Author's Note: If you haven't already checked it out, I've got another story up and running at the same time as this one, called Miss Johnson's Toys. Complete with PimpDOS. Yeah, that's right. You read it correctly. GLaDOS is pimpin'. And there's plenty of sexy ChellDOS action. READ IT FOR SCIENCE.

As it turned out, distracting GLaDOS for long enough to get Chell alone to have a little chat with her had been a lot easier than Mrs Keegan first thought. All she'd done was lead her into the garage. That place was chock full of electronic goodies and boxes of spare parts of things that hadn't seen the light of day for 20 something years. It had all belonged to her husband, and after he had passed on, she hadn't the heart or the inclination to throw it out. It wasn't like she used the garage anyway, and it was handy to have all that stuff around in case she ever did need some stray nail or bolt that she was sure to find in there. And it seemed that the android had found her own little slice of heaven in there as well. She hadn't even bothered about wearing the jumpsuit again to stop herself getting dirty. Now with the house to themselves, Mrs Keegan brewed up a nice pot of tea and sat the once again quiet girl down on the couch.

"Listen, sweet cheeks. I've been meanin' to talk to you about somethin' for a little while now." She started, her leathery old hands wrapped around the steaming china cup. "And it's going to be hard to talk about too. But we need to have this conversation." Reaching forward, she took one of Chell's hands in her own, and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"You know I care about you like I do my own daughter. When you came along, it was a blessin' in disguise. I thought I was going to have to sell this place because I just couldn't keep up with it all, but you were able to fix it right up and help me out. And not just that, either. You don't talk much, sweet cheeks, but it's been wonderful havin' you around and bringin' some life back into this place and making it a home again. Now now, don't give me that look. I'm not fixin' to kick you out or anything." She quickly reassured the girl, who looked a little panicked.

"I just have your best interests at heart, that's all. I don't know too much about you, or where you've come from. So it's a whole lotta speculation on my part. Might be perfectly normal where you come from. I think I'm startin' to understand with your friend comin' to visit and all." Mrs Keegan searched desperately for the right words to say without offending her.

"You seem to have a very...different life growin' up than most people have. You showed up outta nowhere and went back to nowhere just as fast. You don't have a clue about the things you're supposed to, and your friend ain't exactly...normal." she delicately put it.

Chell's brows furrowed at the way this conversation was turning. She didn't like it, one bit. With a gradually stiffening spine, she took a tentative sip of her tea to stop herself from blurting something out that she couldn't take back. Not that she normally had that problem, but this was starting to tread dangerously close to something that was a bit too close to home.

"I don't mean that in a bad way, sweet cheeks. I know you care about her. But you know she ain't human, right? As far as I know, she's your only friend. At least outside the life you've made here. And that's fine. It's just that-..." Mrs Keegan sighed, "People don't take too kindly to things like her. And I'm not just sayin' that because we're just a little God-fearin' country town. Technology ain't somethin' people like so much anymore, even in the cities. Ever since the Combine attacks, things just haven't quite been the same. You need to be careful with her around, sweet cheeks. She ain't the nicest bit of machinery I've come across, but I suppose you know her better than I do."

Where exactly was this conversation going? Chell placed the cup down on the saucer, and none-too-gently deposited it on the coffee table, signifying that she'd just about had enough.

"Look,I guess what I'm trying to say is that you two are going to have a hard time about it, sweetheart." Mrs Keegan patted her hand, and gave her a look that could only be described by the former test subject as pity. "I may have almost...walked in on you two the other night. I was bringin' you up some tea and I may have seen a few things I shouldn't and- whoa whoa hold your horses!" she hurriedly tried to explain before she had to drag a furiously blushing Chell back onto the couch.

To say that she was embarrassed though was a complete understatement. Giving a wailing moan as she buried her head in her arms, she could feel the old woman pat her awkwardly on the shoulder.

"I'm real sorry about that. I didn't want to say somethin' and make it awkward for you. I just figured...what with you bein' a bit shy and all. It was...y'know. Easier being with a robot than real people."

Chell just shut her eyes tighter, her fingernails digging into her scalp while her knuckles remained white with the pressure exerted upon them. She didn't want to hear this! It was supposed to be a secret! What was GLaDOS going to say? Oh god, where was GLaDOS? Her hear flipped over, and she shot up like a startled fox, her eyes darting around the room.

