had the first day he had ever come to the BAU.

"Good morning Doctor Reid" a female voice said politely. Reid looked up and found himself staring saw Erin Strauss giving him a kind and sweet look. Something he had never fully seen on Strauss. Reid looked to his side for a second and reassured himself that Garcia was still there. He had no doubt that Strauss was focusing on the parts of his face that were still bruised slightly.

"Good morning" he smiled back weakly. He knew that she saw straight through him but he also knew that Strauss would not call him on it.

"Take it easy today Dr Reid, I know that Miss Garcia will take care of you" she smiled at him before giving Garcia a small nod. Garcia left Reid giving him an 'it is going to be okay' nod. Reid smiled back but as soon as she turned the corner and disappeared his smile faltered

Reid began to walk further into the bullpen and found himself by his desk without realising it. He pulled off his satchel and sat down at his desk. Reid noticed that everyone was in the kitchen, he had no doubt that they were probably discussing him. He just wanted them to leave him alone. He would try and be professional to them but that was his limit. He knew Rossi, JJ and Emily would not hurt him but he found it hard to trust anyone apart from Garcia.

Reid also noticed that he didn't have any paperwork in his box. He sighed knowing that they were trying to ease him back into the workplace. He didn't want to be treated this way. Reid felt body crave coffee and he started to make his way towards the kitchen. He stopped though when he noticed that Morgan was pouring himself a cup of coffee. Reid retreated back to his desk and grabbed his satchel.

He walked quickly into the bathroom,he was happy no one was in there and into one of the cubicles. He collapsed against the wall of one of the cubicles and brought his knee's up. He tried to calm himself down but he was struggling.

He felt afraid every time he saw Morgan. He couldn't help it.

Just stay near Garcia, they won't try anything if you are near her Reid thought.

Reid felt his breathing steady as he remembered Garcia. Reid took a deep breath in before he pushed himself to his feet. Reid clenched his fists and let out a relaxing breath. He opened the door and made his way back out into the office. He only managed a few steps before JJ and Emily called for his attention.

"Hey Reid" JJ smiled gently before putting a hand on his arm as a sign on comfort. Reid flinched slightly but he managed to suppress it slightly. JJ still noticed that movement though.

"It's nice to have you back Reid" Emily said. She made no moved to try and comfort Reid, she knew Reid better than some on the team and knew that he didn't want to be around them. It hurt her slightly but she knew that Reid was only trying to heal. She knew that was something that was hard for Reid to do.

"Is there something you need?" he asked them. He wanted to go to Garcia and start working with her. They looked slightly hurt but they knew Reid was only this way because of his experiences in the town.

"Garcia says that we have a new case. Meeting in five" JJ told him before walking away with Emily.

Reid looked over to the kitchen, he quickly walked over and poured himself a coffee. He put his usual amount of sugar in before proceeding to the meeting room. He stopped outside the door when noticed that only Morgan and Hotch were in the room. Reid felt his heart ache as memories of his time being tortured came flooding back.

He remembered Morgan holding his legs down as the sheriff stabbed him in the legs with the small metal rods. He remembered his screams being silenced by Hotch. He remembered looking up at Morgan and seeing him with a bloody knife while his vision blurred after his wrists had been cut.

Reid pressed himself against the wall and waited till he was able to push the memories back down. He saw Garcia come towards the office. She looked at the office and then at him and realised why Reid looked so scared. She arrived at his side almost immediately.

"We will go in together. I'll be there the whole time. You know that Hotch and Morgan won't hurt you. You don't have to be afraid of them anymore" Garcia assured him.

"I know they had no control but it doesn't stop the memories from coming through. Being tortured by those I thought I could always trust and who I had come to see as family is hard to forget. I can't help it" Reid whispered to her, his eyes had started to water but he blinked back the tears that wanted to fall.

"Just focus on the case and me while we are in there. You can leave whenever you want" she told him. Reid simply nodded before he followed her into the room.

Hotch and Morgan looked up and watched as Reid and Garcia took their seats around the table. They both noticed Reid and gave each other a worried look. Reid had not allowed them to see him during the four weeks he had been recovering and he wouldn't return any of their calls. It was like he simply wanted to forget they ever existed.

"Good morning Garcia. Good Morning Reid" Hotch said to them, he looked at Reid hoping for any kind of response.

"Good morning you two" Garcia smiled. She looked over to Reid and hoped that he would try and talk to Hotch and Morgan. Her hopes were, for once, answered.

"Good Morning sir" Reid replied quietly, his voice shaking.

Hotch felt a small part of joy at the fact Reid had finally spoken to him but he wasn't going to celebrate until he had Reid back to his old self. Morgan decided he would try and talk to Reid in a more personal way.

Rossi, JJ and Emily all filed in and took their seats. They all looked to Garcia, she stood up to brief the team. Hotch took the seat next to Reid and noticed that Reid was keeping very still.

