Author's Notes: Hey guys. So, I'm just going to say that basically the rest of the story is going to be a Trigger Warning as Cat will be dealing with the repercussions of what happened for a fair number of chapters, as well as suffering from rape trauma syndrome for the remainder of the story.
Also, I tried to do a lot of research on the subject but I still might get some details wrong about the procedures carried out at the hospital for a victim of sexual assault. I'm sorry. I tried my best. Details with the interrogation may be sketchy as well, but I'm being honest when I say some interrogations really do go that way.
Disclaimer: It's probably still too early to be making jokes. Maybe next chapter. I don't own Victorious.
"Okay, Miss Valentine. Close your eyes while we take some pictures of the damage for the case file." The police photographer says. Not like it's hard to close my eyes. My face has swollen that much. I just want to get treated. A few clicks of a camera later and I struggle to open my eyes. I meet Tori's, whose standing behind the photographer. She's been such an amazing support through this. Like my own personal body guard. Every time she doesn't like the way someone is handling me, she steps in and bites their head off.
"Are you finished?" Tori asks the photographer.
"Yeah, that should be everything." She says. Tori walks over to me and offers her arm, which I take gratefully.
"Good, because we need to get her some ice. C'mon, Cat." Tori encourages me. We walk back to my urgent care room and I sit on the bed. I've grown accustomed to doing deep breathing exercises now to keep myself calmed down. "How are you feeling?" Tori asks.
"Sore." I state. She nods and goes out into the hallway. She looks around for a moment before seeing something and walking in that direction. I hear her voice.
"Excuse me, can I get a bag of ice for my friend, and maybe some pain killers? She's in bad shape." She asks an unseen nurse.
"Of course. I'll grab her something right away." The nurse voice answers. Tori comes back into the room and sits in the chair beside the stretcher-bed thing.
"Thanks, Tori." I mumble.
"Hey, I'm here for you." She assures me. I give her a small smile. Her dad walks in.
"Oh, there you are." He says. Tori stands up.
"Any news?" She asks.
"Derek is still denying any allegations. I'm going to need your phone for that phone call." Tori's dad requests.
"For sure. Anything that helps to make sure he never does this again." She glowers, handing him the phone.
"I'm glad you had the right mind to record this." He says.
"I guess you learn stuff when your dad is a cop." Tori shrugs. Her dad chuckles before turning to me.
"The doctor will be in to see you, soon. He'll walk you through all the standard procedures." He explains.
"Um…" I start.
"Yes, Cat? Feel free to ask me anything." He offers.
"Can we… keep this hidden from the news and stuff? I don't want this to be so… out in the open." I say, biting my lip. He gives me a pitying smile.
"I wouldn't worry about that. If the local news did stories on every sexual assault that happens in L.A., that's all the news would be about." He explains. Tori's eyebrows furrow in contempt.
"That's despicable." She mutters.
"Such is the kind of world we live in. And I'm not saying that makes it okay. As a cop, you definitely sometimes get off of work hating the world a little more." He sighs. "Anyway, your parents have been contacted, Cat. They were pretty upset, but they're going to be on their way as soon as possible."
"Okay…" I whimper. I'm so scared to face them. Tori again carefully touches my arm in comfort.
"And again, you're going to have to give a full report eventually. I was able to pull some strings to convince them to hold off on questioning you for tonight, but you'll probably have to tomorrow." He says.
"Alright." I nod. Just then, a nurse and a doctor walk into the room.
"Cat Valentine, victim of aggressive sexual assault." The doctor reads off a clip board. The nurse hands me a bag of ice, a small cup of water, and some Tylenol. I take all of it gratefully.
"I'm going to go down to the cafeteria and grab some coffee. Do you or Cat want anything?" Mr. Vega asks Tori. I shake my head.
"No thanks, dad. Not right now." Tori answers.
"Alright. I'll check back later." He says, leaving the room. The nurse follows behind. The doctor looks up from his chart. I'm holding the ice pack against my damaged eye, trying to feel sweet relief.
