Author's Note: So I've had a shitty two weeks and I tried writing this and getting it out "on time" (once a week) so while filling out so much paperwork and horrible L.A. driving (Other people's not mine... I also got lost and somehow wound up in Harbor City), I somehow pushed this chapter out of me. Some aspects were fun and others weren't but I feel like it turned out well.

Aside from having a bad few weeks, I returned home to New York, prepared to go to work the next morning, only to wake up with a snow day, so a day relaxing and seeing my baby brother was a nice change of pace from funeral planning in LA.

November 2, 2016

Roan walked into the garage and his eyes quirked up at the sight of a woman in the shop, but figured it's the woman Clarke spoke about, the one that helped Bellamy with their son, she had the name of a bird, which bird, he couldn't remember.

"Can I help you?" she asked, carrying a tire from one side of the room to the car she's working on.

"Yes, my motorcycle is making some noise, I don't… I usually have people deal with it for me but my assistant quit a few months ago and the temps the agency sent over which aren't working out so well compared to her so here I am stuck in Arkadia, Virginia with no way to—"

"Okay, slow the hell down, no one talks that fast down here. Where's the bike?"

"Outside."

The woman grimaced and Roan thought the look made her look more serious. "Do you know Clarke Griffin?"

"That's the assistant I was referring to."

"I can't help you," she said and turned her back on him to get back to work on the car.

"Oh, come on, why not?"

"Because you know Clarke. Any friend of Clarke's isn't a friend of mine."

"I'm not asking for a friend, I'm looking for bike help," Roan grimaced.

"I said no."

"I don't even get a chance to explain how I know her? That I never once thought that sleeping with a married woman was an option?"

"They're separated," Raven corrected.

"Giving him the right to sleep with Gina, sure. But to Clarke, they were still married, all the separation papers did was give her more time to work on her sobriety. You have no idea how many situations I helped her work out for when she'd come back."

"That didn't give her the right to stay away for six years!" she raised her voice and Roan thought he could understand her perspective, but there was something about her that made Roan see that Raven wasn't seeing it from Clarke's perspective, but rather from the view of an overprotective mama bear. From what Clarke's told him over the years, it was somewhat out of character for Raven, more Octavia and Bellamy's style, but damn was it hot on her.

"Would you have been any friendlier to her if she'd come back three years ago? That was when she first thought she was ready and the thought of coming back here and facing Octavia, nearly drove her to drink."

"Octavia drives everyone to drink, it's her thing. What kind of bike?"

"Indian Chief Dark Horse."

"You had me at Indian," the girl smirked, dropping the screw gun and headed out the garage to Roan's bike. "I'm Raven Reyes, by the way."

"Roan Iceman."

"Yeah, the guys at the station actually looked you up already, we saw all the pictures of you and Clarke at benefits and stuff."

Raven knelt at the bike and looked at the engine, biting her lip. Roan couldn't help but watch her, she was enthralling.

"Helping her stay sober while being around alcohol, it was good practice for her and each time she was my plus one, I paid for a class so it was a win-win."

Raven spun around and glared at Roan, "You paid for her teaching degree?"

"I'm a generous boss. But then again, Clarke was more than I hoped for in an employee."

"And you're staying with her?"

"For the time being, I'm looking into a building in Richmond but the owner is giving me the run around, so until I can speak with him, I'm here."

"You're in real estate?"

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"The other guy I know in real estate is running for president."

"I'm never going to run for president."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, I don't think I'd be good for the country. I can't even hold down an assistant."

"I hear that says more about them than it does you," Raven quipped, standing up with a pained expression. "Is the problem a strange valve like noise when you hit 2400 RPM?"

"I haven't paid attention to the RPM, but yeah."

"They released a statement saying that it's normal, which you wouldn't expect. Um, I can still look into it, but I think it's just the engine."

"You're sure?"

"Believe it or not, just because I can't ride a bike, doesn't mean I can't know everything about them."

"You can't ride?"

"I don't really talk about it, but when I lived in LA, I was in the cross fire of a drive-by shooting and the doctors thought I would be paralyzed. Now I just can't do anything involving two legs."

"That must suck."

"Yeah, and thank you for not apologizing, it drives me nuts when I give people my sob story and they apologize like they could have stopped it from happening."

