A/N: Phew, finally got the chance to update. :3 Midterms are over, yay! I would've updated earlier, but I had to take my laptop someplace to get some malfunctioning software to work...they had to keep it for two days! TWO DAYS! D: I don't know about you, but I can't stand being apart from my precious laptop. XD

Alas, in the end, the software never worked, and I'm going to go demand my money back. :D

Er, I'm rambling again...I can't believe I'm already at chapter 10. O.O and over 1300 hits? That might not be a very big number to some, but it's huge to me. You people are awesome. 8D

Tanali: Oh! Thanks, for pointing that out. Mistake is fixed. :D

nohaydeque: It's funny you should say that, since there is a bit of humor coming up. :D Not so much this chapter, but the next, I think...hmm. Anyway, it's coming. As for changing the plot, I'm not completely sure yet...I know I do want to break away from it at least a little, or else writing would be extremely boring for me. I'll probably keep to the same general plot, but some things will change as a result of the main character being there. I'll try to keep it interesting, in any case.

Okay, chapter time! One more note, though-- there will be a second Brittany briefly referred to here; rest assured, I'm not suddenly talking in third person. XD I have a lot of friends named Brittany. Anyway, I don't think I made it too confusing. I would've changed the name, but then I'd just end up confusing myself...O.o I'll shut up now.

Disclaimer: Do not own.

----

So...tired...

I opened my eyes once more, trying my best not to yawn again. Why was I so tired? And why was I standing at a desk?

Mrs. Duggleby's voice rang through the classroom. Oh, she had gone off into another one of her lectures. I glanced at the clock; it was only 8:30. Class didn't end for almost another hour...

Brittany pushed a sheet of paper over to me, and she'd written a note betting on how long Duggleby would be talking this time. She usually talked too long to accomplish anything, other than boring us out of our minds. I wrote down my bet, grinning. At least I had friends in this class.

Wait...I wasn't a Sophomore anymore. I had graduated from high school months ago, hadn't I?

'...and the part that looks like rice pilaf is called the gastric caeca....' I quickly blocked out my teacher's words, realizing that we were doing the grasshopper dissection. Ugh, I knew I'd already done this, and had no desire to relive it...

That glow in her eyes looked familiar. She was almost as bad as Professor Sage. I frowned; why was I thinking about a video game character at a time like this? And I'd always called her Raine, hadn't I? That was weird...

As it was, we weren't about to progress any further with the stupid dissection. I didn't really want to focus on the pinned open grasshopper-on-steroids in front of me, so I looked at one of the handouts we'd been given. There was an open space on the bottom of the paper, and I noticed I'd started a picture already.

Ah, it was Kratos. I'd half drawn in his hair, and had begun a sad attempt at his clothes. Finally succeeding in ignoring the teacher, I continued drawing. I was able to fix every error I'd made on his outfit; for some odd reason, his image was ingrained in my memory. His belts were supposed to be slightly uneven, and the shoulder part of his cape tapered down past his elbows...

'Brittany.'

My eyes widened; huh? Had my drawing just spoken to me? I glanced at Brittany to see if she'd heard. She continued to stare disinterestedly at Mrs. Duggleby, absentmindedly cutting up a scrap of paper with the dissection scissors. Okay, so she hadn't heard anything. Obviously I was starting to doze off. I sat up straighter, looking at the grasshopper again. Ugh, dead insects smelled horrible.

'Now, I want you to move everything over and search for the nerve cord...it should be a small white line.' the teacher said, and Brittany and I boredly tried it. Naturally, the grasshopper's insides were so badly preserved that we couldn't make anything out aside from the mush. I made a face.

Someone shook my shoulder, and I looked over to find empty space. Weird....I turned my attention back to the insect.

'Get up.'

I frowned. What? Why did I keep hearing things?

"Get up." Kratos's voice rang in my ears, blocking out the voice of my teacher. I grimaced. Why were my eyes closed? I opened them, only to find the man I'd been drawing staring down at me. He looked rather irritated.

I blinked, disoriented. Then I realized that it'd only been a dream. That day in tenth grade had long since passed...I was in Sylvarant now, and I'd graduated from high school last June. But it had felt so real...I gave Kratos a blank stare, feeling numb and lost. "Um...what?" I said, managing to work my voice.

"It's time to train," he replied. When I didn't say anything back, he let out an exasperated sigh. "Simply because you were gone for a while is no excuse to shirk your duties. Kvar will kill you if you aren't properly prepared."

Kvar's name jolted me awake. That was right; I had to train or I'd lose to the Desians again. "Y...yeah." I began to stand up, when I was assaulted by a horrible smell. I wrinkled my nose. "Ugh, what smells like dead grasshopper?"

Lloyd laughed, walking up. "Oh, I dunno...maybe a dead grasshopper?" He gestured behind him, and there was indeed one of Sylvarant's car sized 'hoppers lying dead on the ground.

Ew. And I'd thought the ones I'd dissected were on steroids. Well, that explained my dream. Everyone else appeared to be up, and putting away their weapons. Wait, they had fought it and everything?

I opened my mouth, voicing my confusion. "How the hell did I sleep through this...?"

Lloyd shrugged. "I was about to ask you that. We were wondering if you were seriously unconscious. Kratos even hit you a few times!"

I turned to gape at the mercenary, suddenly feeling bruises where I was sure none had been before. He merely did one of his dissmissive grunts, turning his back to me.

"Are you coming?" his voice was cold.