"Sorry. I know you just put that on, but I'll need you to remove it for a second. I need to examine the area." The doctor says. I groan and lower the bag. He moves close, which makes me nervous, but luckily he doesn't touch me. He just shines a small light in my eye. "No sign of concussion. Several face lacerations, though. The ice will help the swelling. It should clear up in about a week." The doctor assures.
"Thank you." I say.
"Now, in terms of the attack. Was there penetration?" The doctor asks. I tense up a little.
"Yes." I mumble.
"Are you on any form of birth control?" He asks.
"No." I state.
"When was the last time you had your period?"
I feel uncomfortable answering these questions, but I know it's just routine. I have to think for a moment. "About three weeks ago, I think."
"Alright, I'll need you to take this pill." He says, pulling out a plan b pill. "We'll also need a urine sample and a PAP. Don't worry, it's just precautionary." He explains. I flush.
"Okay." I agree. The urine sample was fine. I really needed to go to the bathroom anyway. But the PAP was… difficult. They couldn't get near me without me freaking out.
"Now relax, honey." One of the nurses says soothingly. "It'll just be quick – in and out. You won't even feel it."
"I know. I'm sorry. I just… I don't know… I can't." I whimper.
"It's okay. We're going to try again, alright?" She says. I nod nervously. I try to relax, but as soon as they get close, my heart beat rises and I flashback to Derek. I start thrashing about. I nearly kick a nurse in the face.
"Alright, we might have to restrain her." Says one of the nurses, getting out straps. My eyes widen and I start to panic.
"No! Please! Please don't!" I cry. The nurse with the straps gives a frustrated huff.
"What do you supposed we do, then?" She grumbles. The nicer nurse glares at the nurse with the straps.
"Think about what she's been through, Meredith. This can't be easy." She snaps. She turns to me and smiles. "We really need this sample. Is there any way you can think of to make yourself more comfortable?"
"Tori… can you get me Tori?" I request.
"Certainly. Whose Tori?" She asks.
"She's my friend out in the hall. Long brown hair." I describe. The nice nurse nods to Meredith, who leaves into the hallway. I lower my legs so she doesn't have to see anything. A moment later, Meredith returns with a concerned looking Tori.
"Hey, Cat." She says. She walks up beside me. "What do you need me to do?" She asks. I envelope her hand in mine, squeezing it tightly.
"I need you to protect me." I state. She nods and squeezes my hand back. Politely, she turns her head away as the nurses again try to get a sample from me. I let out a squeak and I turn my head into Tori's torso. I shut my eyes tight and try to block out the images of Derek. Just think of Tori. Tori is here. Tori won't let anything bad happen to me…
"Alright, all done." Meredith says. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and relax my body, releasing Tori's hand. She winces and flexes it.
"Sorry." I say.
"It's okay. Even if you broke my hand, at least we're in a hospital." Tori smiles. I smile back, letting out a light giggle. This makes her smile widen.
"We'll send this to the lab. Please wait in your room for the results." The nice nurse says. I nod and both Tori and I leave together.
"I wish I didn't have to wear this hospital gown. I feel so exposed." I grumble.
"It's just for a little while longer." She assures me.
"I wish it had pictures of cupcakes or teddy bears on them at least." I sigh.
"Maybe I'll go steal you one from the pediatrics unit later." She teases. I smile at her and let out a little giggle. I'm feeling a little better. Then we turn into the urgent care room, where my grief stricken parents are waiting. My face falls.
"Oh, Cat, baby…" My mom breathes before breaking down crying. My dad turns away from me, clawing his hands through his hair.
"I'll leave you guys alone. I'll be in the cafeteria with my dad if you need me." Tori whispers, squeezing my hand. I nod as she turns to leave. I look at my parents and feel completely at a loss for words. What have I done to them?
"Mom… dad… it's okay. I'm alright." I try to assure them.
"No you're not, honey. Our poor baby was violated and mutilated." My mom sobs. It breaks my heart.
"By that jackass." My dad growls, hitting a nearby wall.
