Hi hi~~

So I am sooo sorry for the delay. And expect some more in the future- I am severely busy with uni and the term shall be over in a few weeks so I can focus on writing a bit more soon-ish. I don't know. Have patience weirdoes who actually like my stuff! PATIENCE.

Also SSHP pairing is not set in stone. If you guys got opinions you wanna speak out about on possible pairings you wanna see just tell me. And reasons why you want to see it or think it's a good ship. In my story Death is pansexual and mostly favours male gender. Other than that go nuts.

Enjoy~~

The one where Death continues getting used to Hogwarts by- learning how to straddle hard sticks of wood to fly, gets detention, gets propositioned by a dog, hunt down a unicorn vampire person with said dog and Draco Malfoy, propositions a centaur and then calls it a night.

So apparently Harry has learnt a few more things since his first week at Hogwarts.

One. Hagrid cannot cook. His cakes taste like rocks and share the same solid structure of one too. And the only proper way to consume it is to burn it and offer it up to the heavens as a 'Screw You' offering to your fellow entities slash siblings.

Two. When Professor McGonagall says 'Surprise me.' it is a safe bet to butter her up with something shiny. The stereotype that the female gender enjoys such objects has so far served it's purpose well. So far an intricately carved golden bracelet shaped like to lions running toward each other has been responded in a generally pleasing manner. McGonagall has been seen wearing it the next day.

Three. His wand was way too hyped up to be useful. It gets so needy and lonely all the time that Harry always takes pity on it, uses it for one simple thing which it gets overexcited about that something happens- usually some sort of large hole in a place large holes aren't supposed to be in- and then Harry decides he's better off wandless until the black stick of wood just looks so sad and rejected they start the whole cycle over again.

Four. At some point Binns needs to be exorcised. It is for his own good, for Harry's own good and for the sake of education's own good.

Fiv- "Potter this does not look like a list of things you've learnt in Charms last week."

Green eyes blinked at an exasperated Blaise that had been looking over his shoulder. "We have to write a list for Charms?"

"Yes. And yours is due, unfortunately for you, tomorrow."

"..Bullocks."

Flying lessons were okay.

Actually it was pretty brilliant.

Scratch that, it was fantuckingfastic.

Flying never was a 'thing' in the lifestyle that was being Death. Apparently it was deemed in some sort of invisible legislation known as societal expectations that beings of death and Death himself do not fly. Dementors do, technically, but it's really more hovering than flying unless told otherwise. Much like how tortoises could run if their life really depended on it but their natural choice of locomotive was more along the lines of plodding along. The same goes for Lethifolds too, hovering, floating, drifting, maybe a little gliding along with the winds in their cloud-like bodies but not really 'flying'.

So no, flying was just not something that happened in the under-realms, with the exception of those giant raven creatures they had but those were like a 'bunnies in Australia' type situation than anything. And if you failed biology and don't understand that reference then basically just imagine Death (the horseman not the entity) picking up a flock of black birds to bring home as pets only for them to mutate and spread all over his lands, annoying demons and making reapers just generally uncomfortable. But those were really the only things there that could fly- no, fallen angels didn't count either. Sudden teleportation however, or manifesting out of a mist of darkness or maybe even just the classic striding coolly out of the shadows were more his type of speed.

Right now though, after getting over the awkward and frankly just undignified stage of straddling a piece of wood, Harry could not see why he never tried such a method of movement. This was amazing.

Harry whooped with energy he didn't even know he had, buzzing all the way to the tips of his fingers as the wind hit his face and tugged playfully through his hair. He could hear the flying teacher lady shouting something about watching his form and grip but was too busy grinning wildly as he sharply dived downwards, much to the screams of his classmates, before giving his broom a strong tug letting his feet just skim the grass before flying back into the sky again. Damn, now this was finally turning out to be a proper vacation!

Later he made a mental note to figure out how to explain to his Reapers the wonders of air travel.

"Wonderful!" Madam Hooch exclaimed, she had this unnervingly bright gleam in her eyes, "Magnificent, amazing, fabulous!" If Harry didn't know better he was sure the woman would be just spewing out random adjectives, as he landed easily onto the ground he threw the older lady a bashful grin and shrug.

