By the time the Order members began trickling in, they had the kitchen presentable and a large pot of tea under a warming spell. Though awkwardness still lingered in the air between Emma and Remus, their shared task of cleaning the kitchen had brought them to a comfortable amiability. They finished up the cleaning as a pair of new members walked in door.
"Nymphadora?!" said Sirius in disbelief.
Emmeline turned to look at the young, pretty witch who was walking in with a tall, handsome dark-skinned man. The young woman had bright pink hair and beautiful brown eyes, but when she caught sight of the man who'd just said her name, she stumbled backward against the wall, reaching for her wand.
"SIRIUS BLACK!" shouted the witch. "KINGSLEY, IT'S SIRIUS BLACK!"
Before anyone could do or say anything, the pink-haired woman had cast a Body Bind Curse, and Sirius fell face first onto the floor.
"NYMPHADORA!" yelled the man, who must be Kinglsey, as he grabbed her wand from her to prevent her from casting anything else.
"We've caught Sirius Black!" she cried exuberantly.
"Nymphadora-"
"Stop calling me that!" she said.
"Excuse me, Tonks," the man said.
Nymphadora Tonks was staring around at the faces in the room, with expressions ranging from horrified to amused. Emmeline had dropped to her knees, rolling Sirius onto his back. She cast the Counter-Curse, and then quickly repaired his nose, which had broken in the fall.
"Why is no one concerned about Sirius Black being right here in front of us?" said Tonks nervously.
"He's in the Order," said Kingsley.
"Ohhhhhh," said Tonks, turning a bit pink. "I suppose that does make sense, considering we're at the house where he grew up . . ."
"Good to see you again, Nymyphadora," said Sirius, standing from the floor and wiping blood from his nose.
"Don't call me that!" she snapped. "It's just Tonks, all right? And sorry about your nose."
"No harm done," Sirius said with a smile. "Nymph- er - Tonks, this is Emmeline Vance. Emma, this is my baby cousin, Nymph – sorry – Tonks."
Emmeline shook the young girl's hand, unable to stop herself from being a bit annoyed at the outburst. Some people simply had no idea how to behave.
"And this is Remus Lupin," said Sirius, indicating his sandy-haired friend. "He's a friend from Hogwarts. Werewolf, too. Don't hex him, though."
Remus looked ashamed and stepped back from Sirius's young cousin, but Tonks was unfazed. She reached out her hand and took Remus's, though he seemed reluctant. Emmeline saw her eyes roam up and down his form, and she felt a peculiar mix of jealousy and excitement rush over her. That reckless young woman was checking him out!
The Order meeting convened moments later, after a small group of Weasleys had arrived: Arthur, who still seemed a bit nervous around Emma as she hadn't seen him since her outburst ages ago, Molly, and Bill. The business discussed was fairly straightforward. They made introductions, shared a few rumours of Voldemort and Death Eater movements, and discussed one issue of importance: a Prophecy. Apparently, Dumbledore believed Voldemort would be after this prophecy in the months to come, seeking to understand more about the relationship he had with Harry Potter. Dumbledore did not reveal its contents, but did discuss the need for guarding the Department of Mysteries against Voldemort.
"Does the Ministry not guard the prophecies?" asked Emmeline.
"They do," answered Dumbledore, "but I do worry that the Ministry may be infiltrated by Voldemort's supporters. I would prefer someone from the Order to be on duty at all times."
"I can," said Remus. "I've nothing else to do."
"I can, too," said Emmeline, realizing that she'd never told anyone about the Death Eaters withdrawing their funds. She quickly recounted the morning's events. "I've lost three of my best clients, so I don't have a lot to do."
"I can help," interjected Sirius.
"No," said Dumbledore at once. "You'll stay here."
Emmeline gave Sirius a sympathetic smile, but Sirius's expression was stony.
"Miss Vance and Mister Lupin will do for now," said Dumbledore. "We'll rotate more into guard duty after the summer holidays end. We also need to ensure that someone is keeping an eye on Harry."
"I can do that," said Sirius. "In dog form."
Dumbledore gave Sirius a patient smile that clearly indicated Sirius would be doing nothing of the sort. Sirius looked petulant, his eyes clouding over in anger and the haunted look returning to his countenance, but he remained silent. The rest of the Order members figured out a rotation of guards for Privet Drive.
"Very well. Here is a map of the Department of Mysteries for you and Mister Lupin," said Dumbledore, handing her a map. "I think that's all the business for today. We will reconvene soon."
The Order members filed out slowly, shaking each other's hands and whispering good luck wishes. Sirius remained seated, arms crossed over his chest, while Remus and Emmeline saw the others out. When they had gone, Remus spread the map over the countertop. They leaned over it together, talking quietly and pointing to various locations that might be weak points where a Death Eater could sneak by.
"Looks like we'll be spending a lot of time up there over the next couple of months," said Remus.
Emmeline nodded.
"This weekend is the full moon," he continued, "so I won't be able to be there."
