Carl wakes the next morning as the sun begins to rise. He dresses quietly and moves down the stairs avoiding the snares. Outside he sets his hat on his head and walks toward the trees. When he gets there he stops at Otis' grave first and bows his head saying a silent thank you.
Then he moves to Dale's grave. He stands there for some time. He hopes Dale is with his wife if the afterlife exists. He knew the old man had liked the sound of his own voice, but nobody deserved to die the way Carl had let him die. If he had not chickened out and run off without killing the Walker and then been too afraid to tell anyone about it Dale may still be alive.
"I'm sorry." Carl whispers as he moves on. He stands at her grave. The sun rises and bathes him in light. Daryl thinks he looks almost angelic as he watches him from the porch where he'd been sitting when Carl had walked past. When hears Patrick's footsteps from their bedroom he rises and walks to Carl.
"Patrick's awake." He says quietly as he stands with Carl.
"I'm sorry I stole your gun." Carl says without acknowledging Daryl's words.
"'S okay, Rick squared it." Daryl answers though something small and unrealized inside him unknots at the apology. It had been a long time coming but it had come.
"Still, I shouldn't have stolen it Daryl and I'm sorry." Carl turns and looks up at him. Daryl stares at him, slightly flummoxed as he realises in about two more inches Carl is going to equal his height.
"Like I said, Rick squared it." He goes to turn away but is stopped by Carl's words.
"How? I mean a weapon means life and death now."
"You really wanna' know the answer to that kid?" Daryl drawls as he raises a brow at Carl. He's lying but hell, if he can't mess with the kid of one of his significant others who can he mess with these days?
Carl surprises him by laughing though. "Nice try Daryl. That's okay, you don't have to say but I figure I owe you. And if you make sure Pat and I go on runs together every time from now on I'll owe you more." Carl turns back to contemplating Sophia's grave and Daryl turns away.
He's taken several steps when he looks up and sees Patrick standing on the front steps of the house. He looks at him then turns back to Carl.
"Hey Carl?" He waits until Carl turns around. "You're a good kid, Patrick's a good kid. Has a good heart. You stomp on that and I'm gonna stomp on you, you got that?" He says it quietly, his drawl making the words seem almost frivolous.
But Carl hears the sheer honest menace in them. He swallows. Then he nods.
"Yeah, I hear you Daryl, its nice Pat has someone else looking out for him. But you should know he's my boyfriend now, I'm not stomping on anything, he'll be around and we'll be together for a long time. Neither of us is going anywhere if we can help it."
Daryl shakes his head as Carl turns back to Sophia then he looks back at Patrick and raises his arm gesturing for Patrick. When he gets there he surprises both of them by clasping his shoulder.
"Patrick meet Sophia, she was Carol's daughter. Got lost when we had a herd on the highway, then got bit. Rick put her down properly." Daryl gives the dry bones first. As Patrick looks at him quizzically and Carl turns around to stare as well. "She was Carl's best friend once the infection hit. Carl introduce Patrick to Sophia." He gives Patrick's shoulder a gentle shove and Patrick steps forward to stand beside Carl.
Daryl turns and walks off tossing over this shoulder. "Take your time."
Carl watches him and shakes his head.
"I so want to be Daryl when I grow up." Patrick says with a sigh as he watches Daryl's lithe frame eat up the yards back to the house.
"He's pigeon-toed." Carl flushes in mortification as Patrick turns to him with a frown. "Well, he is!" He insists knowing how mean it sounded but Patrick's admiration for Daryl knew no bounds and after Daryl had basically told him he was going to beat him up if he treated Patrick wrong he wasn't feeling any particular Daryl love.
"Carl. Jeez he might pigeon-toed, I still wanna be him. Or like him." Carl frowns.
"Yeah I remember your 'man-crush' He makes quote marks in the air at the words man-crush. He goes to move away but Patrick grabs his arm.
"Don't make me put you down dude, do like Daryl said and introduce me to your friend, you're being rude you know."
Carl stops and looks at Patrick, "She's dead Pat." His words are dull and emotionless.
"Not the point." Patrick says as he pulls Carl's unresisting body down with him so they're both sitting in the damp grass.
