It wasn't nearly as bad as they had thought. After the scrambling for clothes and tunnels and doors, Katara found that she didn't even need to concoct an excuse. Sokka had just gotten a letter from home and was relating that he now had no choice but to go home.
Apparently this whole process was going to be more formal than either of them had thought.
"Have you met this prince Amaqjuaq?" Sokka asked as they walked through one of the gardens.
"No, but father assures me that he is a top-notch guy." Katara muttered and Sokka glanced over at her, wary.
"So, you think they're going to try and marry you off?" He inquired and Katara scoffed.
"They wouldn't dare." Katara paused and kicked at a small rock on the path. "Are you really going to pass on the chiefdom?" Sokka kicked at another rock and sent it skittering off into the grass.
"If it had just been dad's job, what it was before the war and everything, then sure. I love our tribe, but I have no intention of overseeing it, the entire Southern Confederation, and working with the North Pole." Sokka stopped and rubbed the back of his head as he looked up at the sky. "I really respect Arnook, but after Yue I honestly can't be in the same room as him anymore."
"Well, if they manage to marry me to Amaq then you'll still have to deal with him since he'll be my father-in-law."
"I guess that's one thing Aang's got going for him. No in-laws." They laughed and resumed walking in quiet for a few minutes.
"Yue is why Suki is so mad at me right now." Sokka said and Katara startled.
"How so?"
"She had asked me why I wasn't going home. She started fighting with me, saying that we both had our homes to go and protect. I told her that she was my home. She tried to tell me that I only felt this way because she was my first love." Sokka trailed off and Katara put her hand on his back.
"Why is she upset about Yue?"
"Because she asked me if I was still in love with her."
"Oh Sokka." Sokka shrugged off Katara's hand and stepped away.
"It's hard to explain. But yeah, if Yue had managed to survive that time, if she hadn't become the moon spirit, I would have run right back to the North Pole and married her. I mean, I had suddenly become a savior of the world, friend of the Avatar, and the son of the head chief of the Southern Confederation of Tribes. I would have been in the perfect position to marry her and it would have been beautiful." Sokka sighed and his head fell forward. He postured, putting his hands on his hips. "But she didn't. She's gone. And even though I still love her, it's not anything that drives me. I love Suki, more than I probably have any right to. I can love both her and Yue. But she just thinks I'm settling for her."
"Are you?" Katara stood behind him and watched his shoulders droop.
"Of course not. I would've fallen in love with her even if Yue had lived. Then there would be a problem. Now, I don't see a problem. It's not like I have a choice."
"I think that's the problem. I think she wants to know that if there were a choice, that you would choose her." Sokka shook his head and turned to face her.
"Okay, but there isn't a choice. And, putting that aside, I find that I am capable of loving more than one person at a time. But still, Yue isn't here and I only have one of the women I'm in love with so why does it matter?" He groaned and slapped his hands to his face. "I know how it sounds okay?" He pulled his cheeks down and groaned again. "I love Suki for different reasons than I love Yue. I want different things with her. I don't see her as a replacement or, or a second-best. If I'm being completely honest," Sokka turned round again and put his hands in his hair. "Honestly, I would want them both."
"Yeah, okay. That's weird." Katara said and stood next to him. Sokka looked at her and then burst into fits of laughter.
"By the frigid depths don't you think I know that?" He coughed and Katara patted his back. When the settled, Sokka put his arm around her shoulders and squeezed her. "So she and I decided to put things on ice for a little bit so we can sort things out."
"I'm sorry Sokka." Katara said and put her head on his shoulder. He patted the top of her head with his free hand.
"Thanks Katara." He sighed and they naturally disengaged from each other. "Wanna talk about Aang?"
"UGH." Katara threw her hands upward and walked away from the laughing Sokka.
"Anyway," She said as they began to walk toward the palace. Sokka glanced over at her. "How did you get a letter?"
"Post?" Sokka asked and Katara swatted him. "I'm serious. Mail gets delivered to the palace and we got letters."
"We?"
"Yeah, you have one too."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I grabbed it and forgot until this very moment when you brought it up again."
"I swear, I have no idea how any woman tolerates you."