"Yeah, yeah. Abusive jerk." I got up, following him and Lloyd to a clearing so we could train.

----

Somehow we were able to find a place that the grasshopper stink didn't reach, and I wondered how the others could stand waiting for us back there. The area we stopped in was a rather rocky part of the field, and I had to watch my feet so I wouldn't trip.

"Um, Kratos, this place is kind of....well, don't you think we should find someplace less rocky?" I asked him tentatively.

He looked over his shoulder at me. "Hmph. Tell me, do you think an enemy would comply with this request?"

I looked away, sighing. "No..."

"This is a good opportunity to work on your footing." he merely said, continuing to lead us deeper into rocky territory. The dejected expression on Lloyd's face told me that he hadn't expected this, either. I suspected we would both be doing a lot of tripping in the next few hours...and the ground didn't look very nice to fall on, either.

Finally we stopped walking, Kratos seeming satisfied with our surroundings. He turned to me; apparently I was the lucky first contestant. "Draw your blade."

I unsheathed Loki, its familiarity giving me confidence. This wasn't just some wooden sword Kratos forked over to me; this was my sword. It may have been a tool for killing, but it had also protected my life on numerous occasions.

Kratos inspected my stance, looking over the sword as well. "And why have you changed your fighting style? You may still be weilding only one sword, but now you are incapable of holding a shield."

"I stole this sword from a Desian at the ranch. It's the only weapon I have, so I figured I'd might as well get used to it...there was a swordsman in Luin who gave me some training before you guys came."

He nodded. "Very well. You wouldn't have survived the attack if you had merely been doing guesswork with the new blade. Show me what you have learned." Kratos drew his sword as well.

----

"...You've improved," the mercenary told me as he knocked me to the ground for the fourth time.

I struggled to my feet, panting. It sure didn't feel like it. Even as Lucian had trained me, I had felt myself slowly growing stronger. But with Kratos, it felt like my skills did me no good at all. I knew I was profusely different from the person I'd been back in Asgard, but it was difficult to believe that when Kratos could still easily beat me down like this. Stupid, four thousand year-old seraph...

Noting my crestfallen expression, Kratos raised an eyebrow. "Had you been hoping to defeat me after only a month?"

Embarrassed, I shook my head. "No, just...I don't know, it would've been nice to at least land one hit."

"Heh." The amused expression on his face was infuriating, and I saw Lloyd grow irritated as well. He hadn't been able to land a hit in spite of everything, either. Damn, how were we ever going to survive against Kratos at the Tower?

We continued as we usually did, Kratos alternating between Lloyd and I. Now that we were fighting with real swords, Kratos was even more frightening. Sure, the wooden ones bruised, but a real sword could do some serious damage...

When it was almost time for us to finish up, the mercenary pitted Lloyd and I against each other. This time, we were more evenly matched, but I still sensed that Lloyd was stronger. He'd better be-- after all, it was Lloyd who would have to singlehandedly take Kratos down in the future.

By the end of the training session, both Lloyd and I were covered in cuts and bruises. Kratos, being Kratos, refused to cast First Aid again. We spent the next few hours begging Raine for Apple Gels...and ended up with even more bruises as a result.

----

Later that day as we stopped for a break, Raine got my attention.

"Your ribs must pain you often, am I correct?" she said. The careful tone of her voice set me on alert, but I nodded.

"It usually causes me to collapse...at the most inconvenient times." I replied, thinking of how easily I could've died if they'd affected me before the battle in Luin ended.

She sighed. "I can heal them, but..."

"But what?" I asked, frowning. Suddenly it came to me-- oh, no. She couldn't possibly mean...but healing magic was supposed to...!

"They healed incorrectly, and we would need to rebreak them in order to fix the problem." Raine answered, confirming my fears.

I winced, remembering how painful the first break had been. "...that sucks."

"But if we don't...." she stared at me, her eyes pressuring. I knew what she was going to say; I would be a burden if I collapsed in the middle of battle, and I might end up getting myself or someone else killed. I could chicken out if I wanted, but that would be a really nasty thing to do when my friends needed me. Dammit.

I watched her uneasily. "I...I know. When should we do it, then? I'd rather...get it over with." Hopefully she could use First Aid or Nurse right away, and get rid of that horrible agony.

"We can do it right now, if you like." She said, standing up and lifting her staff. Lloyd and Colette were off in the distance, talking. Genis and Sheena were gathering wood to build a fire to cook with. They wouldn't have to see it happen.

"Y-yeah. Okay." I said, my voice growing shakier by the second.

"In that case, I can perform the breaking." Kratos spoke up now, walking over to us. Raine nodded to him.

I managed a weak chuckle. "So you're volunteering? Is this stemming from your abusive tendencies?"

"Hmph."

Raine stood beside me, her staff ready. "Very well, then. Kratos, get ready. I will tell you where to break."

Oh, God, I didn't want to do this. I could feel myself beginning to tremble, anxiety causing my heart to pound.

Kratos stepped closer to me, holding me with one arm. He placed his other hand in the exact same spot Kvar had placed his foot, several weeks ago. I shuddered.

Raine nodded, approving of where he'd placed his hand. She looked at me. "I'm going to perform a healing spell the second your bones are rebroken. There will be pain, but I will not allow it to linger."

I nodded weakly, barely comforted by this; the initial pain was what hurt the most.

Kratos gazed at me, his eyes surprisingly soft. "Take a deep breath." He said, his voice calm. "It will be over in a second."