Sighing Carl sits and crosses his legs. Patrick slides his hand from Carl's upper arm to his hand and laces their fingers together in his lap. Carl finds himself gripping Pat's hand as he looks at the now slightly depressed earth that holds Sophia.
"Soph, I want you to meet my boyfriend Patrick. Pat this is Sophia. I'm the only one that calls him Pat, so don't do that okay?" Carl feels monumentally stupid but Patrick merely nods and then l looking up at early morning sky he speaks as well.
"Hey Sophia, nice to meet you. I'm sorry I can't really meet you. Something tells me we would have gotten into a lot of trouble together." He tightens his hold on Carl's hand and continues. "I promise I'll treat him right, make him happy."
Looking over at Patrick Carl reaches his other hand to his eyes and wipes away his tears, he is unashamed of crying in front of Patrick. "She wanted to visit the Grand Canyon." He says out of the blue. "We were all gonna go, me and Mum and Dad and Carol and Sophia. But the herd came along when we were on the way to Fort Benning and everything went to shit and Soph died."
He lays his head down in Patrick's lap and cries. For himself, for Sophia and for Shane and Dale. "I killed Dale because I found a Walker in the swamp and couldn't kill it. I wasn't supposed to be out so I didn't tell anyone about it. And then it got free and followed my scent back to the farm and killed Dale. It was my fault. And then Shane, my Dad killed him and he turned so I had to put him down or he would have killed Dad."
Patrick is clueless about what he should do. So he does nothing but let Carl cry and stroke his hair. He rocks himself back and forth, hoping the movement comforts Carl. The sun has been up for some time when Carl finally stops crying. Patrick is stiff from sitting with his legs crossed under him for too long and one of them has gone to sleep he's sure.
As he feels and hears Carl's breathing even out he looks down at him. His eyes are closed. "You awake Carl?" He asks quietly not wanting to wake him if he is asleep but needing to move if he's awake.
"Yeah, I'll get up." Carl sits up rubbing his eyes and taking up the collar of his shirt to wipe his face. He is red and splotchy, his freckles standing out and his eyes are red-rimmed and bloodshot. But he looks better, at peace somehow. Which Patrick thinks is weird as he'd never before thought Carl wasn't at peace. But it was like somehow a weight had lifted off him.
Like he'd felt when he'd finally realised that Carl wasn't going anywhere he guessed. That Carl was his, his boyfriend for as long as they could make it work. Patrick smiles at Carl as he blows his nose on the bottom of his shirt.
Carl stands and brushes himself off. Then he holds out a hand to Patrick to help him up and holds on when Patrick shakes his leg to get the pins and needles out of it.
"Shit that hurts." He complains.
"Sorry Pat." Carl says as he waits for Patrick to be able to walk without limping.
"It's okay, you'd do the same for me. Part of the job description anyway."
Carl frowns. "Job description? What are you talking about? Wait, there's a job description?" His voice is horrified and Patrick nearly falls over laughing at the look on his face.
"Dude, no. Shit. It's what my mum always said to my dad when he thanked her for doing something." He laughs again, letting go of tension he didn't know he had harboured until he feels his scalp relax and his shoulders drop. The relief in them nearly has him wince at how tight they'd been.
Laughter really was the best medicine he guessed.
They walk back to the house and sit on the porch steps. Patrick looks out over the fields. It doesn't feel melancholy or forbidding anymore. "Hey Carl?" He waits until Carl turns to look at him. "We should do that in a few years. Take that trip together, for you and Sophia."
"The Grand Canyon?" Carl questions in shock.
"Yeah, be fun, dangerous, but a hell of a trip you know?" He watches Carl blink several times. Then nod slowly.
"It would be, Dad and Daryl and Mich wouldn't let us go for years though." He muses. "Though really in a couple they won't be able to stop us either." He thinks of it quietly. Travelling with Patrick, sleeping with him, fighting with him. Taking a journey almost like a holiday with him. "I'd love to Pat." He says softly as he places a hand on Patrick's thigh giving it a squeeze before he pulls back again as they hear footsteps inside coming toward them.
