Summary: Riku is now part of the odd goings-on in his hometown and he has confirmed that a war is gradually working towards a peaking point. Sora has noticed some changes in Riku's patterns and he is just as determined as Riku is to save his home town to understand what is breaking between them. Many people made and make mistakes that have and will leave wounds that may become infected and refuse to heal, or ones that will scar over with the help of a friendly hand.
Themes: There is some romance between Sora and Riku as well as some mention of Axel/Roxas. Friendship in times when it is needed for strength. Adventure in the discovery of who really is the hero of the story. Angst for young men failing to see the light peeking through their dark actions. Hurt/comfort in the loss of lovers, brothers, beauty and pride. And humour, sometimes dark, for a break in all that drama.
Touching Base
Riku took the note Marluxia had written, that was now wrapped neatly in an unmarked envelope, and stuffed it in the pocket inside his Organization coat. It was a shame that Marluxia took a great amount care in writing and sealing the letter; Riku had no intention of delivering it. He supposed it was a trap that Marluxia and Saix had conducted upon finding out Ansem was not his real name and his history was a lie. Marluxia would feign being a traitor and ask Riku to deliver the letter while Marluxia's spies followed in the letter to the king. Then they would kill Mickey and Riku, just for convenience. Because of those suspicions, Riku was nervous about going after Sora. He was anxious about not being able to blow out of Marluxia's office after Sora. Reason said the Organization only took prisoners when there was something in it for them; he had seen that first hand.
Marluxia, Xemnas and his other lapdogs knew that the boy that had been shot in the king's stead was Sora. Not only that but they would know where to find him. He had to walk away from the Organization for a time, hope the noses of guns or spies weren't lifted in his direction eastward. There wasn't much harm affirming what the Organization already knew anyway.
Riku was out the door in three quick strides with Marluxia's words of, "I'll tell Saix you're taking your leave of absence now," drawling behind him.
"I'm sorry! I'm – I'm no good. I th-think I'm just making it worse!" Roxas grated with a voice full of pity serving to both him and his brother.
Roxas held a pair of tweezers; the little instrument was red from pincers to handle and trembling in his limp hand at Sora's side. He felt as clean and clear as the tweezers and thought he should be apologizing to everything he touched. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to clean the tools with boiling water or if rubbing alcohol was enough or maybe too much, he thought maybe iodine or was it iodide? – He had boiled water and run them under rubbing alcohol before kneeling on the kitchen floor.
Sora looked like someone who had spent most of his life in a damp cave. His skin was white, his flesh cool, and his pupils took up most of the blue in his eyes. He had slipped his good hand into Roxas' and never realized that Roxas was barely holding onto himself.
The wound wouldn't have been so bad if Sora hadn't had to run around town, leaving drops of red in the muddy streets. As he was now in wanting of a couple cups of blood, he lost focus of what was going on sometimes, like someone falling asleep while reading a book. He could see the words but he only understood the general plot on the page and all the pretty descriptions and metaphors were lost to lethargy. He knew where he was and that Roxas was with him, and that he felt fear sizzling out of him. He was probably safe.
All his senses went from embers to full body flames when Roxas pushed the tweezers into the tunnel the bullet had made in his arm.
Roxas didn't think his childhood fear of blood and feathers would scare him as much as this. Sora's scream was like the high pitched howl heard in a fast and cold wind.
Riku had reined enough his mind with him to hide the jeep in a cluster of trees outside of Twilight Town, but he had taken no extra clothes with him. He had the choice of going naked into town or entering in the skin of Twilight Town's enemy. Both would get him noticed, one would leave dead, but vanity still won out in a life or death situation.
He noticed changes to the town before he even entered. There was the beginnings of a blockade at the most used path into town, the one Sora and Roxas used to take to school, and it was dotted with the light brown uniforms of the Twilight Town soldiers. Riku decided to try at another less frequented path and was successful in scrambling over a stone wall that had been erected around most of the town. The king had been busy.