I did as he said, and looked straight ahead.

"On a count of three." The professor said quietly. "Three..."

I took another deep breath, anticipation growing.

"Two..."

The pressure from Kratos's hand increased slightly as he readied himself.

"One."

Kratos pushed his arm forward with shocking force. I heard the snaps once again, followed by blinding pain.

I screamed, my knees giving out beneath me. Kratos caught me, holding me there, while Raine cast her spell. The pain was gone in an instant, but my body was still reacting. Trembling violently, all I could do was rest my head against Kratos's chest, gasping like a fish out of water. I clutched the place where my once-broken ribs had been, trying in vain to get ahold of myself.

I vaguely heard the sound of running feet, and concerned voices. Lloyd and Colette? Ah...Kratos and Raine were still calm. Was I really okay...? I felt my breathing slow, deepening. Kratos, who hadn't ever had a problem with beating the shit out of me, now held me gently. He set me on the ground, looking me in the eyes.

"She's in shock," I heard him say.

"Dammit, why the hell did you go and do that?!" Lloyd was pissed off, and taking his anger out on Kratos.

"Quiet, Lloyd." I whispered, "I'm okay. I think."

He looked down at me, worried. "Are you sure?"

I tried to nod, but couldn't; instead I settled for "Mhm."

Colette smiled, seemingly in awe. "She's really strong."

I managed to laugh. Colette was the one sacrificing her humanity to save the world, and she said I was strong? Maybe the definition of the word had changed since I last checked.

After I recovered from that state, the group trudged onward. At least now I knew I wouldn't be bothered by that anymore. But I didn't think I'd ever get used to pain, no matter how much of it I experienced.

----

Two more days passed. The Asgard ranch loomed in the distance; its very image gave me goosebumps. I couldn't believe I was actually going back there. Dammit, everyone owed me big time for this.

Our morning training that day was very brief. Thankfully, Kratos knew we wouldn't fight very well if we were already exhausted. I noticed that something was wrong with him; it was unlike him, but Kratos was very on edge today. Lloyd had noticed too, voicing his confusion to me. I pretended to be puzzled as well.

Seeing the auburn haired mercenary this tense only made me feel tense, too. I knew he was probably concerned mostly about Lloyd. After all, we were going to the stronghold of the man who had caused Anna's death...

I felt mildly annoyed. I was already apprehensive to begin with; I didn't need Kratos making it worse! He was supposed to be the tough guy of the group, who was always sure of everything. I needed him to be that guy, especially on a day like today.

All right, worrying and anxiousness weren't going to help me here. As we got closer and closer to the Desian ranch, I mulled over all the time I'd spent there. I felt fear at coming to this place, but with it came indignation. I tried to fuel that anger and hate into something I could use. I realized that while rage could cause a person to do reckless things, it could also be used as a tool. Extreme emotions summoned up adrenaline.

After much walking, we passed through the forest leading to Kvar's ranch. We stood within the trees, watching the ranch.

"Wow," Genis whispered. "The security is intense."

"Shall we follow through with our plan?" Raine asked, and everyone nodded. Sheena had obtained a Desian outfit a short while before I'd met her in Luin, for she had been planning on infiltrating the ranch. We allowed Raine to slip it on, disguising herself as a lance soldier. We were to pretend that we were her prisoners; it was practically the same strategy used in the game.

"Let's go, then." the Professor said, slipping the metal Desian helmet on. My stomach tied in a knot; I didn't like seeing her in that uniform one bit. We followed her out of the trees, approaching the main doors with a bit of uneasiness.

A Desian guard quickly called out to us. "Stop!"

Raine spoke up before he could get a chance to examine us too closely. "We've done it!"

"Done what?" The Desian asked, now looking puzzled.

"We've found the wanted criminals, Lloyd Irving and Brittany Furness!" Raine replied, her voice confident. I frowned; it was extremely strange to hear her say my full name. I really was in a video game....augh.

The guard looked shocked, and examined us further. He'd probably seen me around when I was imprisoned here, and he would have recognized Lloyd from those badly drawn wanted posters. "What?! Good work!" He said, "And you've even caught them alive!"

Raine nodded. "I want to turn them over to the Five Grand Cardinals immediately. Let me through." Wow, her act was so convincing...

He stepped aside, giving us a clear path to the door. "Understood. Go on in!"

We entered the doors, everyone else seeming visibly relieved that our plan had worked. I knew it wasn't over yet, though.

"Do you know the way to the control room?" Raine murmured to me, when there were no other Desians in sight.

I thought for a minute, then nodded a little. "I think I have an idea."

We continued onward, and I would indicate the path for Raine to take with a faint nod of the head. My hands were shaking; I could hear the screams again. I could remember being part of those screams. As we passed Desian guards, some recognized and smirked at me.

After what seemed like an eternity, we reached the control room.

"Here we are." I said. I'd never actually been in here, but I recognized it from the game. The structure of this room was almost exactly the same.

There was a window on the wall across from us, and everyone approached it curiously. I lagged behind, already knowing what was behind it: conveyor belts. That dreaded room...

"It looks like this is an Exsphere manufacturing plant," Raine remarked.

"That's right." I confirmed, my voice bitter.

Lloyd glanced back at me questioningly, having heard the off tone in my voice. When he saw that I wasn't going to say anything more, he turned back to the window. "These are all Exspheres? Incredible..."

My fists clenched. Lloyd...he wouldn't think that anymore in a few minutes. This place was anything but incredible.