"Stop that. You'll upset her." My mom snaps.
"Well I don't know what to do. I couldn't protect my daughter. I thought that asshole was dependable." He argues.
"We should've been more careful…" My mom cries.
"Stop. Just stop." I mutter. "I need my parents now. You can't change what happened. I just need help moving on."
"Of course, dear." My mom agrees. Both my parents envelop me in a hug and cry. I would cry too, but I feel all cried out for the day. I just stand there, un-moving with a lump in my throat. Panic starts to rise in me, and I don't know why. The hug is making me feel so uncomfortable... Luckily, we hear a knock on the door. My parents let me go and we turn to see the doctor standing in the doorway.
"Are you the girl's parents?" The doctor asks.
"Yes, doctor." My dad answers.
"I want to talk to you both in the hall. Cat, you can stay here and relax." He says to me. My parents leave with him, but I lean against the wall by the door, and crane my head trying to listen.
"-get the results of the tests yet?" I hear my mom ask.
"Not yet. But there's a more pressing issue. My nurses reported to me that your daughter acted out during the PAP test. This could show that she has formed some sort of psychological issues involving being touched, especially in intimate places." The doctor explains.
"What does that mean for my daughter?" My dad asks.
"Well, it could be temporary, seeing as the incident just happened. Or, it could be an ailment she suffers from the rest of her life. Either way, I think it would be best to get her psychologically assessed. And I'd recommend her to seeing a therapist or social worker to help her work through her issues." The doctor proclaims.
That would explain my reactions to the towel, the PAP, and how I feel when I'm hugged. I don't want to be psychologically damaged. "We can give you the name of her therapist. She sees him already for her ADHD." My mom offers.
"Yes, we have records that she's been confined in the psych ward here at the hospital before…" The doctor recalls.
"She what?" My dad gasps.
"Oh, nothing. Whole thing was a misunderstanding. Anyway, you should probably talk to her about this. We can't make her see anybody regarding this issue without her consent. After all, it is quite a sensitive topic to open up about." The doctor says.
"I'll do it." I say, stepping away from the door. My parents look at me shocked, but the doctor seems generally unsurprised. "But I want to see Lane Alexander."
"Isn't that your school guidance councillor, sweetie?" My mom asks.
"Yeah… I feel like I know him better than my own therapist. Plus I can see him any time during the day once school starts up again." I explain.
"Whatever makes you comfortable." My dad says.
"Glad that's settled, then. I'm going to pop into the lab to check on your results." The doctor states as he leaves. Me and my parents silently go into the room and wait there awkwardly. I wish I had my phone so I could text Tori, but I left my phone behind at Derek's. Then I realize that wouldn't even work since the police have Tori's phone… I miss Tori.
The tests came back clear. No STD's or anything. I'd have to come back later to get a conclusive pregnancy test done, but I feel pretty confident that I'd receive no long term affects from this. Well, other than psychological, I guess. I get discharged and I'm about to leave with my parents, but I stop in at the cafeteria on the way out.
"Hi, Tori." I greet her. She's sitting with her dad but she stands up immediately when she sees me walk up.
"Hey, have they released you?" She asks.
"Yep. Didn't even have to do a dance number to escape this time." I joke. She chuckles.
"Well, good. Everything check out okay?" She asks.
"Yeah everything's fine. Fit as a fiddle. I don't even know what that means. How can a fiddle be fit? Does it go to the gym?" I ramble. She laughs and lets out a sigh of relief.
"I'm glad you can still be yourself after everything." She smiles.
"Thank you for everything today, Tori." I say, snaking my arms around her waist in a hug. She gently and cautiously returns the hug. I think she caught on to my nervousness of human contact during the PAP experience.
"I wish I could've done more." She mutters.
"Don't be silly. If you had done any more for me today, you would be wonder woman." I retort, releasing her after the constricted feeling comes back. I really hope this problem isn't permanent…
"I'll work on getting a magical golden lasso, then." Tori jokes. I let out another giggle.