Like he was afraid to anger Hotch.

"Chicago P.D has asked for assistance on finding a serial rapist who murders his victims after raping them. The victims are all female. No leads have been identified so far. Gina Turner was found in a ditch while the four other victims were found in nearby parks" Garcia explained before bringing up the photo's of the victim's. She looked away while the others noticed how brutally the women had been beaten.

"This shows some serious anger" Emily observed.

"He seems to be sexually motivated. He is definitely a sexual sadist" Rossi observed as well.

The team continued to discuss the case. Reid simply made notes on a piece of paper and chose not to speak up while the others talked. He felt like a stranger sitting in the room, he watched Garcia takes orders from Hotch and felt a sudden angry feeling. Everyone looked to the screen apart from him as they looked more closely at another victim. Reid looked down at the piece of paper to try and calm down when he noticed there was blood on the paper. Reid wiped under his nose to find a stream of blood was running from it. He could taste the blood as it had travelled down to his lips.

Reid pushed his chair back and left the room quickly.

"Reid?" Garcia called after him. They all looked at each other before Rossi noticed the blood on the piece of paper Reid had been so focused on. He got up and walked over to where Reid had been sitting.

"He's bleeding" Rossi told them.

"I'll go" Garcia said as she began to leave but she found Rossi putting up his hand.

"Let me try Garcia. I'll go and see what's going on. Don't worry, I'll come back and get you Garcia if he needs you" Rossi told her before leaving the room. He made his way to the bathroom and walked in to find Reid leaning over a sink with a wad of tissue at his nose.

"It's just a nosebleed. Go back to the meeting" Reid told him, he brought away the tissue to find that blood was still flowing.

"C'mon Reid. We need to talk. We also need to get that stopped" Rossi ordered him before he walked over to Reid.

Reid looked into Rossi's eyes, feeling guilt at the worry he saw there. He sighed and blotted his nose as he fought the flashbacks the blood tried to bring. "I'm fine, really. It's just hard to step back into things. I still feel weak and Rossi," his breath caught in his throat," I'm still scared. I keep telling myself not to be ridiculous, that I'm over it, but I couldn't even get coffee this morning because Hotch was in here." He felt embarrassment redden his cheeks. "What's wrong with me?" Rossi put a hand on his shoulder.

"Nothing's wrong with you Reid. You've been through such an ordeal and we all know how strong you are but that doesn't mean your invincible. Sometimes it just takes time to heal, and sometimes the stuff in here," he put a hand to Reid's heart, "takes longer than any physical injury."

Suddenly, all at once, everything caught up with him and Reid wanted to cry.

"It's like I'll never truly escape that place Rossi. How can I when I have a souvenir of it carved into my chest for me to see every day? What am I supposed to do the next time I go swimming or to the beach? You don't think anyone will notice? You don't think they'll question why I have demon carved into me?" Rossi shook his head, speaking softly.

"It doesn't matter what they think, Reid. All you need to know is that we're here for you, all of us. We can't make the memories go away, they'll always be there, but maybe we can make some new ones, some good ones, all of us together." Reid felt his throat tighten.

"Thanks Rossi." The older man smiled.

"Anytime -" Rossi looked like he wanted to say more but thought better of it. Reid filled the silence.

"We should get back to the meeting." A final tissue dealt with the last of his nosebleed. Rossi studied him.

"You sure you can handle this?" Reid nodded and they set off side by side. He was feeling better than before, but he still chose to stand just inside the door rather than having to sit down beside Hotch again. It was stupid but his hands were shaking uncontrollably and it was sure to annoy the man. He felt a bolt of terror run down his spine at the thought even as his brain told his heart it was being ridiculous. Even as his brain told his heart that Hotch would be more likely to be concerned than angry.

Why, in that moment, did his massive IQ seem to mean nothing?

He hadn't realised the meeting had ended until everyone was standing up waiting patiently for him to move and unblock the door. Reid blushed and stepped aside quickly. He wanted to protest when Prentiss smiled and took him by the arm but then Garcia took him by the arm and lead him towards her technological sanctuary. Garcia grinned at him.

"They're heading out but you're stuck with me. You ready to get started precious? This is the fun begins." Reid gave a nod and a smile found its way onto his lips.

It was small but it was genuine, and it was there.

Smiling is infectious,

You can catch it like the flu.

Someone smiled at me today,

And I started smiling too.

-Author unknown

Hey guys! Hope you like this chapter =) Becky and I wanted to let you know that we're really sorry but the next little while might be a challenge. There were issues with her internet so she's doing her best via phone but it's sort of a pain. Hopefully things will be back to normal soon but for the next little while please understand that updates might be slower. Sorry! We love you all, and thanks so much for sticking with this story. You're all wonderful!