The company reveled in the new day. After all the rain, the sky cleared and the sun rose to dry out land, dwarf and hobbit. Meta changed her clothes and did her best to dry everything out by hanging it over Baru's neck piece by piece. The little pony wasn't happy, but he didn't protest too much.

They slowly climbed into the rugged hills along a narrow track. Meta's bones ached with the constant lurch and roll in the saddle. Finally as the sun went down, Thorin called for them to stop and set up camp. There was a little glade with a small stream that looked promising.

Meta slumped down on a log still holding Baru's reins. The pony shuffled his feet and nudged her shoulder repeatedly. 'Stop it, Baru. It's been a long day for me, too.' She absentmindedly rubbed his nose and hummed a little tune to soothe him. It didn't work. He continued to yank at the reins and skitter around her. Finally she gave in to his demands and stood up. However, even after his saddle and packs were off, the pony seemed anxious.

'What is the matter, Baru? You are usually such a good boy!' She noticed that his nostrils were flaring as he jerked his head up and down. She tied him to a branch and walked out and away from the rest of the group. Tilting her head back, she took in a deep breath and then another. Perhaps she was being influenced by Baru, but she thought she detected just a hint of a foul scent in the air. She walked even further into the surrounding wood and tested the air again.

Returning to the campsite, she found Thorin and Balin. Gandalf was nowhere to be seen. Too bad, she would have liked his opinion. 'My lord, er, Thorin,' she remembered to drop the title, 'I don't think we should stay here. Baru is nervous, and there is an odor hanging over the trees that disturbs me.'

Thorin might have paid attention to her warning, but she made the mistake of speaking the pony's name. It immediately put him in a contrary mood. 'A smell? You want us to move on after a long day because of a smell and a pony?' he scoffed. 'I know dwarf-women have a better sense of smell than we feeble men, but I will not move a camp because you don't like a smell!'

Meta stared at him. 'I have no idea what you mean about a better sense of smell. All I know is that the animal is restless and something doesn't seem right. Why don't we move on before everyone gets too settled?' she tried one last time.

Thorin turned to Balin. 'What do you think, old boy? Should we make everyone pack up and move on again because of a noxious smell?' Meta heard the sneer in his voice.

Balin snorted. 'If I moved every time something smelled bad, I would never get to rest. Someone probably needs a bath, Meta. Go back and help set up camp. What could possibly be lurking out in this empty land?'

Defeated, Meta went back to Baru. She led him as far away from the camp as she dared. He was still edgy but seemed a bit better. 'I trust you, Baru. There is something here that I don't like, but we can't go off on our own.' She took out her bedroll and when the food was ready, brought her share back and sat with the pony to eat.

Baru finally settled into a light doze. Meta realized that the wind had shifted and the pony no longer was picking up the disturbing scent. The others had gathered around the fire to smoke and belch. Meta appreciated neither so she did not join them. She sat and thought about the wind direction earlier in the evening and where it was now. Thinking it was probably a stupid thing to do, she began to walk in the direction that she thought the smell came from.

One of Bilbo's claims to fame was his ability to walk quietly and be all but invisible. Meta didn't have the invisible part down, but she was good at quiet. Slipping among the trees, she worked extra hard at being silent. She began to see signs of one or more large 'somethings' having crashed recklessly through the woods. She came out onto a path. Bushes were squashed and tree limbs broken off along an area perpendicular to her current route. The smell had grown in intensity. It reminded her of meat well past its prime. Her nose twitched as a particularly fetid wave wafted past her.

'The smart thing to do would be to turn around and go belch with the company,' she said to herself. However, she was peeved that Thorin had ignored her warning and wanted to prove to him (and to herself) that something (or a few somethings) was out here. She turned to her right and followed the path staying just off of it under the cover of the trees.

