Editor: Callisto

Author's Notes: Hi, guys. This is the ninth chapter of Memoirs: Bane's Story. That means only one more chapter!! OmR! I hope everyone understands the multiple personalities thing. If you don't...don't review me going 'LYK OMG!! i dun unnstad!!' Mk? There are some references to my pairing, very very slight, but they're there. Also don't review me going 'Terrormaw ish nawt IN DA STORREH!!' Sorry. I'm not good at imitating n00bs.

After this story and Heaven and Hell is done I've decided I'm going to work on Gnawers of the Underland, which is a collection of short essays about my theories of general gnawer life. I will publish chapters of that on Tuesdays. I'm also going to do the 100 Fic Challenge and I'll put those out whenever I feel like it.

Mk? Good. Go read.

"Where has my heart gone
An uneven trade for the real world
Oh I...I want to go back to
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all."

Memoirs: Bane's Story.

Chapter 9. At the Wall.

Time passed. I know this only because at some point I had slept, exhausted by the events of the past few...days? Weeks? Months? None of it mattered really, it has all been blurred and confused beyond recognition. I suppose if I wanted to I could have found out how long it had been from one of my soldiers. They should know, if not the date, then at least how long it has been since we left the Fire Lands.

Some time ago we left the land where flames erupt from the ground and the very air itself threatens to kill. I liked it there for some odd reason, but as I sat in the cave outside of Regalia I was looking forward to what was soon to come. I stared greedily at the city, last time I was here I had been much younger and far less powerful. Now I led armies, now I was strong, reaching close to eleven feet tall. Now I came to this wretched human city as it's conqueror and not as Ripred's charge.

"Bane?" Twirltongue walked up to me, she looked rather curious, or maybe concerned would be the right word, "You have been staring at the city for hours now."

Hours…the word had no meaning for me. It was some kind of measure of time, but I couldn't grasp it exactly. Twirltongue implied that it was a rather great length, and I trusted her on that even though it felt like I had only set eyes on the city moments before.

"Are you feeling well?" Again she spoke to me, slightly apprehensive. Her worry was evident in her clear eyes and the paw she placed on my leg, the only part of me she could reach. Finally, I turned from my silent vigil. I stared at her for a couple moments trying to rid myself of the vision of Regalia that had imprinted itself on my mind. Perhaps I had been gazing at the city for too long.

I blinked a couple times and then replied, "I feel fine, just anxious I suppose…for the battle to begin."

The diminutive silver gnawer smiled her mysterious half-smile, "Of course, we all are anxious. Perhaps it will calm you to know that you will not have to fight."

The look of disbelief on my face made her smile a little wider, but I did not find any of this amusing in the slightest. "What do you mean I won't be fighting? I'm the Bane, what would my soldiers think if I did not take the field?" Twirltongue looked as if she was about to respond, but I cut her off and answered my own question, "They would think I'm a coward."

"No, Bane…how could you think that?" She looked genuinely hurt, "I would never put you in a position that would compromise your honor or question your bravery. This decision is purely tactical and your soldiers know that."

I was silent for a while, and Twirltongue seemed to take that as a sign that I was considering her words. What she had said was being considered, but not by me. Ridiculous. They mean for the Bane to take the field and decimate the humans. If you do not show the humans will believe you are frightened. Your own soldiers will whisper that you are unworthy to lead the gnawers.

"I suppose you are right," I conceded to Twirltongue, more to spite the voice than because I actually believed her words. I had never known Twirltongue to lead me astray, but hiding…it was just so unnatural. I wanted to fight. I had been feeling caged and restless for so long, and I knew the only way to stop this feeling was to escape. Ravage the city of Regalia, and claim it for my own. Saliva pooled within my mouth at the thought of the feeling of human flesh in my jaws, the sweet salty taste of human blood. Every nerve ending in my body was going wild, sparking and jumping in anticipation of the kill that was not to come. A shiver ran through me.

"Do not worry, my dear one," Twirltongue assured me kindly, stroking my white fur. "You will have your chance indeed. I promise you that if the Warrior takes the field I will not stop you from going out to meet him. After all, it is your right to slay your mother's murderer."

