I don't own Phineas and Ferb, or the song I'm parodying.
Tis the Season To be Evil Pt. 3
Or
You're a Mean One, Doofenshmirtz (Parody of "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" by Thurl Ravenscroft)
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!
On Christmas!
Inside DEI, Major Monogram is back to being tied above the vat of acid as Dr. Doofenshmirtz awaits us.
"Merry Christmas, everyone. Or should I say Doom-mas?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz says, chuckling.
"Can we get this over with? The sooner we get started, the sooner Agent P can foil your twisted scheme, and I can go home." Said Major Monogram.
"You're almost absolutely right, Monobrow. I'm just waiting for the other person who's going to be trapped, and I told him that I had a surprise for him.
"Who would be foolish enough to do that?"
"Says the man tied above a vat of acid."
"Touche."
CRAASH!
Perry!
Suddenly, Perry kicks the front door open and leaps into Dr. Doofenshmirtz's lair, and strikes a fighting pose.
"Ah there we go. Ladies and gentlemen, our 2nd doomed guest, Perry the Platypus." Said Dr. Doofenshmirtz.
Perry pulls out a wrapped gift and hands it to the doctor.
"Aww, you got me something? Thank you, and now here's something for you." He said. He pulled a ray gun out and fired at Perry, who side stepped it, but ended up walking into a net.
"HAH! Got you, Perry the Platypus. Now to tell you my evil scheme." Said Dr. Doofenshmirtz, as he let Perry's head stick out of the net, and tied the rest of his body up in chains, and put him on the chains next to Major Monogram.
"I'd rather be dropped into the acid now." Moaned Major Monogram.
"You see, since our last Christmas get together, where I finally learned how to hate Christmas, I've been thinking about how it would be to be on Santa's naughty list. But then it occurred to me, that I've been evil for years and I was still on Santa's nice list, just barely mind you. So it occurred: am I truly evil?"
"Well, actually-"
"Nobody asked you, Monobrow! So, after some serious thinking, I realized that Perry might be the reason I'm not totally evil. He's making me look incompetent and stupid."
"Suuuuure, the platypus is the reason you're incompetent." Major Monogram said sarcastically.
"It is. So I devised this whole scheme, where I would ask my fans if I was evil or not, and use the results to get revenge. How will I do that?"
"Duh, the vat of acid."
"Shut up. The Review-Analyzer-inator is connected with those chains, and will be lowered depending on someone's review. Evey time I read a review saying I'm not evil, or good, Perry the platypus will be lowered towards the vat. It's sort of my way of punishing Perry for making me look bad. For every time I get a review saying I am evil, Major Monogram gets lowered."
"What do I have to do with any of this?"
"Because I got to keep my evil image, and what better way to make me look evil than by getting rid of you. Besides, it's sort of my gift for the both of you. One of you has a chance to live."
"I'm probably going to regret asking this, but what if someone says you're both good and bad?"
"If that happens, then you both get lowered. If I find out that someone is lying just to save Perry the Platpus, then he gets lowered. Whoever is closest to the vat loses, not including me of course."
"Well aren't you generous." Major Monogram said sarcastically.
"Hey, don't blame me, blame the readers." Replied Dr. Doofenshmirtz.
"You can't blame everyone for your problems."
"Yes I can."
"No you can't."
"Yes I can. It's in the Constitution."
"Where does it say that?"
"Right here." Dr. Doofenshmirtz grabbed the U.S. Constitution and on it in big black letters said "Dr. Doofenshmirtz can blame whoeer he wants."
"How did you get your hands on the Constitution?"
"Ummmmm, I found it?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz lied.
"And you misspelled "whoever"."
"I know, but you wouldn't believe how hard it is to get permanent marker off this thing."
"Why-I-you-GR-Hrhgh-" stammered Major Monogram as he started choking on his own rage. "I don't even what to say about you."
"Perhaps this might help as you two are lead to your doom." Said Dr. Doofenshmirtz as he hit a button on the Review-Analyzer-Inator and it starts playing "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch".
*music starts*
He takes off his regular lab coat and puts a red-and-white one, puts on a Santa hat, and grabs a cane.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Who's the most evil?
Doofenshmirtz.
Said a reviewer, in their teens (Probably)
"Doof, you're more cute than you're evil!"
This was posted by futureauthor13.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz responded, "Well, I'm flattered, but you did lie, so I'm going to prove to you…"
That I'm not cute, I'm mean!
With that, the chains holding Perry and Major Monogram started to lower them a foot.
You all love me
Doofenshmirtz.
Here's Nomsworth and Redtutel:
The first one adds I'm imcompetent
And the other one also swears, but claims I'm evil
"Spkdog said that my parodying songs is evil itself. And if you liked those acts of evil….."
Then get ready to LOL!
Immediately, Major Monogram, dropped 3 feet, getting the steam from the acid in his eyes.
"Sing along if you want, Monobrow." Said Dr. Doofenshmirtz.
Major Monogram: I despise you:
Doofenshmirtz.
Your parodies, aren't that clever.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: You take that back this instant!
Major Monogram: Okay, they're kinda good. Whatever.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz reads another reviewand says "Phineas-isabella-4-ever says that I'm evil and not evil, and that I act like this because of my childhood. Then he or she-
"He or she?" Major Monogram asks.
"Well it's the internet. You can't tell who someone is."
"What if you use one of those web cameras? Or read their profile?"
"Ggrgrgrgrgrgr." Added Perry.
"Whatever, they even calls me stupid and gives examples that barely count. And then give me suggestions. How rude, I don't need help!"
"You use blueprints from Blueprint Haven and once downloaded a blueprint off a website."
"Quiet you. Then they call me evil, and ask why I want to take over the Tri-State Area and why I continue doing these things. And then goes onto saying I'm not evil. So what, I'm evil, then you change your mind?"
