I do not own Naruto anime, manga, games or other materials. This is a fan fiction
Inari proved to be a real training junkie, he could do jutsu no normal genin could even dream about. If someone asked his, he simply said he had a good teacher. When Inari was returning from the local soup kitchen he was not volunteering at he heard 2 drunks say that Tazuna was busy and her brat was working at a homeless shelter. That his mother would be all alone, and she has a really hot body, why didn't they both go and have a little fun, maybe give the brat a little brother or sister.
Inari ran on the roof tops of the buildings towards his home, he told his mother to hide upstairs and not to make a sound. He transformed into his sexy jutsu form, and with wearing what his mother usually wore. He then made 2 shadow clones and told them to boil some water and hide. When the two drunks finally made it to Tazuna's home they kicked the door open.
"Man, you were not kidding this is one hot bitch, come here you fucking bitch, it's time you served your real purpose in life." Inari told them to come and get her, if hey could get their pecker working. The other drunk yelled at her calling her a bitch and both ran towards the transformed Inari and as soon as the they got their peckers out, the two clones jumped on the stove, took the pot of boiling water and threw in onto the two drunks. I guess he did not know that the pot had a lot of Clorox in it, because the drunks screamed bloody murder.
Inari just kicked them out, and told them to not come and try that again, because if they did, they should know how the treatment people trying to rape her would be. Tsunami walked down the stairs to see what all that commotion was from. He saw the transformed Inari, "Inari, how many times I told you, my breasts aren't that big. You still need a lot of work on these transformations." He changed back and apologized to his mother. He shadow clone that Naruto left behind and had changed into a little mouse was laughing as he dispelled and Naruto got the memory of what he saw.
Naruto had just finish stripping Gato down to his underwear and tied him to the cross with the barbed wire. Gato was screaming bloody hell the entire time he was being tied to it.
One of the thugs finally said, "Hey, Kumo carrying this cross is going to be a pain. How are we supposed to get this fatso to the town square." No problem 10 shadow clones took the cross to the town square rather easily. Zabuza was even laughing as Gato tried to bed for his life as the cross was being carried to the town square.
Using a jutsu from his teacher, the big head jutsu. He called for all business owners and victims of Gato to come for the special show at the town square. Some of the women were actually happy to see the bastard the way he was, the local priest asked if that was necessary. He gave a whole speech on how to error was human, to forgive divine. Naruto put a stop to that and told him God will take care of him, when he got to him.
"Now I think this is a nice way to punish this particular bastard, don't you think so Tazuna?" Tazuna simply yelled his approval since his son in law suffered the same fate. The town clearly liked Inari's father more than even Inari knew. Naruto did the right hand signs and with a fireball jutsu he lit the cross, the thing must have been soaked in kerosene. The fire spread rather quickly and in a matter of an hour the charred remains of Gato were left on a pile of charcoal and burnt barbed wire. "Well that was disappointing, I expected him to cry, scream or at least yell that his successor would get revenge for what they were doing. But nothing, he said nothing." Naruto corrected the thug, Gato was too busy screaming about his pain to say anything else.
The training was done, and Sasuke and Sakura managed to get to the top of the trees they were using to train. Too bad that they did not even manage to use that training since Naruto and Zabuza managed to do the entire mission alone. Kakashi was not complaining, he managed to finish his book and read a few more times during the last 2 weeks.
Naruto, Zabuza, Haku holding her rabbit, Mr. Ears was his name. Sakura bugging her to be able to hold it, Sasuke looking rather pissed. Kakashi thinking what book he would read next. He had an entire collection to pick from. For some reason Jiraiya gave him a discount card. When asked he simply said it was a gift for his number 1 fan.
"So Tazuna what are we calling this bridge?" The former thugs were now his new permanent construction crew. "I know what to call this thing. The Great Naruto Bridge. The guy who taught us how sweet life can be if you work hard enough." Inari threw him a scroll and Naruto caught it. He opened it. It said that he was going to ask his mother if he could attend the Konoha ninja academy, and then when he became a jounin he would open a new ninja village right in his home town, he even picked out a name. The village hidden in the waves.
Naruto could not help but to laugh as he finished reading it for the third time. "What so funny?" He gave the scroll to Zabuza who also began to laugh, "Well looks like you really made an impression on the kid. Who knows maybe you have a knack at this teaching thing after all."
Naruto looked at him and told him their was no way he was going to end up teaching at the Academy. Just imagining 20 Sakura's in a single classroom was enough to send shivers down his back. "Why 20, at most I think she can have 5." Haku told Naruto. "Sakura is power hungry, I wouldn't be surprised if he tried sleeping with the sons of every noble clan in Konoha."
Zabuza then asked about the noble clans, and Naruto being the nice guy that he was, gave him the clear, painful and most importantly colorful description of the noble clans. Haku would was wishing he had skipped some of the details. The way that the Uchiha and Hyuuga married members of their own family was disturbing to Haku. Zabuza simply said it was more than likely to preserve the purity of their bloodline traits. Insuring that the next generation could use their bloodline traits sooner and easier.
Haku just called it plain incest, and told her father that she did not need to hear any more theories about the benefits of marrying within the family. Naruto simply told her that it was more than likely he was never going to have any kids. So it really did not matter to him either way. Haku asked why he would not have any kids? "The village hates me to the point that they regularly try to beat my skull in, do you think someone in that place will love me enough, to go through the pain and trouble that is to have a child? I would sooner see Kakashi admit that he is gay and in love with Guy."
