disclaimer: I don't own South of Nowhere or any of those good things
A/N: I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. Also, I'll be doing NaNoWriMo in November so I won't be post during that month, but I should have another chapter up before then.
Spencer kisses me hard. Her face still feels wet from the tears. She's pushing me back towards the bed. We walk backwards without breaking our lips. She pushes me onto the bed and gets on top of me. Things are going fast. I know Spencer. She doesn't want this to happen at some party after a moment like that.
"Spence, what are you doing?" I ask her. Spence. Spence. Spence.
It feels nice when I say it. It feels normal. It feels right.
"Kissing you," she says softly. She moves her lips to my neck.
"Yeah, but we've never done anything like this before," I point out.
"There's a first time for everything," she says reaching for the button on my pants.
"Spence, stop," I tell her. This isn't right. This isn't what she wants.
"What's wrong," she says after a deep sigh.
"Why are you doing this?" I ask her.
"I want to do this, Ashley, it's not like you haven't before," she says harshly.
"You're just upset," I tell her. I push her slightly so she'll get off of me.
"No, I want to do this," she says loudly almost screaming.
"Spencer, please, do you really want our first time to be at some party after a fight with your brother?" I ask her.
She sighs. "I just want people to leave us alone," she says quietly.
"I know," I tell her. I pull her hand into mind. "Things will get easier. We'll talk to him, together."
"He'll tell my parents," she says. She's about to cry again, "I just, I don't know if I'm ready for that."
"Then we'll wait till you're ready. We'll take everything slow, okay. There is no rush to come out. It's hard. I know," I tell her. She nods. I wipe the tears from her face.
"I am ready, though," she tells me, "Just not here and tonight but maybe soon."
"There's no pressure," I tell her, "Let's head back to the party, if you're ready."
She nods. We stand up. We walk downstairs and people are dancing. Spencer pulls me out to the dance floor. She grinds up against me. She doesn't care who sees.
Everyone starts to fall asleep around two in the morning. Spencer and I find a nice corner and cuddle up. My arm is wrapped around her torso. She pushes herself more into me so my head rests on top of her shoulder.
"Night, Ashley," she whispers to me.
"Goodnight, Spencer, I…." and then I stop. I almost told her I love her. I get overwhelmed with this feeling. Was I just going to say it because it felt right in the moment or because I really do love her.
"You what?" she asks.
"I'm glad you're here," I tell her. She nuzzles more into me.
"Me too," she says. I fall asleep listening to her breathing.
When leave early the morning so we don't have to deal with everyone's hangovers. We drive to my house. She wants to shower before she goes home so she doesn't smell like alcohol.
When we pull into the driveway, I notice my mom's car is gone so she's not here. Kyla was still at the party when we left so she's not here either.
"Do you want to shower first?" she asks me.
"No, it's okay. You can shower first," she nods. She heads to the bathroom. I hear the shower start. I sit down on my bed.
I almost told Spencer I loved her last night. I had to think about this.
I sit and contemplate what this means. I grab my guitar and strum a few chords. It helps me think. I start playing.
Is this love
Broken eyes; broken hearts
Is this real
I've got no heart
How can I love
When all I know is loss
I hear the shower turn off. I set my guitar. I could love her. I could be in love with her. She makes me feel more than anyone has. She makes me feel.
She comes out of the bathroom. She's scrunching her hair with the towel in attempt to dry it. She comes sit by me on the bed.
"Are you okay?" she asks me.
"Yeah," I say, "Why do you ask?"
"It's just you seem deep in thought," she tells me.
"Nah, I'm fine," I tell her.
"Okay," she says. She leans and kisses me. Her hand rests on my thigh. She pushes me slightly so I'm lying down on the bed. She moves on top of me. She's been doing this a lot lately. She sucks on my bottom lip. I moan softly. She pulls away and smirks at me. Her hair is still wet, so drops of water fall on my face.
"Shut up," I say. She giggles. She reconnects our lips. I rub her back while we kiss. She moves her lips to my neck. I take this time to move my hand under her shirt so I feel the skin on her back. I scratch her back. She sucks on my neck and bites every now and then. Every time she bites down, I moan quietly. She loves when I do this. I move my hand to her stomach. Her skin is soft and warm, and I want to feel all of it. I run my hand along her stomach, and she makes a noise.
"That tickles," she says.
"Sorry," I say quietly. She shakes her head at me and kisses me again. She pushes one of her legs in between mine. I start to grind against it slowly. Spencer kisses me harder at the contact. Then there is a knock on my door.
"Yeah?" I say.
"Are you guys home?" Kyla asks from the other side of the door. Spencer climbs off me and sits down next to me.
"Obviously," I say because she just heard me reply. She opens the door.
"Did you guys have fun?" she asks.
"Yeah it was okay," I reply. She nods. "I'm going to hop in the shower."
"I'll keep Spencer company," Kyla says. Spencer smiles. I'm still glad that they're friends."
What are your guys' thoughts on this chapter. Did you like it? Do you want things to go faster/slower? Feedback is appreciated.