Raine and Kratos turned away, examining the rest of the room. I did as well, unable to look through that window anymore. Lloyd, Colette, Genis and Sheena all peered through, still curious, when suddenly Colette stopped.

"...Shh. I hear voices coming from the next room."

"I don't hear anything." Genis frowned.

"Be careful anyway." Lloyd warned him, knowing of Colette's angel senses.

We all turned to the door Colette was looking at, and soon after, it opened. Botta and two Renegade soldiers ran through. Wow, Botta was quite an imposing man. It was unusual seeing him not chibi-fied. I wondered if he still had the English accent.

"Hmm?! You!" Yup, he did.

"Uh-oh, these are the Desians we ran into in the Triet Desert!" Lloyd exclaimed. I hid my frown; how could they not have realized by now that these soldiers weren't Desians? I'd never understood that. I mean, the Renegades always laughed at Lloyd when he called them Desians.

Proving my point, one of the soldiers smirked. "They still think we're Desians."

"Sir, this is the perfect chance!" The other soldier spoke up.

Kratos glared. "Are you looking for a fight?"

Botta looked at each of his soldiers, shaking his head. "Wait. Kratos is with them. We'll retreat for now." Heh, smart move. I'd want to run too if Kratos was glaring at me like that.

Lloyd looked at Kratos, confused. "...You know each other?"

"I suppose, if you mean the fact that we ran into them at Iselia and Triet." Kratos replied coolly. I refrained from rolling my eyes.

"I think it would be in both our interests for us not to fight here." Botta said, looking at Kratos.

"Do what you will," said the mercenary.

Botta merely nodded, and he and his soldiers fled through the door we came in. I vaguely wondered what they had been doing here in the first place. It was a hint at them being the Renegades, but other than that, what was the purpose of it...?

Another door opened near Colette, and I instantly grasped Loki's hilt. This was it. I got a glimpse of a Desian mage, right before he cast a fireball spell towards us. Colette was the closest target; Kratos rushed forth, defending her with Guardian. Everyone looked on, shocked.

"Colette! Kratos!" Lloyd cried.

Colette turned to him, perfectly fine. "I'm okay."

Kratos and I, however, had our attention elsewhere. There was a man we both loathed waiting beyond that door...

"No time for that, look behind you!" Kratos warned, his voice raising a notch.

"Huh?" Lloyd frowned.

The others turned and I drew my sword; Kratos already had his out. The mages waiting behind the door moved to the side, clearing the path for Kvar. My eyes narrowed, body tensing.

"Well, this is a surprise. When I heard we had some rats, I assumed it was the Renegade, Botta. But instead I find the wanted inferior beings...I must say I'm quite impressed you're still alive after that attack." His slitted eyes swept over us, his voice irritatingly nonchalant.

"Who are you?!" Lloyd demanded.

Kvar arched an eyebrow. "You barge into my ranch and then demand my name?"

I turned my head to Lloyd. "He's Kvar, one of the Five Grand Cardinals."

Kvar chuckled. "Ah. I see that some of you know me." His inhuman eyes focused on me for a moment, and he gave me a cruel smile. I could tell he remembered me, although he was too disdainful to say so now. He then returned his attention to Lloyd. "...It's just as Forcystus said. That Exsphere is without a doubt the product of my Angelus Project!"

We were suddenly surrounded by Desian soldiers. Colette acted fast, rushing forward and hurling a chakram at Kvar. When the Grand Cardinal jumped out of the way, we took the opportunity to run right past him and through the door.

"Good job, Colette!" Lloyd praised her, as Raine closed the metal door and activated its locking mechanism. We were now in the manufacturing plant sector of the ranch. I suppressed a shudder as we ran further in. I knew what was coming.

We cut down the Desian guards that spotted us, weaving past the conveyor belts while looking for a door out. Soon enough, we arrived at a dead end. This was the same place I'd stood with Pietro a few weeks ago; the place where Elena had died. I bowed my head, unable to bring myself to look at that final conveyor belt again. I was already haunted by its image in my nightmares. I didn't look, but there was nothing I could do to drown out the cries of the prisoners who were being slaughtered.

Everyone froze in shock, save for Kratos and I. We'd both seen it before. I wasn't sure, but I thought I saw him send an understanding look my way.

"Wh...what is this?!" Lloyd gasped, horrified. I sensed movement behind us, and turned around. Kvar had quickly caught up after the guards broke down the door.

"This is where the Exspheres are removed from the host bodies." He said, and I snarled once again at how he described the people being killed. Everyone else turned around as well.

Raine's eyes were wide. "Do you mean that Exspheres are made from...human bodies?"

"Not exactly." Kvar explained calmly, "Exspheres are dormant at first. They extract nourishment from humans to grow and awaken. Human ranches are Exsphere manufacturing plants. Why else would we spend our time raising and taking care of these inferior beings?"

"Care?!" I growled, furious. "You abuse us and treat us like dirt, only to send us off to the slaughterhouse in the end! You're terrible!"

Kvar smirked. "Terrible? Terrible is what you've done. Stealing and using Exspheres that we've invested so much time and care in creating. You deserve to be punished." He made a small gesture with his gloved hand, and Desian soldiers surrounded us. Lloyd swore.

"Brittany, the Exsphere being cultured on your body is valuable research material that Lord Yggdrasill himself requested. Give yourself up, and perhaps your friends won't be killed on the spot." Kvar said to me. Dammit, what was this about? This wasn't the way the conversation was supposed to go. I shouldn't have come here.

