Hiding in Plain Sight Ch. 10
Disclaimer: I only wish I owned them. Everything recognizable in this story belongs to Kripke and the CW. Making no money here either folks.
Once again, I have no medical knowledge so please forgive any errors.
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Previously: Dean's face immediately paled upon hearing the doctor's words and he felt his legs go weak. He fell back into the chair behind him and placed his head in his hands as Alan instructed Kris to have them get an O.R. room ready stat. He could only sit by helplessly as he watched two orderlies race in and release the brakes from Sammy's hospital bed and start maneuvering it from the room.
Alan started becoming nervous an hour into the surgery when his patient started showing signs of distress once again. Sam's blood pressure was fluctuating quite a bit and they were having trouble keeping it regulated as he worked diligently to removed the inflamed and infected tissue from Sam's stomach wall. He was just about to check the intestinal tract for more signs of infected tissue when Sam's blood pressure bottomed out and his young patient coded on the table. "Damn it Sam, not now." He cursed as he instructed the nurse beside him to start CPR wondering if things could get any worse.
Janice, I need you to administer five milligrams of Norepinehphrine IV stat. We've got to get his blood pressure up now." Alan gasped as he feverishly worked to finish what he was doing. He knew they chanced Sam coding in the operating room before they started, but without the surgery, Sam would have definitely died making it a lose, lose situation. He watched as Janice administered the drug IV push and then glanced at the heart monitor to see that Sam was now in ventricular fibrillation.
"Shit, this cannot be happening" Alan cursed loudly as he looked over to see Kris pushing the portable defibrillator towards him. He quickly flipped the switch on the machine and set it before taking the paddles that Kris was handing over. He waited for her to place the gel on them and then rubbed them together. Quickly placing the paddles on Sam's chest, he hollered for everyone to stand clear before delivering an electrical charge to Sam's heart.
"No change Dr. Scott." Kris informed Alan as she reset the machine to deliver another electrical jolt. She watched as Alan placed the paddles once again on Sam's bare chest to deliver another electrical shock to the young patient's heart, each one in the operating room holding their breath that it would work.
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As Sam lay in a state of blissful numbness, he suddenly found himself standing alone in the middle of a field wondering how he had gotten there. The last thing he remembered was talking to Dean in the hospital and feeling an intense burning pain in his stomach. Placing his palms on his stomach, he glanced down to find himself standing barefoot and dressed all in white and totally pain free. "What the hell?" he thought as he struggled to figure out what was happening to him.
"Definitely not hell baby." Sam heard and looked up to see the smiling face of his mom looking at him with arms outstretched inviting him in.
"Mom?" Sam whispered as he threw himself into his mother's arms and felt them encircle him in a protective embrace. "I don't understand. What's happening to me?"
"You're basically in a state of Limbo right now son. You're at that point where you have to decide whether you are going to live or die. Sammy, it's not your time son, you need to go back, you need to fight to live. Dean needs you by his side sweetheart. You boys have so much more to do yet." Mary informed her youngest as she palmed the nape of Sam's neck and rubbed it comfortingly with her thumb.
"I don't know if I can mom. I'm so tired, tired of the all the pain and wondering if the fight is even worth it." Sam said as he lay his head on his mother's shoulder taking comfort in being able to talk to the her.
"I know you're hurting baby, but I promise, the hurt will end. You and Dean will eventually be released from the burden of hunting. Trust in yourself and your brother. I know things have been bad between the two of you, but your brother loves you baby, always has always will."
"M'sorry mom, it's all my fault. The demon was after me. If I had never been born, you would still be alive. Dean and dad would have had a better life." Sam sobbed blaming himself for everything.
"Don't say that Sammy, nothing is you're fault." Mary stated as a silent tear rolled down her face at her baby boy's heart wrenching words. "You need to understand that our lives would have been incomplete without you. There would have always been something missing if you weren't with us."
"But at least you would still be alive and Dean would have had a happy childhood instead of being burdened with raising me. I cost him his childhood mom." Sam stated tearfully as he raised his head to look into his mother's eyes. "You should all hate me for destroying our family, our lives."
"Sammy, we could never hate you and if being alive meant not having you, then I wouldn't want to live son. I lived a whole lifetime of happiness in those short six months that I had with you. And as for Dean and your dad being happy, who knows what fate would have had in store for them. Dean was always meant to be a protector. Without you, he couldn't have fulfilled his destiny in life. And don't you ever let me hear those words coming from your precious mouth again, you did NOT destroy our lives baby. Do you understand me?"
"But mom…"
"No buts about it Sam. I'm sorry sweetheart but my time with you is almost up. You need to go back. Your big brother needs you. And please, never forget I love you baby." Mary informed her youngest with one last hug before fading from view.