Kakashi hearing that he looked at him with a glare, "And since I am not gay and I hate the green jumpsuit wearing pain in the neck, I guess no kids for the Uzumaki Clan then." Naruto told him that was what he meant all along. "Of course it would do our little team wonders, if you stopped reading these damn smutty books." Naruto took the book from his hand and ran away.
"Don't take my precious from me.. Give me back my precious.." Kakashi ran after Naruto, repeating that one word for a few good quarter of a mile. "Precious, must get my precious." This made the rest of the group laugh, it was clear to Zabuza they did the entire skit to lighten the mood.
When they reached the gates of konoha, they welcomed Sasuke, Kakashi, Sakura, the two guests, and last but not least, told Naruto it was disappointing that he did not die on his mission. Haku heard that and threw an few ice senbon at the guards. The guards dodge them, barely and asked what he deal was. "This guy saved my father and me, you keep your insults about Naruto in your head while I am near or so help me. I will have you two in an ice coffin and send you down the nearest river." The icy glare from Haku showed them that she was not kidding around.
Kakashi and the team went to the Hokage and they guided Zabuza and his daughter to meet with the man. Zabuza was ready to run and told Naruto if he was betrayed by the Hokage, that he would be welcome to come with them. Naruto thanked the masked man for his consideration of him, but he did not need to worry, Hiruzen Sarutobi would not betray them. It simply was not who the man was.
"So Tazuna lied about the real danger you would face, and thanks to Zabuza and Haku you managed to capture and publicly execute the criminal Gato, his thugs are now working as construction workers for Tazuna, and the bridge is now complete and ready for business, is there any else." Kakashi told him that Tazuna promised to speak with the Daimyo of wave and a possible trade alliance was in their near future, and that he promised Zabuza and Haku a place in their ninja ranks.
"I have no problem with that, Zabuza can join as a jounin, and Haku due to her skills and honorable defense of Naruto by the gate I think she is ready to be a Chuunin." Haku was about to ask how he knew about that, Naruto just whispered 2 words in her ear, crystal ball. Haku turned around and told him if he was going to whisper into her ear, next time she told him to ask her out on a date. Giving him a kiss on the cheek while he was stunned by what she just told him.
"Now if you will excuse me, old man. I got to go, I got an appointment I simply can't miss." Haku did not like the sound of that, could he be dating someone else? she thought as she followed him. She was really surprised to see him go towards a really shabby looking building at what seemed to be a rather poor side of the village. She read the sign next to the door. "The Hiruzen Sarutobi Orphanage." She began to wonder why Naruto was going back to this place, since she remember the abuse he suffered at an orphanage.
As she entered the cafeteria of the orphanage he saw what looked like a puppet show stand. A Naruto hand puppet appeared. "Back by popular demand, it's the pinky and brain puppet show." All the kids began to cheer looking rather happy. A puppet that looked like Sasuke and Sakura appeared to be walking in the village. "What shall we do today, brain?" Sasuke pulled a nice looking charm. "Oh,shiny can I have that one brain." Sasuke smacked Sakura on the head.
"No you idiot, this thing is my latest master plan, If I manage to get all the ninja to put these charms on their headbands, when they do I will use my chakra and take control of their minds, with an army of ninja under my control, I will dispose the old man, and I shall make Konoha my base to begin my conquest of the world." Sasuke puppet began laughing like a manic.
"But is so shiny..." Sakura puppet grabs it and not being able to hold something so delicate breaks it. "No, that was my only prototype. A year of planning and research gone." The Sasuke puppet was crying his heart out. "So what shall we do tonight, brain?" Sasuke finished drying his tears, "What we do every night pinky, sort our receipts and separate them the once we can use to lower our taxes.." The Curtain came down, the Naruto puppet appeared. "What did we learn from this show boys and girls?" One girl said that no matter how shiny something was it could still be dangerous. A boy said that they should keep their receipts in order for a whole year. Lastly a little girl said never take something that a stranger tells you at face value. The Naruto puppet congratulated them for being so smart and he too disappeared. The children were really happy that they had seen the puppet show.
"So this is the appointment he could not be late for. Teaching children to be careful and letting them have a bit of fun... if I knew that I had a chance with this guy, I really would put an effort into making him mine, this was the sweetest thing I have seen anyone do for other ever. Can't wait to tell Mr. Ears all about it."
Naruto left and the head of the orphanage did not even bother thanking him for the kind gesture. She did not bother opening the front door or setting the puppet show stand, why would sh bother being grateful to the brat she hated so much.
Naruto had promised them if they behaved for an entire year, he would do a puppet show for them. When Haku told him about the puppet show, he was more surprised that he knew about chakra strings and how to use them to control such small puppets. "The control that Uzumaki has is simply something amazing. To control 2 puppets, while being small at the same time and make them sound like 2 separate people that is by no means a small feat."
"He taught them to be careful of gifts by strangers, and to be careful not to be deceived by appearances. You know Haku, it's pretty sad that he will never have kids, from what you told me he would have made a great dad." Haku told him that if she wasn't concern for their safety, she would really try and get the red head to fall in love with her, but she knew better. The village hated him, and they were new on the village, they could not afford to make themselves hated for simply pursuing a romantic relationship with the village's most hated person.