"That was fun. Is there some sort of game with flight or do we all just try fancy tricks in the air?"

And then he was eagerly explained what Quidditch actually is.

It still sounded incredibly stupid- the point system alone was just... Anyway, nonetheless after experiencing the wonder of swooping and gliding and rushing wind, Harry decided that maybe the game was a little less dumb than he thought. Though trying out for the game would be particularly tricky considering he was House-less.

Madam Hooch looked like she was about to cry when he told her that.

Apparently when he's not present the Houses revert back to their original state of aggressive rivalry. It's quite fascinating really, even if he's never seen the change himself. Ron and Draco were very good examples of this phenomenon. Sure they weren't best friends or anything but they had been amiable enough when Harry had left them to go to their flying class. And only a few short hours later-

"You guys got detention?"

"Yeah." Ron spat out, his freckled face covered in splotches of mud. It matched the rest of his body quite nicely. Though it clashed horribly with his hair.

"No." Draco said sulkily at the exact same moment causing the two to glare at each other with so much venom Harry could practically hear the vicious hissing sound emanating from them both. Harry just raised a bemusedly curious brow.

"I think you guys are the first in the year to ever get detention. Congratulations."

"It was all Malfoy's fault!" Ron accused, pointing fingers and all.

"Wha-no, no it bloody wasn't!" Draco spluttered.

"You took Neville's Remembrall!"

"I would've given it back!"

"You were threatening to drop it from the sky!"

"... I didn't say it'll come back in one piece." The blonde muttered defensively and turning the freckled boy's face an increasingly vibrant shade of anger. Sensing they were treading dangerously close to shouting territory the entity-on-hiatus decided now would be a nice time to intervene.

"So what does a detention in a school of magic entail exactly?" He asked, only hald curious, "I mean you must assume it wouldn't be too bad but still."

"It depends on who you get to serve detention with." Draco responded quickly, seeing the out for what it was and maybe partly because the boy had this obvious enjoyment in teaching Harry things that he knew. "My father told me that Snape won't be too harsh on Slytherins-"

Ron snorted and may have muttered that sounded suspiciously like "Biased git." But it was ignored.

"McGonagall will probably make you do some lines or something incredibly dull like that, and Flich, well,"

"He's a complete wanker." The redhead blurted out. Draco looked ready to argue, more on sheer reflex and principles alone but paused and shrugged halfheartedly in agreement. "Yeah."

Green eyes looked at them coolly. "I like Filch."

"Merlin Harry, Snape and Filch?" Ron moaned, shaking his head, "You have the like, worst taste in adults don't you?"

Harry looked at the Malfoy scion pleadingly, waiting for the inevitable rebuttal to Ron's opinion, instead all he got was a bored shrug. "He's not wrong Potter." Traitor.

"I hope you guys enjoy detention together." Harry sniffed haughtily.

"Oh hey, now that's just, wait up Potter!"

"Yeah wait up mate!"

"Don't you follow us-"

"I can bloody follow if I damn well-"

Harry shook his head fondly as he walked away from what was obviously another one of their arguments. It was almost painful how much they reminded him of two specific rather argumentative entities of order and chaos. Though Chaos would probably prefer the twins out of the red headed family and Order would definitely appreciate Professor McGonagall and her no nonsense attitude. She was most likely the one who had given his friends that detention at- Harry stopped in his tracks.

"Shit. I have detention too don't I?"

Oh well. He's sure that it'll be a nice little surprise for his friends.

Unsurprisingly Harry's first detention was given by one surly potions professor. Surprisingly the detention had not been the professor's idea.

"I think..." Harry began slowly, solemnly, drawing his friends attention from both Houses as they walked out of their potions lesson, "I think Professor Snape might not be very fond of me."

"No." Draco drawled with the verbal equivalent of a desert in the height of summer in his voice. "Say it isn't so."

Harry nodded seriously. Everyone groaned.

"And you seemed like such a normal kid when I first saw you." Seamus muttered.

"Who would've thought, Harry Potter, has terrible tastes in potion professors?"

"Hey," Harry protested, not completely sure what taste has got to do with it but felt offended at the tone alone, "I bet Snape tastes great."

