A/N: Sorry for the delay ... my Beta has been busy ... she writes her own stories.,... although not twilight but fun slash stories about boys who will not be named here in case any of you still have any resembalence of a innosence ... Ok so this is like 3050 words or something so it's long... and here we have a love letter by yours truly and an angry Edward, a stupid Jacob ... everything as it should be and a very confused Nessie ... :D Okay so ... read and then REVIEW ! OR I'll never write anything else for you ... :
Disclaimer : I do not own any of these characters or the story before ... I don't really own this plot either because it's sort of just mix of the twilight saga and other great fantasy books... Enjoy anyway ...
Love Vanessa.
Chapter 9
RPOV
"Hello?"
"Hi, Seth. Please talk to me. Hear what I have to say."
"Oh, Ness, it's so good to hear from you. Can you come and fix Jake because he's like going mad. He was going to leave. But we stopped him. But he's like depressed. What happened? Did he hurt you?"
"No! Seth, don't say stuff like that. We just had a very big fight. It ended with me throwing him out of the house and telling him we were through."
"But you aren't, are you? You still love him and want him back?"
"Yes and that's why I called you. I need your help with something. I'm taking Billy's advice out of respect and leaving Jake be until Sunday afternoon. But I don't want him to forget or think I meant what I said. So I need you to give him a letter from me and stand over him and make sure he reads it but doesn't throw it away. I need him to read it."
"Will do, Ness, but where do you want to meet me?"
"Can you meet me at Grandpa's?"
"Charlie's it is. I'm going to drive so I'll be like 5 minutes. Are you going to be there then?"
"Yes, can do. See ya."
JPOV
"Seth, go away! I want to be alone."
"Well, your girlfriend doesn't want you to be alone!"
What! Has he spoken to her? What's going on? I ran and opened the door.
"Seth, what do you mean! She hasn't been here, has she? And if you haven't noticed she isn't my girlfriend anymore."
"Stop babbling about nothing, I have a message for you."
"Well, deliver it and then leave."
"No can do, boss. I have to stay here and watch you read it and make sure you don't throw it away."
"Just let me have it."
"It's a letter ... I think there is a poem in there. Promise you won't throw it away or tear it, if you will I will take that as you directly hurting Nessie."
He knows I don't want that. I want her to be happy and whole. I wouldn't dream of tearing her apart voluntarily.
"I won't. Let me have it."
Jacob Black
Don't leave me honey
I love you so much
I'm so sorry, I said
I shouldn't have said it all
It was mean and untrue
But I was so scared
For my fragile heart
I know you hate me
At least for now
But I want you back
Please can you love me?
I beg for your forgiveness
I beg to see you
I'm only leaving you to be
Because they told me you needed time
If you don't answer by tomorrow
I'll come running for you
I'll drag you out and crawl for forgiveness
Because I want an answer, even if it's no
I can't stand being from you
And that's why I'm writing this all
I want you to know I love you so much
And I'm not giving up on you
I'm just giving you space but soon I'll see you
And it will help me live-
'cause right now I'm dying, a slow death
I miss you so much it hurts
Please take the time to read this
And please don't throw it away
I need you so much it pains me to stay away
With Love, desperate, hopeful, powerful, strong, lovely love
YOUR Nessie 3
What have I done? I have to get her back now! I have to go see her.
"Seth, get out of my way."
"Why, you're not going anywhere."
"I need to go see her. I want her, I need her! Seth let me go or I swear to God, I'll hurt you."
"Jake, I'll let you go but please can Paul and Sam go with you most of the way? They want you to stay, not disappear."
"Okay, but I'm going right now."
I was sitting in the living room of the big family house. Mom and Dad, Grams and Grandpa CC were the only ones home but Dad and I were the only ones downstairs. Jazz and Emm were out hunting but Ali and Rose were shopping.
"Ness, are you expecting Jacob?" Dad said all of a sudden.
"No, if you haven't noticed, he's mad at me and not talking to me. Why? IS he here?" Yes, but why? Why now? Maybe the letter showed him something. But maybe he's just here to tell me he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore.
"Nessie honey, stop worrying. He's almost at the house now. No one is at the cottage if you want to be alone. But I want you to call me in 10 minutes or I'll come for you. I don't trust his ability to keep you safe and unhurt anymore."
"Okay, Dad. Thank you."
I walked outside and saw two wolves, not of the color I was expecting. They were Sam and Paul. But just two steps behind them was Jacob.