"She's out in the garage. Don't worry. She's got plenty to do out there." Mrs Keegan soothed, pushing the tea cup back into the girl's hands.

It only ended up sloshing about in the cup, as she couldn't keep her trembling limbs still. And that horrible flush in her cheeks just wouldn't go away either. Why did it have to feel like someone was stabbing her eyes with a hundred tiny pins? This was terrible. Worse than neurotoxin. Gulping down the scalding tea with a wince so she could throw the cup back on the table and bury her face in her hands once more, she soon found two arms wrapping themselves around her.

"Shhh, honey. You don't need to be embarrassed. I understand why you did what you did. You were just lonely, that's all. From what you've told me about where you come from, I take it there weren't too many humans around to take care of those needs for you. But you don't have to worry about that anymore. There's a young man across the road who thinks the world of you, sweet cheeks. He's always askin' after you." She pointed out. "He'd make a great husband one day, but you're always cooped up in that little room of yours. You need to get out and see the world. Go on a date with him. You'll see. Because if you stick with this, it's going to start bein' a real problem. Hell, when I found you wanderin' along that road, I thought you must have had something awful happen to you. I didn't know it at the time, but you had this in your hand then. You went to see her, didn't you?"

A weathered finger hooked onto a scrap of black lace sticking out of Chell's pocket, and held it up for her to see.

As soon as Chell recognized the garter, her blush only deepened into a darker scarlet, and she snatched the lacy loop from her. How dare she touch that! Clutching it tightly under her chin, the former test subject kept her eyes firmly affixed to the floor so she didn't have to see the judgement in her eyes.

"You didn't look too good back then, sweet cheeks. Has she been hurtin' you?" Mrs Keegan softly queried, rubbing the flushed skin upon the back of the girl's neck as she sat there hunched over and looking miserably pathetic. "It's okay to admit it. We can get you some help."

Chell crushed a hand to her forehead to try and stop the headache she knew was coming, her eyes closed just as tightly.

"I don't want this. I don't want it."

"Shhh. It's okay."

The little part of Caroline that was still within twisted and churned as she heard those words; a stabbing prick of rage burbling up within the chest of the AI, who stood at the doorway of the living room. Unable to link her processing commands with her speakers, she found herself choking silently on her own words as she remained unseen by the two horrid little apes sitting on the couch. Stepping backwards, her high heels muffled by the carpet, GLaDOS returned to the garage with a shaky step that even she found to be untrustworthy.

Smeared in grease and dust and with her sleeves rolled up to her elbows, the normally cool and collected AI found herself clutching the edge of the work bench as she trembled with unadulterated fury.

Didn't want it?

Didn't want it?

What was the it she didn't want? Was it her? Or was it the relationship, however weird and twisted it was? Hah! She was referring to it as a relationship. That was great. Now she'd really blown a fuse somewhere. The lunatic was turning her crazy now too. But either way, GLaDOS still couldn't unhear what she'd just heard. With teeth clenched together tightly, the artificially intelligent supercomputer struggled to reign in the surge of emotion that shot through her. Having a human in her was terrible. She could feel Caroline in there. And she was hurting too.

The wooden bench groaned under the grip of the android as it threatened to splinter under the stress placed on it.

Blue-grey eyes then turned to the little music box she'd dug out of the mess and tore apart. Instead of the stupid little ballerina on top it had a mini turret she'd made out of scrap pieces of metal and plastic that were lying around. It had been Caroline's idea of something to leave around for Chell to find. It wasn't the sterile white of Aperture, but it would do. Or would have done, had [Subject Name Here] not been such a horrible person.

Really, what should she have expected?

It was written in her file.

GLaDOS struck out at the terrible idea for a gift and watched as it fell to pieces on the floor. Somehow most of it remained intact, though the noise it was tinkling out was warped and distorted. It hadn't taken her long to rework the tune when she'd found the thing, but the strains of Cara Mia could clearly be heard as the music box struggled to play it before it died.

Nothing that a bit of glue wouldn't fix.

Flopping back into the chair, GLaDOS buried her face in her hand.

She wished it was that easy.