An unfortunate passing by Hufflepuff choked and slammed into a wall. His friends looked nauseated. He watched their reactions confused and questioningly.

Really, no matter how many years he's experienced as a mortal they still baffled him. Was the question not some sort of suggestion toward cannibalistic tendencies? It might be frowned upon on in this world's day and age but that's what he thought at the idea of turning rabbits into lamps so what did he really know?

"That. That is disgusting Harry." Ron proclaimed, Harry didn't see why it was but remained silent. This felt like one of the times where saying nothing and gathering context for future reference was the best point of action. His large green eyes however were not as easily restrained as his tongue though because Zabini gave him a withering look that said, 'You have no idea what's wrong with what you just said do you? God you are so socially inept but since I find you most tolerable I will explain this to you later when we are alone.' Yes Harry did read all of that on the Italian boy's features. In his defense though the child had like a thousand variations of sneers and expressions of disdain for apparently every reason. He didn't know all of them obviously but he's had enough experience with this one to recognize it just from the crinkle of the nose alone.

"Why do you think Snape doesn't like you now out of all times?"

"Yeah, if anything, we really should be having this conversation last week when he verbally berated your incompetence because your potion was, 'too aqua and not turquoise enough,' like what does that even mean?

Everyone made various sounds of agreement. "I'm pretty sure Longbottom almost cried that lesson and he was on the other side of the classroom." Nott added thoughtfully. The other Slytherins snorted.

"Please, Longbottom's always about to cry in Potions." Draco rolled his eyes. The first year Gryffindors looked torn between indignation and reluctant agreement, though knowing the hotheaded house of the brave, they would probably argue just for the sake of disagreement with their rivals. Really, this House thing was exhausting. Hogwarts is many things but school unity isn't precisely one of them.

"Yeah but Snape obviously thinks Longbottom is incompetent." Harry pointed out, "I mean, don't mean to be rude to Neville but he isn't the most deft with his fingers in the art of potions. It would be rather hard to say nice things to someone who keeps melting all the cauldrons after a while."

With the conversation turned back to the green eyed boy the air of hostility cleared to more comfortable levels. Well mostly.

"Harry no offence but I'm pretty sure that greasy git would rather choke on his own hair than say a nice word to you." Ron replied heatedly, "And you do better than most of the chaps in our class!"

"Yeah, you even helped me when I was about to drop the pickled toad eyes before dicing them Potter. And you got reamed about sabotaging me!" Zabini agreed with just as much fervor though obviously with a much cooler composure. The raven haired wizard savior couldn't help but flush slightly at that and shrugged his shoulders, muttering something unintelligible about 'not being that big of a deal'. Of course, somehow, that only served to fuel the other children's protests even further.

Finally, tiring from protecting the dour professor Harry held up his hand in a gesture to silence his friends.

"Well I think there is only one solution to this." Harry announced resolutely.

"What?"

"I'm going to ask him." They stared. He stared back.

"You're going to ask him." Someone repeated slowly, he didn't know who it was that said that but from the incredulous condescension he was going to assume it was one of the Slytherins.

"Yes."

"You're going to walk up to that man's face and ask him point blank why he hates you." Definitely Slytherin. Probably Draco.

"Yes."

This was met by groans and sounds of hands meeting faces. Harry can not stress enough how annoying children were at this moment.

"No."

"Merlin Harry."

"Potter you moron."

"What?" Harry frowned. "Why not?"

"Oh my god Harry you can't just- you don't- oh my god Harry!" Again, can not stress enough. Children. Mortals. Ugh.

"There is no need to bring God into this." He chided. Really, he should know. And if God did answer some prepubescent child's whines instead of millennia of an incarnation of death's pleas for guidance when he needed it then Harry was going to be severely pissed. "And I dislike the notion that you think my idea is unwise."

"Unwise!?" Ron burst out, "Mate what you are thinking is the stup-mmph!"

"What I think the Weasel is saying," Draco hastily stepped in as Zabini, with visibly great disgust, was muffling the freckled Gryffindor's mouth with his bare hand. "Is that maybe a direct approach to the problem isn't always the best approach?"

