Part of this chapter deals with Episode Zero, Trowa's story. If you haven't read it and want to, it's easy to find online.

Chapter Nine

"Yes Addison. I know this is the second time I rescheduled them." Quatre almost allowed his irritation to be heard. He could feel it pricking at his throat like barbwire. Running his hand through his hair he tried to calm himself and briefly thought about how badly he needed to get it cut. Sitting up in his chair, he leaned into the communicator. When dealing with work, Quatre avoided all visual communication. It was hard enough controlling his voice; he didn't want to worry about his facial expressions and body motions as well. He was well aware that he would lose several supporters and business partners if they could see the looks he was secretly sending them.

"Wait, don't reschedule it. Have Kingston attend the meeting. She knows the information well. Have her call me at-" he closed his eyes, blocking everything out as he tried to think, "eight o'clock tomorrow morning to go over the configurations." He reopened his eyes and began to slowly rock back and forth in his chair. He was as restless as a child waiting for school to end so he could run free. But he knew he wouldn't be able to run far. The tether work had tied around his neck would yank him back as soon as he got around the block.

"As for the CAP's meeting on Wednesday, I'll speak with them via satellite." The Colonist's Agency of Preservation had been a thorn in his side for years, with constant protests and petitions being sent to him about the preservation of dilapidated colonies that, according to them, needed to be preserved for historical reasons. Quatre was sure as hell ready to yank the thorn out, and he didn't care if it bleed or not.

"What about the SPS?"

Nearly swearing, he bit down on his lower lip. He had completely forgotten about it and envisioned himself banging his head against the desk. Instead of doing that his mind quickly ran through options and dates. "Have the time changed to 9:30 on Friday morning. I'll be able to come in then. Could you please arrange a flight for me Addison?" He raised his hand and held his head, debating if smacking it on the desk would make it feel any different.

"Yes Mr. Winner."

"And make sure that the message of time change is delivered in person."

"Yes Mr. Winner. Is that all?"

"Yes Addison."

"Mr. Winner?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't stretch yourself too thin."

Quatre smiled. "Thanks." He ended the transmission and stretched his legs out from underneath the desk that he was now very thankful for. He glanced at his wristwatch, eight-thirty. Maybe Heero and Trowa wanted to figure out what was going on for breakfast. Getting up and arching his back, pleased at the few popping noises it made, he left his room and crossed the short distance between his and Heero's.

Quatre saw that Heero's door was slightly opened. He pushed it open a little more and poked his head inside and found it empty. He must have gone running, he thought as he pulled the door back to where it was and went next-door to Trowa's room.

He found the door shut so he lightly knocked on it and waited. When Trowa didn't answer he opened it a little and, to his surprise, found Trowa still asleep. Well, I suppose breakfast is up to me then.

He stared at the young blonde girl blocking his way and held his frustration in by clenching his fists. She held onto the locket she wore around her neck and her eyes fell down to the ground. "Enough so that," she slowly raised her head, each word was slowly stated and tears fought to fall, but she forced them back. "my father and brothers will have food on the table."

Her words didn't touch him. They were empty echoes passing through him like unnoticed ghosts. His eyes narrowed at her hand grasping the locket. "That's a transmitter, isn't it? The Federation could hear every move we made."

She stared into his hollow eyes and felt the furry growing inside of her like an untamed weed. "That's right!" She took a step closer to him and shoved her hand into his chest. "But you're still alive. You're the only one."

Trowa stood still from her shove. He was so furious, so hurt, but why, why wasn't he able to tell her, or even show her what he was feeling? He grabbed the cross she had given him and yanked it off of his neck, causing the chain to break and Midii to flinch. He threw it onto the ground. "I'm alive, I'm alive because of that!" He spat the words out at her like venom.

No, no, it wasn't supposed to be this way. She was losing the battle against the tears as a few escaped, and she could tell that she was losing the other battle as well. She wouldn't whip them away. She released her grasp on the locket and her hands fell to her sides. "It was a transmitter also."

Trowa yanked his gun out and aimed it at her. He held it so steady that it frightened him. Midii-

He sprung up in bed and felt the sweat trickling down his chest and back. Breathing heavily he ran his hands through his hair and gave it a yank, needing to feel something. Before he knew it, he could feel the vomit coming. It burned his throat and felt like spoiled milk, the lumps slowly coming up, accompanied by the repulsing odor. Quickly he yanked the twisted sheets off of himself and leaped at the small garbage can beside the door. He fell to his knees and his head hovered over the can. As he felt his throat spasm and contract his hands gripped the garbage can tighter and he took his last breath of the garbage starring back at him.

Quatre wandered the large hallways knowing that he would eventually find Duo. He could never be found in the same place twice. Every visit began with a game of hide and seek and Quatre had never been fond of the game. Unsure why, but the game had always frightened him as a small boy. He and his younger sisters would play it often, but he had never enjoyed it. He supposed it was because of the idea of being hunted down by someone, or being isolated, unable to find anyone.

The feeling of being in his gundam alone in the endless dark, searching for his prey, or waiting to be attacked, fluttered in his mind, like remembering a distant dream briefly. He stopped walking and lightly shook his head, sending the memory into the past were it belonged.

"Quatre." Quatre looked down the hall and saw Duo and a young boy in a hover chair making their way towards him. Duo waved and Quatre greeted them with a smile. "Hey Quat." Duo lightly patted him on the shoulder then looked down at the boy beside him. "Yoji, this is my friend Quatre."