"It's late now. You and your dad should go home." I tell her.
"Right. We will." Tori says.
"I'll be in contact with you tomorrow about the interrogation." Her dad says.
"Okay, thanks Mr. Vega." I say gratefully.
"You're important to my little girl, so I'll do whatever I can to make this go as smoothly as possible." He states.
"We really appreciate it, officer." My dad says. I give Tori one more quick hug before leaving with my parents.
It was a long, silent drive to my house in the car. It was just past 9:00pm and I'm exhausted and hungry. My mom says she'll warm something up for me while I take a shower. I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I feel so dirty, and used. Even the hot water and soap can't cleanse how I'm feeling inside. The water stings my wounds, and it makes me flash back to being slapped across the face multiple times. I slump down in the shower and curl up, mortified.
Disgusting. Filthy. Garbage.
These words swirl in my head as I tremble on the shower floor. Eventually I hear a knock on the door. "Cat, honey? It's been a while. Are you doing alright?" My dad's voice calls in. I quickly gather myself together.
"Yeah, dad. I'm fine." I call back.
"Okay. Well, finish up, soon. Your mom has dinner ready."
"Kay, kay. Thanks." I shout, pushing myself off the ground. I turn off the water, carefully dry myself with a towel and head to my room. I slip on some warm PJ's, and I think before I go to eat, I'll just lie down on my bed for a minute.
Just for a minute.
I open my eyes, and Derek's standing there with that lustful look on his face. I try to scream. I try to move. But nothing comes out, and I'm paralyzed. He moves closer to me. He's a giant. He pushes against me as I let out another silent scream. He opens his mouth wide, revealing teeth like a shark. It stretches wide and his head swoops down to mine, ready to swallow me whole.
I jolt awake screaming. It's dark, and I can't see. Where is he? He was just here. I'm drenched in sweat, screaming and thrashing. The light flicks on as my parents barrel into the room.
"Cat! Cat, sweetie, what's wrong?!" One of them asks. I'm still frantically thrashing.
"He's in my room! Get him away!" I cry out. My dad tries to grab onto me but a quickly hit him in the chest. I'm hysterical.
"Cat, it's okay. It was just a nightmare. Everything's alright. You're safe." My mom assures me. I take a moment but soon I go into deep breathing, and begin to think more clearly. Just a dream. But it felt so real. I look at the worried looks on my parent's faces. My dad is clutching is chest in pain.
"S-sorry!" I apologize. I still feel disoriented.
"No problem. My fault. It was dumb of me to try and get control of you like that." He coughs.
"Are you okay, sweetheart?" My mom asks.
"No." I admit. My parents exchange a look.
"I'm going to get you a glass of water." My mom says. She quickly shuffles out and my dad sits on the end of my bed. We're both still breathing heavily.
"I'm going to take off work tomorrow. I don't want to leave you here alone." He states.
"I'll be fine. I have to go to the police station anyway. You have to work toward that big promotion, remember?" I argue.
"Yeah, but… I'm just worried. When you were in the bathroom for so long earlier I was afraid you had-"
"I'm not suicidal, dad." I mumble.
"Maybe not, but I don't know what's going through your mind right now. You kind of have a… fragile psyche. You always have." He explains awkwardly.
"Yes but I get over things quickly, too." I say.
"This might be different-"
"Just… stop." I sigh. "I just want to take things one day at a time."
"Alright, dear." He concedes. My mom enters the room with a glass of cold water, which I drink greedily.
"Sorry I missed dinner." I say.
"It's okay. You were tired. I understand. I'll make you a big breakfast in the morning. Try to get some sleep now." My mom says, patting my head. They both leave and I curl up in my covers again. I don't sleep very well. I don't sleep at all.
The next morning my mom delivered with a batch of cinnamon pancakes and bowls of fruit. Not long after breakfast, I get a call from the police station.
"Hello, is this Cat Valentine?" The man over the phone asks.
"Yes." I answer.
"We're going to need you to come in for questioning around 11:00am today." He drawls.
