So here's where it gets tense, hope you enjoy :)

I can't face being in the office, mostly because I don't think I can face Karma when he gets back. If I hadn't have got that feeling or if I had reacted a second slower then he would have been killed and it would have been my fault because I didn't get on and do the job fast enough. I stayed and got attached and I let my emotions get the better of me. I let my guard down and I allowed myself room to fall for him.

I leave him a note that says I don't feel overly well and that I've gone home but I can't even bring myself to go back there. All I can do is wonder aimlessly through the streets trying to work out what I should do next.

After a little while my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out to a text from Karma. I'm glad that he's sent me a text because I don't think I could handle hearing his voice at the moment. My hands are even shaking as I open the message.

'Meet me up in the mountains in two hours, by the old sports shed, I love you, Kx'

I tap out a quick reply and say that I'll be there before I can stop myself. This is just the effect that he has on me. I put my phone back in my pocket and begin to slowly make my way towards the direction of the mountains. If I'm moving as slowly as I have been it could very well take me two hours to get there and I need the time to sort my head out before I see him so that I don't just break down.

By the time I get to the old sport shed Karma is already waiting for me. That kind of makes sense as I was dawdling and he probably took the short cut to get here. I worry my lip between my bottom teeth and look up at him. His face is impassive and it's impossible for me to even hazard a guess at what he's thinking.

"Hey," I say timidly. A part of me has been wondering if he is angry at me for bolting in the middle of the day but this isn't exactly news. He knows I do this, hell I did this last time we were here. He comes over to me, reaches over and brushes my fringe out of my eyes.

"What's going on with you Nagisa?" he asks.

"Nothing," I lie shrugging.

"You never were a very good liar," he says on a breathy laugh. "At least, I can always tell when you're lying."

"I'm sorry," I mumble.

"It's okay," he says, "just tell me what's going on. I can help you."

The words are like a knife in my heart because I know that there isn't anything he can do to help. I feel tears at the corners of my eyes and I really don't want to start crying now otherwise I'll never stop.

"There isn't anything you can do," I say quietly.

"Nagisa," he says and he takes my hand, "I thought I had lost you and now you're here with me again. I've waited for you for too long to just give up on you now. I want to make you happy for the rest of our lives but I can't do that unless you tell me what's going on. Whatever it is, we can work it out together."

"I don't think we can," I say, my voice trembling.

"You won't know unless you try," he says.

I can't tell him. I can't tell him the real reason why I'm suddenly back in his life again but, I suppose if I do tell him he might be able to prepare for it if Karasuma sends more people to try and kill him.

"It's a long story," I warn him.

"I've got time," he shrugs with a smile.

I take a deep breath. If I'm going to do this then I'm going to start properly from the beginning.

"Okay so you remember after Korosensei died and we all had the choice to give up being assassins and just have normal lives? Well I never did," I tell him.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean a few months after I started at High School Karasuma asked me if I could work my magic and help him kill someone," I tell him. "I said yes because the pay off was good and my parents were struggling a bit for money at the time and I guess I never stopped."

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Karma asks.

"I don't know," I shrug. "I guess I just didn't want to be a burden to anyone."

"But we were best friends," he says, placing his hands on my waist and pulling me close, "you could have told me anything."

"I'm sorry," I say, "I just didn't think."

"So you kept up with the assassination thing and then what?" he asks.

"Then, about a month ago, Karasuma gave me my new target," I say. "I thought I could do it, I could just get the assignment done and get out but, as it turns out I couldn't, I fucked up. I fucked up so badly."

"I think I know where this is going but I'm going to ask anyway," he says, "but who was your target?"

"You," I reply.

"Of course," he says with a wry smile.

"But I fucked up," I say, tears starting to spill from my eyes, "I wasn't supposed to fall for you. I tried so hard not to but I couldn't stop myself. I never wanted to do this in the first place, there was no way I would ever have been able to do it."