##########
Later that afternoon Carl steps into the shower again, this time to wash off the grime of the day. He's musing on how good a day they've had. Just packing and stuff and taking what else they could from the house for Herschel and Maggie and Beth. Carl had gone through Maggie's room for something she still treasured that she would appreciate.
She'd saved Judith's life, he always tried to be appreciative of her for doing that. He honestly didn't know if his dad had ever thanked her. He just couldn't remember. Those days were bad, trying to keep himself from breaking as his father had done.
Remembering how much the photograph he'd taken back for Judith meant to him he hoped the photographs he'd nabbed would be okay and the right choice.
The door banged open as he was rinsing off, Patrick heading for the toilet and putting up the lid as he opened his pants. "Pat, I'm still here." Carl says to him.
"Sorry dude, busting." Patrick exhales as he empties his bladder.
Carl shakes his head. "You know we've made do when we've had to for a few years now, one night under a roof and you've become civilized again. Don't think I like that." He mutters the last sentence but Patrick heard him.
Arching a brow he turns his head and looks over at Carl standing there wet and naked, the shower curtain having been purloined already. He looks sexy wet. Patrick thinks, all dripping hair and pale skin. Standing there with the water still going and his hands on his hips in an irritated fashion Patrick suddenly wanted nothing more than to go to his knees and suck his dangling dick into his mouth.
Instead knowing others are in the house he shakes his shoulders and snorts. Deliberately eyeing Carl's dick he looks over at him sardonically. "Dude, I had no idea you had such a small dick."
He watches Carl narrow his eyes at him. "You don't seem to think that when you're messing with it. You feel that way you don't have to be touching it all the time." He calls Patrick's bluff and turns around, deliberately arching his back and grabbing the soap so he can wash his backside.
Knowing Patrick hasn't left yet he makes sure he takes his time, let's Patrick see how clean he's getting himself. Then he feels fingers there alongside his own and he braces against the wall, making no bones about letting Patrick fondle him.
Looking back over his shoulder Carl smirks at Patrick upon seeing his flushed face. "Guess you don't mind the size of my dick after all Pat." Patrick shakes his head before he slides an arm around Carl's waist and pulls him back against his clothed body.
Kissing his neck lightly Carl simply melts back into him and sighs in pleasure. And that sigh, just this side of silent, almost a whimper actually nearly had Patrick going to his knees then and there to suck Carl off. He steps away when he hears boots on the stairs and Carl quickly turns to face the cold shower water, hissing softly as he pushes his erection into the spray. Patrick goes back to the toilet and puts the lid down, sitting on it he begins to take off his boots.
The door is still open. Rick sticks his head in. "Guys, you be okay here for a bit? We're gonna take quick run into the town, see if we can find anything" He questions them.
"Yes sir." Patrick answers as he takes off his boots and then his socks.
"Sure dad." Carl says as he finishes rinsing off and steps out of the tub grabbing his towel.
"Okay then, we'll be back around dark, no later." He turns then turns back again. "Patrick, call me Rick." Not waiting for an acknowledgement he turns back and walks down the stairs. Halfway there he frowns and pauses before continuing. He'd ask Carl later about that fading bruise.
Carl looks at Patrick and he looks back. They both stand and stare silently as they listen to Rick, Daryl and Michonne head outside and then a vehicle start up. Neither of them move until the sound of it has died away completely and there is no sound other than the wind in the trees outside.
The afternoon is theirs, completely.
Carl is suddenly aware he is breathing heavily and his dick is hard again despite the cold water he'd just washed over it to soften it in his father's presence. He hears his breath rasping in and out and lowers his gaze.
"No, dude. Don't. I love watching you." He feels his face flame. This is the most private they've ever been in all their months together. He looks back at Patrick from under his lashes and he smiles as Patrick's pupils dilate as their eyes connect. Carl thinks his are probably dilated too. The small amount of light coming in through the window seems brighter suddenly.
"We're alone." He says unnecessarily.
"Yeah, I still need to shower though." Patrick says as he continues to undress. Carl nods and picks up his discarded clothes, he takes them into the room they're using and puts them on the floor, he hears the shower start up and he releases a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding.