"Well it's better than nothing." I say while sitting on a chair while typing on a computer. "I mean, I'd appreciate if I just get an "LOL! It lets me know that people like my story so much that they want to tell me."
"Plus they did give some good points. You are pretty stupid and do expect to lose a lot."
"Well what do you expect? I got low self-esteem, alright! I mean Perry knows how many times I've been disappointed. As for the Tri-State Area thing…. There's actually a reason for that. But we don't have time." Said Dr. Doofenshmirtz.
"I could write up a story and post it on New Year's, if you want." I offer.
"….. Maybe. So I guess Perry, time for you to get lowered."
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Thanks Phineas-isabella-4-ever!
Perry suddenly drops down a feet.
Who's a great singer?
Doofenshmirtz.
I can tell you're feeling jealousy.
"You're NOT evil, Perry's your friend."
And "for everyone's sake you're evil"
That's from NattyMc
"This was added last night. "Sorry to burst your bubble Doofenshmirtz, but you are not even the slightest bit evil. Oops, my mistake. You probably already burst your bubble with that pointy nose of yours." Who the heck wrote this? Oh, him. Well let me just say that my nose is not that pointy, NattyMc's reviews count as two, and let me say this as sarcastically as possible."
Thanks a lot, Rodney!
Perry gets lowered quickly 3 feet, and is now inches away from the acid, and is one review away from being done for.
Who's a smart one
Doofenshmirtz.
I'm so bad, it's almost scary.
My nemesis will meet his end
Yet, I will still merry.
Me: Doofenshmirtz!
"Yeah, what is it?" he asks.
"There's still one review left, and it's a big one." I say.
"Well then let me see." Dr. Doofenshmirtz pushes me aside and reads the review.
""Doofenshmirtz, I'm not sure what to call you. I mean, you're no saint, but you aren't exactly Jack the Ripper. I'd have to say you're both-" Okay, that settles it. Perry and Monobrow both get lowered. At least I'll have one less platypus to worry about."
As Dr. Doofenshmirtz gets ready to hit the lower button, I get back up and read the rest of the message.
""-Because you're the living embodiment of good and evil"?" I read.
*Music stops*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz freezes, as Major Monogram and I gasp.
"WHAT! Let me read the rest of this." Said Dr. Doofenshmirtz, as he pushes me out of the way again. (Ouch.) "Let's see. "You personify what good and evil are all about. No matter how many times you are beaten, you never give up and always return and affect everyone. Sometimes you are hated, sometimes liked. Like a hero, you always try to do what you think is right and overpower your enemies, and like a villain find new ways to get back at your foes." Wow, poetic. Oh well, time to send Perry to his doom.
*Music resumes*
"I wonder who wrote that? I well. Goodbye Perry the Platypus."
I slowly get back up, rubbing my head and finish reading, gasping.
"WAIT!" I yell.
"What! What could be so important?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz. "Are you stalling?"
"No."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Well make it fast."
"Okay."
"I mean it."
"I hope you do."
"I will."
"THAT IS IT! I'M JUST GOING TO DESTROY MY NEMESIS!" yelled Dr. Doofenshmirtz as he reached for the button to release Perry.
Me: This review from Perry.
*Record scratch*
Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Major Monogram freeze and let their mouths gape wide open. Dr. Doofenshmirtz rushes to the computer, I manage to avoid him this time, and he looks at the last part.
"What! "Have a merry Christmas and thanks for being a great frenemy.
–Perry the Platypus.""
The doctor turned to his nemesis, as his eyes started to water. "Perry the Platypus, that was so sweet. That-that really made my day. *sniff* You know what, I'm going to set you free, as a way of saying thank you."
Dr. Doofenshmirtz hit a button and Perry was taken to Dr. Doofenshmirtz. He untied his nemesis and smiled.
"Thank you Perry the Platypus. Unfortunately, I have reputation to keep, so I guess Major Monobrow will have to take your place."
"WHAT!" yelled the Major Monogram.
"Nothing personal. And Merry-"
POW!
Perry uppercutted Dr. Doofenshmirtz proceeded to kicking his butt.
5 minutes later…
Perry smiled as he and Major Monogram watched Dr. Doofenshmirtz dangle over the pit of acid, tied up in chains as he was lowered into the vat.
"Oh come one guys, it's Christmas." Said Dr. Doofenshmirtz
"Fine. We'll just leave you up there then." Said Major Monogram, as Perry pressed a button that stopped Dr. Doofenshmirtz from being lowered
"*sigh* Fine. I just hope Norm gets back soon. I wonder where he is?"
"I sent him on a vacation to Easter Island so he can be with his prototype head." I say.
"Anyway, good job Agent P for sending that review before coming here. Who knew Doof was so emotional."
Perry and I both raise our hands.
"Um guys, we still have one last verse. Do you mind?" I ask Dr. Doofenshmirtz.
"Ugh, fine." Groans Dr. Doofenshmirtz.
*Music starts*
Major Monogram: You're defeated.
Doofenshmirtz.
You were no match for us.
Perry: Grgrgrg grg rrg grr gr grgrgrgrgrgrg
Me: And lost again to justice.
Doofenshmirtz!
Dr. Dooenshmirtz adds, "I'd like to say thank you everyone who reviewed and left a comment, I like to get feedback. Stay tuned because I have some other songs that were recommended that I made. So just wait, this is almost over."
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Let me just end this by saying Curse you to PS2wizard, Major Monogram, everyone who reviewed and especially without a question of a doubt:
Perry the Pla-
-ty-
-puuuuuuuuuuuuuus!
"Bah humbug." Groans Dr. Doofenshmirtz.
*Music stops*
Stay tuned for two new parody songs that were recommended in reviews.