He made his way through the suburbs, the houses he passed standing with a grim look in their panes. A window shut with a sudden snap and a hiss from its occupant as Riku jogged by. He didn't flinch at the noise, but he felt the ashes of who he had been stir in its harsh breeze.
He decided he would find Diz, most likely at the school, but Twilight Town's hospital was only a couple streets behind the school so he would stop there first to see if Sora had been admitted. Though Twilight Town was small, Riku felt his stomach twist at the idea of scouring the streets to find his boyfriend amidst all the mud and hostile stares. He hoped that Sora was somewhere warm and with helpful hands to treat him.
He noticed that in some parts of town there were more guards stationed while in others, usually the vacant looking suburbs, there were maybe two or three guards patrolling a large area. He guessed that where the guards were thickest and stillest was where operations and locations important to the Regiment were. He noted that one of these places was his old preschool and he hoped that since the orphanage didn't have guards stationed outside that that was where his brothers and sisters had been moved. There was also a white medic's flag flapping on the roof and he was soothed some.
He crept through some poor person's backyard who had their fence trashed and gardens tramped as he continued on to the hospital. He was only a street from his target when a feeling settled over him. At first it was just the coolness of a shadow and then, as he drew closer, the chill settled into his bones. There were no guards stationed or patrolling the streets surrounding the little hospital and, given that it was wartime, the place should have sounded busy. There was no noise except for the slosh of his feet and eventually they too were silent.
Hesitantly, Riku turned a corner and found the hospital to be dark, broken and unguarded. The only signs of life were the footprints and several tires tracks that could fit the wheels of jeeps and gurneys.
With more speed and less caution, Riku turned away and darted down a street that would take him to his old school. His mind bit through most of its reins as he ran on. When his feet hit the mud his breath went out in a sharp and short gasp.
There were as many guards around the school as there should have been posted outside of the hospital, and no matter what side of the building Riku rounded their numbers were great and solid. Riku was also past the feelings of serenity and patience that inspired finesse. He checked the windows of the school briefly from his perch on the roof of a nearby building and saw no one within, except for an old man sitting at a desk of one of the classrooms.
When the guards seemed the thinnest around the windows by Diz's room, Riku fell to the ground and made a straight line for the old man. The Twilight Town soldiers called him Organization member and ordered him to stop, but his eyes were set on the window where Diz could be seen rising from his desk, alarmed by the yells of his soldiers.
Riku covered his head and face as he threw himself through the window. Catlike he flipped himself onto his feet immediately after sprawling on the floor and let the glass fall from his shoulders as he stood face to face with his old professor.
Diz eyebrows were drawn into a severe v. Riku gathered his mind again and came to realize how scandalized Diz had to feel seeing an Organization member act so boldly and so stupidly as to throw himself through headquarters' window.
Diz's old, rattled nerves lost importance as Riku noticed the stitch in his chest still seared. The glass hadn't pierced him, and the stitch wasn't from running; he was furious, furious and hurt that Diz didn't recognize him at first. So much pain and confusion in him made the worst in him say fine, I am what I am and I guess that's not Riku. Then recognition lit the fires of happy surprise in Diz's eyes.
The old man raised his hands to the soldiers at the windows as he yelled, "Wait! This man is not our enemy! Stand down! Lower your weapons!"
The soldiers seemed uneasy about lowering their guns and remained on guard at the window. Riku turned his head to glower at them and someone gasped.
"Hey, it's Riku!" Hayner said, lowering his gun to point with his finger at the boy standing haughtily before them. Then Hayner seemed to put the clothes before the man and his eyes grew cold and his lips taut with a snarl. "What the fuck? Why are you dressed like that? What the hell is your problem?"
Riku watched impassively, as if through a stranger's eyes, as Hayner attempted to climb through the window only to have Olette grab him by the shoulders and pull him back.
"Hayner! Knock it off. This is Riku you're seeing. He's not one of them!" she cried, swatting Hayner around the ears when he tried to struggle away from her. "He's not one of them, you ass!"
Hayner swore as Olette dragged him from the sill where the remaining glass bit like teeth into his uniform, only agitating him more.
