A/N: Hello, dear ones! Happy mid-week. We're about to visit a little French cafe where they sell cheap but Frenchy food. It does exist. I copied and pasted the dishes directly, so any incorrect usage of French I blame entirely on them!

It was good for both of them that Bella was who she was. Or perhaps it was bad; Edward couldn't quite decide. After all, without Bella to instigate, there was no way any of this would be happening, and there was no way any of this should be happening. It could not end well.

Despite the fact Edward was, above all things, an extremely rational being, the part of him wrapped up in this extremely irrational endeavor was in firm control. As much as he thought he should, he wasn't about to turn back. Down the rabbit hole, he understood the expression to be.

Still, Edward had to admit he would never have gotten where they were if left to his own devices. He was more than willing to follow, but she was the definite leader. So when Bella decided they should go on a date, Edward readily agreed. He strongly suspected he would have agreed to jump into the sun if she suggested it, but that was neither here nor there.

"Rosalie indicated this was somewhat unusual," Edward said as they were seated. He tried his best not to smirk at the menu. The names of the meals were in French, but the descriptions in English. He was fairly sure no one at Cafe Presse actually spoke French.

"Come on, really? Rosalie, the Amazon, hasn't asked a man on a date?"

Edward quirked an eyebrow. "Much more than that. I'm sure you'll meet Emmett soon. She said just because she's done it doesn't mean it isn't unusual."

"Do you think it's strange?"

"Not particularly. Gender roles are a peculiar concept. That there should be some set of rules based on genitals…" He shook his head. Humans were a most peculiar species. "Does it bother you?"

"No." She bounced a little in her seat and leaned forward. "I'm going to tell you a secret. I'm glad you're cool with this. I've always wanted to come here on a date, but it wasn't ever going to happen. People don't do the dating thing anymore, you know? But look at this place." She gestured around them. "Isn't it perfect? It's not as pretentious-and by pretentious I mean expensive-as a real French restaurant, but you can still order in French, which is always sexy."

"Sexy? There's something sexy about French?"

She laughed. "What planet do you actually live on?"

For a second, he was afraid she was serious. A waiter arrived at the table then, and Bella seemed just as relaxed as ever.

"Oh, do you want any appetizers, monsieur? Mademoiselle?"

Bella looked to Edward, and he waved his hand. "I don't speak French," he lied. He spoke all languages. "I'm fine with anything." This was true. He didn't need food. Even if he did, he was glad he'd said it. Bella's eyes lit up.

She turned to the waiter. "Olives marines au citron and…" She glanced at the menu again and made a squeak of pleasure. "Assiette de fromages. And whatever wine goes best with that."

"As you say, Mademoiselle," the waiter said in a horrible French accent.

Edward propped his head on his hands, watching her as the waiters walked away. She was happy. He didn't need to read minds to see it, and that was an incredible thought. There was so little true happiness in her life, but she was happy here with him. "You were right," he said.

Her nose wrinkled in confusion.

"It was very sexy. You speaking French." He thought they were the right words. It wasn't the French. Not for him. He'd heard millions of languages spoken across many, many galaxies. But there was something in the way she said the words, the pleasure she took in saying them, that changed the way her whole face looked. It was the same effect, he expected.

Bella's face flushed and she ducked her head. "Are you sure you've never done this before?" she asked, squinting at him.

"I know how to tell the truth."

"You really are a quick learner." She smirked as she looked back at the menu. "Do you know what you want?"

"Why don't you order for both of us?"

She looked up, surprised. "Really?"

"It's what one does on a proper date."

"Oh, see? There it is."

Edward tilted his head. "There what is?"

"The big dork without a smooth move in sight. Proper date," she teased. "The last time the man ordered for the woman was probably the seventies, but I appreciate the thought."

"Ah, well. You can still order for us. If you want."

Her eyes lit up. "Are you sure? Because I've always wanted to have the Poulet rôti selon votre commande et pommes frites here, but I never had anyone to share it with."

A tingle went down his spine. The nearness of her, her smile, was intoxicating. Maybe there was something about this particular woman speaking French. He really did like the way her tongue curled around the words. "Say that again," he said, and he wondered why his voice had dropped lower than normal.

Her smile spread slowly up one side of her face. She leaned across the table, and he leaned forward to meet her, drawn to her. She brushed his lips with hers and spoke the words slowly so they vibrated against his skin. "Poulet rôti selon votre commande et pommes frites."

He kissed her, and she kissed back. It was a quick kiss, and she giggled when it broke. "What?" he asked, smiling.

"Nothing. This is just a little surreal." She rested her head on her folded hands, something wicked glinting in her eye. "I feel like I should be twirling my moustache. Is this what it's like to plot to steal some innocent young man's virtue?"

Her words were the proverbial punch to the gut. He was so far from an innocent, virtuous young man.

His smile fell and hers fell in turn, a look of horror spreading across her face. "Oh, Edward. I'm sorry. That was a horrible thing to say. I'm not… This is not about that. I swear. Ugh. That was insensitive."

"No. It's not about that."

"I'm really not trying to push you."

