Avoiding Gaara had not been easy and I didn't know how long I could keep it up for either. The kiss was not the entire reason I been avoiding him. The real reason I have been avoiding him is ever since the kiss he has been so touchy feely with me...
Flashback (2 Days Ago)
Gaara was working on paperwork like usually at his desk while I sat on the couch like usually; however, if Temari hadn't duped me into being here I would have been tagging along with her today like I was the last three days. Being with her tired me out, I had no time to sleep when I was with her like I did when I was in Gaara's office. It wasn't like she was the reason I was tired I just didn't sleep at night, I couldn't anymore, the pills were ineffective now so if I slept I would have nightmares. The only place I didn't have nightmares was in Gaara's office or more precisely when he was near.
The moment she left me and Gaara alone an unbelievable tension fell over the room. I felt nervous and avoided looking at his face because I knew he was staring at me which only made me fidget even more. I started to play with my fingers to distract myself but it wasn't really working i could feel his eyes boring holes into my skin.
'I'll be right back' I said in my head, mocking her voice and I fell right for it like a moron, I should have known better. Should have known better was right, with all the questions she was asking me since they revolved around me and Gaara. She probably digging for information since she must have picked up on the tension between us, well, the tension was mostly on my end since the kiss had confused me. He had made it clear he had no interest in me so perhaps he was making fun of me but the kiss stirred up some really weird emotions in me that I have never felt before. I didn't want to feel anymore, Kohan was done with me and all that was left was for me to leave and disappear. A couple more months there will be the wedding and then I would fake my death. It was that simple.
I could go back to what I was, no more interactions, no more feelings, and back to nothingness. It was painful walking down this road, I didn't want to remember anymore, I wanted to forget and be left alone once more. Alone like before in the forest before that cursed woman showed up gifting me with my name and then destroying everything I was meant to protect. She tricked me and I could still feel that fire which burned that night consuming everything. All the lives that were lost because I was careless and easily deceived by a namuh. I would never be tricked by a namuh again. Ughh my head, it was beginning to throb painfully, so much blood, so much death.
I wished Silver Fang was here. He was lost like me back then, homeless and without purpose but then he found something filling the gap from when we had lost everything. He found something creating strange feelings in him from what I understood from back then. They seem to be like my own now...
"Come here" he commanded breaking me from my thought. I stopped fidgeting and glanced up at him when he said this, my head was still throbbing. When I looked at him I saw that he had propped his head up with one hand while his other hand motioned me to come to him like a dog. It angered me, I was no mongrel and I was no pet.
"I am not a dog" I snarled.
"I never thought that dogs listen better" he replied still beckoning me to come to him. His words infuriated me and I was about to make a malicious retort but he cut me off.
"Do you want me to come to you?" he asked and I knew then I had little choice but to comply. My options were going to him or for him come to me and if he came to me, I think it would be far worse then going to him. If only I could escape but my chakra was unstable or nonexistent when I was with him, which bothered me because I couldn't figure out the reason why. I thought it was the poison which caused it but it wasn't. My chakra issue would only be a problem when I left because he couldn't be near me when I faked my death otherwise my plan will fall through which would only cause problems for Kohan.
I ground my teeth together and stood up and walked to him, I felt like a dog going to its master but I would never have another master again. I had free will she taught me that. My head hurt so much as I stood in front of him, I just wanted to lie down and sleep. Why wouldn't he let me be, why wouldn't anyone let me be?
"Well?" I snapped at him, I just wanted the pain to go away and instead, of responding to me he pushed his chair out and turned it towards me. What was he doing?
"Sit here," he said patting his lap.
'What' I thought, he must be joking.
"I am not going -" I started to say before I was pulled into his lap.
"Stubborn" he sighed while wrapping one arm around my waist while he rested his chin in the junction of my neck. He exhaled deeply his breath tickling my ear causing me to shiver. The pain in my head was slowly disappearing, but why?