The path grew wider and more crushed as she went, but she still did not see another living creature. She stopped. That in itself was a warning. At this time in the evening, she should be able to hear the rustling and scurrying of forest animals either coming out for the night or returning home. Instead the silence was complete. It was as though everything was waiting and holding its collective breath in the face of danger. Once again she argued with herself to turn back, but she slowly continued on.

At last the path ended at a cliff face. Bushes covered much of it, but the track led through them. Meta slithered up to the rock face and began to edge along it. The dark was now complete and her only light came from the moon. It was still as silent as a grave in the forest which she saw as a good sign. Whoever made the path most likely did not move quietly. Her hand led her along the wall and suddenly it felt an opening. Ever so slowly she peered around the frame of a stout wooden door which stood slightly ajar.

'You are the stupidest dwarf in Middle-earth, Meta,' she scolded. 'Turn around and go tell the others what you found!' half of her said. The other half ignored her and continued on. She was reassured by a lack of light coming through the door. Of course, this meant that it would be very hard for her to see anything. Fortunately for foolish adventure, she saw a small lantern hanging from a hook on the door. She lit it with her flint and used her body to shield its pleasant glow. Keeping it turned low, she walked through the door.

Her heart beat rapidly in her chest. She nearly gagged at the stench. The smell had been gradually growing more intense as she neared the door, but once she went through it the odor was almost overpowering. It was so strong her eyes watered. 'That's it, I'm done,' she said. And that would have been the case except the lantern's light fell across something a bit further in that gleamed and glittered in its wan light.

Meta was a dwarf and Meta was a jeweler and Meta could be as greedy as either of those two people. Now they were merged into one individual. She quickly looked behind her and still saw no sign of anyone. 'I'll just see what that one little gleam is, and then I'll go.' She took a few steps into the cavern and was soon looking down into a bowl filled with pieces of fine but dirty jewelry.

Throwing caution to the wind, she turned up the lantern so she could see better. Even though the cavern stank, she sucked in a deep breath in amazement. This was fine Elven jewelry and it was very old! Choking once more on the stench, she picked up a pin. It was a flower design with tendrils that swirled and curled around it in the most amazing way. White jewels large and small were interwoven with the fine metalwork. She tucked it quickly into her pocket followed by the rest and almost turned to leave. 'What if there is more like that one further in?' the naughty voice asked.

'You still don't know what lives here, Meta,' the good voice said. 'Take your treasure and go!' The naughty voice won the argument and Meta took several more steps into the room. Her foot came down on something that crunched underfoot. She shone the lantern on the floor to light her way and nearly wet herself. Bones, bones and more bones covered the floor. From where she stood, they stretched into the dark. 'Run!' said the two voices and Meta's body agreed. She turned and ran back to the door.

'Light!' yelled one of the voices and she doused the lantern before she went back outside. Running as quickly as she could Meta retraced her steps this time down the middle of the path to save time and because it was quieter than crashing through the undergrowth in the dark. Luck was with her and she found the place where she had joined the path originally. Finally she realized she was almost to the campsite and paused to catch her breath. She didn't want the others to think she was in a panic.

Somewhat recovered, she pushed through the last of the shrubbery and was all prepared to say, 'See I told you so!' but there was no one there. The fire had burned down but was still producing a decent flame. The various bedrolls were lying in the usual place and the dinner plates had not been scrubbed yet. It was as if the entire party had suddenly gotten up and went for a stroll.

Meta stood and assessed the situation. She realized that while no one had been in the cavern, that didn't mean they hadn't been somewhere nearby. Lighting a torch, she searched the area to see if there were any signs of a fight but there were none. However, she could see where it looked like several people had pushed into the undergrowth. It wasn't a well worn path, but it headed towards the general area that she had just returned from.

'Now what?' she asked the voices. 'Wait for them to come back or follow?' Whatever lives in that cavern will not hesitate to kill them all. You better follow,' the voices were in agreement for once. 'I was afraid you would say that,' Meta said. Holding the torch low to the ground so it wasn't too obvious, she started down the faint path.