My jaws snapped at the mention of the Warrior, I couldn't help but imagine the feeling of him in my teeth. Soon, soon, my pet, the voice told me, I will handle him when the time comes.

"Leave me," I commanded Twirltongue abruptly. She looked taken aback, but acquiesced gracefully and left me to my thoughts. I nibbled thoughtfully on my tail for a few moments. It's a habit that I've had since I was very young, it relaxes me some how, and helps me think.

A few nights ago the voice and I had had a long conversation. It was a bit of a one sided conversation, but I had learned all that I needed to know from it. I closed my burning red eyes, and pressed my head against the cold stone of the cave.

I needed him. I hated him with a passion, but I needed him. Without him I couldn't hope to defeat the Warrior, and after a little while I accepted this. I didn't like it, not at all, but it was the truth. I was not as foolish as Ripred always said, I didn't think I was invincible because of my white fur. I was far from invincible, and it took me a while to realize that, but in the end I did. I was not bred to war, I didn't grow up preparing for it. Looking back I know that every victory I ever had was because of the voice, because of what he did to me when I let my emotions rage out of control.

In those moments of weakness the voice, who is more of a presence than anything, could slip through the barrier that separated me from him. My body was at his command, and I was the one stuck helpless in the back of my own mind. No matter how unwilling I was, we shared this body, this mind. Half the time I wasn't even certain if my thoughts were my own. A couple nights ago we came to an agreement, he would allow me to keep control in normal situations, and I would let him out when I needed him. Battle was his element, and with his help I would win any fight that I attempted. My hatred toward him never changed, but we settled into something of an uneasy truce.

XXXXX

Gnawers are traditionally the hunters of the Underland, feared beyond all others. The humans call the gnawers vicious and bloodthirsty, they deem the way we wage war to be uncivilized and barbaric. I grew up thinking that the gnawers were the most ferocious race in the whole of the Underland. I thought that we had no equal when it came to warfare. I stared at my armies as they vainly assaulted the walls of the human's city of Regalia, and realized that the humans were truly the monsters.

Something was being poured on my fighters from the walls of the city. Something hot by the screams of pain coming from the gnawers assaulting the wall. I gritted my teeth angrily, it was all I could do not to rush out there myself.

"Twirltongue said to stay here," I reminded myself quietly.

Did Twirltongue say to watch them die? He was antagonizing me, and I was sure that he didn't really care for the gnawers out there dying. I was infuriated by the way the humans were tormenting my soldiers, and he wanted to push me over the edge until would surrender my control to him.

I probably would have made it through the battle without disobeying Twirltongue's wishes. That is, if the humans hadn't dropped the torches. Only two, not really that many, but they had been thrown from the walls on the gnawers that had been doused in scalding oil. The two gnawers that were unlucky enough to be ignited burst immediately into flame. The screams were unbearable, and the smell of burning flesh and fur could be smelled even from my hiding place. That made me snap, and every bit of self control that I had been grasping at left me.

My eyes closed, and I could practically feel him clawing at my consciousness to get in control.

I grinned viciously, delighted by the chance at freedom again. That pitiful whelp had no idea what to do with himself, or the strong body he was given. I, on the other hand, am infinitely capable of turning this body into a lethal weapon. Now that I am out once more, I intend to do just that. My tail thrashed as I bolted from the cave, the yells of that silver female following me. She was actually scolding me, can you imagine that? I would dispatch her if I could, but that was the one thing he wouldn't let me do. Silly, Pearlpelt, I cannot fathom why he gave the female, who was neither mate nor mother, so much respect. His regard for her bordered on slavish adoration, and it sickened me to watch it.

In the thick of the battle I announced my presence as I had many times before. Fangs bared, I roared a challenge to the Warrior who I knew was out there, watching all of this. A wide circle was cleared around me as the humans, fliers, and even some gnawers scrambled to get out of my way.

