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Tonight, we're going to take a look at one of the most influential hillbillies ever! He's Hillbilly Jim! He dances, he prances, he…takes chances—playin' the lottery (Sorry, best I could think of, ok?). But, anyway, we're here tonight to LEARN about hillbilly Jim and the astounding IMPACT he's had on each of our lives! Read on!
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One man forever changed the way we would look at hillbillies in the wrestling world: Hillbilly Jim. Hillbilly Jim was born James William Hill on April 7, 1955 in Boot Strap, Kentucky. But what's that you say? You always thought that his hometown was Mud Lick, Kentucky? Sorry, you've been deceived. We all have. Lying about his true roots is Jim's own secret shame. But it's an all-too-common practice in the cutthroat business of professional wrestling. His father, Reverend Steven Q. Hill, was a Unitarian missionary; therefore, Jim got to see much of the world as a child.
No matter where the family settled, however, Jim was an outcast. This could be attributed to his shy demeanor, or perhaps it was because he had grown a full beard by the age of three. Who's to say? One hot summer night in 1960, when the Hill family lived in the savage jungles of Borneo, an island native attacked their grass hut in a syphilitic rage. Acting on instinct, young Jim sprung from his bed and subdued the intruder with a series of bearhugs and elbow drops. On that fateful night, Jim realized what his true calling was: dog grooming.
Unfortunately, he proved to be a poor dog groomer. Many people just can't handle the stress of the high-pressure world of pet manicures, and Jim was no exception. He hung up his shears at the tender age of twenty and searched for employment elsewhere. However, some good came out of the whole experience. Jim acquired the nickname Harley Davidson, because, as one of my sources told me, "He wore a chrome bumper on his ass."
As the 1980s began, Jim found himself financially and spiritually downtrodden. But that's when fate intervened, in the form of legendary wrestler Stu Hart. You see, Hart found Jim sleeping in an old truck in downtown Calgary, and took the youngster home to his dungeon. No, not the famous Dungeon where he trained his sons and Chris Benoit, among others. It's a little-known fact that Stu Hart had a small, dank prison in his home, where he held homeless people and fur trappers captive. After six months, Stu let Jim out for good behavior, and even decided to train him as a wrestler, out of the goodness of his heart. The young man made astounding progress, so much so that Stu actually fed him three times a week.
Armed with his newfound knowledge and passion for technical wrestling, Jim made his professional debut in Stu Hart's Stampede Wrestling federation under his old nickname, Harley Davidson. He was quite popular with the fans, but who knows how much more popular he could have been, had he gone with the gimmick that Stu suggested: Stinky Hill, the 6'8" skunk. They say hindsight is 20/20.
Nevertheless, it was only a matter of time (five years, more or less) before Harley Davidson had become played out in Stampede. It's probably because the only other wrestlers in the territory were the British Bulldogs, Bad News Brown, the Sheik, and the Harts (yes, even Bruce). That's when the well-known vision of Vince McMahon, Jr. intervened, and stole all the popular wrestlers in every regional territory, even if he didn't particularly need or even want them. Certainly, Jim was one of those wrestlers, and Vince had special plans for him. It was a simple equation, really; Vince had a famous hard-on for big, lumbering guys, and a not-quite-as-famous hard-on for hillbillies. When he found out that Jim was not REALLY a rough biker, and was in fact a humble soul from Kentucky, it was time for James William Hill to return to his roots. Hillbilly Jim was born.
It was only a matter of time before Hillbilly mania was running wild all over the WWF, and even an injury couldn't slow the train down. "More hillbillies!" the rabid fans cried. "We love hillbillies!" So, with Jim sidelined, his gentle bumpkin family was introduced. There was Uncle Elmer, and even Cousin Junior. In an amazing turn of events, each progressive family member was more slow-witted and less athletically competent than the man before him. I like to call it the "Bush Factor." I think eventually, Elmer and Junior were married, and then Jesse Ventura and Roddy Piper beat them with crowbars hidden in the wedding cake…those dastardly no-goodnicks.
Still, insulting spinoffs were not nearly enough to bring down the original Hillbilly. None other than Hulk Hogan sensed this fact, and feared that he would soon be unseated as the most recognizable wrestling superstar. In early 1987, the Orange One hatched a fiendish plan. He would suggest that Jim turn heel, and challenge Hogan for the WWF title at Wrestlemania III. Nothing kills a wrestler's heat like a clean job to the Hulkster, brother, and Hogan knew it.
However, Jim had the foresight to reject this proposal, instead opting to work a mixed-tag match with midgets against King Kong Bundy and more midgets. Hulk settled for a program with Andre the Giant instead, which drew ninety seven thousand fans to the Pontiac Silverdome, blah blah blah. Unfortunately, the midget craze did not take hold of the WWF as Jim had hoped it would, but nevertheless, he has an undefeated 1-0 record at Wrestlemanias. Can any of the other greats claim that? Savage? No. DiBiase? No. Giant Gonzalez? No. Undertaker? Yes? That can't be right. It's only because he never faced Hillbilly Jim.
Sometime in 1988, Jim realized he had reached his absolute peak as a performer, and chose to go out on top. Fans everywhere mourned the loss of their hero and role model, but to the thrill of everybody, he returned for one last run at glory in the early 90s. You may remember the successful tag team that he formed alongside Brian Pillman; they were known as the Hollywood Blonds. Jim soon became frustrated with the politics of WCW, and retired for good. Fortunately, he returned to work for the WWF, the company that gave him so much in the prime of his career. To this day, he still works in their video department. I hear he makes a killer coffee. But secretarial skills aside, Hillbilly Jim's legacy lives on every time my drunken friends and I assume the "Hillbilly Jim Pose", you know, the one where he thrusts out his chin and flexes his arms? Yeah, that's the stuff.
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