Disclaimer: I do not own Psych.
"Ho-Ho-"
"Shut it Spencer."
"Wow, Santa. Have you checked recently if you're on the naughty list?" Lassiter glared at Shawn as they both pulled down boxes.
The Santa sack they were looking for had apparently gone missing in all of the SBPD stuff. Someone in the department must have thought it was one of the decorations for the department and placed it in a Christmas box. Too bad, Chief Vick liked Christmas. There were too many boxes to easily find the sack.
"Where the hell did they put it?" Lassiter said as he dove his hand into one box and shuffled through its contents.
Juliet shoved another box to the side. She too was finding nothing. "Maybe Chief moved it…"
"To where? Next Christmas?" Lassiter grumbled again. This case was taking too long to solve. With their luck they were having, it probably wouldn't be Christmas eve until they solved this case.
"Shawn, is this it?" a voice said backing out of one of the department's closet.
Shawn grinned and went to reach for the sack. "Dancer. Awesome work."
"Shawn, I'm not Dancer," said Gus, holding the sack above Shawn's head as he tried to jump up and down for it.
"Fine. Who do you want to be?"
As Gus thought for a minute, Lassiter took this as an opportune moment and lunged for the bag.
"Woah. Not cool Lassie."
Lassie smiled at a put out Shawn and Gus. "Santa trumps over Rudolph and his little reindeer friends."
He brought the sack over to the table and dumped its content. Four packages fell out.
"Ohhh Santa, is one of those for me?" Shawn edged closer to the table and picked one of the gifts and began to examine it.
"This is for Ginny." Shawn said.
Lassiter snorted. "Did you get a psychic vision telling you?"
"Nooo... Lassie, ever hear of name tags on gifts? Clearly not." He tossed the package to Lassiter and picked up the next one.
Lassiter took the Ginny present in his hands and started to unwrap it carefully. Inside was a toy hamster.
"What is this?"
Gus leaned over Lassiter to examine the present. "It's a Zhu Zhu hamster. Very popular this Christmas season."
"Dude. Seriously, why do you know this? Do you know of any kids?" said Shawn poking the packaging. "Does it do anything?"
"It's a robotic hamster. Actually they have been recalled due to high amount of toxic element antimony. It was in the Santa Barabara Times." Said Juliet.
The three men looked at Juliet. "Why do you know this?" said Gus.
"I have nephews. They wanted them, well until they saw the new Fifa 2009 game for XBOX."
"Right." Said Lassiter still looking at the package. "Is it really dangerous? I'm having it tested. Just in case." He put it to the side and picked up the next one.
"To Mrs. Richards." He gave it to Juliet. "Your turn."
Juliet unwrapped it carefully to find a mixer. "Great. It looks normal."
"O'Hara put it on the table and Spencer, after she does that, plug it in."
Juliet placed the mixer on the table and Shawn plugged it in. They all looked at the appliance as it sputtered sparks and shot of its mixing handles. It just missed Gus who had ducked out of the way.
"Not an ideal Christmas gift. Might be why I don't ask for appliances, just in case you know…. they spark and combust on site," said Shawn.
"Or maybe it's because the appliance wouldn't get used. You don't make food, Shawn."
"I can make a mean pineapple upside down cake."
"Yeah with an easy bake oven. Alert all the girl scouts in the area getting ready for a bake off." Gus grinned as Shawn was just about to retort. Lassiter interrupted it from happening.
"Spencer why don't you do the honors? Take the next gift."
"To Mr. Richards." Shawn unwrapped it. It was a bottle of wine.
"Lame." declared Shawn, reaching for the next package. Gus glared at him. "Shawn wait."
"Fine. You scrooge."
Juliet took the bottle from Shawn. "I'll get it tested along with the toy hamster." Lassiter nodded in agreement as he took the last package.
"To Johnny." He unwrapped it. It was an alarm clock.
Shawn looked at the package. "Really? A clock? Gus never get me a clock for a Christmas it would be an insult. Especially when they have those little hands on it."
"I hear that. It would be an insult to me. It would be a waste of a gift because you always ask me what time it is."
"No. I only ask you when it has the little hands on it. My iphone, thank you very much tells me the time with those little dots."
"You mean digital v. analog."
"What? Gus just think, dots v. little hands."
Juliet ignored the antics, looked at the clock package and asked Lassiter. "Are you sure it's just an alarm clock?"
Lassiter shook his head as he took the alarm clock out of the box and examined it. "No."
Shawn rolled his eyes. "Is it a bomb Lassie? Because you know Santa likes to give kids presents that are bombs."
Lassiter looked at his partner and then at the annoying psychic and the pharmaceutical rep. "This isn't a normal Santa. Remember he's the crazy one." He took the alarm clock, flipped it over and pointed to its wiring.
Shawn looked at the wiring. "So it's not a lame present. It's explosive." Shawn chuckled at his bad joke while Juliet and Gus just looked at him. "Get it? Guys, it's a bomb so it's explosive."
"We get it Shawn."