After a brief hike, a booming voice warned her to snuff the torch. A short distance ahead, she caught a glimpse of a fire through the trees. Not one but several voices were talking and making no attempt to hide. Before she could creep any closer, a small voice whispered, 'Meta! Thank goodness you're here!'

For the second time in one evening, Meta almost wet her pants. 'Bilbo, you scared me half to death! What is going on? Where is everyone?' she hissed.

'Trolls. There are three trolls and they have got the company all bagged up and ready for dinner,' Bilbo said sadly. 'It's all my fault. I'm not a good enough burglar.'

'No time for blame, Mr. Baggins. We have to think of something. Tell me exactly what happened.'

Bilbo told her about seeing a light and being sent to investigate. 'If I had only gone back and not tried to steal something, this wouldn't have happened,' he moaned. 'I told them I'm not a burglar!'

If it hadn't been such a serious situation, Meta would have laughed at his mournful tone. 'Well, the important thing now is to delay dinner,' she said. 'You said they aren't very bright?'

'Kind of stupid if you ask me. They keep getting in each other's way and arguing. Otherwise, they would have cooked somebody by now!' Bilbo told her.

'Do you remember the song I taught you the other day? The nonsense song?' Meta asked.

Bilbo smiled into the dark. 'I love that song! Yes, I remember it quite well. The Shire folk will love it when I teach it to them,' he paused, 'if I ever get back, anyway.'

Meta took him by the shoulders. 'You'll get back. Now, here is what we are going to do….'

Thorin was angry. Angry at that dratted wizard who had disappeared, angry at that dratted hobbit who had disappeared and angry at himself for being tied up in a sack waiting to be eaten. Meta had tried to warn him, but he had dismissed her without a second thought. Come to think of it, maybe he needed to be angry at her too. As far as he could tell, she had disappeared also.

The three trolls were busy setting up a pot, conveniently dwarf-sized. It did not bode well for Thorin ever seeing Erebor again. Or anything else! They took turns adding buckets of water and mentioning various cooking methods. Even as the one called Bert picked up Dori, removed his sack and starting stripping his clothes off, a sweet feminine voice began to sing at the edge of the clearing.

Oh, I was born one night one morn' when the whistle went toot toot,

You can fry a cake and bake a steak when the mud pies are in bloom!

Does six and six make nine? Does ice grow on a vine?

And is sad sack Moe a pesky foe in the good old summertime?'

The trolls' heads came up from their labors and they stared at each other. 'Whuh's that, Bert?' asked the one named Tom.

Bert snarled, 'More pesky dwarves. There must be a right big nest of 'em out here. Them and the burrahobbits. Bill, go and get it.'

Bill reluctantly moved toward the voice, but as soon as he took a step, the voice sang out from the other side of the glade.

Oh, loopty, loop and noodle soup and give your socks a shine,

I'm guilty judge I stole the fudge, three cheers for old man time!

'That don't make no sense, Bert,' Tom said. 'Songs is supposed to tell stories. How can you shine your socks or fry a cake?'

'It don't matter, Tom. Help Bill find that dratted singer and get it in the pot!' Bert commanded. He had put Dori back half undressed into his sack. He strode confidently in the direction of the song but now it came from another direction.

I cannot tell a lie, I hocked an apple pie,

Twas on a tree beneath the sea,

Above the clear blue sky!

The voices taunted and moved around the fire, first in one place and then another. The dwarves stopped trying to follow the sound because it was making them dizzy trying to keep up. It seemed to go on for hours.

At last all three trolls began to flail among the bushes. The little voice moved swiftly from side to side in rapid verses. The dwarves watched it all in amazement. They could tell it was two different voices, but the trolls were convinced that it was only one and that it was using magic.