The tears are coming faster now and Karma places his hand on the back of my head and pulls me into his chest. I cling to the front of his jacket, allowing myself to cry as he gently strokes my hair.

"It's okay," he whispers soothingly.

"How can you say that?" I ask, looking up at him. "I lied to you, I kept secrets from you and, because I haven't done the job fast enough, Karasuma is going to start sending people who will get the job done."

"That is potentially problematic," he says.

"Potentially problematic?" I ask.

"Okay very problematic," he corrects himself.

"He's really serious about this," I say. "Karasuma already sent someone this afternoon and he'll start sending his best and I can't watch you die. Not knowing that all of this was my fault."

"How is all of this your fault?" he asks.

"I could have said no," I reply. "I didn't want to do this in the first place, because I don't like having people I know as targets – it's too painful – but I caved and said I'd do it and to top it all off I dragged Itona into it as well."

"What do you mean?"

"We were never a couple," I admit.

"But it was a way to get my attention," he says, finishing the thought for me.

"I'm sorry," I say. God, he's going to hate me now. I am literally the worst so I am very surprised when he gives my hair a ruffle and chuckles.

"You're such a dumbass," he says. "You already had my attention."

"But I just keep fucking things up no matter what I do," I say tears falling down my cheeks again. "This has all gotten so fucked up."

"That doesn't make this your fault," he says wiping away some of the tears still slowly making tracks down my face with his thumb.

"But I..." I start to protest. No matter what he says this feels like my fault. I shouldn't have let it go this far; I should have put a stop to it as soon as I found out I had feelings for Karma but before I can voice any of this I'm silences by his lips on mine.

"There must be a reason there's a price on my head so it can't all be your fault," he says.

"Karma..." I can't even finish my sentence. I fling my arms around his neck and cry into his shoulder. He wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly, as if that will stop me from breaking completely. He presses a kiss to my temple before he pulls away and presses a kiss to my lips that makes me melt.

"Please don't cry," he says. "I don't want to see you sad."

"I'm sorry," I say and try to smile through the tears.

"I'm so glad I found you again Nagisa," he says smiling at me. "Even if it was orchestrated that way so you could kill me, I'm just happy I got to see you again and tell you how much I love you."

"I'm sorry," I say, dissolving into fresh tears.

"You don't need to be sorry," he whispers as he pulls me close again and I wish time would just stop and keep us in this moment forever: just me and him.

But it doesn't.

There is no way that it can.

Karma pulls away from the embrace he's had me in all this time and pulls something out of his back pocket. In the glowing moonlight I can't quite see what it is but as he presses it into my hand and my fingers close around it I immediately know what it is.

"What?" I ask, looking at the gun in my hand an then looking back at him.

"If you kill me then it's over, right?" he asks.

"What?" I ask again. What is he saying? This can't be happening. Not now, not like this. I still haven't been able to stop crying and it's just going to get worse again. I can just about make out some sort of writing on the side of the gun through the tears but not enough to be able to tell what it says.

"If you shoot me then it's over, there won't be anyone coming after either of us," he says.

"Well no but..."

"I love you Nagisa," he says. He takes a step towards me, takes hold of the hand holding the gun and moves it so that the barrel is pressed against where his heart is.

"I love you too," I say, my voice strangled by tears.

"Pull the trigger."

"I can't."

"Yes you can," he tells me. He leans down and kisses me, entwining his fingers in my hair as he slips his hand around the back of my head. "Everything will be alright, I promise."

"How can it?" I ask.

"Trust me," he says and I do.

I shut my eyes tightly and grip the gun with both hands to stop myself from shaking. I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this! His hand is on my hair again and I open my eyes and look up at him through the tears. I feel a strange wave of calm wash over me and I feel a little bit stronger... he always did have this effect on me. He smiles and I just about manage to return it. He reaches over and ineffectively wipes away my tears. They are replaced with new ones instantly but neither of us say anything. I take a deep breath and squeeze the trigger.

The gun goes off and all I can do is sink to my knees and sob as the world collapses around me.