Chapter 10
"Hang on Kisame un!" Deidara shouted, digging through Kisame's closet to save him. "HOLY SHIT WHAT'S THAT?" he screamed, and tumbled out of the closet. Finally Deidara and Sasori managed to find Kisame's arms and they started pulling them.
"Ow ow ow OW OW OW!" Kisame yelped. The pile of junk in his closet eventually crashed down onto Deidara and Sasori.
"Damn it," Sasori muttered.
"Danna un, we left Hidan all alone!" Deidara cried, struggling to get free.
"HELP! SOME GET YOUR ASS IN HERE! DEIDARA, SASORI, AND I ARE DROWNING IN MY CLOSET!" Kisame shouted. Finally Kakuzu came in and used his threads to free the men.
"Clean up your closet," Kakuzu muttered and left. Sasori and Deidara ran back to Sasori's room and saw Hidan crying.
"HIDAN UN!" Deidara shrieked. Hidan's head snapped up and he held his arms out to Sasori.
"Fine," Sasori sighed and lifted Hidan up.
"Where's your teddy bear un?" Deidara asked, scanning the room.
"Someone took it," Hidan sniffled.
"Who?" Sasori asked calmly, rubbing circles on Hidan's back to calm him down. Deidara went out of the room and got Konan.
"I can't tell you, I don't want to be a tattletale," Hidan muttered, resting his head in the crook of Sasori's neck. Then they heard a loud bang.
"WHO THE HELL TOOK MY BABY'S BEAR?" Konan screamed. She grabbed each member and dragged them to the living room. The only people she didn't drag was Sasori and Hidan, she let them follow her. Once everyone was in the living room the investigation began. I say it went very well.
"What's this about?" Pain muttered, looking at Konan. Hidan was on the floor next to her.
"Someone stole his teddy bear and I want to know who," Konan growled, pointing at Hidan.
"Not me," Everyone said in unison. Hidan tugged on Konan's cloak and she looked down at him.
"Yes?" Konan asked sweetly.
"Zetsu's black half took it, he didn't have the nicer half connected," Hidan sniffled. He got up and hid behind Konan so Zetsu's black half didn't eat him.
"WHAT? WE SPLIT UP TO CLEAN AND YOU GO AND STEAL A LITTLE KIDS TEDDY BEAR?" Zetsu yelled at himself.
"Pretty much," Zetsu said back to himself, smiling. He took Hidan's bear and hid it, he considered himself a genius for that. Suddenly Hidan attacked him, but an annoyed Uchiha pulled him off.
"Zetsu go get the teddy bear and give it back to Hidan then apologize," Itachi demanded. Zetsu darted out of the room and came back with the bear; he threw it at full force and hit Hidan in the face with it.
"Zetsu, let's have a talk," Konan said with a sickly sweet voice. She dragged Zetsu to her bedroom and locked the door.
"Pain-sama you better go get your lady," Kisame said smirking. Pain rolled his eyes, but on the inside he was like 'OH SHIT!' He slowly rose and walked out of the room, and then he ran like hell to Konan's room. He started banging on the door. Konan opened it and saw Pain.
"What's wrong?" She asked immediately, laying her hand on his cheek and gazing lovingly into his eyes.
"Don't fuck Zetsu!" he growled out and came into the room. Konan's eyes widened and she slammed her door shut and locked it again.
"I wouldn't fuck a plant, only you," Konan murmured seductively. They locked Zetsu in the closet, put a Do Not Disturb sign up and got to work.
"They're fucking again," Zetsu muttered as he rose out of the floor.
"Why the fuck didn't you join them?" Hidan asked, smirking.
"They threw me in a damn closet," Zetsu growled. He sat down on the couch and turned on the nature channel. Everyone sighed and the fight for the remote began.
"Sasori, can I go sleep in your room?" Hidan asked, rubbing his left eye with his tiny fist. He held his teddy bear to his chest with his right arm.
"Why my room?" Sasori asked, lifting Hidan onto his lap.
"Just cause," Hidan yawned and drifted off to sleep. Sasori carried him into his room and placed him under the covers of his bed. His bed was rather clean because he had never used it, due to the fact he was a puppet.
"I just thought of why you wanted to stay here," Sasori muttered to the sleeping child. "Your room is to close to Pain-sama and Konan-same," he muttered then chuckled. He began to work on his puppets while Hidan was napping.
The Next DayHidan is outside playing, he wandered quite far from the base and no one was watching him. He heard a rustle in the bushes and walked closer.
"Who the hell is there?" Hidan growled. The man and woman who turned him into a kid came out of the bush.