"It is my approach." Harry retorted stubbornly, "I am unsure of Professor's opinion of me and if what you guys accuse is true then I am justifiably uncomfortable with being some sort of target in the classroom. Asking directly will ensure a quick conclusion and I think I'm more than capable of doing so."

"It's not that we don't think you can do it Harry. It's just.."

"It's just that Snape can make grown men cry and we don't think it would be great if you come back traumatized and forever rendered mute from the experience."

"And you all think that?"

They nodded.

"Well I'm sorry but I'm going to prove you guys wrong." He huffed, and with that Harry turned around and walked away. Later on the immortal would probably grudgingly reflect that maybe he acted a tad too 'young' considering his vast age but in his defense, he was pretty sure childishness was contagious- especially with prolonged contact. So it wasn't his fault, it was his lack of immunity to children. Definitely.

"Professor?" The potions master looked up from his stack of grading in slight surprise which was easily covered up in a heartbeat, his features the chiseled representation of cool disdain.

"Potter? Classes are on Fridays you realise?"

"Really professor I didn't notice," Harry replied with a slight smile as he leaned his weight against the edge of the class doorway.

"10 points from Gryffindor for talking back to a teacher." And that wiped the smile off the boy's face. Correspondingly it seemed to give the older man a sharp light of gleeful petty vindication in the black pair of eyes.

"Professor Snape I'm not in Gryffindor currently, I don't believe you can just take house points. If anything I'm still technically a Slytherin."

"You were exclusively Slytherin in my classroom Potter, now that you're no longer in my classroom you can be any house I wish."

Harry was not entirely sure that, that was correct but decided against antagonising the teacher and technically 'adult' out of the two. Taking a shallow breath he asked, "Do you dislike me for some reason?"

He had quite taken to the mortal phrase 'in for a penny, in for a pound,' and really, Snape's surprised face from the sudden blunt change of subject was worth whatever answer would be given. "Excuse me Potter?"

"Well," The younger shuffled his feet, absentmindedly wishing he was wearing some muggle jeans just so he could find somewhere to shove his hands into. Like, what on this green earth was he supposed to do with them right now? "See it has come to my attention that you possibly seem to dislike my person professor. Also my friends said you may hate my guts and everything I could possibly stand for."

And everyone thought he had learnt no social skills. Hah.

Snape apparently was either stunned speechless for a reason Harry wasn't completely sure of or just being silently offended at such accusations. Either way the resulting lack of response was not a comfortable one. "Professor Snape?" Harry inquired, prompting in what he hoped was an answer.

"I," The dark robed man cleared his throat before looking back at the child. The emotion in his face was not unreadable per say, but it was something complicated and deep and if there were people with faces like open books then Snape's was like opening a dusty tome in a dimly lit room and finding the writing was the same color as the paper it was scrawled on as well as in Latin even though you expected it to be written in Italian or somehting. "I do not hate you Potter."

The boy frowned, "I didn't say hate professor, I said dislike." Harry paused a bit before frowning at the older man even harder, disapproval and disappointment radiating from him in a way that probably made the usually so intimidating potions master inwardly cringe. "Did you hate me?"

The lack of answer was an obvious answer in itself. And wow that was kind of hurtful to hear. Or not hear.

Pointedly dismissing the hollow pang in his chest cavity Harry pretended that previous question had not been spoken as he moved on to, "And now? What of your stance on me now?" The boy asked, voice border-lining to an outright demand. It sounded completely self-absorbed even to him, but Harry just did not have people who disliked him. Well as an individual being anyway, not what he represented. Not really. Sure Zacharias wasn't fond of him but the sentiment was more than reciprocated so that didn't count. However Harry actually liked the sarcastic harsh man in the black robes and the idea that Snape despised him erred the boy more than he'd rather admit. Seriously he was chess buddies with the Devil, how in Lucifer's name did the older man hate him?

"Now," Snape replied slowly, tasting the word with his mouth thoughtfully, drawing it out as his mind formulated his response. A response Harry was waiting with an almost eager anticipation for. With a shuddering sigh like his answer was some sort of big burden thrust upon him the older of the two said, "I have reluctantly taken back my first assumption and found you to be... Tolerable."

