Chapter 10

Nathan's POV

I'm at the river court and a basketball is in my hands that I had taken from the car on the way here. Every shot I send towards the basket swishes in the net, or should I say chinks because the net is made out of chains. The chink of the chains is the only outside sound I'm allowing into my subconscious.

I'm thinking about everything that's transpired over the past few days and the more I remember…the more shots I sink. I guess rage fuels my game.

"What the hell was that Nathan!" Lucas whispered

"They're…sedatives, I got them the night we took her to the hospital after Haley found out she'd been raped."

Chink.

I move back outside the three foot line, right side.

"She's putting up a front to make you think she's fine." Haley said slowly

Chink.

I move to half court

"Why…I was coming to see my pretty little sex toy." Tim said innocently

Chink

I move to the other side of the court, right below the other basket.

"Tim said that he was only raping me in order to get back at Nathan for forgetting about him. He said that…. the thing that would hurt Nathan…most in the world….was to rape me, to hurt me, and scar me for life."

Chink

This was something unnatural…it's like I can't miss! Damn, if Whitey could see me right now! I'm lining up another shot when I hear it.

"Nice shot son! How in the hell did you do that!" Dan says from the sidelines

"I just thought about the crappy childhood you gave me and Jess." I say shooting.

Chink

"Oh, I think it's more than that Nathan." Dan says snidely

"The one that I just made was because I was thinking about the childhood that you and mom gave Jess and I. The first full court shot you saw me make…do you really want to know? "I ask

"I would." He says

"She was raped Dad." I say

" Wh..WHAT!" he yells

"Tim Smith raped Jess Dad." I say

"You're telling me that your best friend raped my daughter!" he yells again, "How could you let that happen Nathan!"

"Wow Dad, in the fourteen years that Jess has been alive…that is the first time that you have ever called her your daughter." I say watching Dan's eyes fall "It's sad that it took someone taking away her innocence, violating her in the worst possible way, to make you realize that you actually have a child." I say

"How the hell can you say that to me Nathan!" he whispers

"You know damn well how I'm able to say that to you Dad. Oh wait, that's right! You get so wasted you don't remember anything!" I yell

"For years you beat up Jessica only to ask how she got the bruises in the morning! Did you ever notice how she was afraid to look you in the eyes when you asked her that question?" I ask

"Nathan…I…." he starts

"You know what Dad, save it! I have a wife and sister that I need to get home to." I say walking off my haven and heading towards home.

Jessica's POV

The words of the great band Our Lady Peace and the song "A Story About A Girl" are filtering through my ears right now. This song reminds me of Nathan. I don't want to see him right now because I had to retell the story of the rape to a stranger and because I had to retell the story I feel like the rape is happening again. My worst fear is he'll see me as its happening, so this song is the only way I can have the security of Nathan here without actually having him here.

Suddenly something I'm not
You're something that you bought
Was it something I said, my friend
A little girl are you tripping on this
Are you tripping all over it
You better come up for air

I can remember and feel his breath on my neck, my arms being held over my head, and the numbness slowly fading as he's slicking himself up.

Story about a girl
My
Story about the world
My

I can remember feel the mind numbing pain as he forces himself inside my body and how dirty and broken I felt. I feel the tears flowing down my cheeks as I remember the hit he sent to my temple when I asked him why.

And are you waking up slowly
You're nothing but lonely
Are you waking up holding
Holding your breath
And are you looking for something
I promised you one thing
I promise Ill always
Always be
There

I remember how I just took everything because I sent my mind somewhere else Why didn't I try and fight after the numbness wore off? Am I just that stupid?

I know
Its stuck inside your head
You're alone
You better get used to it
And I know
The feeling has to end
You're strong
It sucks you in again
And you're lost
You cant make any sense
This world
It tears you limb from limb
And hold on
You're nothing but the best

I remember a new bit: his other words as he moved inside me besides him telling me why he raped me, "I get to have sex with a cheerleader and hurt my former best friend at the same time." "You're a worthless piece of shit you know that Jess? Your such a baby, you need your big brother for everything don't you? "I don't know why he saved you from being beaten by your daddy…you weren't worth it."

And are you waking up slowly
You're nothing but lonely
Are you waking up holding
Holding your breath
Are you looking for something
I promised you one thing
I promise Ill always
Always be there

I remember getting up, putting on my clothes, and sprinting from his house, leaving my cell phone as I fled. I remember running to the apartment and straight into the shower. I scrubbed so hard that my skin was raw and bleeding and I passed out from the pain.

With all my faith
And all my heart
And all those simple things you are

I'm bawling now. I'm sitting on my bed, bawling because of the memories that won't go away no matter how hard I try to forget them. Then I hear the click of my bedroom door lock and feel my mattress droop, but when hands touch me I jump out of my skin. I fall backwards off of my bed and onto the floor. I thought that Tim was coming to rape me again, so when the same hands touch me and pull me back onto the bed I'm crying even harder and shaking.

"Please…d-d-don't hurt me Tim! N-n-not again. I-I-…" I feel fingers under my chin that lifted my head to meet my brother's eyes.

"Hey kiddo." He whispers and that was all it took for me to bury my face in the crook of his neck.

Nathan's holding me in the security of his arms and all I can do is sob as the song ends.

With all my faith
And all my heart
And all those simple things you are.