"What are you doing?" I said struggling to pry his arm off, I didn't understand him or anyone else. "Stop making fun of me. Anyway, Temari going to be right back so let go!" I screeched tugging at his arm that was wrapped around my waist. Namuhs always confused me, they say one thing and do another.
"You think I am making fun of you? he asked his free hand slowly snaking under my shirt. His fingers barely touching me danced across my skin making my stomach flutter. The pain in my head was now gone, did he know I was in pain and healed it. No, it wasn't possible, I was sure he didn't know I was in pain and I was sure he had no talent in medical jutsu.
"Isn't that what this is and the ki... kiss?" I stuttered, his fingers slowly traveled from caressing my sides to my stomach.
"I wasn't making fun of you" he sighed and he was about to speak again until his fingers brushed against my belly button ring. I felt him trace the outline of the ring, almost curiously as if he was unsure what the object was.
"What's this?" he asked whispering in my ear his finger tugging playfully at my belly button ring.
"A belly buttooon...ri..ng ring," I whimpered pitifully, my stomach now doing somersaults. Konah had given it to me.
"Mhhh, interesting," he said nipping my ear while his tongue darted out and skirted the shell of my ear. The feeling from last time was returning and it was even worse, I could feel that weird sound winding up my throat again.
"Ahhh" I moaned the noise finally spilling forth from my mouth. My reasoning and logic were slipping as my mind clouded over with these strange feeling he always aroused in me and my body. Of course, my body began to submit to his touches once more. I had to break free from this justu he used on me before it was to late and I yielded to him once again.
"Will you cut it out, I'm so sick of you and what you make me feel!" I snarled and pushed weakly at his arm attempting to remove it.
"Sick of me, well I can't have that can I?" he said while using the same arm and hand that was wrapped around my waist to turn my head towards his face. It was hard concentrating on his words, his fingers no longer playing with my belly ring lingered lower till they skimmed the edge of my pants."And what do I make you feel?" he asked his face inches from mine.
I tried to pull away but he had a firm grip on me and then he repeated his question, "What do I make you feel, Keiko?"
Even if I wanted to I couldn't look away, he held my face in place so I had to look him in the eyes which were staring so intently at my own eyes, he had such pretty eyes. I stared stupidly at him looking at how pretty his eyes were and also lost on how to describe these feelings I had and when I didn't answer him his fingers dipped past the waistband of my pants causing me to panic.
"Stop! What are you doing?" I gasped. I was confused, he hated me so why would he do this or was he doing this because he thought he was stuck with me and it was some sort of revenge? I was just so confused and my body was just accepting it refusing to listen to me once again. Unable to stop him I felt his fingers travel even lower and begin stroking me down there causing me to flinch from the sensation. No one had ever touched me there before.
"What are you doing?" I repeated but this time in the form of a whimper and moan, his fingers never ceasing their movement, their ministrations. I wanted to turn my head away but he wouldn't let me. I felt my eyes tearing up, his touches shouldn't feel good... they should feel bad. Namuhs always brought me pain either of the heart or body.
"Ahhh" I moaned loudly unable to hold back the strange sounds any longer. His fingers were rubbing a spot causing my body to heat up, stirring up another strange emotion within me. This new emotion that he stirred within me was a needy feeling, a feeling in which I wanted something but I didn't know what it was yet. He was driving me insane because I wanted to quench this need but I had yet grasped what I needed to do to quench it. I gripped his shirt in pure frustration my nails clawing through the fabric scratching his skin. All I knew I hated him so much but it was a different type of hate. I didn't understand these feelings at all.
His fingers kept rubbing me,"You're so wet," he groaned, his eyes never wavering from mine from what I could see through my tears. If he wanted revenge why did he look so desperate and what was he desperate for?
Without any warning, he slid one finger inside of me with a single thrust. I squeaked rather embarrassingly but this whole thing was embarrassing. I was a mess, strange and unintelligible noises and sounds kept bubbling up my throat, "Ewhhh..nahhh...aahhh". Something was building up in me and all I knew at that moment was that I needed more of him and I needed him deeper in me. I pushed my hips forward trying to push him deeper within me but was unable to, leading me to whine in frustration.
