Your Name Forever The Last On My Lips.
Okay guys! So, before we go any further, I decided to take down my Monchele story because I realized why I never write about real people and its disrespectful and someone made me realize it so I took it down, I am sorry to the ones that liked it.
On to the story! Thank you so much for the support on this one. Things are about to get a bit hard for Finchel.
Dedicated to Cory and I apologize for insulting the amazing person you forever will be in my heart.
I don't own Glee, just my desire to put frustraions into words!
Chapter 10: just hold my hand
Rachel is the first person Finn sees when he wakes up. He is a little light headed, but nothing too bad, it takes him a minute to comprehend where he is. Oh right, the hospital, he was in an accident. Rachel is pregnant. Crap. She's pregnant.
"Finn?" His wife's voice is quiet. "Hey sleepyhead, how are you feeling?" The anesthesia is gone and he's fully aware of his surroundings.
"Hey" he's not back in his room, still in recovery, Cutler had told Rachel it would take a while. "I feel as if I had been hit by a truck while being hammered" Rachel doesn't find this funny. Still, she lets it go.
"I see you are awake" Amelia has come to check on him. "Nice to see your sense of humor is still intact"
"Believe sometimes, he isn't that funny, specially when he jokes about things like near death experiences." Rachel squeezes his hand.
"Who said I was trying to be funny?" Finn gives her a half smile.
"You're incorrigible" Rachel groans.
"You love me anyways." Finn moves his head a bit to kiss her lips. Amelia smiles.
"Seriously guys, If I find someone to love me as much as the two of you love each other." Finn and Rachel share a sweet glance. "We'll take you to your room now Finn, the doctor will be there to talk to you soon."
The room isn't empty when they arrive. Sam has finally made an appearance and is holding Perry in his arms as the rest of New Directions errupt in cheers. Finn is glad for the noise but Rachel shushes them.
"Daddy!" Hannah is jumping to Finn's arm the moment she's allowed to. "Did it hurt?"
"Not really but I feel funny" Finn whispers and Puck catches on.
"You're probably still high" Hannah shoots him a curious glance. Finn rolls his eyes.
"What does that mean daddy?" Finn is searching for Rachel but she's already telling Puck to shut up and everyone laughs.
"Hey man, you didn't have to come all the way here" Finn tells Sam as he hands him a sleeping Perry.
"I did, I'm sorry I wasn't here for the whole thing thou" Sam smiles. "Rachel told me the good news" the wink.
"To tell you the truth I'm freaking out, I'm barely out of changing diapers"
"It can't be that bad, I've changed diapers too."
"Tell that to my wife. She thinks I'm a diaper changing machine or something" oh, Rachel heard him. Her glance is not nice. Hannah is now cuddled against Finn too, despite of all the noise this last week have been too much for her too.
"Brother coming trough, move people!" Kurt shoves everyone out of the way, he sits by the feet of the bed. Finn offers him a smile. "You don't know how happy I am to see you didn't make me a guardian before time" Finn frowns.
"Yeah but what about Rach, she'd still be here"
"It doesn't matter, you're okay" Kurt moves to hug him. "Now when is the doctor coming, I have so many questions."
"I think after the doctor comes, we should take those two home" Blaine comes behind Kurt. He points to the kids.
"You know I came so close to not seeing them again and I just.."
"Don't get so sentimental on me Hudson" Santana snaps. "You're okay, so that's that" Finn smirked. "And well your wifey there made promise I'll baby sit you for a while, so I'm no softy." Finn glances over at Rachel. He didn't need a babysitter. "Wait.."
Cutler is at the door with Carole and Burt in tow. Burt whistles to get everyone's attention.
"I understand you're all here for Finn, but I really need a moment alone. You can choose who stays or who goes." He's serious. Finn is starting to her a little jumpy. Even tough the anesthesia is gone, some of the other drugs are not and he still can't feel his legs.
Finally, Carole, Burt, Kurt, Mercedes and Mr. Shue are left. And of course Rachel.
"So Finn" Cutler says slowly. "You're test results are back"
Finn feels Rachel tense next to him, squeezing his hand. Carole is holding he other one. "I wish I had better news"
"Wait" Burt says too quickly, before everyone can process his words. "You're not telling me my kid is paralyzed, are you?"