"I was in LA, I could have!" Roan smirked.

"Well, then why didn't you, asshole!" Raven smirked.

"I was too awe-struck."

Raven face fell as she watched him for a minute, gauging his statement. "Tomorrow. Dropship. Eight o'clock."

"Sounds good," Roan smiled and hopped on his bike. "There's not going to be an angry mob there waiting for me, is there?"

"No, it's Bellamy's night off so we should have a pitchfork free night."

November 26, 2016

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Bellamy asked Jake for the umpteenth time.

"Yes, Dad," he said rolling his eyes and Bellamy grimaced, wondering how troublesome the boy was going to be as a teenager.

"And you have my number if anything happens?"

"Do you want something to happen? This is Mom, she can handle one night with me, I'm not that bad." Bellamy imagined the young boy rolling his impossibly blue eyes, his mother's eyes, while saying that, trying to keep his own focus on the road in front of them.

"You will regret saying that when you have children of your own in thirty years."

"You were twenty-eight."

Bellamy turned the steering wheel, taking them towards Clarke's apartment. "I stand by thirty-five." Bellamy wasn't even thirty-five.

Jake laughed, Bellamy mostly said things like that to him in hopes that they stick. Not that he regrets having Jake when he did, just how they did. Bellamy often thought that if they'd waited and Clarke came back from rehab and they tried that their lives would be better. Her return proved that in the two months she's been here. "I memorized your phone number, I've had it memorized for three years. We'll be fine, Dad, she has board games and is ordering sausage pizza, my favorite. She's trying, let her."

"Okay, but call me the second you hate it."

"I'm not going to hate it."

"I'm just giving you the option."

"Go have fun with Uncle Lincoln. You haven't spent time with him since summer."

"Even my son is telling me how to live my life! I'm never going to be my own person!" Bellamy grumbled, reaching over to tickle Jake, causing a roar of laughter that lightened the mood as Bellamy pulled the truck over in front of Niylah's store to go up to Clarke's apartment.

"Hey!" she exclaimed opening the door, giving Jake a huge hug. Bellamy received a wary smile.

"Did you get it?" Jake asked excited.

"Did I get it? Of course, I got it! You asked for it!"

"For what?"

Jake and Clarke exchanged a look and laughed as Jake ran into the kitchen, leaving Clarke and Bellamy in the doorway.

"What's that about?" Bellamy asked.

"We'll be fine, Bellamy. Stop worrying."

"He's not allowed to play with knives or anywhere near fire."

"I know, Bellamy. He's almost six, I'm fairly certain both of those are frowned upon until at least ten years old," Clarke smirked.

"Okay, I'm with Lincoln tonight so if you need anything or if anything happens…"

"Bell, we'll be fine, I have my mom on speed dial. Just plan your vacation and I'll tell you if this works out."

"Okay," Bellamy leaned in for a kiss but Clarke turned her head so he kissed her cheek. He forgot about their argument the other day and wished they could talk instead of yell, but Jake was in the other room and Clarke looks like she's not in the mood to talk to him.

"Jake, come say goodbye to Dad!" she called.

Jake came running from the kitchen and jumped into Bellamy's arms as he squeezed him tight. "I'll miss you, bud," Bell told him and Jake sighed.

"You say that every time you leave."

"I know, but you're my little man, I can't not miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Dad," he smirked and Bellamy wondered if he inherited it from him or just watched him over the years and practiced.

"You're taking him to your mom's tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I think she's taking us to lunch and just exchanging him. More finite details tomorrow, you know how the hospital is sometimes."

"Yeah, I do. So, you'll call and let me know or…"

"Call, text, whatever. I just want him to be comfortable."

"Mom, come on!" Jake said tugging on Clarke's arm.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" she said and turned back to Bellamy. "We'll see you, Bell," she said and Bellamy stepped back onto the deck and Clarke closed the door separating Bellamy from his family for the first time in six years.

"You seriously need to stop worrying about them. They're fine, Bell, this was your idea anyway," Lincoln said during the commercial of the Notre Dame v Army game at the Dropship.

"I can't stop worrying, she hates me."

"No, she hates how you've been acting and I don't blame her, you've been an ass to her since she got back."

