Note: I'll do better updating throughout the week, a lot is about to happen in the story!
The next morning I was found unconscious in a pool of my own blood in the center of the pit. I didn't wake up until the following day.
There was an invisible hand pushing my mind underwater, drowning it. Air was coming to my lungs but my brain struggled to comprehend. As my consciousness returned I could hear voices. Eventually my mind surfaced to reality, allowing me to pair names with voices and understand their words. I refused to open my eyes.
"She couldn't have been attacked by an initiate, the cameras show that they were all in bed at the time," Four's voice said.
"Who else would have it out for her though?" Eric challenged. "More bones in her body were broken than not, and all that blood… she's lucky to be alive."
Lucky to be alive, I thought, I don't know about that. With my eyes still shut, I started to speak, "This is a message from him, a message telling you that you will never be free." I opened my eyes; the light felt like it was stabbing my brain. "Those are the last words I heard."
I looked around the room. Eric, Four and Max were the only faces I recognized, but they weren't the only ones there. I looked right at Four, we both knew there was only one person who could have sent that message.
"Did I miss training? The final test? Am I Factionless?" I questioned with a moment of panic.
"No," said Eric. "You're not Factionless but you did miss some training. Do you think we would really make you Factionless after watching you with Marcus? Him on the ground was probably the best thing I ever saw." Everyone in the room chuckled in appreciation. "Besides, that would have been impressive if he was only him, but we've all seen your simulations, he isn't just a corrupt leader, he is your biggest fear and abuser. It took real courage and bravery to see him again, to stand up to him."
"Well, look what it got me," I said with an eye roll and gesturing to the infirmary bed I was in. Surprisingly I was only sore, it didn't look like I had anything broken anymore and everything seemed to be able to move, they must of used some Erudite magic healing on me.
"So we can assume who is responsible for the attack," cautioned Max, "but who actually attacked you?"
"I don't remember, I just remembered many hands grabbing me, shoving me, hitting me. The pain was so bad that I stopped feeling things." I paused; there were a lot of people looking at me. I realized that meant a lot of people knew the secrets of my past. "When can I get back to training?"
A smile formed on Four's face, "soon."
Now that I was awake, the people in the room started to file out. I counted fifteen people leave, fifteen. Why were so many people here, I am not even Dauntless yet, just an initiate. My stomach gave a little squirm. Initiates die, get hurt, become Factionless-it's no big deal. Too many people were paying attention to me…why?
One word seared in my brain: divergent. But it couldn't be, I told myself. They can't know. I've done a good job hiding it. I haven't manipulated any simulations yet and even a couple of times I prolonged the torture of being in the simulation to give me a longer time under its influence. Of course, I was still the top of the class but someone had to be.
I sat up straighter. There were still three people in the room, Four, Eric and another man. He had beautiful dark skin, huge intimidating arms but warm, homey eyes. I've seen him around before but I didn't know him. His warm eyes reminded me of someone, Uriah.
"How bad was it?" I asked to no one in particular.
"We weren't sure you were going to make it," responded Four in a quite but professional voice.
"But you fought, like usual," smirked Eric.
I tried to hide my smile, I know I shouldn't have been so pleased with myself and I really shouldn't care what Eric thought.
"We're going to take turns keeping watch. It seems like you have a hit against you and no one messes with Dauntless," informed Eric.
I looked at his with puzzled eyes, "That isn't necessary."
"Two days ago you were almost murdered," scolded Four.
"And Abnegation does not have the right to dictate what happens within our compound. If someone comes back, we need to teach them a lesson," preached Eric.
I gave up. The first person who stood watch was the man I didn't know. He introduced himself as Zeke; he was Uriah's older brother. We talked with ease. I dreaded to see him exchange with Four because the light-hearted chatter was sure to be replaced with painful revelations.
"I'm so sorry," was the first thing out of Four's mouth when we were alone.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," I said shaking my head.
"I told you he couldn't get you here. I said I would be there for you," His face was in his hands out of frustration. "Why can't he just, just stop?"
Four's chair was close enough to my bed that I was able to reach out and place my hand on his knee. I was trying to be comforting but the moment I touched him a tingle went through my body. I quickly removed my hand and instead turned my body to sit on the edge of the bed looking at him.
"He's a sick man," I said. "He will get what he deserves one day." I waited a few moments and gained courage, "Why were there so many people here before? I know that the attack on me has become a representation of an attack against all Abnegation but…" I let my words trail.