Tolerable. That probably meant something yes? From someone like Snape it might even be the equivalent of a standing ovation. Yes, he could work with tolerable. Tolerable was good. Harry gave Snape a heartfelt smile of approval. "I find you tolerable too Professor Snape." He cheekily replied.

The professor hesitated before letting the edges of his lips curl up in return.

They shared an easy quiet space between them, it felt so similar to when they first met in the shop, and while Harry was intrigued in why that lighthearted bantering relationship took a sudden swerve to the underworld at the mention of his name, he was much more content in getting this feeling back. However the idea that something as flimsy and unimportant as a name of all things could break such a nice thing was unacceptable.

"I think you should give me a detention."

For a second time Harry had the pleasure of seeing Severus Snape flounder for words again. "Potter?"

"Because I'm not going to ask why you reacted so badly to when you heard my name, that's your business," the boy stiffly explained with a confidence he wasn't sure he actually had at the moment, it seemed like a good idea in his head. "But I do wish for an amiable rapport and so I will extended a symbolic branch of the olive tree if you will."

"And you thought me giving you detention would satisfy me?" Snape challenged derisively, in a way that would've make Longbottom's eyes filled with tears, but Harry could see the considering look in black calculating eyes.

"You liked to call me out for things which admittedly even I have had trouble figuring out why. It felt like some sort of vendetta if you don't mind me saying professor. So I just.." He uncertainly trailed off and made a vague hand gesture in feeble hopes it could convey what his mouth had failed to do.

Snape just stared at him with that complicated to the point of blank expression of his before giving a sharp nod and abruptly stood up and gestured Harry to leave.

The next day Harry got a detention for being a 'menace in the halls.' It was probably the nicest Snape had ever been in giving someone a detention. Longbottom who had been present during the whole thing actually did tear up a bit though so maybe that wasn't exactly true. Though Harry couldn't help but grin when the man subtly patted his shoulder as he left as quickly as he came.

Ron and Draco weren't exactly pleased to see Harry per say. To be fair they weren't exactly displeased either. In fact Harry would more accurately call their faces 'gobsmacked' when they saw him happily waving at them whilst he conversed with their most hated caretaker of Hogwarts.

"Harry?!"

"Potter?!"

"Good evening!" Harry called out cheerily. "Did I forget to mention I got detention too?"

Ron caught up to him first, smacking the green eyed boy's unruly raven head and grumbling, "Yeah mate, might've slipped slipped your mind a bit."

"Oops?"

Draco, not one to change pace for anyone finally joined the group with his signature sneer on his face. "Well, well, well, apparently Potter's gotten off his high horse and joined us on the ground huh?" It was teasingly good natured which Harry caught on well enough, his red headed friend however was not that quick on getting sarcasm because the boy went positively purple. However not wanting another ongoing argument, especially not one during a detention which he assumed was already going to be quite miserable, Harry decided to adopt his own teasing sneer and shrugged haughtily.

"What can I say Draco? I decided your usual view up on those large horses of yours was much too uncomfortable for my liking."

The two pale skinned boys traded grins at their exchange, Ron who while didn't quite get the humor was aware enough to no longer take offense to the Malfoy scion. Well, in this particular case anyway. Much. Harry honestly didn't think there was a time Ron was not offended by Draco. And that went both ways really.

"Actually," Harry was struck by a sudden realization, vivid green eyes glittered with well hidden mirth, "I thought you guys had your detention yesterday. You know, lines with Mcgonagall?" Suddenly the two other boys looked distinctly uncomfortable.

"Yes," The blonde coughed, "Well, we may have uh," More embarrassed coughing. Harry raised an eyebrow. Well this was going to be interesting. Looking at Ron the freckled child was pointedly looking at the ceiling, face taking more of an embarrassed faint pink hue. Actually Draco had the same coloring. "We may have planned to sneak out of our dorms to commence a wizard's duel."

At seeing the small boy's confusion Draco's embarrassment twisted into a sneer, "You have no idea what that is. Typical." He snorted.

"Well I think I've got the basic idea down." Harry shot back dryly. "I just fail to understand why."