"Well he's not one of us!"
"Hayner!"
"'Hayner'," he mocked, rounding on her to spit his name in Olette's face. Olette flinched and took her hand from his shoulder. She half sneered and half frowned at him. Hayner tore his ashamed eyes from her shocked face as he said, "If he's in their clothes and it's not some sick joke then he's taken on what they stand for. Even if he doesn't believe he's part of them, the Organization does and I bet he's done some pretty horrible things for them. Right?"
Hayner turned to look at Riku with burning eyes and all Riku did to answer was stare unsmiling at Hayner with his back straight.
With a scoff Hayner thrust himself away from the window. Olette seemed torn between following Hayner and staying to lick Riku's wounds. Riku showed no signs of bleeding from Hayner's words, so when he nodded to her she went away, giving him an apologetic, albeit wary, look. Diz waved the other soldiers off and then they stood alone in Diz's classroom turned into office, with bits of window glittering on the floor.
"Riku," Diz said, giving him a searching and slightly apprehensive look. Riku turned to stare at Diz who could only blink at the frigidity of Riku's expression.
"What has happened?" he asked, to which Riku couldn't even fathom a response. Diz should already know what had happened to Sora and why Riku was here. Wouldn't Diz have sent for him to tell him of Sora's state?
When Riku didn't answer, Diz became agitated and clasped his hands behind his back as he walked around his desk.
"Has your cover been blown? Is that why you're here?" he asked worriedly.
"No," Riku said, shaking his head.
"Then you realize that my calling off the guards on you will look suspicious if anyone happens to be watching?" Diz said with raised eyebrows, as if he couldn't believe Riku could be so clumsy. Why didn't he know this wasn't about Riku? This was about Sora, he should know. "You are treading in dangerous waters, Riku."
"Then call me Ansem," Riku said abruptly, making Diz's brows ascend further. Riku continued in a less chilled tone, "I'm not here about Organization matters. I'm here about what happened here today."
"The king is safe," Diz said, turning his face towards the shattered window. The light shone in strongly and made the lines in Diz's face deeper.
"And Sora?"
"Alive somewhere," Diz said with grief inflicting his calm tone. The old man sighed.
"You don't know where?" Riku asked incredulously as panic gripped his heart.
"He ran, Riku, and he was well out of sight by the time he was shot. I only know he's alive by the reports made by patrols."
"Did you tell the heads of the patrols to find and assist Sora?"
Diz sighed again, his shoulders sunk further, and he lowered his head.
"I'm doing the best I can with the little I have," he said wearily. "Leon was far better suited to handle the troops. I am merely need for my insight and intellect, not for leading the young into war."
"You sent me off just fine," Riku said darkly as he looked down at the fragments of glass around his boots. When he looked up Diz was staring at him with a strange intelligence in his eyes. Turning away, Riku said bitterly, "You could have told me about Leon being held captive. I could have set him free and this could have been avoided."
"It is little use in saying so now, but you could not have and must not set him free," Diz said gravely, "To do so would cause an uproar and an inquiry at Organization headquarters. You may be found out."
"I have been found out."
Diz asked made a startled noise in the back of his throat. He collected himself and asked with the hints of anger and suspicion in his voice, "Explain it to me, Riku."
Riku drew the letter from his jacket and passed it to Diz.
"There's a man named Marluxia who's head of the information sector at the Organization and he's got a file on me, the real me," Riku explained, his voice coming out more angry than scared, "He wanted me to deliver that letter to the king."
"That I cannot allow," Diz said with a poignant and heated glance. Riku swallowed his retort about not trusting Marluxia. Diz turned his attention back to the letter, glowered at the words Marluxia had written and did nothing more than toss it on his desk. He would only pick it up again to burn it. He shook his head at Riku as if the letter was a report card and he was disappointed with the grades between the folds. Riku remained still, silent and angry.
In a tone filled with cold and calculated venom, Diz said, "What you are asking for this man is unacceptable. No matter what this Marluxia desires, be it a place among us or to connive against us, it cannot be allowed. You have no idea what Xemnas and his closest men as capable of."