After hearing my desperate cry he instantly added another finger. This was a strange way to torture someone but I had very little room for thoughts as his fingers began to move again but this time faster. His fingers soon brushed up against something within me causing me to moan most wantonly, "Ahhh, ...More...Ahhh".
"More?" He asked his fingers going still within me. Why did the bastard stop?
I ignored him and tried to continue on my own. I tried desperately between grinding and rocking myself on his fingers but I was unable to create that same friction which only caused me to grow frustrated and annoyed. He seemed to be pleased by my frustration but it was too hard to tell since my tears blurred my vision. But I finally gave in hurting my pride, "Gaara, please..." I hiccupped while tears streamed down my face, I just hoped he would continue and not stop.
"Call my name some more and I'll continue," he demanded flexing his fingers within me, hitting that spot again.
"Gaara" I moaned for him still trying to ride his fingers trying to persuade him to continue. I yearned to quench that need and upon my moaning his name he quickly picked up where he left off plunging his fingers deeper and harder within me, hitting that spot over and over again. I didn't stop calling his name either afraid he would leave me with this terrible throbbing feeling with no way to soothe it. I didn't understand why he wanted me to call his name but as long as he didn't stop.
"Gaaraaaaa...ahhhh.. uawwwhh," I moaned. The strange noises continued to emit from my mouth along with his name every time his fingers moved in me. Their movement ignited a tingling sensation that pulsated through me every time they plunged back into me still bumping against that same spot. That tingling sensation eventually morphed into an unbearable itch and the itch was not unpleasant but very pleasurable feeling as long as he didn't stop.
How I wished I didn't need him to get rid of that unbearable itch and I was also sure he knew I needed him to that's why he seemed so pleased when I couldn't earlier... however the itch only seemed to grow.
"Ga...aara ... I feeeel reaaally str..nge" I moaned saliva dripping down my chin covering his hand which still held my face in place. I was so gross right now but it didn't seem to bother him in the slightest.
He rotated his fingers in a circular motion which only added to that strange pressure which had built up in the bottom of my gut from that terribly itchy feeling. Then something gave way and it felt like time itself had stopped my body spasming. Then blinding pleasure enveloped my entire being, my body clenched around his fingers, my legs automatically closing from the intense feeling. I felt like I was floating.
"Gaa...rrra" I gasped my body trying to inhale much-needed oxygen. The feeling had stolen my breath as well as my strength, my hands which were previously gripping his shirt fell to my sides. My body tingled all over and that awful itchy feeling had left me and I I felt oddly satisfied and content. I shouldn't feel content and I loathed myself for it, how could I let him do this to me. I sat there in his lap panting and also feeling completely humiliated, how did I let a namuh embarrass me like this and why him.
Then he slipped his fingers from me, "ahhhnn" I moaned my body shaking from the action. Everything was so sensitive down there and how could I forget that his fingers were still within me.
My body was still trembling, something wet and sticky leaked from me when he removed his fingers the substance coating the skin on my thighs. My breath was still shaky too and I watched as he brought the hand which fingers were just in me to his face his tongue swiping away white fluid that clung to them. I was tired and must be seeing things since that was dirty, right?
"That's dirty," I mumbled what I was thinking. Ignoring me as he licked his fingers clean, his eyes never wavering from my face. He confused me but I felt tired and I just wanted to sleep.
After he lapped his fingers clean he brought his face closer to mine, he was probably going to kiss me again. I didn't want him kissing me not when I felt like this, angry, confused, content, and happy. It was a strange mix of emotions but I couldn't escape his hold so I closed my eyes and accepted the inevitable. But he didn't do what I thought he was going to do. I opened my eyes, surprised by his action, he had kissed my cheek.
"Sleep" he commanded. I didn't understand him at all, his idea of revenge is twisted. I closed my eyes, I was just so tired.