"O-okay." I agree.
"Great. Bye." Click.
"Um, so I need to be at the station for eleven…" I tell my parents.
"I'll be able to take you there, but I don't know if I'll be able to drive you home…" My mom says.
"That's alright. I'll figure something out." I claim.
At eleven I arrive at the police station. I'm surprised to see Tori's dad waiting for me in the front entrance.
"Hello, Cat. I wanted to talk to you before you go into the interrogation room." He says.
"Will you be questioning me?" I ask.
"Unfortunately, no. Too much of a conflict of interest. I just needed to warn you that it might be a little long and rough." He sighs.
"Oh. Okay. I figured." I say.
"And don't take some of their questions too personally. There's some questions they have to ask for policy reasons." He explains.
"Are they going to accuse me?" I gasp.
"Not exactly… I can't really discuss it further. I'm sorry." He sighs.
"Cat Valentine?" A voice calls out.
"That's me." I say to the cop who called my name.
"Come with me." He says.
"Good luck." Mr. Vega wishes as I walk away. I follow the cop into a large hallway and we enter a door on the left. It's a dark room with a window looking into another larger, slightly lighter room. The cop leads me into the lighter room, where there's a table, chair, and a bottle of water sitting on the table. There's four people in the room. One is the cop that brought me in. Another is a big tough guy standing by the door. Probably to make sure I don't run, or get violent. A man in a brown suit is standing in a corner. I don't know who he is. Finally, there's another male cop standing in front of the table.
"Please, take a seat." The officer in front of the table says. I comply and sit down. This is a really intimidating space. It's so much better watching this on TV. "I'm Dan. This is my partner, Phil." Dan says, gesturing to the man who brought me in.
"We'll be questioning you today about the incident that took place yesterday." Phil chimes in. They then read me my rights.
"Let me remind you that the more honest you are with us, the faster we can get this case under wraps." Dan explains. I nod.
"Was there insertion?" Phil asks.
"Yes." I answer.
"Where?" Phil asks.
"Um, vaginal." I mutter.
"Is that the only place? Not orally or anally?" Dan asks.
"No."
"Were you in a relationship with the assailant?" Phil asks.
"Yes. Or… I thought I was." I say.
"Can you elaborate?" Phil asks. I explain how Derek had been tricking me for a month and a half in order to try and sleep with me.
"And when you refused, he became aggressive which is when the rape took place." Dan put together.
"Correct."
"Were you under the influence of anything immediately prior to the attack?" Phil asks.
"Under the influence?" I ask incredulously.
"Drugs, alcohol…" Dan explains.
"No, of course not." I scoff.
"I have to ask, Miss. He could have drugged you." Dan tells me.
"He tried to." I mumble.
"Did he?" Dan asks.
"Several times." I say.
"Can you tell us of a specific time when he attempted to drug you?" Phil requests.
"No… I don't know. I don't remember." I groan.
"And even though he tried to drug you in the past, you stayed with him?" Dan says.
"I didn't know he was trying to drug me. He told me he did just before he raped me." I grumble.
"Did you ever consent to intercourse with the assailant?" Phil asks.
"No. I told him to stop several times." I explain.
"Based on your clothing choices and actions, is there a chance you may have been trying to seduce him?" Phil says.
"What?! No! Of course not. I wasn't trying to do anything. He told me his grandmother died, and then he forced himself on me." I snap.
"Calm down, Miss. We were merely asking." Dan states. I let out a breath.
"Instead of reporting to the police or going to the hospital immediately, what did you do?" Phil asks.
"I went to a friend's house to change and clean up." I answer.
"Are you aware that is tampering with evidence? There could have been substances on your body that would have helped the case." Phil scolds.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"Were you trying to hide something?" Dan asks. Now I feel really insulted. I cross my arms and slump in my chair.
"No. All I was thinking about how this guy just violated me and I wanted his sweat and blood off me." I growl.
"How did his blood get on you?" Phil asks.
"I don't know. I guess from me scratching him and elbowing him in the nose." I huff. "But it was in self defense." I add quickly.