"I'm not going to give it to you if you're going to be so mean to me." Katara blinked and studied Sokka's face. He smirked. She glared. Sokka grinned wider. Katara bent herself over, just a little. He stopped grinning. "Katara." She grinned. "Katara!" He started to edge away. Katara lunged. "KATARA NO!"
Katara tackled Sokka to the ground but he had been ready for the hit. Putting his foot up, by the time his back hit the ground, Sokka was already pushing Katara up and over. She rolled, but Katara lept up just as Sokka did and they stared at each other.
"I'm faster than you are." He said and put one hand up. Katara twitched her hands and Sokka looked to his left.
"You sure about that?" Water flicked up for just a second.
He turned back to her. "You leave your magic water out of this." Katara laughed and steadied herself.
"Aren't you going to run Sokka?" He paused, testing her bluff. Katara spun up a glob of water and sent it whizzing past his head. Sokka yelped, turned, and ran back for the safety of the palace. Before he had reached the doors, Katara had pelted his back with orbs of water. Finding himself soaked, Sokka turned and faced his sister. Katara stood, using a hand to spin three water blobs.
"Bet'ya can't hit me again." He said and crouched down. Katara, still spinning the water, scoffed and flicked her hair back behind her.
"I've been doing well so far." She replied and watched as Sokka stood, holding a long stick. "Ah."
"Bet'ya can't hit me again." He said and took his stance, holding the stick out defensively.
Katara then spent time chasing her brother around, lobbing orbs of water at him while he swung at them with the stick. He could connect more often than not and the orb would explode with enough force to sprinkle them both.
When they finally stopped, they were exhausted and soaked. They perched on a porch and Sokka pulled out a damp envelope.
"Here." He shook it and Katara plucked it from his hands. She broke the simple seal and unfolded the envelope to expose familiar writing.
As she read, Katara's hands started to slowly curl, the paper crinkling under her fingers.
"AH!" She yelled and jumped up, tearing the letter in half. She continued to yell inarticulately as she ripped the paper to pieces.
"I think this is the ONLY time I wish I were a Firebender." She stamped the pieces into the ground.
"Can I be of assistance?" Katara turned and found Zuko standing there. Against her wishes, she felt her eyes prick with tears.
"Set. It. On fire." She seethed and Zuko jumped down from the porch. Taking a deep breath, Zuko held his hands out over the shreds of the letter. Letting the breath out, flames jettisoned from his palms and the paper ignited.
"So," He said after the fire subsided and he stamped out the embers. "What was the good news?"
"I'm going to guess it was a letter from Aang." Sokka spoke up and Katara sat down, rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands.
"That bastard. He called my actions immature. He accused me of stealing Dawa. He told me that when I calmed down he would let me come to him to talk." Katara lowered her hands and sighed in resignation.
"Well it looks like we're all striking out in the romance department." Sokka said.
"What are you saying Sokka?" Zuko asked and Katara stared at him. "I thought our late night conversations meant something." Sokka looked at him, blinked rapidly, and then burst into laughter. Katara relaxed and managed a smile.
"Man, I can't deal with you right now." Sokka said as Zuko opened his arms.
"Sokka. Come on, bring it in buddy." Zuko walked toward Sokka and both he and Katara were laughing hard.
"Dude. No." Sokka choked out and put his foot up to fend off Zuko.
"Sokka." Now Zuko's mouth twitched and Katara could see him fighting back laughter. "I'll let you call me Zuki." Sokka now started coughing and Zuko started laughing. Katara felt her cheeks start to hurt but she couldn't stop laughing. She sniffed and watched Sokka slide down off the porch to hug Zuko.
"You are the weirdest guy I've ever met." Sokka said and clapped his hand on Zuko's back.
"That's only 'cause you can't meet yourself." They separated and Katara could only smile. As Sokka walked back to the porch, Zuko caught her eye and winked.
Her pulse fluttered for just a moment.
The next few days were spent in an easy routine. The mornings, the early mornings, Zuko and Sokka would spar. Katara would spend that time reading, as she had found worthwhile books to study. Her brother had asked her to join and in another time and Katara normally would have taken the opportunity to practice with someone of such a different bending style. But Zuko worked shirtless and Katara was frustrated by how distracted she would get.