She wrapped an arm around him in a reassuring way.
"Don't worry about it," she answered, turning to him and smiling as she gazed into his amber eyes.
"Did you two fuck while I was in Azkaban?" asked Sirius abruptly.
Emmeline and Remus both turned to stare at him with open mouths. Sirius's eyes were flashing dangerously. He leaned forward toward them.
"Don't think I can't tell."
His voice caught her off guard with its surprising bitterness. The Azkaban Sirius hadn't surfaced in ages, and she'd almost forgotten how volatile he could be. His grey eyes were sparkling in fury, his skin pale and every muscle in his body standing taut. She was still leaning over the table close to Remus, who seemed aghast at Sirius's outburst, the map of the Department of Mysteries forgotten.
"Isn't that just lovely?" he said coldly. "My girl and the only friend I had left, in the throes of heated passion, rejoicing at the fact that the deranged criminal Sirius Black isn't in their way anymore, so they can be together."
"Sirius," said Remus, astonished, but Sirius ignored him.
"Did you teach him how you like to be fucked, Emma? Did you like it when he licked your cunt?" he said viciously, rising from his seat and walking slowly toward her.
"Sirius, I-" began Emmeline.
"Shut up," he snapped. "Shut up! After all I've been through, rotting away in Azkaban trying desperately to cling onto my memories of you-"
He was advancing on her now, his finger jabbed out at her chest. There was none of the familiar Sirius there. Emmeline was backing up to the wall. Remus was watching, horror-struck.
"And all I could think about when I got out was getting back to you. Little did I know you were shagging my best friend-"
"Sirius, you were gone! Remus was all I had left!" she said.
At this, Sirius flew into a rage, grabbing Emmeline's shoulders and forcing her against the wall, lifting her several inches above the ground.
"All you had left?! All YOU had left?! I SAT IN AZKABAN WITH MY SOUL SLOWLY LEAKING OUT OF MY BODY! Don't you EVER talk to me about having NOTHING LEFT!" Sirius shouted.
His eyes gleamed with the soulless quality that haunted them since Azkaban. This was not Sirius Black. This was the demented convict that she saw screaming in wanted posters. This was the broken man.
"Sirius, you're hurting me!" said Emmeline.
He was enraged, out of his mind. At that moment, Sirius took his right hand and wrapped it around her neck. In a panic, she began to claw at his hand, choking for breath-
"Let. Her. Go." growled Remus dangerously through gritted teeth, his wand now drawn and leveled directly at Sirius's head.
Sirius's eyes were vicious, but a slow spark of recognition lit at the back of them. Emmeline was gasping for breath. She saw his widen as he looked from his hand to her face, suddenly losing the deranged gleam in his eyes, and his expression shifting from malice to horror. He pulled away from her like he'd been burned. He turned and fled from the room.
Emmeline immediately turned to Remus, whose wand was still pointing to the place where Sirius had just stood. She began to massage her throat, and Remus's arm lowered. Emma was panting heavily, completely overwhelmed and unsure of what to do next. Fourteen years habit made her want to fly into Remus's arms and sob on his shoulder. Now, with Sirius back in the mix, she didn't know what to do.
"Are you all right?" said Remus, straightening his robes and trying to appear calm, though she could see fiery emotions lurking underneath the composed exterior.
Emmeline dropped her hand from her throat and nodded. She could feel tears pricking the corners of her eyes and fought to keep them from escaping. She truly didn't want Remus to know how upset she was. She wanted everything to be normal. She wanted Sirius to be a man who wasn't haunted by demons that could turn him into a deranged madman at the slightest provocation. She wanted there to be no haunting threat of You-Know-Who lingering over every word they spoke. She wanted for Remus to be James's best friend and for her to be Lily's and-
"Oh, Emma," said Remus, seeing through her facade in an instant. He took two strides to her and wrapped her in his arms, and the floodgates burst open. She began to sob violently against his shoulder, trembling from head to foot.
She wanted to sob into Sirius's shoulder, yet Sirius was the man who might strangle her in a temporary moment of insanity.
As her sobs reduced to shuddering gasps, Emmeline wiped her eyes against Remus's shirt. She pulled away and took a deep breath, her eyes straying at the staircase that Sirius had clambered up moments earlier.
"What are you going to do?" Remus asked harshly.
"What do you mean?" she said.
"Are you gonna go up there to him? After he tried to kill you?" snapped Remus, amber eyes blazing.
"I . . . I don't know . . ."
He stepped away from her, grasping at his hair in frustration and staring at the wall as though he couldn't even bear to look at her.
"Merlin, Emma," he said in a strangled voice as his fingers rubbed his lined forehead.
He turned back to her, the composure that was ever-present falling away as his eyes glittered. Her heart hammered in her chest.
"Do you love that man?" he asked wildly.
Her breaths were heaving. Remus looked as though he might be moments from breaking. Could she do this to him? Could she break him?
"Dammit, Emma, answer me!" he shouted, flinging his arms in the air in desperation.
