I have no excuses, I am terrible at writing regularly nowadays
…
Makoto stared around his room in confusion, three years his mother said he had been in a coma, three years lying in this bed, three years unconscious. Had he imagined everything with Haruka? It had all felt so real but the subconscious was a powerful thing, had he really created an entire world and accidentally fallen in love with a figment of his imagination? Was his imagination really that incredible?
And in the three years he'd been there he'd never thought to ask where he was, what was the name of the town. In his mind it had been quaint, a small seaside town, but they were a dime a dozen in Japan. He was sure that he'd been to one on his last holiday before the accident.
He groaned and rubbed his eyes, if it had been just a dream why couldn't he shake it?
"Hi Makoto." The voice made him jumps, glancing to where the sound bad come from.
"Hello?" Makoto frowned at the tall stranger in his doorway.
"I'm glad to see you awake, finally." He smiled, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.
Makoto starred the stranger down, he supposed they were the same age so he must have been someone he knew before who'd never given up hope. But three years was a long time and they had certainly changed what had once been a childhood friend. He looked at his eyes, soft teal with laughter lines and it all clicked into place with a gasp.
"Sousuke?" He gasped.
"Don't tell me you'd forgotten me." He teased with a relieved sigh.
"Of course not." He grinned, opening his arms before changing his mind. It had been three years, even if Makoto still felt the same for Sousuke the sentiment might not be returned.
"Come here you idiot." Sousuke said, smiling ruefully at his shy friend.
He quickly closed the gap between them, tightly holding the other boy as if he couldn't quite believe he was really there, really awake. After he'd watched the accident, after he'd held his friends unconscious body he'd been sure he'd never see Makoto again, and if he did it wouldn't be the Makoto he remembered.
"It's good to have you back." Sousuke whispered, laughing as he saw the glint of tears in Makoto's eyes.
"Thanks for not giving up on me." He bit his lip, rubbing his eye.
"Sousuke, I didn't expect to see you." Makoto's mum smiled as she walked back in the room, arms full with sweets and treats she shouldn't have in hospital.
"You called me." He frowned, taking the canned drink that wasn't even intended for him.
"To let you know he'd woken up, not so you'd rush over from school." She lightly scolded, Makoto noticing for the first time Sousuke was in his school uniform.
A uniform from a school Makoto had never attended, a school he was probably due to attend, nervously hide behind Sousuke on their first day but he hadn't. Sousuke had carried out that milestone alone, all his classmates lives had carried on while he lay still in bed.
"Fine, you can stay. Just try not to overwhelm him." Makoto's mum said, pressing a kiss to her sons head.
"If you think I'm bad wait until the twins get here." Sousuke teased. Makoto's heart clenched at the idea of his younger siblings, barely school age when he'd last seen them, how they must have grown.
"Makoto." A familiar voice called from the door, his father clutching his chest breathlessly from where he'd clearly ran to get here.
"Dad?" He whispered back croakily.
In all the time Makoto had been alive he'd never seen his father cry, not when his own Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, not when they'd attended his funeral, not even when the twins had been born. But now he saw tears of relief stream down his father's usually composed features.
"You gave us quite a scare boy." He joked, lightening the situation to draw focus away from his tears.
"Sorry." He mumbled sheepishly. He'd never really been reckless but that morning with Sousuke he had been and while he had paid the price for it so had all the people he'd almost left behind.
"You always did have a flair for dramatics." He teased.
"No I didn't." Makoto shouted out.
"Yes you did dear." His mother nodded sympathetically. "Remember when the twins were born and you felt bad that we had so many children to look after you asked to move in with Sousuke."
"I was only 7!" He defended himself.
"You asked my Dad for a job in his shop." Sousuke helpfully reminded him.
"I was going to send money back home, I was trying to be helpful." He pouted.
"You lasted one day because you kept giving food away to customers who looked kind." Sousuke rolled his eyes.
"That sounds like my little baby." His mother smiled proudly.
Makoto groaned as the three of them continued to tease him, falling back into the old routine as if nothing had changed, as if he'd never been gone.
But the whole time he couldn't shake the feeling that he hadn't just been lying in his bed, that everything in his mind was real and Haruka was out there somewhere, waiting for him.
…
Makoto sat on his bed, staring at his packed bag. He was just waiting on Sousuke to get him so he could finally leave the sterile room. He knew his mother's feeble excuse was because she was planning a surprise for him when he got home, so that put poor Sousuke on duty, and he was already late.
Although he'd only been awake for a few days it felt like a lifetime since he'd been with Haruka, if he even was to begin with. Had it all really been a dream? A wonderful dream but make believe all the same. He knew he needed to forget it but he couldn't shake the feeling there was more to it than just a simple illusion.
"You ready to go?" Sousuke asked, bursting into the room. He was over half an hour late and slightly out of breath, if Makoto was right he'd been running around the hospital, completely lost for all that time.
"Yeah." He nodded, making no attempts to move.
Sousuke rolled his eyes and sat down beside him, even if it had been three years since they'd last really been together he could still read his best friend.