Despite my uncertainty, I felt frustration flare up once again. Kvar was still standing by his beliefs that I was really the subject he was looking for. Stupid idiot! "I've said this before, you pompous bastard: you have the wrong person." I said, speaking slowly as if he were going senile. Hmph, he probably was. "I've never even seen this Yggdrasill person, and I had never been to a ranch before I was taken here." It was difficult not to start swearing. My hands shook with anger and resentment.

Once again, that frightening cruel look showed itself on Kvar's face. "Wretched human. You are still deluding yourself? How pitiful."

My fists clenched. "You...!"

His smirk grew. "You believe I am mistaken? Very well, I'll prove you wrong." He pulled out a sheet of paper, and I felt a twinge of uneasiness. What was that? Kvar began to speak again, reading from the sheet.

"Name: Brittany A. Furness. Eighteen years of age." His eyes darted up to meet mine, then back down to the paper. My uneasiness grew, but I shook it off. Mere coincidence. Kvar continued to speak. "Height: Five feet, four inches. Hair color: brown. Eye color: brown." My body shook. No, still, he couldn't really prove... "Birth date: November 20th. Immediate family: mother, father, older sister, older brother. Shows a predilection for dark clothing." He looked up at me once again, and the callous amusement on his face was nearly unbearable. My blood ran cold. "Ah," He added, "and you bite your nails."

I gaped at him, utterly shocked. How...?! How could he know that about me? How could anyone here know such personal things about me? It was impossible!

"I see you believe me now. As you can see, I was given a full profile of you several months ago. Did you think I was merely doing guesswork?" Kvar sneered.

"..." I moved my lips, trying to make some sort of retort, but my voice completely failed me. He'd been right all along.

"Wh-what do you want with her?!" Lloyd finally broke in, his voice full of anger.

"Now, don't you think you should be more concerned about yourself?" Kvar turned to Lloyd now, switching targets for his verbal abuse. "Lloyd, your Exsphere is the result of years of time consuming research. It's time you gave it back." His slitted eyes narrowed. "I can finally reclaim what was stolen by that filthy female host body."

Lloyd blinked. "What are you talking about? The female host body?" Now his eyes widened in disbelief. "You're not talking about..."

Yes, Lloyd, he was....My hatred for Kvar grew as the Desian leader continued.

"...Hmm, you don't know anything, do you?" He said with disdain. "That Exsphere was cultured on host body A012, human name, Anna-- your mother. She took it and escaped from the facility. Of course, she paid for her crime with her life."

My friend's disbelief was replaced with shocked rage. "You killed my..."

Kvar smiled, his voice mocking. "Now, now, don't blame me. I'm not the one that killed Anna. Your father did."

"Liar!" Lloyd yelled, shaking.

"Please. When her Key Crest-less Exsphere was removed, Anna turned into a monster...and your father killed her. Pathetic, don't you think?"

I snarled. I'd heard these words spoken many times before, but now that he said them in person, in real life...it was appalling. How dare he?!

Kratos stepped forth, and I could sense the waves of hate emanating from him. He was shaking as well, but I was probably the only one who noticed-- he had his emotions carefully, but barely, contained. "Do not speak ill of the dead." The mercenary's voice was icy, the look on his face terrifying. If Kvar had any sense right now, he would run.

Apparently he did not. Instead, he laughed, causing Kratos's jaw to clench even tighter. "Who cares? They were both just a couple of filthy humans-- worthless maggots."

"Don't you ever talk about my parents like that!" Lloyd shouted, his tone threatening.

Kvar did another hand gesture, and the Desian soldiers started moving in on us. Dammit, I wanted to defeat that bastard right now!

Unfortunately, I could see that fleeing was our only option. I looked at Sheena; she already had one of her cards out.

"I'm gonna use the last one, Grandpa," I heard her mutter. She lifted the card up, summoning a Guardian. The Desians backed away, alert. The Guardian produced a large cloud of smoke. I felt a strange sensation, as if being lifted up...and when the smoke cleared, we were standing in the woods outside of the ranch.

"Thank you, Sheena!" Colette said, as the others looked relieved.

"Don't mention it," she said. "But what are you going to do now?"

"We should get a safe distance away from the ranch before making any plans." Raine said.

"I concur." Kratos agreed.

----

Everyone walked in relative silence, myself included. I was pondering my Exsphere with uncertainty. If it had the capability to give me strength, then it had probably been activated with someone else's life. I was just supposed to take that one step further, making it into a Cruxis Crystal. It was horrifying to think that I was using something created with the life of a human being-- someone just like me, a victim of Kvar and the Desians. In the game it had been obvious that keeping the Exspheres was necessary, but now...after I had seen it actually happening...I felt like a complete hypocrite.

Not only that, there was another serious issue that I was trying not to think about. I was unhappy enough with the situation. The way Kvar had looked at me...it had comforted me to think he was merely being a fool, but I couldn't pretend any longer.

My thoughts were interrupted when Kratos announced that we were far enough from the ranch, and we could set up camp. He still seemed rather troubled and irritated from what had happened; I didn't blame him. As Genis started a fire with one of his spells, we all got as comfortable as we could. Sheena took her Exsphere out of--well, wherever she kept it, I had read it was someplace over her heart--and rested it in the palm of her hand, gazing at it. I knew a familiar cutscene was about to start.