"Dad.." Kurt's voice seems more like a cry.
"Listen, were able to repair the damage" Burt is about to stop him again but cutler raises his hand to silence him. "But it's not that simple, there were some complications during surgery which I had to take into account" Finn's blood is boiling. He's feeling dizzy again. Rachel for one, hasn't even blinked.
"What I'm trying to say is.."
"Just say it" Finn is calm but not for long as he catches a glimpse of Rachel's baby bump. "Just say what you have to say!"
"Finn" Carole is squeezing his hand. "Honey, he just..."
"Listen Finn, there's no easy way to say this, but yes, while you might be paralyzed from the waist down the feeling of your legs will come back soon enough but..." Oh God, Rachel wanted to die. "You're condition isn't permanent"
"Why the hell would you say that then?!" It's Mercedes who surprises everyone. Mr Shue is looking at Finn and Rachel. He can't talk.
"Because, Finn will have a long way ahead of him before he can walk again."
The next they know, it's Rachel collapsing.
She opens her eyes a moment later. Thankfully, she had been siting.
"Rachel, I need you to follow my finger" she does, but she's too tired. "Amelia, I want you to take Rachel's blood pressure please and find her something to eat." Finn looks at her terrified.
"Is she? Is the baby okay?" Screw this, he doesn't care about him, his family it's what matters.
Next thing he knows, they are dragging Rachel out of the room. Mercedes and Kurt behind her. The others outside the room are confused.
"Finn" Dr. Cutler is cut off by a harsh response.
"What are my options. "Another surgery?"
"I'm afraid not"
"There's got to be something we can do, he's just a kid" Shue says, he's in the verge of crying. Carole tries to stay calm but Finn knows she's crying.
"Therapy" Cutler says. "Hard work, that's what is there to do" Finn looks up at him helplessly.
"How long?" Burt asks.
"Depends, this things vary with every patient, could be months, longer"
"Like all the rest of my life?" Finn doesn't recognize his voice.
"I don't know Finn"
The hell he doesn't know! Isn't he supposed to be a doctor and give answers?
So everyone goes crazy from there. Rachel comes back with Amelia and she tells Finn she's a bit low on sugar so she has to eat. Finn is terrified by the prospect of losing his child or seeing Rachel get sick. Kurt promises he'll get the best doctors in the city to give a second opinion.
For a moment it's just them in the room. Finn is feeding Rachel some chocolate pudding. "See? Chocolate is good, the baby likes it." Rachel giggles, they're both on Finn's bed, cuddled against each other, Finn is rubbing her belly.
"She's the size of a peanut Finn." He gives her a boyish smile.
"Yeah but we made that peanut."
"You're a dork." He crashes his lips against hers. Their tongues soon engage in a battle. "I love you" she says as soon as they beak the kiss. She has her hand on his cheek. His hand hasn't moved from her stomach. They still haven't talked about what the doctor said. Neither of them want to get into that yet. It's just like there's not a problem to worry about. "Hey guys" it's Artie. Finn has seen him since he woke up, but there are too many people here to even keep track. "How are you feeling man?" Oh great. "Listen if this is a bad time.."
"No" Rachel squirms from Finn's embrace. He pouts at the loss of contact. "I'll leave you guys to have a boys talk" Rachel kisses Finn's cheek. "I have to get the kids ready to go home anyway"
"Rach"
"I'll be right here babe" She closes the door behind her.
"So.." Finn says. "How's LA? We haven't really talked since all of this happened.."
"Yeah, well, it's going great. I might be working with some pretty big people next summer, although I can't say who. It's kind of a secret." Artie smiles. "I've got a girl too, we've haven't gone out long but, I really like her"
"That's great dude"
"You're depressed" it's not a question. "I get it you know? I've been there, you can talk to me."
"I don't know Artie" Finn bits his lip. He doesn't want to tell him how miserable he feels. How scared. How useless. He's afraid to tell him. He's so sorry for himself. "Do you really want to know?"
"Lay it on me man" Artie rolls closer to the bed.