"I've got a pretty good idea," Riku muttered. He held Xion's image in his eyes. The livid lines in Diz's face softened to a tiresome sadness.
"What you have seen is not the worst," Diz said solemnly, "Xemnas wants greatly and cherishes none, not even his closest subordinates. He turns dreadful people into even worse soldiers who want nothing more than to freeze the world to the same temperature as their hearts."
Diz seemed to trail off into his own memories as he spoke. His old eyes closed and his head turned away from the young man standing at the edge of his desk. Riku took in a deep breath; he couldn't decide whether he was furious or empathetic. Either way, he didn't want to be here in this man's presence. Diz had no information on Sora and didn't seem like he was about to call together a search party. While Diz daydreamed Riku snorted and headed for the door in a clipped stride. This roused Diz who stared after Riku's back and asked, "What do you plan to do? I suppose you can't go back to the Organization with the head of the information sector aware of you."
"I will go back but not until Sora's found and I'm sure he's safe again. That is what is important right now," Riku said, turned at the door to glare and frown at Diz. In a chilling tone he said, "I don't know what Marluxia wants or if Saix or Xemnas knows about me but I'm not leaving Leon there the way you...never mind"
"Riku, wait," Diz pled and his footsteps echoed after Riku, "If Xemnas is aware of who you are then he will press you for information until you are broken at his feet. And if it gets out that you and I have connections-"
"Then my pain will be doubled?" Riku said forebodingly. He scoffed as he opened the door and said, "It's because Saix hates you and right now, tch, I can understand why."
Diz made a fearful noise in the back of his throat and fumbled over the beginning of a question when he was silenced, and Riku surprised, by Kairi standing right outside Diz's door. Her hand was outstretched towards the knob and her face was distorted by fury until she did a double take and recognized Riku. With an ecstatic and relieved yelp she threw her arms around him. He was happy to see Kairi but the panic over Sora's state and whereabouts was wearing him down to a strained, little ball of anxiety.
"Kairi, I'm sorry, I have to go find Sora-"
"I know! That's why I'm here," she said, releasing Riku and turning to Diz with fury flush in her features again. "Sir, why has my jeep been dispatched? I said I needed it."
"You failed to specify why you needed it, though I now have my answer," Diz said with a tired nod in her direction. He was getting tired further by listening to youthful tirades. He leaned on his desk and explained, "I am apologetic to the both of you, but there were outbreaks of fighting in town today which brought up the need for the medics and jeeps. None of us have the time for searching now."
"But I know where Sora is and don't act surprised," she nearly snarled, which shocked Riku. Times had gotten hard if Kairi had this short a fuse. She gave Diz a withering look which actually seemed to wither the man, and she said through a frown, "I sent a message to you almost an hour ago. Why does nobody seem to get these things? This is Xion all over again!"
Angry Kairi's power ended with stunned silence and her own surprise at what had dropped from her mouth. Riku pushed away all his melancholy and hate and turned to Kairi.
"I have a jeep."
Diz once again closed his old eyes, but said nothing as they fled the room.
Kairi wasn't able to come with Riku after all. Diz was right in the way that there was a great deal of soldiers wounded after the day's fighting, and even Kairi's quaky hands were needed. Riku couldn't wait for her to finish with the overflow, and he had already lost time on Diz and by the numerous and frustrating times he and Kairi had been stopped in the streets due to his uniform.
Kairi was able to give Riku some basic supplies and quick instructions of how to use them, as well as a Twilight Town Regiment uniform. He was hesitant to put it on in case Marluxia had actually not told anyone about Riku's true loyalties and he was giving himself away by dressing in the uniform that should have been his from the start. Kairi listened to his fears and she said he could either be captured by his own people or risk being seen by his enemies. For the sake of time, he put on the uniform and as he cast off the dark clothes he felt closer to home than he had in months. Some of his agitation slipped away and the drive to find Sora stood before all other emotions.
It only took Riku a few minutes to drive most of the way to Sora's farm. He had to run the last kilometre in order hide the Organization's jeep.
