Loosing it
Chapter 9
November
Gabriella's POV
Breast Cancer is I think the most number one killing cancer for women…I think. I mean I researched this stuff when grandma died. I'm pretty sure it was, but how could I have breast cancer? I would have seen the symptoms the lumps. My breast were tender, but it was a PMSing thing…wasn't it? Oh god mom and dad, how was I suppose to tell them? Dr. Dessen left the room to bring Dr. Wilson in here. House…I'm an idiot I'm here thinking of a TV show when this is really happening! I was going to die. What stage am I in? Chemo therapy was that used after the surgery. The medicine doesn't that make you feel weak? My senior year was already busy without the stress of this, but now it just dumped a whole lot of stress on me.
The door opened and I wiped the tears from my cheeks. I didn't bother to stand up and shake Dr. Wilson's hand. He took the seat next to me as Dr. Dessen took her seat at her desk. I looked at him he didn't look like Dr. Wilson in House. "Hello Gabriella my name is Dr. James Wilson." He said. I nodded my head. My mouth had gone dry since those two words left Dr. Dessen's mouth. This wasn't good for my head ache anymore.
"Well from what I can tell from your tests you're in Stage two B." he said to me. His voice sounded sincere.
"Is that bad?" I asked him. My voice sounded worse than before.
He looked down at his hands then back into my eyes. "The tumor in your breast is exactly five Centimeters. I'll have to get more tests done to see if it ahs spread to the axillary lymph nodes. Other than that you will have to under go surgery to get the tumor out. After that with chemo therapy and medication. Hopefully the tumor won't come back. You'll have monthly visits after the surgery. I'll only keep you for chemo therapy twice a week and for just two months."
I nodded my head. I'm pretty sure more tears escaped my eyes, but I didn't care. I too busy biting my lip to not let any sobs escape from me. "When will the surgery be?" I asked him.
"Well we're going to wait awhile so I can get a better look at it. Will you be able to come here tomorrow?" he asked.
I could just ask Jake to take my shift. "Yeah."
He told me to be here at three. Just an hour after school was let out. The three of us stood up. "Um, I hope the both of you understand that I'm a legal adult and I don't want of this getting back to my mother or father." I said to them. They didn't need to worry about this. It was just a small detail in my life. The two doctors exchanged looks, but I knew they couldn't tell my parents. It was part of the whole doctor confidential with the patient thing. I could pay for all of this my grandma left me at least two million. In her whole life she just put every penny away in the bank for me. Plus my dad's money was given to her when he died. And I would be getting my Aunts will any day now.
I could deal with this. I said to myself as I walked into the hospital parking lot after setting up my appointment with the doctor. I sat in the car for two minutes before turning it on. I pulled out of the parking lot and started my way home.
I turned the radio on and heard David Archuleta's new song "Crush" come on the air. I have to admit he was pretty good. I stomped my foot slowly on the brake when a red light came. The car slowed down and I just let out a sigh and looked in the review mirror. I looked like someone died. Good thing my mom knew I was sick other wise she would have never believed me that I was ok. Ten minutes later I pulled into the driveway and turned the car off. I got out of the car and went inside home.
"Gabi! Where were you? I got home and you weren't here." My mom said running over to hug me. She squeezed me tight and a little too tight because I felt my eyes tear when my right breast was being squished. It hurt and I could finally tell it wasn't the usual PMSing tenderness that it would usually be.
"Sorry just Dr. Dessen called me and she wanted me to come in." I said as she pulled away from me.
Her face grew worried. "Mom I'm perfectly fine. No cancer. She just wanted me to come back in because I was over-due for my physical." I lied.
"Oh ok. Good." Her face grew back into a smile I loved. A smile that Jim had put on her face all the time.
"I'm going to go to bed." I said.
"Ok, but all your friends called worried. I think you should call them back to let them know you're just sick. Troy was the worse. He thought some bad happened to you. That boy is really in love with you." She said smiling at me.
I smiled and went upstairs dialing Troy's number. "Hello?" His voice sounded worried.
"Hey Troy it's me." I said closing my bedroom door and locking it. I didn't feel like talking, but I had to let them know I was ok.
"Oh Gabi I thought you were hit by a car or something!" he said.
"No, no I'm just sick. I caught what the family had." I said to him. "How was school?"
We talked for ten minutes. I told him I was very tired and that I would see him tomorrow and that I loved him. I also asked him to tell the gang that I was fine. I placed my phone on my table after texting Jake asking if he could take over my shift tomorrow. He said sure. I go up form my bed and went into my bathroom to look into the mirror. I took my shirt and bra off and looked at my right breast. This was really happening. I reached up to touch it lightly. I lifted my arm up and just touched it to see or feel any bump that I missed.
I would have seen the bump or felt it when I was showering or getting dressed…did Troy feel it that night? I went to the side of my breast and that's when I felt the tiniest thing. Five centimeters…the tumor was five centimeters. I tore my hand away form my breast and just threw my shirt back on leaving my bra on the floor. I didn't feel like feeling the pain tonight.
It was Friday. The last day of the school week. I was happy on the outside in the inside I was dead. I went to Dr. Wilson's office like I sad I would on Tuesday. He did some more tests and then brought me back into his office. The surgery I was having was called is Lumpectomy. It is surgery in which only the tumor and some surrounding tissue is removed. Instead of Chemo therapy after the surgery I'll be doing radiation therapy. He gave me a couple of perscriptions to take. I didn't ask what they were for. All he told me was that I take two every day before breakfast. He also said after the surgery the medication would get stronger so the tunor wouldn't come back.
Dr. Wilson or Dr. Dessen didn't tell my parents. I told them I would tell them. My Aunt left me everything inculding her one year old dog Nell. She was cute and got along with Molly. I sold her house because I could bare to even look at it. Too many memories. The funeral was yesterday. In her will she said she wanted to be cermated and he ashes to be in three places, next to her mom, on the beach and in the woods. I did it. She didn't have many friends because she was always working. In her bank account there was at least over two hundered thousand that was for me. she never traveled. She had the money to do so, but she never did.
That money was put away with my Grandma's money. There money was going to be helping me pay for my surgery and raidiation therapy. I was still waiting for the right time to tell my parents. My plan was to wait after the surgery to see if they got it all. I just didn't want them to start worrying over nothing.
The worse part is I didn't even tell my friends. I knew they were worried because kept seeing me wince when ever I thought of the cancer that I had inside of me. I went to work. Everythiung was fine. Jake told me his stories. I laughed. We went for icecream where he talked to his boy friend.
My surgery was the day right after thanksgiving we ahd that week off due to the holiday. I told my parents that I was going to go to California to visit Ana my cousin from my moms side. Ana of course knew I wans't going to go over there, but she was happy to cover for me. but I had to promise her I would visit her soon. I told my friends the same thing, but all in all I was going ot be here right in Alberqueque. I would be staying in the hospital for preperation for a day then I would spend my second day in surgery then three days in recovery and my first radiation therpay. I woul have therpay session at least twice a week for two months. Then we will check again to see if its all gone.
I was ok…I was perfectly fine.
A/N ok so I know I didn't get 7 reviews, but I really wanted to post this chapter so yeah. But now I have to get at least 12 reviews:) thank you guys!
TWILIGHT GOT MOVED UP!! But then ahrry got moved down:(