Going quickly down the stairs he makes sure the snares are set up for Walker and human alike. Then he hot-foots it back up the stairs and looks at their room. The late afternoon sun is coming in through the windows and he quickly throws their bedding on the floor and arranges it. Hearing the shower shut off, he swallows and looks around wildly. Where…there it was. He grabbed the lube in case it was needed and shoved it under his pillow.
Then he lies down in the centre of the bedding and crossing his legs at the ankles and his hands over his stomach he waits. Patrick steps into the room a few minutes later carrying his boots and clothes as well. He stops dead when he sees Carl lying in the sunlight. He can just see the fading edge of his love bite at the edge of the towel.
Letting his clothes and boots fall to the ground he steps forward, also wearing nothing but a towel. "Towel off." He says abruptly as he lets his own fall away.
He watches Carl swallow as he raises his hips nearly making Patrick come as he watched the towel be pulled away. Kneeling down Patrick brushes a thumb across the fading bruise. It doesn't cross his mind that Rick might have seen it today. Carl inhales sharply as he does so and Patrick smiles as he leans down and opens his mouth over it, sucking the blood back to the surface again.
Carl brushes his hand through Patrick's wet hair, its dripping like his is, but that's okay. Not realising what he's doing he pushes Patrick's face harder against him so he sucks harder as well. He moans when Patrick moans and feels his balls draw up.
"Gonna come." He says and Patrick draws back quickly. His hand reaching for the base of Carl's dick and tightening on it. Carl gasps as his orgasm recedes. He frowns up at Patrick and pouts at him. "How come you never told me about that trick Pat? Am I ever gonna know everything about sex?" He asks in a disgruntled tone.
Laughing Patrick sits back and shakes his head. "Dude, how many fucking times to I have to tell you, dudes don't fucking pout." He shoves Carl's shoulder as he laughs at Carl. Carl can't help laughing back. He knew he was pouting, despite what Patrick said, Carl knew he liked when he did it.
"Anyway," He says changing the subject. "How do you want me to suck you?" Patrick freezes as he stares down at Carl and Carl suddenly feels at a disadvantage lying down. "You do still want me to?" he asks quietly as he sits up.
Patrick nods emphatically. "Hell yeah. But," He pauses as he looks at Carl from under how own lashes now with a fey smile. Carl suddenly realises that is how he looks at Patrick and he understands why Patrick is putty in his hands sometimes. That look, that look was something Carl would kill for all over again. "I want to suck you first." Patrick finishes as he licks his lips and lies down on his stomach.
"Here is okay? I mean, I know you wanted to be outside in the sunlight…" He trails off as Patrick looks up.
"Here is just fine Carl. But only if you're ready. Are you ready?" He asks simply as he leans on his elbows, hovering over Carl's dick but making no move toward it. He was waiting for Carl to say it was okay, that he was ready.
Carl nods slowly. Patrick doesn't move however, knowing Carl is readying himself to speak. "Yeah Pat, I'm ready. I want to suck you so bad. But, I don't, I mean you don't have to suck me first or at all you know. I, I just wanted you to know that, you don't have to do me."
Patrick kneels up again and scoots forward until he's straddling Carl's thighs. He sits on him and Carl inhales as he feels Pat's balls rub on his still-hard dick. Before he can say anything though Patrick kisses him. Soft and sweet, his tongue flirting with Carl's, coaxing it out to play.
He continues kissing Carl for a long time, letting Carl relax and become nearly boneless with arousal. His dick is throbbing now, in time with his heartbeat. He groans into Patrick's mouth when Patrick takes both their dicks in his hand and slicks their pre-come all over them before he begins to jerk them both off together.
"Fuck!" The word comes out of Carl's mouth without him even knowing he'd said it.
Smiling Patrick answer's him. "Not yet dude, but one day for sure. No way I'm ever gonna give you up." Carl snorts even as his eyes roll in pleasure. He looks at Patrick through his lashes and then looks down at Patrick's hand on their cocks. His own hands come to rest on Patrick's thighs and he suddenly gets an idea. Sucking two fingers into his own mouth he lets saliva coat them liberally & then looking at Patrick as he does so, he moves them down under their balls and skates them across Patrick's hole.
