Steven was perfectly happy to sit there, the stabbing pains in his abdomen falling to the wayside as a buzzing much like television snow encompassed his entire being. He felt drowsy, floating in a storm cloud. It was the feeling of being awake at midnight reading Under the Knife fan fiction with still damp hair and clothes from a shower hours beforehand. He was almost simultaneously asleep yet awake, his mind lapping up energy of his new world.
He needed to learn how to redeem himself. He needed to throw down his emotions, light and love for the empire his former captors betrayed and kept him from. He knew how to never witness another corrupted monster, he knew how to walk-
He jerked back, physically. A motion not unlike a tic arose as he tried to keep himself from drifting; pinching himself. He tried to get himself to cry out but he could only stare at the teacher, who in turn stared back obviously unable to grasp the alien part of Steven. To her that is the human side of Steven, which was usually the cause of his weaknesses.
He felt himself becoming more in control but never called out, the side of him still loyal to his family knowing he could blow their chance and the malfunctioning side not wanting attention. Malfunctions cannot walk the path. Malfunctions cannot walk the path. Malfunctions cannot walk the path.
He curled in on himself as the now- forefront pain increased in intensity, consuming him whole, like a snake unhinging his jaw to swallow a baby mouse whole before digesting it with acid. Before the kite that held his thoughts could fly away to hell, Jadeite grabbed the strings.
"Hey" she whispered "What in the name of the Authority is wrong with you?" The familiar yet still foreign green eyes were laced with hidden concern and a touch of poison. It was a small piece of hatred and mistrust that all the innocent gemlings carried unknowingly but seldom noticed. Except Steven, who had lived with three rebels who had killed their own kind. That slightly blamed him for his mother's death.
He saw the pieces sewn into her poor soul and the yelling to follow the path turned to whispers. He could only look at his friend in pity.
"I'm sorry." Steven felt sick at what he had previously not realised. The mantras that were never taught to him but he had picked up. How all the gems responded to questions so in sync that you could say jinx. This wasn't a school, it was a place to harbour your computer files until they have finished downloading. He rushed out into the hallway ignoring gems from the 36th class as they stared, no disturbance like this had ever been recorded.
Even his friends, Onyx, Snowflake and Rosie seemed to be too subservient. Why was it that he introduced playing to the academy? Even afterwards there were so many gems that sat in the breaks in processing mode, their pupils replaced by blue data.
He eventually fell, in the courtyard. His torso spasmed like a wrist after a three hour exam, trying to find a way to accommodate the pain that left him helpless, the whispers in his head calling.
Serve the Diamond Authority,
Live the Diamond Authority,
Crush the rebels,
Walk the path away from corruption and step into enlightenment
Pearl sat with her legs folded beneath her at the foot of Steven's bed, her head rested on her shoulder. She was asleep for the first time in her existence, her gem revealing a hologram of a starved mutilated Steven, pink gem shards and the voice that convinced her that she could be Important, telling her she was a failure.