Riku was panting as he mounted the stairs and his heart that beat so fast with his running across the lea, stopped to listen as a pained scream shot from the farmhouse.
"Sora!" Riku bellowed as he forgot his common courtesy for the first time and threw open the screen door without invitation. The floorboards groaned under his boots as another lower pitched and shorter moan directed him to the kitchen. Roxas could also be heard shakily coaxing and soothing his brother. The fearful daydream that Roxas was on his knees pleading with the corpse of his brother to stay awake wiped Riku's brain blank and all he saw was white before rounding the corner.
Riku entered the kitchen with a startling presence, causing Roxas to jump and Sora to cry out as his brother's hand slipped at its work. Sora had his hand digging into his brother's shirt, seeming to pull his little brother closer but distanced him enough to prevent the tweezers from being put to his wound.
Roxas twisted his head around the best he could to see if it was who he thought it was entering his kitchen. He felt relief cool him as he recognized a much changed Riku. Black cloaked, bloodless hands and lips that looked stained in comparison. Riku blinked, made to move closer and paused with his mouth open.
Roxas made a noise in his throat and immediately after the utterance, felt shame for the tears in his eyes and the nervous dots of blood on the floor around him. He shouldn't appear to be crying over blood, and he wasn't. Every time Sora cried out or flinched Roxas felt a spasm start in his stomach and spread throughout his body. Sora didn't swear or yell obscenities as him, but Roxas felt like every wordless scream was a tooth on his nerves. Roxas rubbed his face along his shoulder, appearing to dry sweat and discreetly dispatch tears.
"What can I do?" Riku finally said, his voice ringing a little thin.
Roxas was already set in his ways and perhaps a bit hysteric, so he told Riku to come hold Sora still while he gave the final pull.
Sora, though his upper body wriggled and his feet kicked feebly, was out of it. He didn't seem able to comprehend Riku's presence with all his energy focused on the pain in his shoulder. Nonetheless, Riku took Sora's hand from Roxas' shirt into his own and pressed himself over Sora's midsection to keep the boy from moving.
He watched as Roxas' shaking and bloodied hands pulled the bullet out of the red eye of the wound. Sora nearly popped his fingers off with the amount of pressure he squeezed Riku's hand with. While Sora let out one last throaty scream, Riku gently but sternly turned Sora's face his way and let the boy's cry be dulled by his chest. He flinched as teeth bit into him right below his collar bone.
With a barely audible squelching noise and a dull, metallic thud Roxas dropped the bullet onto the sullied kitchen floor and fell back against the wall, his chest heaving and eyes and cheeks raw looking.
"There," he said, gesturing lamely at the little bit of metal that had caused all three of them pain, "it's out. It's done. I'm done."
Roxas had meant it when he said he was finished. He knew Sora would need something done to his arm, be it stitches or bandaging, but he wasn't going to do it. His nerves were twitchier than his fingers and he couldn't listen to his brother scream anymore. His dilemma was he didn't want to let Sora out of his sight. He had done that once today and it would leave a stain on the kitchen floor that he would have to cover up with the kitchen table when he had the stamina to give a damn.
So while Riku went about assessing Sora's wound and cleaning it with the little vials of sweet and bitter smelling ointments, Roxas put himself to work by boiling more water and cleaning the floor the best he could. The blood became thin and the suds pink as he washed, but he kept his eyes on the task and scrubbed harder to fill his ears with the shush shuck noise of the scrub brush and drown out Sora's groggy mews.
Sora had blacked out as the bullet was extracted and, thankfully, stayed that way while Riku stitched the wound with imprecision. There would no doubt be a scar and Riku was already worrying about how he would feel having to look at it every time Sora stood shirtless before him. In their most intimate of moments Riku would spot it and feel guilt ache in a spot very near to where Sora's scar would be on his own body.
Riku nodded as Roxas offered to put a cloth with clean water on the wound to wipe away the blood.
Sora hissed as the hot water made contact with his skin.
"Sorry," Roxas mumbled and sat on his knees.