"You fucker!" Its Patrick's turn to swear as Carl uses his surprise to press past that first tight muscle.
"Not yet Pat, but one day definitely." Carl tosses Patrick's words back at him nearly verbatim.
Patrick snarls at him as Carl smiles an angelic smile and begins to prod his prostate. "I'm really glad you showed me this Pat." He says softly and Patrick calms at his tone. He isn't teasing anymore, merely giving Patrick pleasure as he's getting himself.
"Spread your legs." Patrick says suddenly as he slicks up two fingers of his own.
"Pat, no. You don't have to. I just…ahh." Carl trails off as he feels Patrick's long fingers push inside him. "Pat." He says simply as he drops his head forward onto Patrick's shoulder and stares at Patrick's other hand still jerking them off. "Still gonna come you know."
He feels Patrick's amused laugh skate across his neck and raises his head. Patrick's eyes glint down at him and Carl smiles back up at him. Then he leans up to kiss him as he feels his balls draw up again. Eyes closing to everything but his orgasm Carl kisses Patrick hotly now. His tongue pushing into Patrick's mouth and his free hand coming up to hold Patrick by the neck as Patrick jerks him through his orgasm and then continues to jerk him off as he comes himself.
Carl can feel Patrick's hole fluttering around his fingers as he feels Patrick's come splash between them as his had done moments before. He waits a few minutes as they both catch their breath and then he pulls his fingers out of Patrick. He groans as Patrick clenches on them, trying to keep them inside.
When they plop out he brings them forth and looking at Patrick he slowly raises them to his lips and opens his mouth over them, sucking them down. He slides his tongue over them, pushes them in and out of his mouth, cleaning them. Tasting Patrick's very essence.
Patrick just watches and Carl can feel his dick hardening again. He can feel his own dick hardening too. Then with a sigh Patrick pulls his own fingers out of Carl. Instead of mimicking Carl however he raises his fingers to Carl's mouth as well. Carl smiles at Patrick through his lashes as he sucks himself off Patrick's fingers.
Moaning Patrick pulls them out and pushes back on Carl's legs and is face down in Carl's lap before he realises he's even moved. Carl's head falls back on the wall with a heavy thump as he feels Patrick's lips engulf his dick.
"Pat, God!" He exclaims as his back arches. He feels the wet suction on his dick and Patrick's fingers in his backside again and before he knows where he is he shoots again. Straight into Patrick's mouth. He is mortified as Patrick's chuckles around him even as he swallows. He tries to push him away but he can't. "Pat, get off!" He says finally, loud and sharp.
Pulling off slowly, Patrick gives one last tongue twining kiss to the head of Carl's dick. Then he sits up licking his lips and smearing his fingers across his chin where some of Carl's come had escaped. Looking at Carl, his eyes heavy-lidded and black as night he slowly pulls Carl's earlier move as he sucks them into his mouth and cleans Carl off them.
"Yeah dude?" Patrick finally asks as he finishes his come clean up job. "Why'd you want me to stop? I could've made you come again you know. I'm good."
Carl frowns. "I, I didn't come too quick?" He asks quietly.
"What? No, why would you think that?" Patrick asks puzzled.
"Oh geez Pat, I don't know, maybe because I came in your mouth in like two freaking seconds!" Carl answers in an irritated tone.
Patrick snorts. "Dude, you're like fourteen, fifteen soon enough. It's like a requirement, a rite of teenage passage or some shit that we come lots and come fucking quick. If you hadn't made me stop I'd have made you come again already I bet." Patrick laughs lightly as he answers.
Carl frowns again. "You're not, not disappointed in me? That I came too quick I mean?"
"Nope, not at all. I bet I'll be the same." Patrick leans up and moves back up to straddle Carl. He puts both hands over his shoulders and leans their foreheads together. "Not even an issue Carl, I promise." He kisses Carl again and Carl kisses him back.
Sliding down the wall they wrap themselves around each other and savour the skin on skin contact as they've never been able to before. And there in the sunlight, they fall asleep in each other's arms.