"I . . ." she stammered miserably. "Yes, Remus. Yes, I love him."
Remus looked shattered. Emma's tears were falling freely now.
"Remus-"
"No," he said, his voice shaking with rage and sadness. "Go on. Go to him."
"Remus!"
"I'll let myself out," he snapped, grabbing his traveling cloak and disappearing.
Emmeline stumbled into the sitting room and collapsed onto the couch sobbing. It wasn't supposed to be this difficult! Sirius was back. She was supposed to fall into his arms and marry him and be with him forever! He wasn't supposed to be a broken man. Remus wasn't supposed to be in love with her. She wasn't supposed to be crying alone at Sirius's childhood home.
She heard Sirius's shuffling feet. When she opened her eyes, she saw Sirius's face in front of hers, his eyes red and watery. He had been crying, too.
"Merlin, Emma," he said, his fingers touching her throat. The look on his face stated plainly that there were bruises. "I should be committed for this. I should be back in Azkaban."
She said nothing.
"I'm dangerous. I'm a danger to you, I'm a danger to everyone," he continued. "Go back to Remus. Please. He can take care of you. If there's anyone in this world I'd want you to be with besides me, it's him."
His eyes were shining with tears at his last words.
"I'm sorry I came between you two," he said, eyes downcast. "I didn't mean-"
"Stop it," she snapped. "Just stop that. Yes, I slept with Remus, but you were gone. You were gone, and rather than go out seeking some stranger to keep me sane, I slept with Remus, okay?"
Sirius was staring at her as though she'd struck him.
"I wasn't with him. I don't love him. I love you," she said, and she trailed off when she realized the admission she'd made.
Sirius's fingers caressed the bruises on her neck.
"I'm bad for you," he whispered.
She smiled and removed his hand from her throat.
"I think you said the same thing when we dated at Hogwarts," she replied.
Sirius gave a watery chuckle.
"Back then it was the pranks and the trouble-making. And the fact that I'd already slept with about sixteen of the girls at the school. It's different now," he said, his expression shadowed. "I could have killed you."
Emmeline gave a haughty laugh.
"Do you really think I'm incapable of defending myself?" she said with a superior smirk.
He attempted a smile and brought her hand to his lips, kissing it gently. He maneuvered so that he was sitting next to her on the couch, and she snuggled against him. She could feel that every muscle in his body was tense, as if he was terrified of losing control again. She sighed and felt her eyes beginning to fall closed.
"I should go," she said quietly, before sleep claimed her.
She disentangled herself from him and stood. His grey eyes were unfocused and fixed on a point somewhere in the corner of the room. She bent down to kiss his cheek before walking out the door. On the stoop of Number 12 Grimmauld Place, she Apparated back to her flat.
Opening the door to her small apartment, she saw Remus stretched out on the couch. Though she found herself surprised that he was there, she knew she shouldn't be. Where else would he go?
"I know you're awake," she said aloud, hanging her coat on the hook.
"How?" he mumbled.
"No snoring," she said.
He sat up on the couch, dark circles beneath his eyes and his jaw unshaven. He rubbed his prematurely-lined face with tired fingers. Emmeline sat next to him, and neither spoke for a long moment.
"I'm sorry, Remus," she said honestly.
Remus said nothing.
"It wasn't supposed to be this way, you know. James and Lily should be alive, Sirius and I should be married, and you should still be shagging Elizabeth Pilkington rotten," said Emma.
Remus gave her a long-suffering look, though she saw the edges of his mouth twitch. She wrapped an arm around him and he rested his head against hers.
"I guess fate had other plans," she sighed.
"You're meant to be with him," said Remus. "I know that. I've always known that. I don't know why it seemed like such a . . . such a punch in the gut when you said you loved him. I've always known it to be true."
Remus stopped speaking, but Emmeline felt that he had more to say.
"Remember when you asked me if I loved Lily?" he said, and she murmured an affirmative. "I did. I loved her back when she hated James. I thought I had a chance, too. And . . . I think somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain, I thought I had a chance with you, too."
Emmeline gave him a wan smile.
"Remus, you are the best man I have ever known," she said truthfully. "You're kind and gentle and honest and loving."
Remus hadn't even looked at her.
"And handsome," she added. "And good in bed."
At that, Remus blushed, and she elbowed him playfully.
"You'll find someone," she said warmly, a surprising image of the pink-haired young witch from the Order meeting popping into her head.
The sat in silence for a moment.
"If I had asked you to marry me, years ago, would you have said yes?" asked Remus, his amber eyes boring into her green ones.
She tilted her head, considering the question. What would she have said? She'd never even given it any thought. Back when she thought Sirius a traitor and imprisoned for life, would she have married Remus?
"I might have, Remus," answered Emmeline, standing from the couch and patting his shoulder. "I might have."
Emmeline peeled off her clothes and crawled into bed, tired, confused, and aching all over. What she wouldn't give for a massage. It was late, well past midnight, and she felt her eyes falling shut as she drifted off to sleep.