Chapter 10 – Let Me Protect You

Author's Note: Hello again lovely people! I apologize for the delay; the next chapter should not take quite as long. Anyway, this chapter is in three scenes from 5x10: one is set right after Spencer and Emily meet in Em's room and talk about the pictures, the second is set after Spencer's talk with Melissa, and the third is set during and after the ending scene with the girls in Hanna's kitchen. It is from Emily's POV. This is a Spemily story. All mistakes are mine. Let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: None of the characters or story lines from Pretty Little Liars are mine. If they were, it would be one big Spemily story.

I felt bad bringing up Melissa in such a harsh manner, I knew how Spencer was struggling with the idea that her older sister might be actively working against her, but it was the only ammunition I had to fight against my best friend's accusations of Ali. It was getting more and more difficult to communicate with both of them. Alison kept lying, kept hiding things, kept lashing out, especially at Spencer. All the while, Spencer was on the most potent anti-Ali crusade I had ever seen, and although I understood that she was upset, I just could not understand the toxicity of her venom toward our friend.

Something had to have happened between them to make Spencer so adamant that we couldn't trust Ali, but I could not for the life of me imagine what it was that made her so incredibly angry, and I needed to give Alison the benefit of the doubt. After everything she told me about Cyrus, I felt I had to stand by her and show her she was not alone.

"Fine, I know, I'll talk to Melissa, okay?" Spencer bit out, looking absolutely terrified at the prospect of confronting her older sister.

I couldn't blame her for being frightened, but I was relieved she had agreed to do it regardless.

"Thank you, Spence," I offered sincerely, reaching out to take her hands in my own as I tried my best to catch her eye from the staring contest she was having with my carpet. "Do you want me to come with you, just in case? Melissa kind of scares me, to be honest, so if you feel like you need backup…"

My voice caught in my throat when she grinned and shook her head. She was so beautiful. I had to look away from her so that I could recompose myself, but she beat me to the punch by responding.

"That's okay, Em," she declined gently, squeezing my hands in return and trying to catch my eye as I had hers. "I don't want to put you in the middle of our sibling drama; you don't need to deal with our bullshit on top of everything else. Thank you for the offer though, I really do appreciate it."

Still not quite able to look at her, I kept my eyes on the ground, resorting to a brief nod to acknowledge her thanks.

Spencer took a deep breath when I didn't reply, and then began to speak again.

"What if she doesn't do it, Em?" She asked, ducking her head, her voice hesitant and timid.

Thinking she was still talking about Melissa, I was very confused.

"What if who doesn't do what?" I returned, honestly unsure of what she was talking about.

My best friend looked up at me then, and for the first time in our friendship I was entirely incapable of deciphering what lay behind those soulful eyes. There was a myriad of emotions there, staring back at me, but there was only one that I could name with any degree of certainty:

Vulnerability.

"What if Ali doesn't set Cyrus free?" She finally inquired after a long, excruciating moment of silence.

Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, she looked nervous, almost as if she was expecting me to explode at her at any moment. Not wanting to do that, I had to take a minute to collect myself. That was the one question I had been praying my best friend would not ask, because I truly did not want to think about the answer. I knew exactly where such a betrayal by Ali would lead, and I was far from ready to accept that as a possible eventuality.

"I can't think about that, Spencer. I'm sorry, I'm just not ready to go there," I apologized, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them, trying to protect myself from the onslaught of fear and devastation I was experiencing at just the mention of such a thing happening.

Hesitating for just a moment, Spencer moved to sit behind me, pulling my whole body into her own. She hugged me tightly to her, placing her head on my shoulder and letting out a breath slowly. I was afraid I was about to start crying yet again.

"I know how you feel about her, Em. Believe me, I know that you have convinced yourself that she can do no wrong, because in your eyes even her flaws are beautiful. I know how it feels to look at someone and realize that they hold your heart in their hands, and not be able to think about how real the possibility is that they could crush it. But you need to think about it, because we are all in danger right now, not just Ali, and not just your heart. You know that I want nothing more than to protect you from any and all pain in this world, but this time I can't protect you. Your heart would be safe with me, Em, but I'm not sure it's safe with Ali, and I need you to be able to protect yourself if that ends up being the case," Spencer whispered, sounding as though she were on the verge of tears as well.

My heart was breaking and beating at a million miles a minute at the same time, and I had to take a deep breath to keep myself from getting overwhelmed by all the emotions coursing through me. I hugged my knees tighter to my chest.