"Hi there dear, I've got a new jutsu," the woman snarled at him. She did several hand signs and Hidan felt everything around him growing.
"Awww look at the little baby!" the woman cooed. The man snickered at him and they disappeared in a puff of smoke. Hidan couldn't stand up or talk, so he started wailing his lungs out.
"Where's Hidan?" Itachi asked, walking up to the other members.
"He's right over-HIDAN!" Kisame yelled. Konan and Pain went on a mission and left the guys in charge of Hidan, they already lost him. Everyone split up and began running around frantically searching for Hidan. Finally, several miles from the base, Deidara found a baby with silver hair, purple eyes, and a Jashinist necklace. When the baby saw Deidara it lifted its arms up, signaling to him that it wanted to be picked up. Deidara quickly lifted the baby up and stared at it.
"Hidan un?" Deidara asked, cradling the baby against his chest. In response, the baby cuddled to him. "It is you un!" he said in shock. He ran back to the front of the base, still outside, and waited for the others. After awhile they all came back.
"HIDAN'S A BABY! TOBI WANT'S TO HOLD HIM!" Tobi yelled, bouncing up and down excitedly.
"No un!" Deidara growled. He cradled Hidan and kissed him on the forehead. Sasori gently took Hidan from Deidara's arms and smiled, he SMILED, at Hidan.
"He's so small," Sasori said is awe, cradling the baby close to him. Hidan cuddled to Sasori and closed his eyes. Hidan was in the shirt he had on when the lady transformed him again. The shirt was too big, but it covered him.
"Everyone, we're going shopping," Itachi said. Everyone piled into the cargo van (thank Jashin Pain and Konan were gone) and left. Hidan was still sleeping happily in Sasori's arms. They arrived at a large mall.
"So what are we doing?" Zetsu asked, staring hungrily at Hidan. He wanted to eat the child right now.
"Sasori, Deidara, take Hidan and get him clothes. Tobi, Zetsu, Kakuzu, go get him food and diapers. Kisame and I will get a changing table and a few other things such as bottles and bibs," Itachi said. Everyone split up and went to buy what they were assigned to.
"Have him try this on un!" Deidara said to Sasori. He handed him a black pair of footed pajamas, which fit Hidan perfectly. Once they bought all of the clothes they needed for Hidan, they met up with the others. After they shopped a little while longer, they paid and headed home.
"I'm going to get Hidan dressed," Deidara said and carried Hidan to his bedroom. He put him in a diaper, some black sweatpants, and a black shirt. Eventually Hidan started to cry and Deidara carried him to Itachi.
"Shut up Hidan," Kakuzu muttered, reading a book.
"Give him here," Itachi muttered. He carried Hidan to the kitchen and got a bottle ready for him, and then he walked back into the living room. Deidara, Kisame, and Tobi were watching TV, Kakuzu and Zetsu were reading, and Sasori was building Hidan's crib.
"Sasori, I don't want to feed him and I think you're the only other one who knows how to feed a baby," Itachi said, handing Sasori Hidan and the bottle.
"Hey Hidan," Sasori said softly, smiling at the baby. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor with Hidan in his arms. He started to feed Hidan and Hidan happily drank. Once he was done drinking and Sasori took the bottle, he started to cry. Sasori put a small towel on his shoulder and burped Hidan, who threw up on the towel.
"Hey little guy, did Sasori Danna feed you to much un?" Deidara asked and took the crying baby from Sasori. Deidara made a miniature clay bird and exploded it, which made Hidan stop crying and giggle. "Art is a bang un," Deidara said, smirking at Sasori.
"Fool, art is eternal," Sasori growled, and then he continued to work on Hidan's crib. Deidara continued to make small explosions to make Hidan happy. He loved his art being appreciated. After awhile Kisame realized Hidan was sucking his thumb. He stood up and walked out of the room, he came back in 5 minutes later and took Hidan's thumb out of his mouth and put the pacifier he just got into Hidan's mouth. Hidan rested his head on Deidara's chest and let his tiny arms rest of either side of his head.
"He's falling asleep un, what do I do?" Deidara asked Itachi. Itachi looked at Deidara like he was an idiot.
"You're an idiot, let him sleep where he is," Itachi growled, staring at Deidara.
"Okay un," Deidara muttered unsurely. Sasori finished putting the crib together and began to paint it. He was painting it Akatsuki style! Black with red clouds!
"Tobi thinks Hidan-san looks cute!" Tobi said, taking a picture of Deidara holding Hidan. "He's so little! He's a cute baby!" Tobi chirped.