Sheena finally spoke, breaking our long silence. "...I can't believe Exspheres are made from human lives."

Genis took his Exsphere out as well. "This is Marble's life..."

Lloyd took out his Exsphere, looking as if he was about to throw it. "Arrgh! This...thing!"

"Lloyd, wait." Colette stopped him, stepping forth. "What will you accomplish by taking that off? It's not just an Exsphere, it's also your mother's life, remember?"

"But these things make a mockery of human life!" Lloyd protested. I had to agree.

"But we would have lost long ago had we not had them." Kratos said; he was right, too. Augh, I didn't know who to side with!

"Don't you think I know that?!"

"Do you really?" Kratos crossed his arms. "If you throw away that Exsphere now, do you think you can finish this journey?"

Lloyd gazed down at his Exsphere. "...Yeah. I know. Without these things, we're just a bunch of weak humans. We can fight because we have these. I know that. But Exspheres exist as a result of taking someone's life!"

"And? These people didn't become victims because they wanted to, but I doubt they would want to be thrown away after being turned into Exspheres."

I fingered my Exsphere uncomfortably. I knew I wouldn't want to be thrown away, had I turned into a Cruxis Crystal...I would've wanted to be used against the people who made me that way. But still...it felt so wrong.

"My opinion may not matter much because I don't use an Exsphere, but I believe the Desians will defeat us if we throw away the Exspheres now. And if that happens, more people will lose their lives to these stones. I don't want that to happen. I don't want this journey to be meaningless." Colette said, and Kratos nodded.

"Colette's right. We can throw away the Exspheres at any time. But right now, we must carry the weight of the hopes and dreams of those victims and fight for their sake, as well as ours. Didn't you say you weren't going to hesitate anymore?"

At this point, I wondered what Lloyd's response would be. I, personally, was still undecided, although I knew what the correct path was.

Lloyd shook his head. "I just can't! ...I know you're right, but...but right now...let me think by myself for a while, okay?"

"Lloyd..." Kratos frowned, and I decided to back him up. Lloyd would come around, but he'd ultimately have to do it on his own.

"I second that." I said, standing up. "I'm still really uncomfortable with this whole thing. After being imprisoned in the human ranch for so long...it's still hard for me to accept it. This Exsphere..." I rested a finger on mine, "it was made with the life of someone just like me. Only that someone wasn't so lucky..." I bowed my head. "I think I need some time to think, too."

The mercenary sighed, looking from me to Lloyd. "Fine."

Our group grew quiet once again, and I took the opportunity to slip off into the woods. Lloyd, I knew, would do the same later. He'd have a talk with Kratos, who would finally convince him to keep his Exsphere. I didn't have the same convenience.

After a few minutes of walking, I sat down on a rock in front of a small lake within the forest, setting Loki in its sheath beside me. I knew I had no choice but to keep my Exsphere; if I wanted to stay with this group, I had to be able to fight. I couldn't imagine being left behind again, the way I had been back when I first met them.

The stars were so nice tonight. They didn't feel cold and uninviting like that night in Asgard so long ago. Perhaps it meant I was getting used to Sylvarant, as frightening as that sounded.

I frowned as I realized I wasn't even looking at the real sky. It was just an illusion to block out what was really there-- Derris-Kharlan. I tried to envision the large purple planet directly overhead, and couldn't do it. Where in the sky was Welgaia? Was Yggdrasill up there right now?

Yggdrasill. My body tensed, and I beat down another panic attack. Despite what Kvar had said...I had to stay calm.

I shifted on the rock I was resting upon; I hadn't had a chance all day to think by myself. I didn't want to ponder this in front of the others, for fear that my emotions would show through.

Ever since the day I regained my memory, I'd told myself that Kvar was mistaken. I knew I couldn't possibly be the one he wanted; I wasn't even from Sylvarant! But then, at the ranch, he had pulled out an entire profile of me. I had been able to see that the sheet he held was typed on the front and back-- the things he'd read off of it were only the beginning. How much information did the Desians have on me, anyway? And how in the world did they get it? Knowing my name was one thing, but they knew I bit my nails?! That was borderline creepy. Kvar had gone into too many specifics, and it was obvious that the only person that report was referring to was me.

And he'd said that my Exsphere was research material that Yggdrasill himself had requested. And hadn't he also said that Yggdrasill reccomended me as a host body? What the hell was going on? I was suddenly even more terrified of going to the Tower of Salvation. How did Yggdrasill even know I existed?

I shook my head. It just wasn't possible. Maybe...somehow my driver's license had come through the dimensional gap as well? Or something...? That still made no sense. I really hated being confused like this.

My being here was a mistake in itself. I had been planning to remain anonymous, and finish the journey before trying to make it home. Once the worlds were safe, I could try getting help from Lloyd. I wanted to pretend that I still had amnesia for the duration of the journey, so no one would really know who I was. Kvar was going to be killed anyway, so his mistake wouldn't make a difference anymore.

But it wasn't a mistake. Somehow I was caught up in all this, and somehow Cruxis knew about me. Did Kratos know something...? It was impossible to tell. I couldn't just walk up and ask him, as much as I wanted to. My amnesia excuse, though, might not work anymore. I had pretty much revealed that I remembered something back at the ranch; my shocked expression had confirmed the information Kvar was reading out. Kvar being killed, although it would make me feel better, wouldn't change my wanted status.

I sighed, resisting the urge to hit my head against something. Okay, I had all the information, but no solution. I needed to do something about this!