Spencer was right. I needed to think about what I was going to do if Ali went back on her word, if she betrayed my trust, no matter how painful such an analysis was sure to be. Placing my forehead on my knees, I started to think about it, leaning further back into Spencer in my search for support and comfort. My best friend just continued to hold me, nuzzling into my neck as she awaited my answer.

Finally, after a few long minutes of deliberation, I realized I had known the answer all along. I just didn't want to say it out loud.

Because I hated it.

"Then we know for certain that Ali can't be trusted," I whispered brokenly, letting the tears escape their prison at the thought of what that would mean for all of us.

Spencer didn't respond. She just held me tightly as I cried, whispering reassuring words that I didn't even hear through my anguish. The thought of losing Ali again was so painful I was having trouble breathing as I thought about it. Losing her to death once was painful enough, but losing her to betrayal would be even worse. I wasn't sure I could handle it, and that just made me cry even harder than before.

Suddenly, another terrifying thought popped into my head, and somehow it was even more gut wrenchingly awful than the thought of losing Ali again. In that moment, I realized that there was a very real possibility that I could lose Spencer because of Ali. Violent sobs took hold of my body as soon as the thought entered my brain, and I clung to my best friend with all of my might.

I couldn't lose her; I wouldn't survive that.

- Spemily -

Spencer had gone home to talk to Melissa once I had calmed down, but she had done so reluctantly, and when I got a call from her only an hour or so later I couldn't help but smile. I assumed that she was calling to check on me, and that made my heart skip in a way that it definitely should not have. Spencer was my best friend, that was all, and I refused to allow myself to entertain the idea that it could ever be more than that between us.

"Hey, Spence, what's up?" I answered, sitting on my bed where I had been staring at a textbook for the last hour, hoping to learn what I needed for my quiz the next day through osmosis since I couldn't focus for the life of me.

"Hey, Em, uh," my best friend sniffed into the phone, immediately putting me on high alert. "Do you think you could come over? I could really use someone to talk to right now…"

She sounded absolutely broken, and I was concerned. If Melissa had done something, I swore to myself that I would not let her get away with it. No one would get away with hurting Spencer if I had any say in the matter.

"Of course, Spencer, what's going on?" I asked gently, already pulling my jacket back on before grabbing my purse and heading down the stairs.

"I'll tell you when you get here," she stated, hanging up before I had a chance to ask any more questions.

That just made me all the more worried.

Jogging down the stairs, I stopped to tell my mom where I was going before exiting the house. I made my way as swiftly across the street as I could without running, intent on getting to Spencer as soon as I possibly could. She needed me, and I was determined to be there for her.

Walking around the side of the house, I did my best to hide in the shadows as I made my way to the kitchen door, wanting to hide from Melissa, whom I assumed was in the barn. Unfortunately, my best was not good enough.

"Emily!" The eldest Hastings sister called, suddenly popping up only a few feet away from me and scaring the ever-living shit out of me.

I jumped about three feet in the air.

"Jesus, Melissa," I exclaimed, my hand grasping at my chest as I tried not to hyperventilate.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," she offered genuinely, holding her hands up in surrender before moving a little closer to me.

I had to force myself not to shy away from her.

"What do you want, Melissa?" I demanded, remembering how distraught Spencer had sounded over the phone and having no doubt that the woman in front of me had something to do with the state my best friend was in.

"I just…" Melissa started, her eyes red, almost as if she had been crying. "You're the only one of Spencer's friends that I actually trust, and that I know cares about Spencer probably as much as I do. I have to leave soon, I don't have a choice, but I don't want to leave her unprotected. Will you promise me that you will look after her while I'm gone? She listens to you, Emily, and she respects you… Just, please, watch out for her?"

She was begging by the end of her speech, and I was flabbergasted. I had not even known the Hastings were capable of begging, and I was thoroughly surprised by Melissa's words. Yes, Spencer and I had been best friends for years, but Melissa and I did not know each other very well, so I had no idea why she felt I was trustworthy or capable of taking care of Spencer.

"Spencer doesn't listen to anyone, Melissa," I contended, changing tactics when she cocked her head and stared at me pleadingly. "I would never let anything happen to Spencer. She's my best friend, and I care about her more than almost anyone else in this world. You don't have to worry, Melissa, even when you're here I do everything in my power to keep Spence safe. I always will."