When the shock of my appearance seemed to wear off, a few pairs of humans and fliers swooped in to face me. I sneered at their laughable, vain attempts to attack me. A few swipes of my claws sent the fliers hurtling into the waiting maw of my army. After a few moments the amusement I got from maiming the fliers wore out, I decided to make an example of the next flier that got too close. As the auburn flier circled in to let her rider get a good angle at me, I caught hold of her wing, shredding it completely. With an unearthly scream she plunged to the ground where both her and her rider were torn to bits by my soldiers. The humans and their mounts kept a safe distance after that.

The humans were looking around in dismay and fear, it was obvious they had no idea what to do now that I had taken the field. My fighters were cheering, sure that victory was close at hand.

See? I silently prompted the childish presence I could feel hovering over me and watching me fight. It was his turn to be thrust to the back of my mind and held at bay.

I suppose, was the only response I received. Then something caught not only my attention, but the attention of Pearlpelt as well. I could hear his excitement, The Warrior!

Perched on the wall was a large black flier, one that I had seen many times. This flier, I searched my memory and came up with the name Ares, was the bond of the Warrior. I positioned myself so that I was in the center of the field, directly facing the human boy. "Warrior. Warrior," My ears were laid back against my head in a challenge, and I slavered in anticipation of the fight, "Come and get me." Yet still he hesitated. My tail flickered impatiently.

The black bat swooped from the wall, and began to circle around me. I kept my eyes locked on the rider. Gregor the Overlander, the Warrior of the Prophecy of Gray, I smirked, he didn't look like much. This fight would decide the fate of all the Underland, I was certain I would win, but still, the Warrior was the only thing standing between me and total domination. I couldn't wait to taste his blood and know true victory.

I was ready when the black flier flew down for the first attack. As they dove down I leapt and twisted by body so that my claws swiped at them with all the leverage in my body. A flash of steel and a sting in my left paw revealed that the Warrior had gotten in a lucky swing. Three of my claws were clipped down short, almost to the point of being nonexistent. No matter, I would just have to make do with my other claws and my fangs.

The silence that had surrounded us broke into what I heard as meaningless noise. There was nothing going on around me that I paid the slightest attention to, save for the flier circling me. I turned in time with the Warrior, my eyes never wavered as he searched for an opening in my defenses. I didn't give him the opportunity to be the attacker.

As a wing came dangerously close to me, I leapt into the air and caught it in my claws. Using the leverage of the large flier I swept him toward my waiting fangs. The human on his back let out an indistinguishable cry and slashed at my nose with his sword. Pain surged from the wound all the way down my spine and I bellowed my rage. My head jerked back automatically, and the flier ripped his wing from my grasp.

The battle lost it's tentative attack and retaliate manner, and soon degenerated into a hack and slash frenzy. Both of us did whatever it took to try and gain the upper hand, or throw our opponent off guard. The cool calculating way I had been attacking was thrown to the currents and I lost myself to the rage I felt. Bloodlust blinded me, a crimson haze floating in front of my eyes. The adrenaline rush that was ground deep into my instincts unleashed itself and I attacked with renewed vigor.

I landed a few slashes on the Warrior's bond, and a mere scratch on the boy himself. They kept bombarding my eyes and face, and the same instincts that turned me into a deadly killer made me jerk back every time they got close to my face. After a barrage of feints toward my nose, the Warrior switched targets and lashed out at my eye. I ducked just in time to keep from losing my vision permanently and he slashed an enormous cut just above my deep red eye.

Snarling in pain and fury, I fell to my front legs and thrashed my tail toward the pair with all my might. I felt it connect and heard a satisfying crack that I hoped was his spine, and I grinned triumphantly. My victory was short lived however as the blood from my latest wound began to trickle into my eye.

I automatically lifted my paw to it to try and staunch the bleeding but as soon as I touched it, it began to pour. I scowled, and shook my head to get rid of the crimson liquid that was threatening to gum my eyes together. The flow increased, much to my ire. Idiot, I scolded myself silently, what did you think was going to happen if you shook your head.

You aren't winning, The irritating voice of Pearlpelt pointed out. He sounded almost amused, the little bastard.