"It's okay, guys. You can go now. I won't go anywhere now. Please, believe me. I'm not leaving. You both know how it is, I CAN'T leave her. Now go."
What is he talking about? He left me the other day. And why should he be unable to leave me? And why are they watching him in the first place?
The wolves left and Jake was now alone standing in front of me. He was looking at the ground next to his feet. Then he was looking at my feet. Then his eyes gradually moved up, until he reached my eyes. He looked sad and guilty. But I was the one who was supposed to be guilty.
"Jake, I'm so sorry…"
"Ness, please, can we go away, at least somewhere your Dad can't hear us?"
"Yes, of course. There is noone at the cottage."
"Okay ... let's run." And with that he was off. And he was fast.
"Jake?"
"Ness, I'm sorry I stayed away. I was hurt and ... scared."
"Why scared?"
"Because I was scared that I was still too hurt and too mad and too... jealous to be able to control myself around you."
"Jealous? You didn't really think I wanted to be with that jerk of a hybrid? He's a coward and an asshole. And... I'm sorry I didn't drive him away sooner. I was vain. I reveled in the compliments and glory he showered me in. But I get more than enough of that from you so I can't really complain. I just couldn't see it. I took you for granted and forgot you're not just a separated part of myself. You are your own person and that's one of the things I love about you."
"What do you mean 'drive him away sooner'?"
"After you left I realized what I said and went to my room and started to cry. I don't know how long I sat there just crying until Mom and Dad came. I showed them what happened and Dad called Ali and Jazz and they came and calmed me down. I sort of started to cry again when they told me not to follow you. I was afraid you would think I meant all those things and it would be too late to fix things when they would let me come to you. I called your house and your Dad talked to me. He told me he would call and let me know if it would be okay for me to come see you. After that call, I asked everybody to leave me alone for a while. I wasn't sure if you would ever forgive me and I needed to try to get my head straight without Jazz's help. That wasn't easy. I don't even know if you're here to say you love me or hate me. If you want me back or not."
"We'll get to that later. Now I want an explanation."
"Well, ten minutes later or so Nahuel came. I was angry. I partly blamed him for all this fighting. And he started the conversation by calling me Beautiful. That didn't do him any favors then. I told him he could only call me Miss Cullen or Renesmee. And then he called you a dog and I flipped out and told him he could not call you that either. And when he didn't believe me or do as I said, I kicked him in the balls and threw him out. Grams said she never saw him move as fast as when he cleared the house of his stuff. And when he was gone, I cried some more. But now I want to know if there is any us anymore. I'll settle with being your friend if you can't stand the thought of dating me anymore but I don't want that."
"I don't want that either. I want you as the love of my life, that hasn't changed. The most important change in all this is that before this fight I guessed this fast-forward thing would bite us in the ass but now I know it did. But I love you. And I think you love me still. But we have to work harder with our relationship. This care-free way isn't working. I think we have to re-take some steps because we just flew over them. We have to tell each other how we feel and talk about our history. I may have known you all your life but you didn't know me for 17 years or so. I did things I'm not proud of and I loved another person. I went through not knowing if someone was right for me and I went through heartbreak. I hurt someone. And I have killed vampires. I have almost been killed. I want to tell you all these things so they won't come between us someday. But I want to begin with asking you if you know what it means for me to be imprinted on you. For me to be away from you is… difficult to say the least. And I can imagine that it isn't much better for you. I'm in serious pain even when I just think about leaving you."
"Is that why you said what you said to the guys back there? That you 'couldn't' leave me?"
"Yes."
"But why did they think you were leaving in the first place?"
"Because, okay…. Please sit down before we do this. I'm going to tell you my story. You know about my childhood. But my life story began when I found half of my imprint. Your mother. But she was taken. But that didn't really stop me. First after your father left your mother I tried to go on a 'date' with her. I just went with her to the movies. And her friend. I hit shamelessly on her and when the night ended I was so happy. And that is what triggered the change. I was so mad. I didn't want to be a wolf. I didn't want to be an Alpha. So I let Sam be. And I didn't talk to your mother for a long time. But she came and yelled at me. I realized somewhere there that I was falling in love with her. But she couldn't forget your father. But I tried anyway. She tried many times to tell me our relationship was only friendship, but I wouldn't listen. But then your mother jumped off that cliff. And you know that story. Except that I begged her not to go. I begged her to choose me. But she went and saved him, even thinking that he didn't want her. I didn't talk to her until I found out she was going to become a vamp. Then she came to see me and after that I tried hard to convince her she was in love with me too. That didn't go so well, I kissed her without her consent and she punched me, which made her break her hand. Your dad was this close to killing me at that point. And then I tricked her into asking me to kiss her. And then I got her agree that she was in love with me too, but as we both knew it wasn't enough and not as much as her love for Edward. But then I got her invitation to the wedding. That didn't go so well. After I read that I left. I went as a wolf. I lived in the wild for months. Or until the wedding. I showed up to that. And then I found out your mother was going to have sex with your father as a human. I went crazy. I almost phased in front of her. Then she came back. And you were born and I imprinted on you. But those last days before you were born me and your mother even then found the connection between you and me. We found the strength of the imprinting then."