Melissa just stared at me for a moment, looking as though she knew something that I did not.

I would not have been at all surprised to find that she did.

"Okay, thank you, Emily. I know you two will take care of each other. Be safe," she acknowledged, smiling at me before she started to turn away, leaving me with one last statement before she disappeared into the night. "Alison really isn't worth your time, Emily. She's going to hurt you, she hurts everyone around her, and you don't deserve to be in her firing line. Spencer would never hurt you, not in a million years, I just hope you remember that in the days to come."

With that she was gone, disappearing into the darkness as quickly as she had come.

I just stood staring, trying to figure out what her words had meant, before I remembered that Spencer was waiting for me upstairs. I entered the house and passed through the kitchen before heading up the stairs. Not wanting to startle my best friend, I walked a little more loudly up the stairs than usual and knocked on her bedroom door before walking in.

"Spencer?" I called out as I walked through the door, immediately moving in her direction when I saw she was seated by the window. "Sorry it took me so long, Melissa ambushed me outside right as I was getting here. What the hell happened between you two? She didn't seem at all like herself…"

My best friend finally turned to look at me, and I saw that there were tears in her eyes for the second time that day. Reacting immediately, I moved to sit next to her, wrapping my arms around her as securely as I could.

All of a sudden, I was afraid of her answer.

"I talked to her," Spence began, taking a deep breath and licking her lips before continuing. "She said she wants to tell me everything, but that she has to leave because it's not safe for her here. She wants me to leave with her so she can protect me."

She stopped speaking, but I knew she wasn't done. For the first time in her life outside of what had lead to Radley, Spencer was so overwhelmed that she actually needed time to think through what was happening. I just held her more tightly, content to give her whatever time she needed, knowing she had done the same for me countless times in the past.

"It's terrible, Em, but I really want to go with her. If I did, I could get away from A and Ali and all of this bullshit, but…"

Again, she stopped, and as hard as it was, I took that opportunity to cut in.

"If that's what you need, Spencer, and you have the chance to do it, then you should. I'll miss you like crazy, but all I want is for you to be safe and happy, so I say go for it."

I was dying inside at the thought of Spencer leaving me, but her safety was infinitely more important to me than the heart I could feel breaking inside my chest.

"No," Spencer practically yelled, staring at me as though I had lost my mind. "There is no chance in hell that I'm leaving you to deal with this mess without me. That's what I told Melissa. I could never leave you… and Hanna and Aria to fend for yourselves while all of this shit is hitting the fan. I could never do that to you, Em; I could never leave you unprotected. I don't know that I could ever leave you, period."

She clung to me then, and I was perversely comforted by her words. Logically, I wanted her to leave so that she would be safe, but emotionally I knew that I would never survive her leaving. I wanted to try and explain that to her, but I was interrupted by both of our phones buzzing before I could put the appropriate words together.

Looking down to my phone, I opened the message hesitantly, hoping it wasn't A.

From: Hanna Marin

S.O.S. Ali ID'ed Cyrus. Need to meet.

My heart flew up into my throat and I felt like I was about to vomit. I could not believe it was actually happening. My worst-case scenario was actually coming true.

I stared at my phone for about two minutes before abruptly standing up.

"I'm sorry, Spence, I have to go," I apologized, already making my way to the door.

Spencer shot up as soon as the words escaped my mouth, immediately moving toward me.

"Wait, Emily, I'll come with you. I don't want you to be by yourself right now," she offered, moving to take my hand in one of her own as she tried to get me to stop moving.

Though I squeezed her hand in return, wanting to thank her for the gesture, I quickly let it go and continued on my way.

"Thank you, Spence, but this is something I need to do on my own."

With that, I swiftly exited her room and made my way to Alison's, grateful my best friend did not follow. I knew I was ready to explode with anger at any moment, and the last thing I wanted was for Spencer to get caught in the crossfire.

- Spemily -

Pulling up to Hanna's, I couldn't bring myself to get out of the car right away. I was still burning with rage at Ali for betraying my trust like she had, and I was even more angry that I still managed to feel a twinge of sympathy for her when I saw the hurt flash through her big blue eyes. Spencer had been right, I had allowed Alison to pull me right back into her game, and she had almost succeeded in tearing the four of us apart.

