The next day Izaya skipped first period much to the annoyance of Shizuo and Kadota. He did go to school, though, bouncing into the classroom in between classes.
"Hello! Can you guys let me copy your notes?"
Izaya waved with bandaged hands and immediately the rivals were on him.
"What happened to you?"
"And why are you late?"
"Ah, you see...I was fixing breakfast for my sisters like I always do, and Mairu likes her sandwiches with peanut butter on top and jelly at the bottom and Kururi likes it the other way around. But I was so excited because today is Career day that I got it wrong and so Mairu bit me. So I had to go to the health centre."
Shizuo's jaw dropped dramatically. Shinra was as ever standing on the background and wondering not for the first time if Mairu was not a wild animal instead of a little girl. Kadota saw an opening here.
"There, there, I sure she didn't mean it. Have you filled your career options yet?"
"No! I'm torn, it's either 'kindergarten teacher' or 'informant'. Or maybe 'chef', too! I'll write these."
And indeed Izaya proceeded to do so. Shinra adjusted his glasses.
"I don't think kindergarten is for you, Izaya."
"You think? But how else would I be surrounded by happy children?"
Shizuo thought that this was simply too cute for words. Shinra carried on.
"Well, you could always make some yourself."
Shizuo gasped loudly and Kadota gasped not as loudly.
"What! There's no way Izaya can be into girls! He's too cute and…those rings and fur jacket! It's like Kasuka, he's too pretty to be straight."
Izaya blinked and rubbed his chin.
"Oh, I had never thought of that!"
"Shinra, don't go putting strange ideas into his head! Izaya should be bearing kids, if anything… 'em hips…little Izayas running around…"
"Er, Shizu-chan? I know you flunked biology but you really should take some supplementary classes."
"There you go, you can always have kids without needing to work with them. Don't forget that you can't juggle them."
Shizuo was about to protest but Izaya cut him off.
"That would be nice but what if the biting is a family trait that my children would inherit? I can just see it, they'd end up biting playmates and people would point fingers at me and say that not only am I a bad Onii-chan as I a failure as a father!"
Izaya sobbed at this. Kadota rushed to the rescue, patting his head softly.
"There, there. It's okay. You don't have to worry about that right now."
"I suppose. By the way, have you guys decided what club you're joining this semester? I'm joining cooking and home economics! So that I can learn how to make tasty things for my sisters."
Izaya beamed. Clearly he did not remain distraught for long.
"I'm joining as well!"
"Can you cook at all, Shizuo?"
"Well, no…but it's for learning, right?"
Kadota nodded at this.
"I might as well join too."
"Izaya making chocolate cake…wearing an apron…and licking some whipped cream…"
"Shizu-chan? Hello? Shi-zu-chan? What is wrong with him?"
Shinra sighed.
"Puberty, I suppose."

"Today we'll be making omelets. Does anyone already know how to make an omelet?"
Izaya gesticulated wildly and jumped up and down. As if he was not standing in the first row.
"I do, I do!"
"Izaya-kun, you'll show your classmates how to cook so step to the table at the front. We'll need two more volunteers-"
Shizuo was already following Izaya's bouncy step.
"I'll help Izaya-kun. And that Kadota fellow better not-"
"Dotachin, you can help as well! Shizu-chan says so as well!"
In the end Shinra had joined as well simply because watching this odd contest for Izaya's affections was absolutely hilarious. And he needed to give Celty a pointer or two when it came to cooking, too. Shizuo glared.
"Fine. Just don't go trying anything weird. Or else."
For effect Shizuo crushed an egg. Kadota shivered.
"Shizu-chan, don't destroy the food supply! The chicken laid that egg for us to enjoy, not for you to smash."
"Sorry…"
"It's okay if you don't do it on purpose."