Sora's eyes opened at the sound of his brother's voice and he craned his head in search of him. With barely any energy left, Sora blinked wearily at his younger brother who smiled softly in return.
Sora's gaze turned from his brother to peer curiously down at his hand that was being held. Dopily he watched someone's calloused thumb run a soothing course over his wrist. He thought it would be Kairi just because he had seen the light brown of the Twilight Town Regiment's uniform during his frenzied writhing. When he realized it was Riku caressing his hand he felt tears press at his eyes and it seemed as though Riku felt likewise as his green eyes shone brightly.
Riku put Sora's fingers to his lips and told him not to move. He guessed that Sora wouldn't stay awake long but they had a handful of seconds now to let slip idly through their clasped hands. He planned on visiting Sora when he could given how pale and weak he looked now. Roxas would need to stay close by his brother while he healed and Riku would make time to get supplies from Twilight Town when needed. He had noticed the piles of food, lanterns and blankets in the hallway, but he doubted they had Naminé's antiseptics, salves or ointments.
It was hard for him to describe with a single word, but being around Sora made him feel more himself. He felt guilty that he had let this happen to a non-combatant but while Sora smiled dopily through his pain, he felt like some of the cracks in his reflection were being filled and smoothed. Some of his self-doubt and shame over the things he had done lingered in the shadows of his heart.
Sora shivered and his lips looked blue so Riku pulled his Organization coat from the bag of supplies and laid it on the boy. Riku thought maybe he would enjoy the uniform more if Sora spent a night sleeping in it. Sora lazily blinked his thanks at Riku.
"How does it feel to be an idiotic hero?" Riku murmured through Sora's chilled fingers. He swore he could see his breath every time he breathed on them.
"You would know," Sora chuckled breathily. His laugh caused him to blanch and he checked his first reply by saying, "It feels like I'm going to puke."
"Yeah, I get that too," Riku said with a smile and he lowered his forehead to Sora's.
Sora whispered in his ear, "Is Roxas listening?"
Riku peeked over at the blond boy now crouched in the corner of the kitchen and gazing out the door to the window where the sun was setting.
"No, I think he's daydreaming."
"Good, 'cause I needed to tell you something," Sora said, his eyelids looking rather dark and heavy against his bloodless skin. In a sigh that predicted sleep like soft grumbles in the sky predicting rain, Sora said, "The king he's not...the king."
"I know," Riku said soothingly, thumbing away teary residue from Sora's eye. "I've known all along."
"Then why is he helping Twilight Town?"
"He's an old friend of Diz's and he doesn't think the Organization is right in attacking us," Riku muttered, kept running his fingers over Sora's face, felt happy jolts in the tips as he did so. "You have to keep this a secret you know. You can't tell anyone about the king. The war would only escalate if Mickey's kingdom openly declares their part in the war."
"I know...that's why I did this. So he would be safe...and you, for you," Sora said with his eyes sliding closed. He missed the frown on Riku's face and the tears shimmering around the red lids. The tears fell on Sora's face and his eyes threatened to flutter open but Riku quickly dammed them by scrunching his features and pressed his lips to Sora's.
With their lips still touching Riku murmured, "I love you."
Sora moaned out similar words as he settled into an easy slumber. Riku took this moment while Roxas was still looking away to wipe his eyes and give a final kiss to Sora's forehead. He rested Sora's hand gently on the floor and walked over to talk to Roxas.
He wasn't sure what Roxas knew about Riku's current situation or Sora's. He would most likely have to tell at least one lie. With Sora's peace he felt he could lie without sounding misleading or angry.
"It shouldn't be like this," Riku said, honestly enough.
"He shouldn't be sleeping?" Roxas asked fearfully.
Riku chuckled but given the atmosphere of the room and the bloodstained floor, he feared it sounded sarcastic.
"I don't think you could stop him even if you wanted to. Sleeping his problems away is probably the best way for him to heal right now," Riku paused and fixed Roxas with a determined gaze. In a much graver tone he continued, "Sora shouldn't have been at the registration office."
