Before the Storm

by CozItRunsInMyBlood

*INSPIRED BY TRUE STORY* Drabble: It was her fault. Everything was her fault. Even the global warming – it was her fault. This was how I convinced myself how it was okay to do the wrong that I was doing. It was how I justified my acts. It was what made me able to look at myself in the mirror. It was how I told myself that it was alright to be a cheater.

10. Chapter 10

~BtS~

With every strike of lightning

Comes a memory that lasts

~BtS~

Carrying Bella to our bedroom and putting her in bed became a routine, something that – like her condition said – we did every night.

For some reason, as the days followed and more night passed, carrying her wasn't as awkward as it used to be, it become much easier, it was almost like as if she was losing weight since she became even lighter in my arms and … and something was happening inside my chest. Something was happening in my heart.

Something serious was happening that by the second week I almost accused her of playing games because something was changing in my feelings towards her. I … – I felt as if I started looking forward to every new night when I would carry her to bed, smell her sweet scent that I missed so much and feel her warmth that I craved for months and months. I felt as if … as if my heart still held something for her. Something big.

And I disliked it.

It was messing with my mind. I'd already decided that I didn't love Bella anymore. I'd already decided that I would leave her and being close to her that often made me start questioning if I was making the right decision. That's why I wanted to tell her to stop with her games, but I didn't … it wasn't Bella's nature, I knew her so well, she was always straight forward.

The ninth night – not like I was counting – and as we watched TV, I saw Seth yawning and I thought I should put him in bed.

"C'mon, Buddy. Bed time!" I said.

"No, Daddy, it's time to carry Mommy!" he replied, and I was taken aback by his answer, it was like seeing us doing something like that made him happy. And – I wasn't one to deny him anything.

When I looked at Bella, she was smiling a smile that brightened her pale face and confusingly tired features, apparently happy with what Seth said – though I had no idea why.

This time when I carried her, I couldn't help but to put my nose a little bit closer to her head and I inhaled deeply, taking the sweet scent of her hair in, realizing that I'd missed it. So much.

Her closeness was another story. It made that spot in my heart that still cared for her to swell and grew bigger, and I knew one thing: this had to stop.

~BtS~