"What would you have done if it was O?"

"I'd be pissed, no doubt, but I wouldn't have her jumping through the insane hoops you have Clarke jumping through."

"Like what? I don't think I'm making her jump through anything."

"Gina," Lincoln pointed his beer bottle down the bar towards where Bellamy suspected Gina was working. "You're hurting them both with that one. She can only see Jake on Saturdays, and Thanksgiving," Bellamy made a face at the holiday. "You gave her that because it was at her mom's house. What did you do?"

"We had sex," Bellamy grimaced, the seriousness of the conversation took his already partial focus off the football game and back into the horrible realness of his marital situation. "That's what she's mad at me about. She also says she can't trust me around Gina."

"I don't either. I don't know what that girl is to you, but she's not good when you're trying to get back together with your wife."

"I think I miss the idea of marriage more than I do being married," Bellamy admitted, mostly to himself, the slight realization hit him suddenly.

"That makes no sense."

"The idea of being married, the permanence, the always having someone to come home to, but the ball-and-chain reality sucks."

"You were married a year before Maya died, then it all went downhill. You had the honeymoon year before Clarke's life went up in flames. You were trying to be a good friend to Jasper while being a good husband, trying to figure out what Clarke needed when you should have been focusing on Clarke. Jasper had us all, he didn't need you, Clarke needed you."

"I can't take that back, I can't take responsibility for Clarke when she wouldn't talk to me. Believe me, I tried with her, but she was just too stubborn," he chugged the rest of his pint of Sam Adams before reaching around the bar, refilling his glass at the tap.

"Like you?" Lincoln asked, as Bellamy sat back in his seat with a full glass of beer. "Bellamy, you and Clarke are the two most stubborn people I know. If you got it in your head that you weren't going to forgive her, you won't. Whether you love her or not, you would not forgive her. I think it's what you're doing to her right now, you're making her work harder than she has to for your forgiveness, when you should be happy that she hasn't had a drink yet. Hell, if I were in her shoes, I'd have been back in rehab in two weeks. Clarke is strong and resilient, but Bellamy, something on your end has to give."

"I have to leave," Bellamy said, more to himself than to Lincoln, knowing that Lincoln made a lot of sense.

"You really think that you leaving will do any good? What are you going to do with Jake?"

"Clarke can handle him, that's what tonight is for. A test for her to see if she can handle him alone and overnight."

"Does she know it's a test?"

"It was her idea for it to be a test run," Bellamy drank some of his cold beer.

"So, sex hasn't changed anything between you?"

"She's angry that it happened, I thought it made us better, but I think she's right. I think she has a better sense and outlook on it all, that rehab helped her look at things from a better perspective than she had before."

"In other words, she doesn't put up with your bullshit."

"Essentially. I get this feeling that Roan has something to do with it too, but I don't want to argue with her over him when he's with Raven or they're sex buddies, I don't want to know."

"Sex buddies sounds dirtier than fuck buddies."

"Yeah, well, I think they're more than fuck buddies but the fact that he lives in Boston is bringing them back down to the level of non-committal sex that Raven's craved and Roan wants? But there are some feelings there, you saw them at Thanksgiving."

"Oh, yeah, I wanted to tell the girls not to look at some points. I didn't even want to look."

"I was shocked to say the least, but at least it explained why Raven was pushing me to talk to Clarke the last three weeks."

"Aside from it being the mature thing to do?"

"Aside from that," Bellamy scoffed, taking another sip of beer.

November 3, 2016

"What would you do if I told you I had a date tomorrow?" Roan asked, setting the dinner table.

Clarke froze with the cooked chicken parm in her mitted hands. "Um, what?"

"A date."

"A real date?" she asked in disbelief, placing the pan on the stove top.

"I think so. I mean she said we're meeting at the Dropship, which is a bar, but it can start with drinks and proceed to dinner or a casual meal, right?"

"One: she who? Two: how do you not know standard dating protocol?"

"The last five years I've spent wining and dining you, pretty unsuccessfully and Raven Reyes."

"Rav—wha—how?" Clarke practically yelled.

"To which part?" Roan asked.

"Raven!"