"Let me get this right. You were in love with my mother and did try many times to split my parents?"
"Yes, but don't you see it was all because you are a big part of your mother. My heart knew even then that you were going to come from her. I know it is a lot to take in. But is it any different to me loving you since you were a newborn?"
It really isn't but this is too much for me all at once. I haven't even figured whether I can kiss him now or not. And I'm not feeling so well. Can I faint? I should be able to. And I think I'm fainting.
Jpov.
What is she thinking? That's not a really nice color.
"Ness, are you okay?" She's fainting. I hurried and caught her before she fell onto the wall. Her heartbeat was alright and breathing. She seemed to have just fainted. But what am I supposed to do now? I think I'll just call Carlisle.
"Carlisle?"
"Jacob. Nice to hear from you."
"I'm at the cottage with Ness and I think she fainted. What should I do?"
"I think Edward is on his way. He left a minute ago, saying something about Ness supposed to have called by now."
"Oh, shit. Okay Carlisle, is there anything I should do or should I just let her wake up at her own speed?"
"Her own speed, I think, she must have fainted because her mind was on overdrive. You just have to let her be. I think it would be best though if someone stayed with her so she'll have someone there when she wakes up."
"Thank you. I think I have to go, I hear Edward. He's not going to be very understanding."
"Bye."
Epov.
If that mutt hurt her, I'll kill him like I should have a long time ago.
-I'm in deep shit … Edward's coming and Ness is unconscious. What am I going to say?-
"You're going to tell me what you did to my daughter to leave her unconscious."
"I sort of didn't do it. She fainted. Carlisle said her mind went on overdrive and we can't try to wake her but someone has to be with her almost all the time so she'll not be alone when she wakes up."
"That's going to be me. You have done enough damage. I think you should just go and not come back. I think Ness would hurt less if you just stayed away."
"Because that worked so well for you and Bells? When are you going to see that our love is as strong if not stronger than yours and Bella's? You know that it was beginning to grow as Bella was pregnant with her. We were both so happy to be in the same room and missed each other when away. Please don't make me leave her. I at least have to answer some of her questions."
-Flashback from Jacob from earlier conversation with Ness.-
"Oh, you idiot. You were supposed to make up with her before confessing that. And I told you, you just should've told her when she was a kid."
"I know, I know, please just let me explain to her. Then, if she asks me to go, I'll go. I'll do what she tells me to do. Exactly what she tells me. Even more than you did after you came back. If she tells me to leave her alone, I will. If she tells me to shut up, I will. Do you get it now? I'm not going to go close to losing her again if she wants anything to do with me."
That mutt sure is devoted now. I still don't trust him.
"I'm going to see if she's dreaming or something."
-Jake, I want you but I need answers.-
"That's good enough for me. When she wakes up you make her call us before you talk to her. If she doesn't wake up in the next 4 hours, Bella AND I will come."
"Thank you Edward, you know how much this means to me."
Jpov.
Two hours have gone by waiting. This is unbearable. But I'll take the wait anytime. I just hope she'll let me stay. Forever.
"Ummhmm, Jake, please, where are you?"
"I'm here Nessie. Please, just open your eyes." And she did, then she sat up and shook her head a little. I reached for her and grabbed her lightly around the shoulders.
"Nessie, slow down, you fainted and you have been unconscious for about two hours."
"Two hours! And have you been here all that time."
"Yes, never leaving your side. But your Dad came. You need to call him or he'll kill me."
Dum-dum-dum -dum ... will she call Edward will Edward still try to kill Jacob ... Will Renesmee still take Jake back after all this. What will Bella say ? See next time on Ladies' Choice if I get at least 3 reviews ... I want much more ... but you have been dissapointing ... up till now ... change that my beloved readers ... I want to post next chapter it's my first M-rated bit ... YES it's M-RATED ... so review and make me post it ...