"Hello." Yoji brightly smiled up at him. Not sure why, Quatre felt a tinge of pain, like a small sliver piercing through the skin, before he said hello back to the boy.

Duo placed his hand on the boy's head and ruffled his blonde hair. Yoji giggled and fought to remove his hand, and Duo placed his other on top of it. "Quatre and I are going to talk for a bit. Can I catch up with you later?"

Quatre saw the slight trace of disappointment in his face. "Okay." He dragged the word out, making sure to make the point that it really wasn't okay.

Duo smiled. "Thanks buddy." He lightly patted him on the head then removed his hand, realizing he was treating Yoji like a puppy. "I'll see ya later."

Yoji nodded his head and sent his chair forward, slowly making his way down the long hall.

Duo lightly laughed as he watched the boy leave. After a moment Quatre turned to him. "What's he here for?"

Duo looked at him and shrugged. "The doc didn't really say."

Quatre was able to pick up on the slight traces of concern that showed in Duo's eyes. He only wished Duo would show the least bit of concern for himself.

"So," Duo glanced over his shoulder, his braid swaying slightly with the movement, "wanna walk the grounds?"

"That sounds nice." He fell in line with Duo as they walked towards the entrance to the grounds.

"How's the living arrangements?" Duo smirked as he imagined the cozy situation.

Quatre took the question seriously and released a sigh. "As best as one could hope I suppose."

"You in my room?"

Quatre glanced at him and nodded yes. "I'm not sure how long I'll be in there alone though." Duo's eyebrows scrunched in and Quatre saw the blatant confusion. "We finally got a hold of Wufei."

The two waited to be cleared and the large glass doors slid open. Quatre childishly found himself a bit disappointed when they didn't make a swoosh sound, but when he entered into the colors, like walking into a rainbow, he forgot about it.

It was like walking into the Garden of Eden. The grounds were spectacular. He had seen photos of it while doing his research, but being there and experiencing it was a completely different thing. So many things occurred in life because people didn't have experience or knowledge. The expansions into space had resulted in forgetting the past and not experiencing the new. Could the earth and space ever truly unite when they shared nothing?

"Really? Didn't think you'd find Wu."

"I was beginning to wonder myself." Quatre broke his mind away from the blinding colors and empty thoughts. "Actually, he should be here by tomorrow."

Duo wasn't sure if he liked that or not. He didn't want their pity or sympathy. Such things never helped. Receiving them made you weak. If you needed to be coddled then you were a child. Duo raised his arm to scratch the back of his neck, causing his sleeve to slide down to his elbow. He never was pressed against a warm bosom and rocked gently away from fears, well, once, but that didn't mean it would help now.

Quatre saw the thin straight line traveling from the bottom of his hand down his arm for about two inches. The scar was not a smooth pale line, but a rough one made of bumps. Such a mark could not be ignored and placed hidden in the back of ones' mind.

Duo saw Quatre studying it and he lowered his arm, but left the sleeve pushed up, keeping the scar visible. "Ugly little sucker, huh?"

Quatre looked up at Duo and gave him a small smile. "Yeah." Duo laughed out of surprise. He had expected him to shyly look away and make excuses and apologies for seeing it. Duo's laugh was as contagious as a yawn and Quatre fell victim to it.

"You're going to have to buy me some bracelets for my birthday." Duo lightly slapped Quatre on the back as he began to gain control over himself.

"I'll make sure that I do." The two sighed and Quatre eased his hands into his pockets then stopped and looked at Duo. "When is your birthday?" He asked, surprised he didn't know, or that he had never bothered to find out.

Duo arched his eyebrows up. "Don't know." He said lightly. Quatre tried to pick up any waves of sadness or disappointment but found none. "I mean, I'm pretty sure of the year, but that's all."

Quatre frowned a bit and finished sliding his hands into his pockets and looked up into the lighting system. He glanced at Duo after a moment, then at his arm. "I don't know Duo, I just," he made eye contact with him, and Duo looked back, waiting for him to finish, "didn't expect you to do that." He finished on a sigh.

Duo shifted his weight on his feet and pointed behind Quatre. "You see that flower?" Duo pointed to what he knew was some sort of Dahlia. Quatre turned and looked at it. "Describe it to me."

Not sure where this was headed, but wanting to find out, Quatre obliged him. "It's beautiful in it's own way. The petals are large and yellow with red in their center." He began by stating the obvious. "They curve up, as if reaching for something they'll never have." He took a step towards it. "It looks like the sun, and its petals are the rays of sunlight." Satisfied with his short description he looked back at Duo.

"Okay," Duo crossed his arms in front of his chest, "now forget everything you've ever heard about that flower. Take away all of the poems, references, and descriptions of it that have been forced into your mind." He paused. "Now tell me about the flower."

Quatre stared at Duo for a moment before he turned back to the flower. He studied it in silence, Duo's instructions repeating in his mind. The flower slowly seemed to change. He no longer saw the beauty of it, but the truth in it. "The petals remind me of daggers, harsh and sharp. They look like they just claimed another victim, and the person's blood has collected and gathered in the center. It looks like touching it would hurt." Surprised at the new image of the flower that left him feeling like blinders had been removed, he jerked his head back towards Duo.

Duo gave him a lopsided grin that didn't reflect his eyes as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "I always liked that flower." He turned and began to walk down the winding path, leaving Quatre to think.