Warnings: Sexual content, alcohol use, nothing new...
Notes: I am extraordinarily nervous about these next two parts. They were actually only meant to be one part but it got too long so I had to break it up. Promise I'll post it soon. I hope everyone had a nice holiday and has a safe new year!
Chapter Ten
After Sirius's run-in with the Snatchers and timely rescue, life almost returns to normal for the two brothers. Terrifying though the experience undoubtedly was for Sirius, it apparently had done some good. The changes Regulus sees in his brother are tremendous.
Sirius begins throwing himself into work at the garage, picking up extra shifts to stay busy. He joins a pub league the next time the Prewetts invite him along for a Sunday footie match, and Regulus even goes to cheer him on. After dinner every night, he helps Regulus study for his up-coming exams, and they fall asleep in the same bed.
It sets Regulus's mind at ease to finally have Sirius doing the right thing. Firm believer in positive reinforcement that he is, Regulus begins rewarding Sirius, making sure there is always a small breakfast and warm tea waiting for him in the morning, complimenting him on his form during league practices, and offering up his body more freely and frequently than he ever had before.
And so things become wonderfully normal.
There is one change Regulus could do without, however; the number of times the name Remus is spoken by Sirius has increased dramatically. Increases daily, in fact.
Since his daring rescue, Remus Lupin (and to a lesser extent, another boy by the name of Pettigrew) has become a regular guest around their house. When he's not taking up space on their sofa or at their dinner table, Sirius is either glued to the phone with him or out for drinks at the pub.
Things like: "Remus says that place has the best curry," or "You have to hear this band Remus likes," or "Listen to this joke Remus told me," begin falling so easily from Sirius's lips Regulus feels like he might tape Sirius's mouth shut for a few minutes of respite.
Regulus tries to be happy Sirius has made a friend. A friend who, despite his shady, secretive past, is more or less a decent human being. But lately he's becoming a bit of a nuisance.
Because even if Sirius is blissfully ignorant, Regulus sees what is really happening. There is no misreading the look in Lupin's eyes as he watches Sirius talk. The way he touches Sirius, casually, but with lingering purpose. Regulus feels something inside him roar every time he catches Lupin's hands on Sirius's shoulder, his chest, toying with his hair.
That Sirius continues to moan Regulus's name at night is the only thing keeping him from going completely mad with jealously. But after Sirius has fallen asleep, Regulus watches him, and wonders if it's only a matter of time.
oOo
Sirius eyeballs the small shot of amber liquid on the table in front of him and glances back up at Remus who is wearing a mischievous smile.
It has been several weeks since he was nearly snatched. One how-about-I-buy-you-dinner-just-to-say-thank-you later, and he and Remus have become nearly inseparable. It had only taken six or so months but Sirius finally realized what he'd been missing since he and Regulus ran away.
A friend.
Someone who gets him. Someone to talk to. Laugh with.
The Prewetts are fun and they include him from time to time, but outside of work he doesn't see much of them. Alexi was…well that's over and done with and Sirius doesn't think he needs friends of that sort anyway. And Regulus, fuck, he's so confused over what Regulus is these days he doesn't even want to think about it.
"The rules are simple," Remus says, interrupting his musings. "I ask a question. You either answer the question truthfully, or take the shot, and you can't ask the same question twice."
"How do we know who wins?"
A soft chuckle escapes Remus. "You don't win. You just get pissed or get some interesting answers from the other person. C'mon you can go first."
"Alright," Sirius says, and clears his throat. "Remus, er, what is your favorite color?"
The look Remus gives him is simultaneously amused and exasperated. "Blue. My turn," he says, pushing the shot towards Sirius without spilling a drop. "Are you a virgin?"
It is Sirius's turn to roll his eyes but privately he's a little unnerved. Apparently Remus was not afraid to get personal. "You know what I was doing nights before we met."
"Wait, you actually had sex with them? I thought it was just, you know…"
"No!" Sirius rushes to correct him. "I didn't. It was just, you know…but no, I'm not a virgin."