"Um, well, I went to get that weird noise checked on the Dark Horse and I'm pretty sure we flirted and I think I came on a little too strong and next thing I knew she said 'Tomorrow. Dropship. Eight o'clock.' And I said it sounded good. So that's tonight in two hours."

"It could be a trap, that's Bellamy's bar. What if—"

"He's not working, I did ask about pitch forks."

"With the people in this town, you should be worried about flame throwers."

"I think I'll be fine with Raven around, I hear people fear her."

"This means you're putting down roots here, you know?"

"Because my best friend and maybe girlfriend, since I'm jumping the gun, are here? Yeah, I'm aware. You know Trump has buildings all over the world and he's stationed out of New York."

"Don't bring him up. He shouldn't be your role model for anything. Do business how you feel fit, don't copy someone else's work."

"I'm pretty sure he didn't start in Boston and choose Richmond as his next business venture."

"I don't know and I really don't care, I'm still rather pissed about the whole Raven thing."

"I know you told her to fuck off when I arrived but she seemed to really listen to me when I explained everything and even said that her friends at the police station looked me up and she knows that there's nothing between us."

"I'm trying not to care about other people's opinions besides Jake's and Bellamy's but it's difficult when they're all intricately woven into both of their lives!" Clarke sighed. "Raven is a good person, you'll definitely like her, but I just don't know if I can spend time with her after the way she's been treating me. She's certainly not welcome here."

"I didn't ask that. Um, speaking of your apartment, how would you like me to pay you back for staying here?"

"What are you offering?"

"You've learned after years of lowballing me, damn! Um, depending on how long I stay. If it's more than a month, you get a car, if it's under a month you get a car."

"I think I'd like a car," Clarke smirked.

"How do you manage?"

"I had you in Boston and I like walking, it's healthy, but a car would be handy for groceries."

"Christmas presents, you have a village now. It's weird to see."

"You met Bell and Raven. Raven isn't getting anything this year and I wouldn't know what to get Bellamy, he doesn't ever want much."

"So go shopping with Jake, find out."

"It's not like I can take him anywhere, I'm stuck at Raven's or at the park. Nowhere near the mall."

"We'll go look for a car after work tomorrow, okay?"

"I don't—fine, we're going to look, Roan. Not buy the first one I show some excitement over. Looks aren't everything, there's practicality too."

"Like a Civic?"

"I don't want a Civic. Are you eating dinner or are you going to wait for Raven and see if that's what she was planning?"

"I'm hungry, I'm eating with you."

Clarke rolled her eyes as she turned to the cabinets behind her to grab plates for them.

November 26, 2016

"I'm warning you now, I'm not good at this," Clarke grimaced at the table top in front of her. Jake knelt on a chair next to her, looking over the ingredients spread over their work space.

"You're the one that said you wanted to make it up to Auntie Tava, right? Well, it's Mel's birthday Sunday, we need to bake her a cake. It's a gesture, Uncle Lincoln taught us that actions speak louder than words."

"What do you mean Lincoln taught you?"

"He's my kindergarten teacher."

"I did not know that," Clarke smiled, kissing the top of Jake's head before turning her phone on to read the directions on how to bake a chocolate cake d. her adorable three-year-old niece she didn't know she had until two days ago.

"He's the best!"

"I always liked him. Your dad however, he did not, but that's a story for when you're older. Now help me with this cake, this was your idea!"

Clarke set the oven to three hundred and fifty degrees before turning back to the counter to help her son measure out all the ingredients to mix together, hoping that the batter will turn out perfect, she didn't want to have to do this all over again. She wasn't food preparation inclined.

"Grandma and I did this for Daddy's birthday last year, he doesn't like on chocolate though."

"No, he hates chocolate. We had lemon cake at our wedding, it wasn't my favorite, but he liked it. That's all I cared about."

"Daddy said you didn't want a big wedding, that Grandma made it bigger than you wanted."

Clarke and Jake began working on mixing the ingredients together while they talked. And Clarke chuckled at the memories from wedding planning seven—no, eight years ago. She gave Bellamy one good year before ruining everything they had, drinking her life away, the first six years of their son's life was a mystery to her. She did that to them, she did that to Jake, to Bellamy. why would they forgive her? Why should she be forgiven? She left them to essentially fend for themselves, Bellamy was searching for a teaching position, he should be a teacher, not the owner of a bar that his wife can't even go into without temptation.