"The records show that the assailant was brought in with a broken nose and several cuts on the face and arms." Phil says to Dan.
"Good." I mumble. They ask me a bunch more questions, probing me to reveal the details of the attack. By the end, I was crying.
"I think we have enough information." Dan sighs.
"You're free to go, Miss." Phil says.
"Thank you." I sniff. I push up off my chair and exit the room. I head back into the lobby and see Tori's dad again. I storm up to him. "You have some nice friends there." I accuse. Mr. Vega gives my tear stained face a shocked look, but then it turns into pity.
"They're just doing their jobs, Cat." He explains.
"Does doing their jobs include making me feel like I motivated Derek to rape me?" I shout. The entire lobby turns to stare at me, and Mr. Vega quickly ushers me to the side, gesturing to tone it down.
"I know. It's messed up. But we have to look at it from every angle. Don't worry, there's no way Derek is going to get away with this. Even if he denies it his whole life, the evidence is stacked against him." He assures.
"I still think it was wrong the way they treated me." I mumble.
"I'm sorry about that. I know something that might make you feel better, though." He says. He then pulls out a bag and hands it to me. I reach in the bag to pull out my Pear Phone.
"You got it back?" I ask.
"Yeah, fully charged it myself, too. Technically it's very illegal to take anything from the scene of a crime, so don't tell anyone, okay?" He winks.
"Okay." I smile.
"Now you can call someone to pick you up without spending change on those blasted payphones." He jokes.
"Actually, I don't think anyone can come get me." I admit.
"Oh, well then I'll just call Tori." He offers, pulling out his own phone.
"No, you don't have to." I say, although I really do want to see her again.
"Nonsense. Tori couldn't stop talking about how worried she was about you. I'm pretty sure I even heard her say your name while she was sleeping last night." He explains. I blush at that. "She'll be happy to help you out."
"Well, okay." I agree, still blushing.
"Hi, Trina? Put your sister on the phone… No, I will not buy you that jean jacket on my way home… No, we are not turning this into a birth year. Put your sister on the phone. Trina. Trina. Okay, maybe a jean jacket if you put your sister on the phone right now. Thank you… Hi, Tori. Yeah, I'm at the station. Cat's here… It's hard to tell. Why don't you come here and see her? She needs a ride home… Whoa, okay, hold your horses. Can you do me a favour? Tell Trina I'm not getting her a jean jacket…" Mr. Vega suddenly rips the phone away from his ear as I hear Trina's screech over the phone. He quickly presses the end button and turns to me. "She's on her way." He breathes.
"Thanks, Mr. Vega." I giggle.
"No problem, Cat. I have to get back to work now. You can wait for Tori on that bench by the door." He tells me.
"Kay, kay." I nod and wave goodbye. I sit silently on the bench, people watching. I wonder how many of these people are convicted criminals… Then I have a scary thought. Is Derek here? What if I run into him? I never want to see his face again. If I ever see that look in his eye again… Oh, my god. I'm about to panic.
That's when Tori rushes through the front door. She frantically looks around.
"Tori!" I call out, bounding up to her. She turns and gives me a big smile.
"There you are, Cat." She sighs. She gently touches my cheek, but quickly removes it. "Your bruises look better."
"Thanks. I iced all morning." I beam proudly.
"Come on, let's get out of here." She chuckles.
"Please." I groan, grabbing her arm and dragging ourselves out into the sunlight.
Author's Notes: So, there's the follow-up chapter. I did a lot of research on this... research that required a lot of breaks in between. It's heavy stuff, and I'm trying to make it as realistic as possible. I don't want to sugar-coat it, because, well... I feel like that would be disrespectful.
Cat's going to have a rough time, but I gave her a pretty healthy out-look, for the most part. She's upset, but I think she has a stronger character than people give her credit for.
Fun Fact: I really can't think of one, especially since not much in this chapter is very fun. So, I'm just going to say Ariana Grande tweeted me once. That was pretty cool.