"Next time when you are tired come here to sleep," he whispered and those were the last words I heard before a blanket of darkness engulfed me.
End of Flashback
Every time I was near him he would reach to touch me. A pat on the head every time he learns I behaved which meant I stayed within eyesight of either Kankuro or Temari. When I had to go out in public with him his hand would automatically wrap around my waist pulling me to his side. At dinner, his hands would end up on my thigh in which I would try to push it away without causing a scene.
I was confused by his actions and had to look into it more. I found something in a book that described a similar thing in which he did to me in his office. The book described something called love and desire. Although I never been in love I knew he definitely didn't love me and he definitely didn't desire me as I glanced up at my reflection in the store's window. There was nothing desirable about me, not like how the men desired that beautiful female in the book. I did not have any of the traits that a desirable woman had as I stared at my reflection.
So what was his reason for touching me?...
"Keiko!" Temari yelled causing me to look in her direction and also pulling me from my thoughts. She was running towards me with a bunch of shopping bags. I put the book down on the table before she reached me.
"I thought I lost you!" she said shouted in the distance. "Gaara would have been so mad at me," she said panting when she got up next to me.
"I'm not a child," I said annoyed. Why did he care what I did, he said he didn't care what I did as long as it didn't affect him. Namuhs are strange creatures.
"We know that but you're still new here and your injuries just healed," she said while peering over at the books I was just looking at.
"You like to read, Keiko?" she asked.
"No..." I responded putting my hands out offering to take some of her bags. I couldn't remember if I liked to read so I couldn't answer yes.
"No no no, you may have just healed but I'm not getting in trouble with Gaara if you over exert yourself." She told me.
"But" I began to say.
"No" she cut me off.
"Anyway, we got to go find a present for Gaara's birthday. Do you know what you are giving him?" she asked starting to walk away from the bookstore.
"No..." I said. I was still thinking about that book, Icha icha Paradaisu. I wanted to read the second book, the story was actually good. It explained a lot of things I didn't know about and maybe it would provide me an answer about what Gaara was thinking because my current belief was he wanted revenge on me; however, there may be more to it than what I original thought. Or even if that book failed to give me an answer then maybe another book would.
"Keiko, are you okay?" Temari asked.
"Yes, why?" I asked.
"You just sighed out loud." she said.
'Did I? It must be the lack of sleep again' I thought to myself.
"I just don't know what to get your brother that's all," I said lying.
"No, worries we will pick out the perfect gift for him," she said cheerfully. The perfect gift, I didn't even know him but even without knowing him I never bought a gift for anyone before.
'A birthday party huh?' I thought to myself, the definition of birthday in the book said a birthday is the anniversary of the day on which a person was born, typically treated as an occasion for celebration and the giving of gifts.
Third Person's POV
Gaara was working on his paperwork until an irritable sigh escaped his lips. He put the pen down on the desk deciding to give himself a short break from work, he was extremely annoyed Keiko was avoiding him again. He looked over at the couch she always sat or slept on, he missed her presence. He would have never have taken a break from work but he couldn't concentrate on it at all. Another sigh escaped him as he stared at the couch.
Shukaku had become restless to since she been absent, the demon wanted him to drag her back here so she could be by their side. He also had to listen to all the things Shukaku wanted him to do to her, and two days ago he almost gave in to the temptation and took her. She was so ready for him moaning wantonly begging for more but he had to take it slowly until she came looking for him. He had to wait patiently but how long could he wait for her.
A slight knock at the door before Kankuro came in probably to report something to him. He started to talk again about the Chunin exams again.
"Gaara what do you think?" he asked.
"Your advice worked but now she avoiding me," Gaara said before he got up. "I have somewhere to be so if you can excuse me," he said before walking past Kankuro.
"Wait. What?" Kankuro said confused. "Were you even listening to me?" he asked turning around but Gaara never answered him before walking out of the office. Kankuro thought for a moment registering his brother's words.
"Gaara you can't tell me that and walk out. I need to know what I told you which really work," he yelled still in the office.