Wife. No, she's not his wife, legally she is but she's been gone six of the eight years, how could they be deemed married when they've been apart far longer than they were together? That thought brought Clarke back to the present where her son just said something about her mother with the wedding, Clarke's wedding to Bellamy, right.

"She did. I wanted to elope, go to city hall and have the justice of the peace marry us, not the big white dress down the aisle in a church. Your grandma settled for a backyard wedding. I still wore the white dress, but it was the dress I wanted, not the big princess dress, though your father would have preferred that. It was his nickname for me."

"Princess?" he asked, making a face.

"Yeah, we came from two different world, so it was somewhat scandalous to Grandma's friends and coworkers, her daughter marrying a poor man. She cared about that, she fought me at every turn once your grandfather died. Sorry, my father, not Grandpa Kane. she changed, but I think it was because she felt she had to be twice the parent she was before. I just wanted my mom."

"Dad said I would have liked him."

Clarke smiled, knowing her father would have loved Jake, "You were named after him, you know."

"Dad didn't tell me that."

"I wouldn't assume he would. Your father is still mad at me for leaving, whether he admits it or not. I wasn't there when he named you, but I am thankful that he respected my wishes and named you after my father."

"Did grandpa like Daddy?" Jake asked, the name for Bellamy reminded Clarke of how young and innocent her son was, she knows he's almost six, knows his innocence, but sometimes he's a lot older than he should be. Telling him all the drama and heartache his family has endured wasn't something a six-year-old should know about. Not yet, he should keep as much innocence as he possibly can before he finds out how cruel and twisty the world can be.

But Clarke couldn't lie to him, "He liked him when he was just O's brother, O and I were best friends, you know? He didn't like how we butted heads and argued every time we were together, but liked and respected your dad's family values, how he took care of O once their mother died. He'd just graduated high school and had scholarships that covered the cost of college and he worked two jobs. Once he got some grants that went to him and not directly to the school, he could quit one of the jobs. But then he and I got together so he was as busy as he was before but not working so hard, he could relax. He was more tolerable when he was relaxed. I think my dad appreciated how your father managed his time between everything."

"You, school and work?"

"Y—yeah. I—I wish I knew why he wasn't teaching. He loved history more than anybody I know."

"He tells me stories at night, before bed. Names I don't understand, Octavia was one of them."

Clarke smiled, "They're myths, your dad's favorite, he doesn't read from a book?"

"No."

"I wouldn't think so, he has to have memorized them all by now."

"He told me that you gave him something when you first met, something extremely valuable and rare, so beautiful, but at the time he didn't appreciate it, didn't know it's value. Do you know what that is?"

"When we first met? That was sixteen years ago, I couldn't—I don't… I was fifteen and in love with a boy who loved someone else, I was angry, I didn't give him anything," Clarke grimaced, pouring the chocolate batter into one of the two round pans she had to buy for this cake they're making, before pouring the second half into the other pan.

"I like knowing about you and Daddy. I don't like how you two are now, I want to see you with him like the photo album."

"What photo album?" Clarke asked him, knowing it couldn't have been their wedding album, that was tucked away in the garage, she'd put it there before she left in case Bellamy wanted to get rid of everything reminding him of her.

"Grandma showed me at Thanksgibing, you and Daddy and Auntie Tava and Raven. Uncle Miller and Murphy."

"Oh, God, Murphy is your uncle too?"

"He spends most of his time with Emori, I think he's scared of kids."

Clarke laughed, helping Jake off the chair, handing him one of the pans before opening the oven door so the cake could bake. She picked up the other one and they both slid the pans into the oven, careful not to touch the burning hot rack, before closing the door.

Clarke knew that Murphy was afraid of kids, she was also surprised that he's seeing someone, maybe that's too serious a phrasing, that he's…seeing someone. All through high school and college, Murphy was too much of a douche bag to date anyone let alone have flings. Honestly surprised Bellamy could even get girls with his assholiness, but then again there was something that pulled her into his clutches and twelve years later she's still here. Still willing to do anything to keep him, make him hers again, but Clarke also knew that Bellamy had to do some work too, that she couldn't do it all. She has been doing it all.

And something had to give.