He ducked his head, considering the conversation from a more human perspective. "I'm not sensitive about my sexual experience or lack there of." His lip twitched. "Though Rosalie did say it was unusual for a man my age to not have…" He made a gesture with his hand and wondered why his cheeks heated.

Well, he supposed that was no mystery, but it was somewhat odd. In his watching, he'd seen Bella naked countless times. There was nothing to that. There was nothing inherently sexual about the nude human form. One couldn't help but have a body, and what was that? Flesh over bone, hair, eyes-mere parts, a structure.

Since her first kiss, Edward had tried not to think of this. He understood humanity very well. He understood that sex had been a part of the conversation between Bella and him since the first brush of her lips against his. From that kiss, sex had always been a possibility.

To see Bella that way, to be able to run the pads of his fingers along the lines of her skin, to hear the change in her breath and see her eyes as he touched her-that would be a whole different world. The thrill that went down his spine struck him at his core, and he found he was glad he was seated with the small table between them. He understood the human body as well, but it still surprised him at times how little control he had over it.

"It's rare," Bella said, thankfully oblivious to his thoughts. "But there's nothing wrong with not…" She made the same gesture he had moments before and winked at him. "Not that you need to be told. I guess everyone is just hyper aware of it usually, you know? And you…"

"What about me?"

She flushed but rolled her eyes. "Come on. I can't have been the first person who wanted to kiss you."

If only she knew...but no, he supposed even that wasn't true. In reading the thoughts around him, he'd picked up on a number of stray desires aimed in his direction. "No, I suppose I could have kissed someone before you. If that was what I wanted."

The waiter returned then with their wine and to take their order. As he listened attentively to Bella, Edward heard his thoughts about a woman ordering for a man.

I'd be so embarrassed if I was him. Maybe he's doing it to get laid.

Edward had to hide a smile. Humans and their attachment to gender norms would never not amuse him. He couldn't imagine why it was so important to have an opinion about something as silly as a woman ordering a meal for a man, let alone associating it with a ploy to get sex.

When the waiter had gone, Bella looked back at him, her eyes lingering on his lips before coming back up to his eyes. "Why me?"

That was a deeper question than she could possibly realize. Why her indeed? He opened his mouth and then closed it again, realizing he had no answer. He had no answer for why he had seen her-a tiny human baby, one of seven billion people-and had thought her life more important than any other. He had no answer as to why and how she had done this to him, or why he was letting it continue when it couldn't end well for either of them.

"That's self-centered of me," Bella said, reaching for a roll. "Let me try that again. Forget about me. Why abstain at all? It had to have been a conscious choice. It's not a religious thing, is it? You're not afraid you're going to hell and angels are weeping?"

He laughed, the sound wry. It was a distinct possibility. He'd been mildly surprised that Carlisle hadn't appeared to him yet. He could only hope the higher angel wasn't watching him. Then again, it had been Carlisle who'd pointed out that while the knew and often facilitated the fate of humans, angels had no more idea than any being what life was meant to be. "No," he said. "I am not religious in the slightest."

"Then why?"

"As I said before, it was simply not something I thought about. I've always had other things to do." He let his eyes travel over her. "Though kissing you, Bella, I can see why it's so easy to forget everything else. It's a distracting, consuming thing."

He reached across the table to run his fingers over her knuckles where she held her wine glass. "Regardless of my reasons, I'm glad to have waited. You will forever and always be my first kiss. My first...so much."

Her eyes were wide, her lips parted. It seemed like a good time to kiss her. Kiss her before he told her just how many firsts she was and just how long forever would be for him. He kissed her and she kissed him back until the waiter was beside them, clearing his throat. There was, it turned out, no room for their marinated olives and assorted cheeses if they insisted on being connected at the lips.

~0~

After dinner, they walked back to Bella's car hand in hand.

Until now, all of Bella's romantic life had contained very little in the way of romance. Mostly her trysts were blink-and-you'll-miss-it affairs. A connection sparked between her and a classmate, a co-worker, a guy at the club. Maybe they had a few conversations. One kid at the community college she'd attended briefly had bought her a slice of pizza at the little eatery on campus. Mostly it turned out to be about sex-a heat of the moment connection that ended almost as soon as that initial attraction had been slaked.

Whatever was going on between her and Edward was out of a sappy romantic comedy. The role reversal was novel-Edward being the quirky one and Bella the more experienced.

She watched him as they strolled-him looking around with that expression he sometimes wore like everything around them was something new. There was so much she wanted to show him, to experience with him. Sex, yes. She wanted to be the one to show him how good it could be to share his body with another person, and she suspected sex with Edward would be something new for her too-something more. But beyond sex, she just wanted to be the one to watch him discover all the secrets she knew-the bits and pieces of Seattle that were truly special, the shows and movies she could lose herself in. She wanted to share all of those things with him.

Yeah. Sappy bullshit. Her life had never been the stuff of movies. There was another shoe somewhere waiting to drop.

"Are you okay?"

Bella looked up at Edward and smiled. "Arguing with the voices in my head."

He furrowed his brow. "There are voices in your head?"

She had to laugh. "Figuratively speaking."

"Oh. Right. Yes." He cleared his throat. "What are you arguing about?"