Tomorrow...we'd probably set off for Hima. We needed to get the Desian Orb from Pietro so we could go through the secret entrance of the ranch. I knew, without a doubt, that I would be going again. I had to see this through...for everyone's sakes. I wanted to make sure they got out okay, and my knowledge of the ranch might help them.

Then what? I racked my brain for pieces of the plotline. We'd go...to the Tower of Mana. We'd release that seal and take Boltzman's book...then Lake Umacy, then the pact with Undine, Lake Umacy again, then we'd cure Pietro. It had been an irritating, tedious quest in the game, but when I thought about my friend, it seemed more than worth it.

Oh...and after Pietro was cured, it would be time to go to the Tower of Salvation. I really didn't want to think about that. Kratos betraying us, Colette losing her soul, seeing Yggdrasill for the first time? No, it didn't sound appealing at all. There was still the chance something could go wrong, and we'd all die.

Man, this sucked.

Running a hand through my short hair, I tried to come up with some answers. None came. Instead, I bent over from where I sat and grabbed a flat stone, hurling it horizontally towards the lake. It skipped once, then plopped into the water. I needed to work on my rock skipping skills. I began to reach for another rock, when I heard a rustling from the bushes behind me. Alert, I stood and swung around, beginning to unsheathe my sword.

"Relax, it's just me."

I frowned a little, stopping at Lloyd's voice. It was a little less cheerful than usual, but given the circumstances, I wasn't surprised. He stepped out of the shadows, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Lloyd?" I sheathed Loki again, lowering my guard a bit.

"Hey. Mind if I sit with you for a sec?"

"Um, not at all. Go ahead." I replied slowly, sitting back down. I really wasn't ready to see anyone right now, but it wasn't like I'd been getting anywhere with my thoughts anyway. Lloyd came over and sat next to me, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked out onto the lake.

I did the same, feeling mildly uncomfortable. It really had been a while since I'd been alone with any of them, hadn't it? Aside from Kratos, that is. I remembered the time before I'd overcome my amnesia; I had taken it upon myself then to speak to each member of the group on my own. It had been hard enough then to gather the courage, but now...I knew who they were. I really knew them. The guy sitting next to me was Lloyd Irving from Tales of Symphonia, only now he wasn't just some video game character, he was a real person. I felt self-conscious. I wasn't really a member of this group; I was just some wimpy girl from Earth, bound to this place by an unknown force. I couldn't remember what I had been doing the day I came here, but I did know what had been going on back home. My life consisted of management work with my sister at Dunkin' Donuts, a sort of decent apartment in Maine, and a used silver Chevy Cobalt. My biggest concerns back then had amounted to getting into a good college and having the money for it. Now I just wanted to stay alive long enough to get home. How could I ever compare to brave, goodhearted Lloyd? Not for the first time, I had a sudden distinct feeling that I didn't belong here.

I realized we had been silent for a while, and figured I should say something. "Did you ever figure out what to do about your Exsphere?"

He looked down at the stone embedded in his hand. "...I guess so. Kratos talked to me about it. I think...I'm going to keep it. Nothing will change if we don't do anything to stop Exspheres from being made. There will only be more victims." He turned to look at me. "You should keep yours, too, because you know what it's like to be used by the Desians. I bet whoever's life is in your Exsphere would've wanted you to stop them."

I nodded. "Yeah...I don't like it, but..." I reached a hand up to my Exsphere. "If I were an Exsphere, I wouldn't want to be thrown away or used by the Desians. I'll keep it, at least until this is all over."

We looked out onto the water again, and Lloyd picked up a rock, as I had done earlier. He threw it, and it skipped a total of seven times. I frowned a little and tried to copy him with my own rock. Mine didn't even skip once this time; it just plunked right into the water. Lloyd couldn't help but laugh.

"You suck."

I smiled, fake punching him on the arm. "Shut up, Lloyd."

He picked up another rock, checking it to see if it was flat enough. "Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Yeah?" I examined my abused nails, not bothering to humiliate myself by attempting to skip another rock.

"All that stuff Kvar said, back at the ranch..."

I froze internally, trying to remain calm on the outside. Crap, I hadn't even finished figuring this out myself!

"I got distracted when he changed the subject, but I remembered when I was thinking a little while ago." He threw the second rock, watching it hop across the water before sinking.

"And?" I was determined to stall. This was the last thing I wanted him to bring up.

"Was all of that true? I mean, sure, your appearance and name are obvious...but with the other stuff you looked really shocked. Did he make you remember something?"

I stared into my lap for a few seconds, unsure of how to deal with this. Should I just lie? I hadn't thought of a sufficient cover story, and if I whipped one up on the spot, it probably wouldn't hold for very long. And then there was the fact that I wasn't so good at lying to people I cared about.

Screw it. Lloyd would be hurt if I lied straight to his face, and I wouldn't feel too great about it either. I'd have to tell him the truth later on if I wanted him to help me get home.

Finally, I slowly shook my head. "He didn't make me remember anything. I...I recovered from my amnesia the first day I was imprisoned at the ranch. I've already regained all my memories." I felt scared; what if this was the wrong move? My story sounded weird enough to me, never mind someone else.

Lloyd looked at me, shocked. "You remember? Why didn't you say anything?"

I shrugged halfheartedly. "No one ever asked."

His eyes narrowed. "That's a dumb excuse and you know it."

I sighed, unsure of how to respond. I sensed Lloyd's frown; he seemed to realize something was wrong. His voice was considerably gentler when he spoke again.