"Can I tell you something?" Makoto finally asked after a minute of silence.
"Sure."
"While I was unconscious I dreamt, least I think it was a dream, I dreamt I was somewhere else." He said.
"As a different person?" He asked.
"No I was still me, the accident had still happened as well. I was sort of in limbo, not really there in a sense. I was an angel and I was trying to earn my wings, I'd been assigned to a human to help. It all sounds a little silly now I say it out loud." He laughed, felling embarrassed.
"It sounds like a rom com if you ask me." Sousuke teased.
"The guy I was with… I loved him. And a strange, stupid part of me still does. How is that possible?" He groaned.
"I suppose it makes sense. You create the perfect guy in your head so you're bound to fall for him a little bit." He shrugged.
"But that's just the thing he wasn't the perfect guy. He was brooding and sullen and stubborn. In any other world I wouldn't have bothered with him, but in that world it just made sense." He sighed.
"I see." Sousuke said, a little at a loss for words.
"And I know it was a dream but when we were together it didn't feel like it, when he touched me I felt so real." He said with a ghost of a smile playing at his lips.
"Jesus, please don't tell me while I was sitting by your bedside like a devoted wife you were having a wet dream." He joked.
"Sousuke." He whined. "I'm being serious."
"So am I! Thank god you didn't pop a boner." He laughed at the blushing boy.
"I hate you sometimes." He rolled his eyes.
"Sorry, I'm sorry." He said, sobering up quickly. "These dreams, you said you were somewhere else. Do you know where?"
"No, it's like that part has been erased from my mind. There were other people too but they're all nameless." He groaned.
"And the guy you were with?" He asked.
"Haru." He whispered, even if he forgot everything else he never wanted to forget that name.
"Doesn't ring any bells." Sousuke shrugged.
"I know." Makoto sighed. "I know I made it all up, it was just a dream but it just… What if it was real?"
"How can it be?" He asked softly.
Makoto laughed at himself, of course it wasn't real. Sousuke was right, how could it possibly be? He was a fool to think otherwise.
"Forget I said anything." He brushed it off.
"Look, maybe in time you will remember more. Names, places and such." He suggested. "But until then you just have to wait, Haru isn't exactly a lot to go on."
"I suppose not." He agreed with a smile.
…
"I guess nobody is in." Makoto commented as he walked into his house. It was very obvious to him that his family were hidden away but he at least wanted to play along with their charade.
"Yes. It would seem so." Sousuke said woodenly, still terrible at keeping secrets.
Makoto was about to tease his friend when his words got caught in his throat, it was strange how little had changed in the years and yet seem completely different. After living in Haruka's home he never thought he'd see this place again.
The smell of washing that always seemed to linger, the dent in the kitchen door where Ren had run into with force during a game of chase, the marking on the skirting board where he and Sousuke had decided to carve their initials, the steps they'd subsequently sat on during their time out.
"You alright?" Sousuke asked, taking in his friends glazed over eyes.
"Yeah." He nodded. "It's just been a while."
He heard twitching on the other side of the living room door and suddenly it was thrown open, the twins running through where they had obviously grown bored of waiting for Makoto.
"Surprise!" They shouted, throwing themselves into Makoto's awaiting arms.
He couldn't get over how much they had grown in his absence, how many firsts had he missed? Brotherly wisdom he could have shared. He shook his head and tightened their hug, there was no point in dwelling on what he couldn't change. If this whole experience taught him anything it as to enjoy what you have because you could never be sure when it would be gone.
"Everybody is here!" Ran shouted.
"They all wanted to see you as soon as you came out of hospital." Ren agreed.
"Well, let's not keep them waiting." Makoto smiled, walking into the living room with a twin on each arm.
"Surprise!" The cry was called again, but by a much larger number.
Makoto glanced around the room with a smile, family, neighbours, old school friends. All here to see him again, to celebrate that he was safe and well.
"Wow." He smiled sheepishly. "Thank you all for coming."
He barely had time to breath before the crowd descended on him, all squeezing, hugging, poking, desperate to get a touch. To share the joy that he was there, to show him even after three years he was still very much loved.
It was a little hectic and overwhelming, but for the first time since he woke up Makoto felt truly at home.
…
Something felt different when Haruka woke up that morning, the pain that he'd felt before had gone. He still missed Makoto terribly, he still wished he could see his face one more time but he felt content. As if the part of him that had been torn away when Makoto left was healed again.
It was as if Makoto was still alive, near but still too far. He knew it was a foolish notion, he was alone forever.
And yet, a small part of him had hope, that by some twist of fate Makoto was living, gone as his angel but having the life he deserved none the less. It seemed unfair if only Haruka got to continue his life, happy with the memories of what have been but with a future to look forward to.
Even though they were no longer together, even though he was alone again he felt hope. Hope that whatever had brought them together before would bring them together again. But most of all he hoped, wherever Makoto was, he was happy.
…
Serious question time, finish here or do a flash forward a few years?