They all woke up in the morning, eventually. Sakura had to prod Sasuke awake, as he was repeatedly stabbing his pillow and talking in his sleep. "Die Itachi, die!" However, they quickly discovered that something was strange.

"Why are we all wearing birthday hats?" asked Neji.

"Ahhhh! Evil hat monster is eating my head! Believe it!" yelled Naruto running around in circles. "I can feel it sucking out my braaaaaaaaaain!"

"Actually, I think it's just the author's birthday today and she is using her godlike powers over us to make us wear these hats." said Mika. (hey, didn't I tell you not to break the fourth wall?)

"Oh no! Not a birthday! Every birthday is a sign that you have lost yet another year of youth! Oh, what a tragedy!" wailed Lee.

"Actually, I kind of like the hat. It's pointy." said Kankuro, trying to impale a nearby smiley face with his hat. "Look at me, I'm a unicorn!"

"Soooooo, does this mean we get cake?" asked Choji. "I'm hungry."

"Hey, I can't eat cake, I'm watching my figure! Well, maybe just a little." said Ino. (Hmm, the author has decided to be benevolent today. Cake for all!"

"Woo!" said Sasuke. Over cake, the conversation quickly turned to how to escape from the evil camp and its equally evil counselor.

"I think we should build a giant balloon, and use it to float away! Yeah! Believe it!" said Naruto through a mouthful of cake.

"Ummm, Naruto? I, umm, don't think that would work?" ventured Hinata timidly.

"Of course you're right! What was I thinking! Let's all listen to Hinata, because she's so smart!" said Naruto, staring adoringly up at her and causing her to blush.

"Well, whatever happens, I'm sure that my Sasuke wasuke can keep us safe!" said Sakura.

"Yes, and so can my Neji weji!" said Tenten. The two boys exchanged glances.

"So, do you think you're up to that Sasuke wasuke?" sneered Neji.

"Well obviously I am. But what about you, Neji weji?" he asked with a smirk.

"Well of course. Luckily, my byakugan gives me enough of an edge to defeat just about anything."

"Yeah, well so does my sharingan."

"Yes, I suppose it's useful enough, but the byakugan is obviously superior."

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Oh yeah? Well my sharingan once defeated whole group of sound ninja at once."

"My byakugan can defeat whole teams of ninja at once."

"My sharingan could defeat the akatsuki!"

"My byakugan could defeat a hundred s class missing nin!"

"My sharingan could defeat five hundred anbu!"

"Sorry, did I say a hundred? I meant a thousand!"

"Ten thousand!"

"A hundred thousand!"

"FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND!"

"A MILLION!!"

"TEN MILLION!!!"

"A HUNDRED MILLION!!!!"

"INFINITY!"

"INFINITY PLUS ONE!"

"There's no such number idiot."

"Oh yeah? Your mom."

"What?"

"Uhh, I mean, baka!"

"Baka yourself!"

"Prepare to face the awesome power of my byakugan!"

"Well my sharingan can just copy everything you do anyway!"

"Oh it's on!"

"You want somma this? Huh? Huh? Bring it!" However, they were both whacked on the heads by their respective girlfriends.

"Stop being silly, the counselor will hear you fighting and come find us." said Tenten.

"Yeah, you don't want that, do you?" asked Sakura.

"No." mumbled the boys.

"Now say you're sorry." prompted Tenten.

"Sorry." muttered Neji.

"Now you say you're sorry." said Sakura.

"Sorry." muttered Sasuke.

"For what?" chorused the girls.

"For making fun of your sharingan."

"For picking a fight with you."

"Good, now kiss and make up for the camera!" said Mika. "Make sure to look like you mean it!"

"No!" snapped Neji and Sasuke together.

"Aww come on, do you know how much i could sell this stuff for?" asked Mika. "people love yaoi!"

"You mean...me? With him?" asked Neji disbelievingly.

"Like, together? That's just gross!" snapped Sasuke.

"No, it's really popular, look!" said Mika, handing them a conveniently placed laptop on a page full of SasuNeji slash fanfics. Foolishly, they looked.

"AGH AGH MY EYES! THEY BURN!!" yelled Neji running around in circles.

"THE PAIN! MAKE IT STOP!" yelled Sasuke trying to claw his eyes out.

"Hey, where did that laptop come from?" wondered Shikamaru aloud to no one in particular.

"Wimps." muttered Gaara. "Going crazy over a little story." Mika casually nudged the laptop, now on a page with GaaraLee fanfics in front of his face. "NOOOO! THE, HE, I, IT! AGH! IT DOESN'T, MRRRAGH! I DID NOT NEED THAT MENTAL IMAGE! I MUST BURY MY HEAD IN THE SAND AND HOPE IT GOES AWAY!!" The sand from his gourd came out to bury him in a pile. Mika snickered.

"Ahhh, this is fun." said Mika happily to herself.

"PAYBACK!" yelled Sasuke and Neji,shoving an OroKabu fic in front of her. She stared.

"Hey, this is good stuff! Know where I can get more of this?" They groaned.

"Give me that!" snapped Kabuto. He ran his eyes over the page. "Urrgh. This I'm burning."

"Awww." muttered Mika sounding dissapointed.

"Oh?" he said. "Well maybe I can give you something better."

"Hmm?"

He leaned over and kissed her, pulling her closer to him to continue the kiss long past the simple thing it had began as. He broke it only to whisper "Are those pesky readers still watching?" Mika grinned.

"Not for long."

"Good."

fade to black

What, can't I give myself a birthday present? I'm turning sixteen incidentally! Woo! blows noisemaker Awesome, huh? Yay! Hence it is a chapter of self given gifts, both for me and you. But mostly for me. Hey, at least you don't have to unwrap anything!