"So...what, it happened all at once? Just like that?"

I nodded. "Yeah. One minute I couldn't remember anything, and suddenly I just knew. It was kind of startling."

"So how'd you end up in the woods where we first found you?"

"That's one thing I don't remember. That day is a complete blur."

Lloyd paused, considering this. "...Okay, where're you from?"

I looked away, shrugging again, almost squirming with uneasiness.

"Oh, c'mon, you said you remembered!" Lloyd turned, fully facing me, no longer distracted with rock skipping. Crap.

I couldn't meet his gaze. "Um, it's kind of far away."

"Yeah? Is it...Triet? Palmacosta? I would've recognized you if you were from Iselia."

I shook my head. "N-no, neither of those."

Lloyd stopped, and I could feel him staring at me. "...You can't even look at me. You've been acting really weird lately, you know? I don't know why your hometown is such an issue." He sounded puzzled. I couldn't blame him.

"I...um..." Damn, I really didn't know what to tell him.

"Just look at me, okay?"

I managed to, uncomfortably trying to maintain eye contact.

"Was it...was it destroyed by Desians, like Luin? Look, you can tell me." His voice was quiet, his eyes serious.

I shook my head. I wouldn't lie about something like that. "No, that's not it. It's just..." I measured his gaze as I spoke, and it looked like he wasn't leaving until he got an answer. I wasn't going to get anywhere stalling, was I? I forced myself to continue. I had to give him something. "...my story isn't exactly believeable."

"Huh? What do you mean? Are you from the moon or something?"

I had to suppress a giggle at the irony of this statement. "No, of course not. But still...I don't understand my situation much either. If I told you, you'd think I was crazy."

He blinked, and to my surprise, laughed. "You dork," he said, "I'd never think you were crazy. Even if you told me you were from the moon."

I raised an eyebrow. "You're just saying that."

"No, I'm not." He replied, more firmly this time. "I know you, Brittany. We've known each other for a couple months now, and I know you're perfectly sane."

"Then...you just wouldn't believe me." I said, sighing.

"Of course I would! I trust you. We're friends, aren't we?"

I stared at him, taking in the heartwarming smile on his face. He seriously trusted me that much? I was touched. I didn't know what I'd done to deserve such kindness from him.

"I...yeah. I mean, I trust you too, Lloyd. But..."

Lloyd waited, watching me quietly.

"...not now, okay? I need some time to think this through. But I'll tell you later on, after..." I thought for a minute. "After Colette regenerates the world."

He considered this for a moment. "...You promise?"

I nodded. "Yeah. If I don't tell you, I give you permission to pester me about it until I really do go insane."

"I'll hold you to that." He said, grinning.

"One thing, though...could you not tell the others?"

"Don't worry, I won't say anything."

I smiled, relieved. "Thanks."

I hadn't really told him yet, but at least he knew something was up. At least I wasn't lying to him.

"So..." His face grew solemn. "What's going on with you and the Desians? Kvar had all that information on you..."

I sighed hopelessly. "I have no clue. I really thought it was a case of mistaken identity. I know for a fact that I've never even had contact with the Desians before then, and I've never met that Yggdrasill guy." Oh, it felt so nice to confide in someone.

"We'll figure it out." Lloyd said confidently. "And in the meantime, I'll make sure they don't get their hands on you again. I already owe you enough for what you did back at the House of Salvation."

I felt my face turn red. "All I did was throw a rock and run away."

He rolled his eyes, returning the fake punch I'd given him earlier. "Shut up. You know it wasn't like that." Now he examined my face a little more, eyebrows raised. "Hey, why's your face all red?"

Great, by saying that he only made it worse. "Um." I looked away, but he only leaned over. Then he seemed to catch on, and he slowly grinned.

"Aw, are you embarrassed?"

"S-shut up!"

"You are, aren't you!"

And that was how the night went, Lloyd teasing me all he way back to the campsite. I ended up jumping into bed as soon as we got back, not wanting anyone to see how red my face was, but I heard Lloyd snickering from his place across the campfire. I threw my shoe at him.

----

A/N: Haha, I hate it when people point out that I'm blushing.

Whew, that was a long one! It's nice having a bunch of this already written. :D I try to stay ahead so I can post steadily. Anyway, time for more of my random comments...

Has anyone else had to dissect a grasshopper before? It sucks. And my teacher took it upon herself to reference different parts to food, so I was unable to eat rice pilaf for many weeks afterward...and I still can't eat pulled pork. XD

Oh, by the way. I'm actually 16, but for some reason I always set self-inserts in the future. I have no clue why, it's just a weird habit of mine. I'm hoping to have a car and apartment by the time I'm 18, but I think we all know how likely that is. XD As for the bit on Dunkin' Donuts-- My grandfather is a franchisee, he owns a couple stores. So yeah, I work there from time to time, and probably will be working there again. I'm talking too much...

I don't know if the whole rib-rebreaking-thing made sense at all. O.o It must suck if they heal weird in real life, since you can't really put a cast on your ribs, can you? Anyway, I just decided to let Kratty be abusive and such...XD Humor me, please? Or you could correct me if I'm mistaken, I have no clue.

I tried not to recycle too much game dialogue. It's boring to just copy from the game script, and probably boring to read, so I try to space it out or have Brittany say something....bleh. This author note is too long.

Next time: Onward to Hima! Adventures with the abusive mercenary! ...yay?