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After having got a few hours of sleep, Bobby returned to the hospital carrying a couple of cups of hot, black coffee and two burgers loaded with onions. He was determined to make sure that Dean took the time to eat knowing he would need his strength to get through the coming days. Sammy was going to need his help getting through the recuperating process and Dean couldn't do it if he starved himself to death.
Stepping off the elevator, he walked down to Sammy's room and nodded at the nurse sitting behind the desk as he passed by. Pushing open the door, his heart dropped immediately at seeing the empty bed where Sam should have been lying. He was about to leave the room to find out what the hell had happened when he heard a small sob coming from the darkened corner in the far end of the room.
"Dean?" Bobby whispered as he placed the food on the small portable table and walked over to where the sound had come from. He quickly knelt down beside the anguished man and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.
"Sammy's back in surgery." Dean said in answer to Bobby's unspoken question. "Alan said they couldn't afford to wait any longer after Sammy's temperature spiked earlier. He was still so weak Bobby. What if Sammy ….?" Dean trailed off not wanting to voice his thoughts. If he said the words then it would make it more real and he just couldn't deal with that right now.
Bobby wished he could promise Dean that Sammy wouldn't die, that he would survive the surgery, but he knew how bad things were and that it could go either way. Talking a calm breath he said, "Dean, you have to have faith that your brother can survive this, that he'll fight it with everything he has and come back to you. The bond you two share is strong and it will give Sammy the strength he needs to fight this."
"I'm trying Bobby, but it's just been one setback after another. How much more can Sammy take before he starts giving up. I can't lose him Bobby. I need to make things up to him. I need to let him know how sorry I am for ignoring him and treating him like he didn't matter, like he was a piece of dirt to be stepped on."
"And you'll get that chance Dean, I can feel it in my heart. Sammy wouldn't leave you now, no so soon after losing your dad." Bobby said and then grimaced thinking he should have just kept his mouth shut.
Dean gave Bobby a pained look after hearing his words and then lowered his head not wanting the hunter to see him breaking down even more. His world was crumbling around him and he felt like he was about to lose his sanity.
"I'm sorry Ace, I didn't mean to hurt you by bringing that up." Bobby stated as he pulled Dean to him and rested Dean's head on his shoulder. 'I'm here for you boy, just let it all out." Bobby sat quietly beside the young hunter and rubbed his back as Dean finally allowed himself to break down and cry in earnest. As he comforted Dean, Bobby allowed the tears to trail silently down his own cheeks for the suffering they were all going through right now.
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Alan held his breath as he watched Sam's heart monitor which was now showing palpitations or an irregular heart beat instead of ventricular fibrillation. "Come on kid, you can do it." Alan encouraged as he put his stethoscope to his ears and listened to Sam's heart and lung sounds. He relaxed a moment later as Sam's heartbeat fell into a normal sinus rhythm. "Okay people, lets finish up here." he called out as he began to put in the sutures making sure they were tight and neat to leave a minimal amount of scarring. Once he had finished, he closed his eyes and silently said a prayer of thanks for helping him to save Sam's life.
Standing aside, he watched as Sam was wheeled out of the operating room knowing he was on his way down to recovery where he would spend the next few hours being closely monitored. He knew Ali was working the evening shift once again and that Sam would be in very good hands. Ali had a way of making her patients feel special and she treated them as if they were family. Removing his scrubs and sterile gloves, he quickly washed up so he could go give Sam's family the news that he had survived surgery.
Striding down the hall and into Sam's room where he knew Dean would be waiting, Alan's heart nearly broke at the sight before him. He couldn't imagine what Dean must have gone through waiting to see if his brother had survived or not. It actually pained him to see the shattered look on Dean's face as the tears trailed down his face. Knowing that he had the news that would make things better, at least for now, Alan cleared his throat and walked further into the room.
Quickly pushing himself away from Bobby and wiping his red rimmed and puffy eyes, Dean asked, "Is Sammy….Did he…?"
"You're brother is alive Dean and in the recovery room right now. We came close to losing him a time or two, but that brother of yours is one hell of a fighter. He'll be in recovery for the next few hours where we can monitor him closely and then we'll bring him back here. Why don't you go get yourself something to eat while you're waiting. I'll have somebody come to the cafeteria if you're not back by the time we're ready to move Sam." Alan stated with a smile.
"Sorry doc, but I'm not leaving this room until I see Sammy with my own eyes." Dean replied as he rubbed his hands through his hair as he pulled up a chair for the wait. He was exhausted physically and emotionally.
"Don't worry doc, I'll make sure he eats." Bobby stated when he saw Alan getting ready to argue with Dean. He knew Dean well enough to know he meant what he said about not leaving.
"See if you can get him to lay down and get some rest also. It'll be quite a few hours before Sam is moved."
"Will do and doc, thanks for everything." Bobby stated as he reached out to shake the man's hand ready to assume the duty of watching over John's boys until they could do it themselves again.
TBC