She pulled them to a stop, but didn't look at him. Instead, she played with his fingers. "How did you get out of the system like this?" she asked, her voice a whisper. "How are you so… light?"

"Light." He put an arm around her waist. "I'm light?"

"Yes. Light is the perfect way to describe you." She looked up, her smile sad as she reached for him. Her touch was tentative as she traced the strong line of his jaw, ran her thumb over his lip. "It's in your eyes. Sometimes I look at you, and I think I can see the whole universe in your eyes. And other times, you're just so happy about the simplest things." Pushing onto her tiptoes, she kissed him. "Sometimes I have a hard time believing you're real."

He took her hand and pressed her palm to his lips, kissing her there. Then, he pressed his palm to his chest. She could feel his heartbeat. "I'm real."

Christ, he was intense. "There's got to be something wrong with you."

The corner of his mouth tugged briefly downward. "Well, I am unemployed and somewhat aimless."

"You know, they tell me that should be a big deal, and yet…" She clucked her tongue and chuckled, tugging him along. "Do you want to come over? Strictly for nerd purposes. I want to subject you to either Supernatural or The X-Files next. I promise to keep my hands to myself." She slid her hands down, briefly cupping his ass. "Mostly."

~0~

"Okay." Bella sat down on the couch cross legged, facing Edward. "Now, this is a difficult and important decision for your next fandom experience. First, you have the X-Files. It's classic. It's spooky. It was groundbreaking in its time. Plus, holy crow, Gillian Anderson and David Duchovny. Who wouldn't want to be in middle of that sandwich? Gillian is my original girl crush. It's also making a comeback this year, so that's exciting.

"On the other hand, we have Supernatural. Also spooky. I realize this isn't a draw for you, but damn, these boys are pretty. Plus, Mark Sheppard. Not so pretty, but he's Mark Sheppard. Badger from Firefly. Supernatural is kind of its own X-File, if you ask me. No one watches this damn show, and yet it's going into its eleventh season. I'm pretty sure someone sold their soul to the devil." She clucked her tongue, shaking her head in mock judgment.

"Anyway," she said. "Really, the choice comes down to aliens or angels."

He started and choked on his drink. "Aliens and what?" he asked between coughs.

"Angels." She rubbed his back. "But it's not like a religious thing. Not really. You don't really realize it until season four, but Supernatural is basically Bible fanfic. Angels are dicks."

He seemed to find that funny. "My curiosity is piqued. Supernatural it is."

"Yay." She clapped, excited. She reached for the remote and almost fell off the couch in surprise when someone knocked on her door with gusto.

Bella and Edward both got to their feet. She crossed to door, throwing it open. Jasper rushed in. "Have you seen Peter?"

Taken aback, Bella grabbed him by the arm to still his frantic movement. "Are you... Jesus Christ, Jasper, your nose."

He shrugged her off impatiently. "Have you seen my brother?"

"There is blood pouring out of your nose and you want me to give a shit about Peter right now? What the hell happened?"

"Peter!" Jasper shook his head, irritated.

"Your brother doesn't like me. He's never liked me. Why the hell would I see Peter?"

Jasper groaned and sat down heavily on the couch. "Christ, I'm dizzy." He rubbed his head. "He was with James. I thought they were going to go to the shop. Your shop."

"I wasn't at my shop tonight. Hold on. Let me look at you." She put her hand carefully to his forehead brushing his hair back to look in his eyes. "Christ, Jasper. You really need to get to the hospital. Why did Peter hit you?"

He huffed. "Because he's an asshole." He grimaced as Bella turned his face. There was another bruise on his jaw. "He's getting in deeper, Bells."

Bella looked up at Edward. "I'm sorry. You think you can help me get him in the car? I'll drop you off on the way to the hospital."

Edward didn't answer right away. He studied her, and she thought for sure he was going to insist on staying with her. Instead, he nodded. "Okay."

He stepped over to Jasper. "May I?" he said, reaching out both hands in offering.

Jasper quirked an eyebrow, looking at him quizzically.

"He does this thing. Acupressure. It might make you feel better, though I'm still taking you to the hospital. You probably have a concussion."

"Okay, okay, Doctor Bella."

Bella moved to the side, and Edward pressed his fingers to Jasper's temples. Jasper sucked in a breath. "Oh. Yeah. Wow. That does feel a lot better."

"Still go to the doctor, though," Edward said.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"Thank you," Bella said, kissing Edward. "And thank you for being so cool about this. I'm really sorry."

He looked worried, but he nodded. "Of course, Bella," he said as he moved to help Jasper to his feet.

"I'm fine, man. I mean. I can walk," Jasper said. He took a step as though in demonstration and stumbled a bit, off kilter.

"I'm sure you're capable of walking," Edward said, his tone dry. "However, whether or not you should is debatable." He put Jasper's arm around his shoulder, letting him walk with support.

Shaking her head, Bella followed them out to the car. Just another day in her crazy life.

A/N: Many thanks to MyOnlyHeroin, barburella, and songster for their assistance. Of course I was going to choose Supernatural for the next fandom thing. Hah.

Anyway. What are we thinking, kids?