She had wanted to work with Suki, but the other woman had disappeared with Ty Lee to work on the school and going to check on Azula.
At the end of the day, Ty Lee would report to Zuko and there was never a change. Azula and Ozai never spoke to each other and wouldn't even eat together.
In the moments between, Zuko and Katara continued their tryst.
Sometimes it was only stolen moments in an office. She would straddle him in a chair and his hands would slip down the shoulders of her robe. As his mouth went to a bare breast, Katara would run her fingers through his hair and hold his head close to her.
Other times, it was late enough that they drank fire wine in the moonlight. They would swim in the small bathing pool and Katara would make hands of the water and caress Zuko into madness. He would take her to her bed, soaking wet and ready for him. They would tangle themselves in the sheets and into each other.
It began to get more and more difficult to hide their affection. Zuko, in an attempt to make peace between Sokka and Suki, took everyone - including Ty Lee - to the Botanical Gardens. Again he threaded flowers in her hair and Katara felt herself pale as Ty Lee's alert gaze flicked over them.
It hurt to be so close to Zuko and not do the things she wanted. Simple things like hold his hand, or lean on him during the carriage rides. These were things that she did so readily and easily with Aang, to the point that she barely noticed doing them. But here, unable to even glance at him for too long, Katara noticed the absence of such gestures with a sharpness that surprised her.
And Zuko seemed unperturbed by the whole ordeal.
At night, when Katara was alone, she wondered what exactly it was that Zuko wanted. He said he loved her, but she would never catch him staring at her when others were around. He would never accidentally brush past her, or make any sort of sign that he was noticing her. During the times where they were together, Katara could never seem to bring it up. All she could think about was listening to him talk, or just feeling him hold her.
When they were around other people, Katara started to pull away. She prolonged her time in the study with her books to make her late for the group breakfast. She wouldn't look at him quite so often.
When they were alone, Zuko seemed quieter. But she would go to him and he would ask her about what she was reading. He seemed so earnest and genuine, as if he truly wanted to know what fascinated her, and she would always tell him.
It wasn't always just the sex. If it were, Katara wouldn't be so confused. Instead, Zuko talked to her about everything. They discussed politics, family, and the theories of other Waterbenders living in unknown locations. They had in fact spent one day alone just talking about the Foggy Swamp Benders.
So Katara was confused by Zuko's stoic attitude toward her. He was still congenial to her, Sokka, and Suki, with an icy politeness extended to Ty Lee. But he seemed to be reserved.
She ultimately brought it up to Chang.
"You are a smart girl," Chang started and sat Katara down on a cushion. "So I wonder how you can be so absolutely wrong about this." Katara balked and started to stand, but Chang put a firm hand on her shoulder and she sat back down. She had just gotten out of the shower and Chang had offered to speak with her while she brushed out her hair.
"Zuko, the Fire Lord, can't act like a lovesick puppycat in public. That would be devastating to his reputation." Chang said as she sat down on the couch behind Katara and started taking the comb through her wet hair.
"I guess I'm just not comfortable with being," Katara paused as the word got stuck in her throat. "His mistress."
"Did you ever hear about the Shadow Lady?"
"No."
"A long time ago, the Fire Nation was actually split in two. There was the Northern Kingdom and the Southern Kingdom. In order to unify the kingdoms and make them one nation, The king from the Northern Kingdom married the princess of the Southern Kingdom. Upon the death of her father, the two kingdoms would fall under the rule of the Northern King, as the princess was an only child and there were no other direct heirs to the throne.
"Well, the problem was that until the day the various councils decided that, the Northern king had been engaged to a Northern lady. Of course, she was expected to step aside and she did. The Northern king married his Southern bride." Chang kept combing and Katara closed her eyes as she felt the stiff teeth run over her scalp.
"Let me guess," Katara said. "He kept her as his mistress."
"Of course. But it's what she did that shocked everyone. It was she who bore the first child of the new Fire Lord. However, shortly into the child's third month, he was killed. She suspected the Fire Lord's wife, or at least her family, but she said nothing. The Northern lady was grieved but she still stayed by the Fire Lord's side.