"Who'd you lose it to? Anyone I know?"
"It's my turn! No cheating, Mr. Lupin." Remus shrugs and Sirius continues. "Okay, what about you? Are you a lily-white maiden or a filthy little trollop?"
"Filthy trollop," Remus says, a touch proudly. The shot is back in front of Sirius. "Why does your brother call you Sirius?"
Shit. He should have expected that one. Regulus had been far too careless. Sirius chews his lip thoughtfully. He absolutely trusts Remus, surprisingly so, given how long he's known him.
With one finger, he pushes the shot slowly back across the table to Remus. "He calls me Sirius because that's my name. Sirius Black. Stubby is…just a cover."
Remus tests the name slowly, rolling it around in his mouth like a candy, half a smile quirking at the corner of his lips. "Sirius Black." Sirius watches Remus's tongue curl up on the L. "I have to say, I'm a bit relieved. I mean, Stubby?"
Sticking his tongue out at Remus, Sirius says, "My turn." Using his finger, he draws a line from his earlobe to his collarbone. "How did you get that scar?"
The half-smile becomes a frown and Sirius gives a small cheer. Remus runs a hand along the faded scar briefly, then plucks the shot from the table and downs it in one gulp. He is quiet as he refills the glass, and Sirius wonders if he went too far.
He drops the shot in front of Sirius carefully then gives him a wicked grin, all traces of the moment before gone. "Sirius Black," he says, clearly enjoying the use of Sirius's given name, "do you think I'm cute?"
Not the first time Remus has flirted so blatantly with him. Sirius is not stupid. He's been flirted with before. Has done his fair share of flirting. He isn't sure though, if Remus is just the flirty type, or if there is meaning behind it he's not picking up.
Certainly he's felt a spark or two (or maybe a hundred) of attraction to the other boy. Interesting that even despite his former nighttime occupation, and his current whatever the hell it is he's doing with Regulus, he still does not think of himself as gay. He doesn't really think of himself as anything.
And Remus is cute. Tall and lean. Gorgeous, expressive eyes that are forever hidden behind a wave of light brown fringe he is constantly pushing away with long, clever fingers; Sirius has always had a thing for brunettes. And the most adorable dusting of freckles across the bridge of his nose and this one on his lip that looks like he has a bit of chocolate stuck to it, and if Sirius would just run his tongue along it…
Sirius toasts Remus before sinking the shot quickly, and only wincing a little at the burning trail now blazing down his throat. Remus pouts, but he is smiling, for real, again.
The next shot is waiting patiently in front of Remus. Sirius considers for a moment, and then asks, "Why won't you tell me about that scar?"
Remus's mouth falls open in indignation. "That's cheating!"
"It's a new question!" insists Sirius.
Remus crosses his arms, curling in on himself slightly. "It's personal, St—Sirius."
"I thought that was the point of this game." Sirius comes around to the other side of the table so they're sitting side by side. He places a hand on Remus's shoulder tentatively, and is relieved when it is not knocked away. When he speaks it is low and sincere. "I'm not going to tell anyone or think differently of you. Christ, you practically caught me with my pants down. I'm not in any position to judge."
The baleful look he gets from Remus is enough to make him reconsider. They don't know each other this well. Enough to divulge deep, dark secrets. He doesn't even know why he needs to know at all. Only that he does.
Remus reaches out and downs the second shot. Sirius bites back his disappointment with every intention of letting the matter rest, when Remus begins speaking in a quiet voice.
"When I was little…maybe five or six…I got really ill. My parents did everything they could to make me well again. Took me to all these special hospitals and doctors. They racked up a huge debt after a while. My dad asked this man Greyback for a loan. When he couldn't pay him back…Greyback took me as payment."
"Oh, fuck, Remus…" He doesn't know what else to say.
"When I was eleven I tried to escape. I didn't even make it to the train station before he caught me. That's how I got this scar. It…isn't the only one."