My eyes were completely open in that moment though, and I knew then more than ever that the four of us had to stick together no matter what happened. No matter what Ali put us through. Spencer, Hanna, Aria and I had made it through a lot just by standing by each other, and I refused to let us fail just because Ali was back to manipulating us the same way she had before she abandoned us to A. The girls were too important in my life for me to allow anything to happen to them.

Taking a deep breath, I got out of the car, waving to Caleb as he left before walking around the back of Hanna's house to the kitchen door. Not allowing myself to hesitate, I opened the door quickly and marched through, moving to close it behind me before interacting with the girls since I was still trying to gather my courage.

"Em," Spencer greeted while my back was still turned, concern coloring her voice.

It was obvious that she wanted to continue, but Aria interrupted before she could.

"Are you okay?" My friend asked, her tone indicating a level of anxiety that had become worryingly frequent with her since our return from New York.

I glanced at Aria in an attempt to calm her nerves a little, but quickly returned my attention to Spencer. It seemed I always turned my attention to Spencer.

"You were right, Spencer," I capitulated, playing with the envelope in my hands nervously. "We can't trust Alison, not after tonight."

"Not you too," Aria begged, sadness mingling with the anxiety in her voice.

She was obviously not convinced by Spencer's argument, and I could understand her hesitance, but we did not have time for it. Knowing she would only be comfortable enough to hear us out if she were given back some semblance of control, I placed the envelope in front of her, basically putting our fates in her hands.

"Look, I know that this affects you more than the rest of us, okay? I know that. But I really hope you can get onboard. We need to cut ties with Ali now. Tonight."

It was the hardest thing I had ever had to say, but I was relieved to have it out as I looked pleadingly from one of my friends to the next. Aria looked back to Hanna and Spencer, who looked questioningly at each other, before she moved to take a seat on one of the barstools. It was obvious that she needed some time to think. Hanna moved around to stand next to her, placing a hand lightly on her back in a show of support, while Spencer moved to my side to do the same.

"Em, can we talk for a second?" My best friend asked quietly, nodding toward the foyer to indicate that she wanted to speak privately.

I just nodded, squeezing Aria's shoulder before following Spencer out of the kitchen.

"Listen, Em, I know this was my idea, but we don't have to go through with it," she offered in a whisper, her voice urgent and full of internal conflict as she stared at me earnestly. "Remember, I know how you feel about Alison, and I know what it's like to feel for someone that strongly. If you're doing this in the heat of the moment and it's going to hurt you later, if you're going to look back on this in the future and regret it, we don't need to do it, especially right now. We can find another way. I'll think of something else. I couldn't stand it if I were the reason you were hurting."

Spencer's words were so beautiful and honest that they gave me goosebumps, but I was not going to allow that to sway me. I was already in pain, and I deserved to be for falling for Ali's tricks all over again. So my getting hurt was not of concern to me. Instead, I was determined to keep my friends from being hurt as I had been. If I could keep them safe then all of my pain would have been worth it in the end.

Somehow I had to make Spencer understand that.

"I know that you're worried about me, Spence, but I'm already hurting, and as much as you would like to believe differently, there's nothing you can do about that right now," I argued, cupping her face gently in both of my hands as I forced her to look in my eyes. "Right now, we have to focus on keeping each other safe from A and from Ali, and the only way I am going to feel better is if I can protect you three from experiencing the same pain that I am. So you need to let me do that, Spencer. You need to let me protect you."

Placing my forehead against hers, I knew I needed the contact to calm me; I needed the comfort that only Spencer could give me. She sniffled, sounding like she might cry, before she pulled me into a tight hug, and I embraced her just as fiercely in return.

"Anything you need, Em. You know you can ask me for anything," Spencer breathed, running a hand through my hair before burrowing into the crook of my neck, as had become her habit of late.

We held each other for a long time, and I never wanted to let her go.

The clearing of someone's throat interrupted the moment, and I looked up to find Hanna smirking at us. There was a mischievous twinkle in her eye that I didn't trust, and I suddenly found myself blushing furiously for no discernible reason. Pulling away from Spencer gently, I raised my eyebrow at Hanna, a trick I had definitely picked up from my best friend over the years.

"We should probably talk through this plan if you two love birds are done whispering secrets to each other," Hanna chuckled, that smirk still firmly in place and becoming more and more annoying with every second.

"We'll be there in a minute, Hanna," Spencer offered a little shakily, still not looking at our friend.

Hanna just shrugged before going back into the kitchen, and Spencer moved to look me straight in the eye once more.

"You have to know that I would do anything for you, Em."