Roxas gave him an odd look and Riku just stared out the window to hide anything his eyes might give away. He wasn't sure if Roxas looked upset or suspicious since his face was barely animated thanks to shock.
Then in a strangled whisper Roxas spoke.
"What? You don't think Sora could handle himself?"
Relieved that Roxas had taken the bait Riku replied back maybe a little too overzealously.
"Don't be ridiculous, Roxas. I know that Sora can take care of himself. What I'm saying is that he shouldn't have to join either side because he's not part of either."
Roxas sighed from somewhere deep in his heart where his fears continued to breathe, "Maybe not physically, like actually in any borders, but he's certainly a part of your life," with a knowing look directed at Riku that shook the roots of his affection for Sora and Roxas, he added tiredly, "He'd follow you anywhere, Riku."
Here in this sad, little farmhouse where the rusty scent of blood pervaded the kitchen, Riku started to feel something more than contempt for Axel's situation, if only for Roxas' sake.
It wasn't fair to either of the brothers who could do little more than watch no matter how they felt about their boys that were in danger every day. If Riku had been in Roxas' situation he would have chosen to follow the one he loved, although he never had a blood relative. Still, he had left his adopted brothers and sisters and he couldn't imagine loving kin anymore than he did them.
Riku stared shrewdly at Roxas, wondering if the strained boy whose skin looked grey in the fading sun was worried about what tomorrow's sun would bring and in what light he would see Axel.
"Fine but where's that leave you and Axel?" Riku asked quietly with a sombre smile.
With a heavy sigh that Riku thought would shake tears from Roxas' eyes, the blond replied, "It's the same for us as it is for you and Sora. We want what's best for ourselves and each other. I'd come through for Axel like he'd come through for me."
Riku was almost afraid to ask but he hoped that some comfort would come from talking about what was worrying Roxas.
"And if Sora runs after me and you run after Axel, where's that leave you and Sora?"
Roxas didn't answer, save for lowering his head onto his knees.
Riku was just about to apologize and tell Roxas to forget his question, that if the time ever came when they had to decide they would think of something or that Riku was willing to sacrifice, but Roxas burrowed his head further into his arms and let out a watery sigh.
"You were right," he whispered without raising his head, "it's not that simple. It never fucking was, not after the war started, stupid!"
"Roxas..." Riku began but he wasn't sure what to say because he believed every weighted word Roxas said.
Roxas continued to curl in on himself, the sunlight barely reaching him as he leaned father back against the wall. Feeling his own heart was being constricted, Riku was moved to sympathy. He reached out his hand and rubbed Roxas' shoulders until the boy's head was coaxed out of it shell.
"Hey, it's not easy but I promise you that I am trying to find a way to end this...as I'm sure Axel is," Riku said, his voice growing a little strained on his last few words.
Roxas' head lifted from his knees and he looked at Riku with stunned and dripping eyes. Surprisingly, Riku didn't feel embarrassed to be looking at Roxas while tears rolled down his cheeks. Perhaps it was he looked just like Sora, but even he hadn't seen Sora cry often. Maybe he wasn't unnerved because both Sora and Roxas had so much to do with the warm and comforting sides of the heart, or maybe it was just his heart that felt for both boys.
Timidly Roxas smiled and as if he realized that he too wasn't ashamed by his tears, he stopped pawing at them and let the last tumble uninterrupted from his face.
Riku stayed the night at Sora and Roxas', spending most of his time chatting with Roxas since Sora had been carried into the living room to sleep on in a nest of pillows and blankets on the floor. Riku and Roxas sat in the kitchen where they could keep an eye on Sora, but were far enough away not to be heard when murmuring and giggling.
They reminisced on when they were younger about how they would play in the creek during the dry summer and keep to the safer fields in the spring and winter. They laughed at the numerous times Roxas got stuck in trees because he had followed Axel up, or at how Axel often beat Riku in races due to his extra inches in leg. Roxas joked that Riku's dislike for Axel came from believing that the redhead only seemed to be leading Roxas into trouble and that Riku was upset about being bested. Riku chuckled at the thought but felt a couple prickles of honesty in his pride.