"The Fire Lady gave birth to a son not long after. Then, a sickness ravaged the land. First, the Southern king died. Then the Fire Lord. Finally, the infant prince sickened. The Fire Lady went to the Northern woman's home, as it was close to the palace, and begged for help. The late Fire Lord's uncle was looking to take the throne and it was rumored that he had bribed the doctors to let the infant prince die."
"That's awful. This nation is awful."
"Yes. Now hush. The Northern lady, still grieving her son and her love, agreed to help. She helped nurse the prince and became the handmaid of the Fire Lady. While the Fire Lady acted as regent, it was well known that the Northern lady ruled through her. When the son came of age, he was left weak from his earlier sickness. She stayed on and guided him, ultimately securing him a marriage into a noble house in the south. She is known as the Shadow Lady because she ruled from the shadows." Chang finished and began braiding Katara's hair.
"That's great, but I can't exactly be Zuko's public mistress either. And I have no intention in getting myself mixed up with the mess of politics here when I have so much on my hands at home."
"All I'm saying is, love finds a way."
"Have you talked to Suki?"
"She is a jiejie. If she doesn't want to discuss certain matters then I must leave them alone." Katara was silent as Chang finished braiding and tied her hair.
"What do you think I should do?" Katara asked. Chang let go of the braid and Katara shivered as the chill of it hit her back.
"I think you should both leave this palace to the wolves and travel the world." Chang replied and Katara scoffed.
"Thanks Chang."
Katara attempted to relax more and tried to enjoy her time with Zuko more. But after a week with no change between Azula and Ozai, he was started to get aggravated. Their conversations, in public and private, turned to Zuko's paranoia that the two were somehow still plotting against him.
"I didn't know your family was into being mimes." Sokka had tried to joke one night.
"I'm not an idiot." Zuko had snapped and Sokka raised an eyebrow.
"No, you're just paranoid," Her brother retorted and Zuko slammed his hands on the table. Katara had jumped but Sokka only looked bored.
"I'm going to take a walk," Zuko hissed the words and stomped out of the room. Sokka shook his head and sighed.
"I can't take too many people being irrational." He said in way of an excuse and Katara let out a breath.
"We'll be leaving soon. Do you think we should just head back to Republic City?" Katara asked.
"Nah. I want to see how this goes. When he calms down, he'll need us here."
"And Suki?"
"And Suki. Though I have more hope for Zuko than her."
"Fire burns quick and earth resists change."
"So what does that make us?"
"Emotional and prone to drowning." Sokka laughed and stood up, stretching his arms over his head.
"With dad taking over the head of the Southern Confederation, there was talk of me being married to another chief's daughter."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah. Apparently Arnook talked about me being the best man for protecting Yue. Dad was flooded with requests that I marry their daughter."
"I thought I was the only one they were trying to marry off for gain."
"To Amaqjuaq? Yeah, I don't know. I think it's stupid that we can't just forge alliances based on a common goal. Instead it all has to be about who is married to who."
"Says the man who insists on marrying his girlfriend instead of just living with her." Sokka smiled but shook his head again.
"I get it, trust me. But I'd rather make a symbol of something small, that only affects me and her. Not us and the rest of the world." Katara thought about living a quiet life. Ending up with Aang or Zuko, or even Amaqjuaq, did not afford her that option.
Not that she necessarily wanted a quiet life.
The next morning, Zuko did seem to be in better spirits. He and Sokka came into the dining room laughing. Zuko had a fresh bruise on his side and Sokka had a small gash on his upper arm. It looked like they had actually sparred with their actual weapons.
"I just think that two swords is impractical." Sokka said as they sat down. Katara had given them both a withering glance as she started to work on the gash on her brother's arm. Zuko looked sheepish, but Sokka barely registered her indignation.
"And yet I was the one to draw first blood." Zuko pointed out and Katara glared at him again.
"Only because I decided to hit you when I got past your guard. Which is weak because you have two swords." Sokka said and then smiled as Katara bent her water back into her pouch.
"You got past my guard because-" Zuko stopped as the door flew open. Ty Lee braced herself in the doorway as she panted. "Ty Lee?"
"Azula. Said. Something." Ty Lee choked out and Zuko stood.
"Tell me."