"I think something is changing. Erudite and Dauntless are too close. Eric said that Abnegation can't be calling the shots here, I think it's because Erudite already is. I can only assume this attack added fuel to the fire."
"If the fire is hatred against Abnegation, what is the endgame?" I asked.
"I'm not sure, but from what I have found while working in the control room, they want to eradicate Divergent and end Abnegation," concluded Four. He was staring right in my eyes. Our faces only had about a foot of air between each other. Eradicate Divergent. I couldn't think. I ran away from my abuser to be hunted by many? Would I ever truly be free?
"Why do they want to eliminate divergent?" I asked hoping it wouldn't be suspicious.
"According to Erudite," he said while still maintaining eye contact, "divergent are dangerous to the entire system. They can't fit into a category, thus can't be controlled. Their minds work in too many ways. Sound like anyone you know?"
"No," I said quietly looking away from him.
"You mean you don't know anyone who is brave, selfless, smart, and kind? Someone who seems to survive and thrive when it seems like they should fail?"
"Are you part of the hunting party, Four?" I said not looking at him.
"No," He said, "I believe to be a complete person we should strive to have some part of every faction. I want to be brave, smart, kind, selfless and honest. Kind and honest are a struggle for me though," he chuckled.
I looked back at him. He was still looking at me. It made me blush. Why would someone so handsome be looking at me? He was so sure of himself. I try to be confident, at times I can still talk myself into believing in myself but then other times I crumble to pieces. I'm so vulnerable, with my past and my divergence, it's frustrating. I'm not sure how long we stared at each other. But the more I looked at him the more I started to realize what I was feeling: desire for him.
Someone opening the door forced us to break out of our gazes. It was Eric, taking the next shift. Four got up without saying anything else. I didn't want him to go. He knows what I've been through, he knows what I am, he knows me. We barely talk but our connection is so deep. It's confusing and unrealistic. It scared me but I wanted to get to know him and as embarrassing as this sounds, I wanted to touch him.
Eric took Four's seat. I moved further back on my bed, knowing my cheeks were still flushed. I looked away from him. I started to think about Four, about my divergence, about the possible war, about how I just desperately wished to be a normal Dauntless initiate. I was encased in worry and it showed.
"Stop that," Eric said shattering the perfect silence.
Being torn away from my thoughts by the sound of his voice, I looked over to asked, "What?"
"Stop chewing on your lip, holding yourself so delicately with you arms and looking they way you do right now, stop all of it."
"Uh, okay?" I said questioningly. I unwrapped my arms and tried to relax my face. I looked at his face, his stare was hard, not full of warmth like Uriah's or concern like Fours.
The nurse came in and looked me over one more time. She said I should take it easy but was free to go. Eric walked out of the room with me in complete silence. His face was so controlled but I felt like something was brewing behind it. I tried to ignore him but every so often on the long walk back to the pit I would glance up at him.
Out of nowhere he pushed me into a dark room. My back was against the wall and his body was against mine. One of his hands was on my face, the other on my waist. Our faces only inches apart. Being so close to him caused the blood in my veins to move faster.
"At first you were just a fun toy to play with," he started. "I thought that you were going to be out after the first round but you surprised me-I realized that you worked harder than the others with extra workouts. I thought the fear of stage two would wreck you but you were exceptional in the simulations. Your times made me curious, so I watched your simulations-my job requires it- your fears seemed to be more like memories. And wouldn't you know, your worst fear showed up in Dauntless. How you stood up to him, how you threatened him with that song in your sweet, sweet voice… Then just now, biting your lip, hugging yourself and scrunching up your eyebrows… you're so hot…"
Waiting for no response from me, Eric's lips met mine-hard. His left hand held my face in place while the other traced the curve of my hip. After a moment of surprise, my lips responded to him and my body reacted by pushing itself even closer to him. I could feel him smirking but I didn't care, I wanted more. His teeth got my lower lip; the pain was quickly replaced with more desire. No matter how much I reacted, his mouth always had dominance over mine. My whole body felt hot. I had never been touched this way before and it tore my mind away from all my fears. All I could do was feel what was happening right then, in that moment. It was all so intoxicating and overwhelming. His hands were roughly feeling my body causing a moan to escape my mouth. It embarrassed me but only seemed to encourage him. After who knows how long he pulled away from me.
"You are a great little initiate," he said, "but you're dangerous."
He left me alone in the dark room. I slide against the wall to sit down. My skin tingled with excitement. Who knew my body could feel so good? Who knew that kissing could help me forget all the bad.
What did I do? I probably just made out with the man that was leading the hunt to seek out my divergence.