Roxas put a hand over his mouth to snuff his laughter while Riku regarded him with a disapproving look.
"You'll wake Sora if you keep it up, hyena," Riku scolded.
Roxas sputtered out one more giggle before he sighed contentedly.
"Yes, mommy," Roxas ribbed and Riku shot him another stern look that only made Roxas giggle some more.
Catching his critical expression in the window pane set against the night sky, Riku couldn't help but agree with, albeit begrudgingly, that he did don a motherly expression now and again.
"I suppose it's alright that you consider me family," Riku said, turning from his reflection, "but I think I'd rather a different placement."
"I thought since Sora's not feeling too well he could have the daddy title," Roxas shrugged, "otherwise I'd just have you guys fight over it. It's not really a fair match right now."
"Fine, that's fair," Riku said with a grin as he leaned on the table, "but I was thinking 'brother' would be a spot I'm willing to fill."
Roxas' chuckles died in the airless seriousness of Riku's voice. The boys shared a smile before Roxas' eyes took on a mischievous glint.
Out of the corner of his mouth Roxas' voice slithered playfully across the table, "You don't have to ask. You can have it."
"I never thought I did have to ask. I think all my years putting up with you and your brother have earned me a place here. You're as much my brother as Leon is."
"I knew that but I think if you want to be my brother-in-law you're gonna have to ask someone else for that place."
Riku had been through quite a bit those last few months but none of the events had made him choke on the air he was going to use to retort. Roxas' laughter was renewed as Riku's usually stoic face burned red.
There was serious discussion mingled amidst the jibes and laughs. With Riku's Organization coat blanketing Sora, Roxas couldn't help but ask questions. Riku deflected a great deal of them but answered some that didn't draw blood when he withdrew the memory.
Eventually they both joined Sora in sleep, Roxas taking the couch and Riku curling his body against Sora's uninjured side. For Riku the morning came too soon. He had to pick his bones off the floor and reorganize himself again. He really had to leave, in fact he should have gone back to Twilight Town last night to send for Naminé to take a look at Sora's wound. When he woke up that morning his cheek was on fire because Sora had leaned his forehead. The wound didn't look right either, not that a bullet hole ever looked right in a person's body. The red eye that Roxas had blanched at yesterday now looked like a swollen and weeping eye and the haphazard stitches looked like eyelashes that curled in instead of out.
As Riku prepared to set out for Twilight Town, dressed in his Regiment uniform with his Organization outfit hidden in his bag, he caught Roxas watching him from the landing of the second floor. Roxas had his arms folded and his lip was crooked on his face as he slowly descended the stairs.
"So..." Roxas began, obviously uncomfortable about something. He straightened up when Riku said nothing and spoke again, "So, Riku, what will happen when Axel comes back from the training camp? Will you stop being an undercover agent?"
"No, I'll continue on there as long as I can," Riku answered as he finished lacing his boots.
"But Axel knows you and I'm not saying he would give you away..."
"If he's as good a soldier as everyone at the Organization keeps cooing over then he would," Riku said, causing Roxas to stare thunderstruck.
"He's a friend first before a soldier," Roxas said sadly as he hung on the banister like a wet blanket.
"I'm in a different platoon and a different rank than Axel so I shouldn't see much of him," Riku paused with his hand on the door as a thought struck him. He stared at Roxas who looked warily back at him, and he wondered if he should say what was on his mind.
"What?" Roxas asked, his brows furrowing and lips frowning.
"The place I'm most likely to see him is here."
"So you're saying I should leave him out in the cold? Geez, Riku, he's my best friend not a dog."
"Just until Sora's better. I don't want to have to worry about creeping around your house while trying to get Sora back on his feet. It should only take a week."
Roxas continued to frown but slowly nodded his consent as he said, "I'll try but...he's got a will of his own. And I haven't seen him in a long time."
Riku looked him up and down once more before stepping outside into the dark morning.
"I'll trust you to know what you're doing, I guess."