"This isn't some silly spar, you wretch," I reminded furiously under my breath.

The short interruption had given the Warrior and his bond time to recover. I couldn't tell what damage I had done to him because at that moment the flier swooped down, aiming for my head. Without thinking, my tail came up to block the attack that I thought was coming for my face. Instead the metal of the Warrior's sword connected with the flesh of my tail. Pain sliced through me, and when I felt Pearlpelt's consciousness struggle to gain control I had no strength with which to fight him.

It was easier than I thought to wrest power from the dark presence that I had let overcome me. I blinked in shock as I felt a horrible pain overwhelm my senses. Spinning on the spot I tried to find the source of the terrible stabbing pains. It had to be my tail, I surmised, and struggled to get a good glimpse of whatever damage had been done to my fifth limb.

It wasn't there.

My tail was gone.

My mind filled with swear words and hideous torments before I began to think that it was a trick.

My tail couldn't be gone. It just couldn't be. It had been a part of me since I was born, a very vital part of me, and it couldn't be gone with such brutal swiftness. I glanced around wildly for some sign of treachery, something that would prove all of my other sense wrong.

What I found…was my tail.

Limp. Lifeless. Lying a mere foot away from me on the ground. No…

No. No! NO!

My eyes flickered open and shut repeatedly in a vain attempt to make the horrid sight go away. Finally in my half mad desperation I began to paw at the still appendage. Faster and more franticly until I was certain that it was all horribly real. Anger, hatred, and, most of all, grief coursed through me mercilessly, and I released a keening howl.

A haze covered my eyes, not unlike the one that clouded my vision when I was fighting. But this haze, instead of focusing my emotions, blinded me to everything. This was wrong. This wasn't--shouldn't be happening. How had it even happened? I wailed again.

It was a few moments before I realized that I had been moving along with my erratic thoughts. Not only my limbs, but my teeth as well. I took not even a split second to reflect on this curiosity or it's consequences. My head jerked up and I caught a glimpse of a black flier who was painfully familiar to me. He was flying away from me.

On his back I could see the Warrior, almost certainly injured. Staring at their retreating forms I could think of only one thing. One word was imprinted upon my brain with the boundless fury that I felt at the loss of my tail.

Death.

Kill him. Kill him. Kill him. Kill him. It was not rare that we both agreed on something, but this was something we had no quarrel about. Without a thought on my mind other than vengeance I bolted after the flier. Realizing they were headed for the safety of Regalia, I took a running leap and launched myself at the wall surrounding the city. I landed heavily, the stone crunching beneath my feet.

I screamed, realizing I had lost sight of my quarry when I had focused on getting up the wall. I shrieked again, at a loss for what to do. In a desperate attempt to catch sight of the black flier and the Warrior once more I dashed from one end of the wall to the other, and wailed in frustration when I couldn't find them.

Standing still, catching my breath, I heard a familiar voice crooning in my ear.

"My poor, Bane," Twirltongue mourned for me. "You have been treated so cruelly, so harshly. I feel for you, my pet. It rends my heart to see you so, but we have a war to win. You must give the order to your fighters, lest this attack degenerate into chaos."

Twirltongue was here. She would take care of things. I relaxed in this knowledge, and I lifted my voice in a battle cry:

"Take the city! Leave no one alive!"

XXXXX

I think it was about twenty minutes after my attack of the wall that I stumbled back into the cave that temporarily housed my officers, Twirltongue, and myself. I had lost a lot of blood and my eyes kept crossing, making everything have a blurry double. When I entered the cave everyone looked up. There was silence for a few moments as they took in my battered and very unstable form.

Then a small black female scurried up to me, I knew her. At least I thought I did. Her name started with a T right? Wait…that could be a lot of people. Why did everyone have names that started with T? No…My name didn't start with a T. It started with a B. Or a…P? Dammit, now I was confused. I tried to scowl at the cause of my confusion, the other gnawer, but when I moved my face the blood began to pour once again. Thick, sticky crimson began to flow down my face. Was I still white? Or had the red overtaken all of it?