Sirius's mouth is hanging open in shock. That was not what he expected to hear. At best he'd thought an "I wrecked my car one time," and at worst, possibly, "Well, my dad used to drink a lot…" but this is just horrible.
"You obviously got away eventually," manages Sirius. "Did your parents find you?"
Remus shakes his head. "No…no, they're dead. I don't know if Greyback killed them or what."
"I'm so sorry." Sirius places a hand on Remus's knee.
One boney shoulder rises in a half-shrug. "I don't really remember them."
"You don't have to tell me any more. It's okay," Sirius says, earning him a contemptuous snort.
"Knew I'd make you uncomfortable eventually."
"It's not that!" he insists. "I just…you don't have to. I don't want to bring up painful memories or anything."
The look in Remus's eye softens. "It's alright, Sirius. I haven't told anyone this before. Not even Pete knows the whole story and he's like my best mate. It's…nice to get it out."
Sirius nods and gives his knee an encouraging squeeze. "So how'd you escape then?"
"Greyback's syndicate was raided by DEs. My choices were death or service to Voldemort. It could have been much worse. Some of the other kids Greyback had were auctioned off. All I had to do was make M. I guess they thought I was damaged goods or something."
"More like they realized you were too clever to waste."
Remus taps the side of his nose, still looking down at his knees. "Anyway, I got picked up by the police with a fuck load of M in my pocket little over a year ago now. The judge was lenient though. Sent me to a boy's school instead of a correctional facility. Got me a job when I was done, working in his brother's pub."
And so the mystery of Remus Lupin is revealed, Sirius thinks a bit sadly. He likes Remus. A lot. Remus is such a genuinely good person. Nice, funny, brave. Life had been so unfair to him.
Remus is quiet for a long moment then he pours another shot and hands it to Sirius with a wry grin. "What's your favorite color?" as Sirius blurts, "I ran away."
Sirius rolls up the sleeve of his jumper showing Remus the faded brand on his arm. "It was my birthday…"
He tells Remus everything. About the ceremony. The blood and the burning pain. How he'd fled in the dead of night with Regulus. How they'd dodged police and come to live in their uncle's old house. About how much he missed his friends. About the nightmares and the fights and how he'd fallen into selling himself. About now utterly helpless he feels. How he feels like he's failed his brother, though he does omit some details about his and Regulus's relationship.
Remus listens quietly, one sympathetic hand holding his, giving him the courage to continue speaking.
"I should have never brought him with me, Remus."
"He cares about you."
"And I love him but…I don't know how to take care of him. I feel like I'm ruining him. I think maybe I already have."
"No one has a normal life, do they?" Remus says softly when Sirius has finished his tale. He touches the faded mark on Sirius's arm, sending a shiver across his skin.
Shaking his head, Sirius rolls down his sleeve again. Their hands are still clasped tightly. Surprisingly, it does not feel awkward. They know each knows the other's secrets and no one is running away.
"Can I kiss you?" Remus asks suddenly, brown eyes meeting and holding his.
Sirius hesitates, surprised at how quickly they're moving. He's probably thinking too long about it. Remus is starting to look worried and he's sliding his hand out of Sirius's, and just when did it get so sweaty? He glances over to the neglected shot on the table and swallows it quickly before saying, "Yes. For the love of God, yes."
There is nothing shy or sweet about kissing Remus Lupin. Remus is bold. Parts his lips without hesitation, tasting Sirius with his tongue. Sirius tastes back. He feels hands on his jaw and in his hair and, God, he wants to touch back, so he does, running fingers to cup the back of Remus's head, holding him in place.
Sirius wants to be closer. They're snogging now and too far apart in separate chairs for his liking. He shifts, preparing to straddle Remus's lap, when he hears, "Oh…sorry," from the door.
Regulus is watching them, hair in disarray like he's just woken up, and wearing a neutral expression. Fuck.
"I thought you were asleep," Sirius says, putting some distance between himself and Remus.
"I was. I just came for a drink of water." Sirius thinks he might have caught a spasm of hurt flit across Regulus's face before he turns. "I'll leave you two alone."
