These characters belong to Stephenie Meyer

His body felt so hot against mine and I felt his arousal as his lips trailed down over my shoulder, he went to slip the strap of my bra down, but I panicked suddenly.

"Jacob, wait!" I said and pressed my palms against his chest. I shot up into a sitting position bringing him up with me. He sat there looking stunned trying to control his hard breathing. I couldn't believe I had let myself get so distracted. Without Jacob's hot body covering mine I felt chilled, and very exposed. I grabbed my blanket and drew it up around my body.

"I'm sorry…I'm just not ready for this right now." I said nervously

He had his eyes closed, and once his breathing became steady he opened them and looked at me thoughtfully "It's okay…I don't want to rush you into anything" he said softly

I nodded "I need to be honest with you; I am just not sure about this relationship anymore. There are questions that I need answered before I can even think about where to go from here."

"What? Where did this come from all of the sudden?" he said an edge of irritation in his voice

"You know exactly where it came from! Youare where it came from. I mean, can you tell me why I need to stay away from the Cullens? Why you got so angry because they were here, and how did you know they were here anyways?"

"You need to stay away from the Cullens, because...they're dangerous. I was angry because you are putting yourself in danger Bella. More than you could ever imagine. They're not what you think they are and I knew they were here because…because…I could smell them." He looked down "That's all I can tell you"

I laughed bitterly "None of that makes sense! All that does is lead to a hundred more questions. Why? Why can't you just be honest with me?" I said impatiently

He scooted over to me and pulled me to him "I want to tell you everything, I wish I could be honest with you, but…I…I can't do it, it's impossible. I can't explain anything any further. Please believe me, I want nothing more than to tell you and make you understand. I hate this just as much as you do…your just going to have to trust me for now."

"I pulled back a little so that I could look into his eyes, "Okay, tell me at least this then …How does Jessica Stanley know you?"

He gasped and looked like I had punched him, his eyes got wide and he looked confused for a moment. "I…uh…well…" he mumbled and I pushed him away from me and stood up. I grabbed my shirt off of the floor and pulled it over me quickly and crossed my arms.

I looked him in the eye "Just tell me the truth, did you date her?"

"No! No…. I didn't date her" he said quickly

"What then, or is this something else you just can't tell me?"

"I was with her friend for awhile…Lauren"

I felt a little relieved although a pang of jealousy shot through me at the thought of him dating someone else" So…what's the big deal, you dated Lauren, so what? I mean we weren't together…officially. It hurts a little that you dated someone else, when I thought we were together just without the title…but Jessica made it seem like there was some huge secret scandal"

He looked like he was going to be sick; his face had drained of color and he avoided my face, choosing to stare somewhere to the side "I guess I better tell you before you hear it from someone else"

I felt my stomach drop "Tell me"

"Well…a group of kids started coming down to La Push a lot to go to First Beach, Jessica, Lauren, and a guy named Mike were part of that group. They would bring alcohol and party there a lot on the weekends, and so a couple of us started hanging out and partying with them. Embry, Quil and I along with some other kids from La Push would meet up with them. Lauren and I started getting pretty close, not really dating because I told her we would never be anything serious, that I was kinda with someone. She said she understood that we wouldn't ever be serious, but one night we all got really drunk and I…we…we uh you know…"

"Oh God Jacob, NO… are you serious! You slept with her?" my legs felt weak,and I felt dizzy. Jacob's hot arms wrapped tightly around me and it drove me into a fury

"Get your hands off of me! Now!" I screamed and slapped at him

He stepped away, looking shocked at my outburst "Bella…." He said lightly and reached towards me again

"Don't you dare touch me! I can't believe you! We…we… promised each other that we would...wait to have our first time together!" my voice was high pitched and it felt like my throat was closing in, making it hard for me to talk "How many times did you sleep with her?" I said as calmly as I could muster

"wh…What" he stuttered

"How. Many. Times?" I screamed losing control of my emotions, I was so tired of these games.

"I uh… I don't know… 3, 4"

A sharp laugh escaped my lips; the voice that followed didn't even sound like me "You don't know" I said slowly "Was she the only one?" He just looked at me and if I thought I couldn't feel any worse I was wrong. "No! Then who…who else?"

"It didn't mean anything; I was just lonely without you here. It was a huge mistake!" he said quietly

"Wow, I would never have expected this from you, I thought you were different. I thought I knew you! Apparently I know nothing...NOTHING...about you! So tell me who else Jacob?"

"Jessica"

I almost threw up, the bile stung my throat as I forced it back down and tears clouded my vision, but I refused to let him see how much he had hurt me. "I can't believe that you let us go as far as we did tonight without telling me about this" I said throwing my hands up "You are a real piece of work Jacob Black, really had me fooled!"

"You probably would have let it go all the way too, if I hadn't of stopped it! I mean why not…it's nothing new to you!" my voice was pure hatred

Jacob looked like I just killed his puppy in front of him, but at that point I didn't even care "Bella, please don't say things like that…you're not like them…"

"Oh please, save it for someone who wants to hear it…because we are done! You and me…we're over! I'm so tired of all this deceit, of having to sift through lies trying to uncover the truth! I just don't know you…or even me for that matter. Just leave me alone, I need some time to figure all of this out." I whispered because I felt completely weak. Drained….

Jacob looked broken "I understand. But before I go please just try and forgive me, because I love you…I really do love you and only you. I've always loved you…and I fucked up Bella! I know that I can't take it back or ever do anything to make up what I've done, but you do know me…the real me. I've been going through a lot of…of…changes and I lost myself somehow. This all happened this last year and when you came back this summer I wanted to tell you but I knew it would kill you and I didn't have the heart to do it. When you told me you were moving here I knew I'd have to tell you, but not because I knew you'd find out, but because I wanted us to be together like we couldn't be before. I wanted and still do want to marry you someday. I will never forgive myself for hurting you!"

I couldn't speak, I could only stare at him…the boy I'd known all my life, but who felt like a complete stranger to me now. His eyes were glassy from the tears on the surface. And his face looked worn. He took a step toward me but I shook my head slightly and he turned and left without another word. As I heard the front door close downstairs I felt like my world came crashing down on me. How had everything become so horribly undone?

I don't know how long I stood in that spot, not able to move, or even think…all I could do was let the waves of pain and anger and hurt wash over me, threatening to overcome me. I suddenly felt the strongest urge to just leave…

I needed to get out of there. I took off down the stairs. I needed to be away from all of this, away from everything. I ran out the back door, not looking back to see if the door shut behind me. I faintly realized I was running towards the woods, but I didn't care. I concentrated on my footsteps, I tried to focus on each one, blocking everything else out…it worked, the longer I ran, the less I felt.

Okay lol this was originally the first part of the next chapter but since I was getting so much hate mail lol I decided to go ahead and post this part asap. I'm sorry to everyone I freaked out, hey I know how you feel I love Edward too! However, I am writing this as it comes to me and can't guarantee anything :) I go where the words will me, keep reviewing though it gives me inspiration----P.S Bella and Jacob did not have sex! I hope this makes ya'll stop hating me