"They say you were amazing," She was talking to me. I think she was, anyway, I couldn't really tell whether the female voice was coming from my back, the gnawer in front of me, or maybe inside my own head. That would be a change for once. My vision slowly focused back in on the gnawer. I stared at her for a few minutes before a name surfaced in my groggy mind. Terrormaw, that was what she was called. She was examining me, her eyes flickering over the various wounds I had gathered during the fight. "They say the Warrior is dead. Regalia will soon lie in ruins. You must be cared for." She added the last bit on with a stern glance toward my left shoulder.

Curious at what my shoulder had done to offend her I turned slightly and saw that Twirltongue was still perched on my back, looking over my shoulder. She was so light I had hardly noticed her presence. Twirltongue scowled at the other female, "He will be cared for, but he must first--"

"He must first nothing, Twirltongue," Terrormaw practically spat her name, and her gaze was hard. "He is the Bane, not God. He's lost too much blood already."

"He is king," Twirltongue stated firmly as if that statement overrode any of the other gnawer's objections. I nodded wearily. I was king. I was, however, beginning to feel her weight. I could still hold her, of course, but my strength was dwindling. I smiled a little. Dwindling, what a funny word, I reflected.

"Then why is he carrying you around like a flier!" She snapped furiously. Twirltongue shifted slightly, almost guiltily, and began to scale down my back. I gave a sigh of relief when she was off.

Twirltongue strolled over to the other gnawer and smiled at her, "Come now, my dear. Can't we come to some peaceful accommodation? We will gain nothing from fighting like this, you know, and we are wasting time. Perhaps we can compromise. I need the Bane for a few moments, and then you can fix him up as much as you like. Hm?" Twirltongue's voice was beautifully hypnotic, her cadence was almost musical and I felt calm just by listening to her. I barely heard the words.

Terrormaw, however, was not pleased. "Save your pretty words! While you try and get your way the Bane is bleeding out his life. Fetch the spinners, we must bandage that tail of his."

"Fetch?!" Twirltongue looked scandalized, "I am not some lowly slave that I be sent to fetch anything, spinners or no." By this time they had both bridged the couple of feet between them and were glaring at each other with no more than a claw length between their dagger filled eyes.

"I hate to break it to you, but you're an advisor, I'm a general. Last time I checked I rank higher than you, and so you do what I say."

"I am his second in command--"

"Unofficially!" Terrormaw interrupted furiously. "Now for once can you hold your tongue and do something useful?"

Before either of them had the chance to say anything else, by eyes began to flicker fitfully. I could barely keep them open, forget seeing out of them. The floor was writhing beneath my feet and I felt like I was going to fall at any moment. "It's all goin' 'round and 'round…" I murmured in awe.

The two quarreling females stared at me for a few moments. Twirltongue scowled and left, apparently to go and fetch the spinners for my wounds. It was odd, I had been aching all over for ages now, but suddenly all the pain was gone. Well, all of everything was gone. I couldn't feel anything, I could barely smell or see anything, and I was just this side of incoherent.

"Come," Terrormaw beckoned to me, but I couldn't see where she wanted me to go. She sighed and began prodding me and guiding me with her voice. After much cajoling and prompting I found myself in a secluded cave. "Hopefully the spinners will be here soon. You've lost a lot of blood."

I nodded, with my heavy head it wasn't much of a problem, and then lay down. "The Warrior…is dead?" I asked. I couldn't find the energy in myself to say much else, or to even care what the answer was. The events of the day, had taken their toll on me and I was completely worn-out.

"Yes," Terrormaw replied. She was looking at my wounds, and I could feel her brush them every once in a while. "I was busy assaulting the wall, but we have several eye witnesses that say they saw his bond carrying his lifeless body to Regalia. He was not moving. I wish I could have seen the fight."

Somehow despite everything I noticed that she was smiling, something she never did very often. She had seemed happy this past month or so after…

"The spinners are here," she informed me, suspending my train of thought. The last thing I remember before slipping into unconsciousness was the clicking sound of spider feet as my vision went black.