And he is gone.
Remus clears his throat, running a hand across his reddened face. "He won't um…he's not going to be angry with us or anything?"
"Why would he be angry?" Sirius asks sharply.
"Well…he's okay with you seeing men then?"
Oh. Sirius shrugs. "I dunno."
The mood is sufficiently ruined. Remus seems to sense this too because he rises. "I should go."
Sirius sees him to the door and kisses him chastely. "I'll call you."
Remus smiles. "I hope so."
Once he is gone, Sirius almost immediately wishes Remus had not left. The longer he waits to go up to bed, the guiltier he'll seem. What does he have to be guilty over anyway? It was a kiss. Regulus isn't his boyfriend. They just…mess around. It's fun. Hot, sticky, glorious fun. They're not in love or anything.
But he knows that's not entirely true. There is a small part of his heart that flutters every time their eyes meet. That aches as he watches Regulus sleep. That burns when their mouths meet. The same part of him that he thinks could one day belong to Remus if he gave it a chance. It is decidedly un-brotherly, and Sirius is sure it is not a good thing.
He does love Regulus. They're brothers, he reasons. He is obligated to love him. But even if they weren't, he'd still love him. Regulus is clever and proud but so very, very vulnerable. Sirius sees the utter terror in Regulus's eyes when he lets his guard drop. God, Sirius just wants him to be happy.
He thinks about ending whatever strange relationship they've started but knows if he does that, it will irreparably tear them apart. It has become too much a part of who they are now. To end it would be disastrous. And though he knows this, Sirius also knows that to continue will also mostly likely ruin them too. He is stuck trying to think of an answer that will lead to the least amount of broken hearts.
When he cannot find one, he does the only thing can think of, which is to tidy up the remains of his game with Remus, and trudge up stairs to face the music.
oOo
Regulus has a decision to make. Pretend to be asleep or let Sirius have it. He is still not sure which option to take when Sirius quietly enters the room after a brief fumbling about in the bathroom. The mattress dips when Sirius slides beneath the sheets.
"I hope you don't expect to touch me after you've been slobbering all over that drug dealer."
Well, there really hadn't been a choice, had there?
Sirius sighs. "He doesn't do that any more."
"And you believed him? God, you're so gullible, Sirius. And you're deliberately missing the point."
"I'm sorry, Reg. It just happened. I…"
There is a very long silence. Regulus rolls over. Sirius is watching him with guarded eyes. Rising onto all fours, Regulus crawls over the short distance and straddles his brother, hands and knees on either side of his body. He leans down, lips ghosting over Sirius's.
"He fancies you."
"I know."
"Do you fancy him?"
"Maybe…I don't know."
"But you fancy me more, don't you?" Regulus asks, and he lowers his hips slowly, pressing Sirius into the mattress, both boys groaning as their clothed erections connect. "You like this, right?" Sirius nods, eyes drifting shut, rising up to meet Regulus's slow rolling thrusts.
Sirius is moaning, arching his neck to catch Regulus's lips in a kiss. He growls a little when Regulus turns his head at the last second. "Please, Reg," he whines.
Regulus begins thrusting harder, faster. He balances himself on one hand, and uses the other to shuck his pants down. Beneath him, Sirius does the same until hot, wet flesh is sliding against hot, wet flesh.
"Say you only want me," Regulus pants, their lips sparse inches apart. "Only me. Not him."
Sirius is keening. "God, yes, only you..."
And Regulus rewards him with a kiss, hot and hungry. Sirius's hand slides between their bodies, wrapping around twin arousals. He pumps them in time with Regulus's frantic thrusting and within seconds, they're both crying out loudly.
The momentum slowly peters out, and Regulus collapses into a sweaty heap on top of Sirius's heaving, sticky chest. Sirius's arms are coming around him, holding and stroking his hair.
"Just me and you," Sirius says, and Regulus is almost too tired to hear the resigned note in his voice as he says it. Almost.