" I feel like crap" there. He said it, he's afraid to say anything because he doesn't want to hurt Rachel. "I feel like, my kids and Rachel, they are now stuck with me"
"Finn, they love you" Artie smiles. "You're still you, just a bit shorter." This makes his friend smile.
"I don't know what to do" Finn admits. "I just knocked Rachel up and.."
"Got her pregnant.." Artie said calmly. "Listen Finn, I know this hurts right now and you feel so powerless, but you are not, you're someone people look up to, you got married at 18 and somehow made it work with a baby, you got help for those kids at your studio, all the kids you teach, they love you. Have you seen the way your daughter and Rachel look at you man? You're their hero, and you should be proud of that, the wheelchair? Paralysis? They're just part of you now but they don't define you, you are still Finn Hudson, the guy that got me out of trouble and helped me join the football team." Finn's head was spinning. Artie was right, he was alive, he had stuff to look forward to.
"How do you do it?" True, Artie didn't have kids, but he wanted to, he wanted to be as normal as anyone. But how?
"I just take it one day at a time"
One day at a time. He still hasn't talked to Rachel about his insecurities, he's still a few days away from being released from the hospital when his brand new wheelchair arrives, it's aerodynamic or something and titanium. Very resistant. It's a gift from New Directions and Mr. Shue. Santana jokes Finchel will have a great time trying out, but it doesn't put him at ease. It makes him more nervous.
Kurt gushes about how his grateful they had installed an elevator in their building years prior because of an old couple who had lived there. Mrs. Morris still does. Then Finn is sure Kurt is going to drive him crazy with the therapist thing. He and Blaine will be interviewing people as soon as he leaves the hospital. Then he finds out about something that finally breaks him.
He was watching tv with the kids in his room when Rach comes over and joins them.
"Is it any good?" Rachel snatched the remote from him. "Hannah, why don't you and Perry go look for grandpa Burt? This is really important. Hannah was like a soldier on a mission as she dragged her brother along. "Rach? What's wrong? Is it the baby?" God no, but if Rachel knew her husband and she did, this would set Finn off.
"No, she's fine" it's not a girl yet, they have to wait a few weeks. "It's about us"
"Rachel are you breaking up with me?" He's joking because he knows she's serious.
"Shut up and listen...so, our parents did something.."
"What kind of something?" Oh now he's worried.
They have finally told her their plan to buy their apartment, as far as Rachel was concerned. He wasn't selling and they've been living there for seven years or so.
"No, we actually talked to him about your situation." Leroy said. He eyed his husband.
"Yes"
"What situation?" They had money, more than Rachel was ready to admit to her dads. She had made good money these last couple years and well some of it had gone to the studio, but still. She's successful. She didn't need them, not where money is concerned, and she's a grown woman, plus Finn wasn't going to like it.
"We've bought the apartment" Burt said. Carole looked ashamed,like she knew Finn would flip out, he didn't take pity on anyone. "For you to rent or sell or whatever,,"
"You're going to need a bigger place once that baby is born, and plus you can find some place where Finn is more comfortable" Hiram said. Rachel couldn't believe this. She loved them for their noble actions, but didn't they believe in Finn?
"He's not going to like it"
"I know honey, but we thought you kids needed some financial stability.." Carole was the most distraught.
"Yeah since you won't be working as much when you start showing." Her dad said. Leroy smiled. "This is a good thing Rachel, it will work"
"Listen to yourselves!" She hissed. "Although I deeply appreciate what you're trying to do, I can't accept it, I know it will bring Finn down and I don't need that right now, he doesn't need that."
Finn is pale, worst than usual. "Finn?"
"They think I'm a cripple?" That's a sensitive word. He's not used to it. "That I can't even take care of my family now?"
"That was not their intention" Rachel is trying to do damage control.
"Even my parents think I'm useless"
"Babe don't talk like that, we'll figure out things as we go, okay?" Rachel is grabbing his face.
"Have you really thought of how exactly are we going to do this? How we're going to make this work?"
She doesn't have an answer. "That's what I thought" he pulls away from her.
So this is going to be harder on Finn than we thought it would. He's very insecure about taking care of his family now, but we'll have to see how it goes, plus he receives a news that might just drag him into depression.
Thanks again for reading and remember, reviews make a writer smile. :)