"Well it wasn't like I was actually going to go!" Draco burst out angrily, Ron spluttered. "What?! But you-"

"I lied." The blonde hissed. "It was going to be a magnificent plan, your Gryffindor brashness would've practically compelled you to accept the duel and while you got in trouble wandering the school after hours I would've been in bed playing innocent."

It was admittedly a very good if not incredibly sneaky plan. Would totally work too. Of course there was no way Harry was going to say that out loud in front of Ron. Ron who was doing a startlingly well done job at pretending to skin the Malfoy child with just his eyes. He may be socially inept but he was certainly not an idiot so instead Harry said, "Okay so how come you're both stuck here with me then?"

The two rivals turned to their one mutual friend with faces so sour lemons would cry. "Granger." Was growled and hissed out with equal intensity. Because if there's one thing that bonds two opposing sides any faster was a shared enemy. Now Harry wasn't the biggest fan of the bushy haired girl but he had to mentally wince for the target of whatever consequences that came from both a Malfoy and a Weasley's ire. Dudley and Pierce weren't exactly the sharpest tools in the proverbial shed and Harry had learnt the hard way that there was no barriers young boys will not pass to achieve their petty vengeance.

Ugh he still shuddered when he saw a full wheel of cheese in the shops.

"She was eavesdropping at us like she actually had any business in what we did." Draco sniffed. "Even worse she just barged in and told us off! Like she had any authority."

"Called us selfish she did!" Ron agreed angrily, "Then after what, five minutes?"

"At least a solid ten." The blonde corrected with a wry smirk. "Don't think she stopped for air."

"Yeah, ten minutes, so after ten bloody whole minutes of berating us, calling us childish and pretty much saying how much better she is, Granger went and snitched on us! What a chit!"

"Here here." Draco slapped the freckled boy's shoulder before the pair both froze and recoiled away from each other so fast Harry was wondering if they choreographed the whole interaction. Draco looked at his hand with disgust, wiping it on his ropes with emphasized motions while Ron blew furiously on his shoulder as if the 'Malfoy germs' implanted on his person would float away before they completely attached onto him. And wow that was a strange visual.

"Alright you brats." Filch groused, having apparently left sometime earlier to collect his beloved Mrs Norris and a lamp, "Follow me."

"Of course Argus." Harry answered winningly, Mrs Norris purred. The boys behind him just nodded, at the corner of his eyes the raven haired boy could see Draco mouthing 'Argus?' at Ron who just shrugged, looking just as befuddled as the other. "Do you know what's happening tonight?"

The cantankerous groundskeeper glanced at the youngest Weasley and Malfoy before turning his attentions to his favorite student in Hogwarts. "I ain't completely in the know but Hagrid's the one in charge tonight." He acquiesced. "Though I don't see how that oaf could enforce any proper punishment. You know Potter-"

"Harry." Filch gave a yellow toothed smile at the correction.

"Harry. Well back in my day Harry we would've string these little terrors up by their thumbs." The old squib gave a slightly manic cackle at that as his friends began looking increasingly worried at being such a close distance to the caretaker. If Harry had been 'a real boy' he probably would've been weirded out too, fortunately he was a physical manifestation of death and other associated things with it so he had found the stories Filch offered fascinating. Why didn't they teach this in Binn's lesson?

"Their thumbs?" He prompted, "Wouldn't the string cut off circulation?" Ron and Draco was now looking at him horrified, like he was just casually discussing torture in front of- huh. Filch shook his head.

"No, no, see we used specially made cuffs. They were made so the only pain was centered in the arms, like being forced to keep a pail of water above their heads but taking away the ability to cheat their punishment."

"Wait, couldn't you have just put a temporary sticking charm on the bucket?"

Filch cocked his head, thoughtful, "Never thought of it like that Harry. Would've made it easier though."

The boy shook his head, "See that's the problem with your magic dependent society, everything is unnecessarily complicated for some reason."

"It is no-"

"Shut it brats!" Filch barked, effectively silencing Draco's protest. "Honestly, kids these days." The man grumbled under his breath. The pale blonde gaped, actually speechless at the blatant favoritism that wasn't aimed at him. Harry, catching on to the disbelief, looked Draco straight in the air and winked. Ron had to stifle his laughter with his fingers as his school rival made a furious choking sound.