'Be careful, boys,' Bert warned. 'If it can move like that, who knows what else it'll do. Wouldn't want to get changed into somethin' unnatural now would ya?' He made a mighty lunge into a bush and came up with a struggling Bilbo in his hand. 'Gotcha! Knew it was the burrahobbit. Into the pot with you, clothes and all!' He suspended the squirming hobbit over the steaming pot.

'Oh, please don't cook me!' Bilbo squealed. 'Hobbits are too tough and chewy!'

Bert grinned and said, 'Don't care what ya taste like at this point. I just want to shut you up!' Bilbo pulled his toes back from the hot water as Bert lowered him down.

The voice broke out in the woods again in a slightly more desperate tone.

If geese's eggs don't shave their legs, then they shall all be ducks.

I'd rather buy a lemon pie for forty-seven bucks.

Tom made a leap toward the voice and slithered face first into a pile of vines. A struggle broke out and leaves and twigs exploded upward. The voice screamed and swore. 'Let me go, you big oaf!'

Tom screeched in pain but didn't let go. He stood up and hoisted Meta in the air by her foot in triumph. 'Look what I got, Bert! It's a girl!'

Bert yanked Bilbo away from the pot and lurched over to see the new prize. Bill joined in as they examined her. 'Aren't ladies supposed to be nice and tender?' Tom asked.

'Watch out!' Bill yelled as Meta twisted herself up and bit Tom's wrist.

Tom flung her away and yowled in pain. Bilbo wriggled in Bert's grasp and was dropped on his head for his effort. Bill bent over to recapture Meta but it was too late. A voice boomed out, 'Dawn take you all, and be stone to you!' The sun's first rays broke over the horizon and shone upon the startled trolls. With various looks of stunned fear and surprise, the trolls turned into stone.

Gandalf walked into the clearing and surveyed the scene. The dwarves were in sacks, Bilbo was whimpering in pain and Meta was picking leaves out of her hair. He bent down and started untying sacks. 'I leave you alone for a few hours and this is what I return to!'

Thorin pulled his sack off and snarled, 'And where exactly did you go? We could have used a little help.'

Gandalf laughed. 'Oh, I don't know about that. You seem to be in fairly competent and entertaining hands.' He reached over and pulled Bilbo to his feet and then went over to assist Meta. 'I could not have done better myself.'

'And just where did you go?' Thorin asked Gandalf again when he was free of his sack.

Gandalf smiled and said, 'I was surveying our road ahead. Perhaps I should have paid more attention to what lay behind.'

Unsatisfied, Thorin turned on Meta next. 'And you! What happened to you?'

Meta only stared at him and combed the last of the leaves from her hair. 'I told you there was something wrong here, but you wouldn't listen. I went to find out if I was right and I was! There is a cave not far from here that may be of interest to everyone.' She stood up and started pushing her way through the dwarves.

Gandalf, Thorin and the rest followed behind. There was a well-worn path leading from the fire pit to the cave. 'Congratulations, Thorin! Even before you regain Erebor it looks like you are the owner of a troll hoard!' Gandalf said as he peered into the door. 'Of course, you will have to climb over a few of their victims to collect it.'

Nothing motivates a dwarf to face dirty work like the reward of gold. Meta barely managed to maintain her place in front. 'I found it! Don't you dare try and trample me!' she exclaimed as Nori and Dori tried to push past her.

'Stop it!' Thorin shouted. 'Meta's right. She found it so she can go first.' He gallantly stood aside and waved her ahead. This was in part a matter of honor, but he also had gotten a good whiff of the stench from inside and was in no hurry to venture inside.

Remembering the gleams she had seen further in, Meta took a deep breath and ignored the bones under foot. She headed into the deeper recesses of the stinking hoard to see what she could find. The other dwarves followed and were soon engrossed in scooping up the gold coins scattered across the ground and exploring various boxes and cupboards. Meta's daring was rewarded when she found that the gleam had come from a collection of loose gems! Knowing that she would not be able to take everything, she swiftly sorted them and slipped the best ones into her pockets. A few more beautiful pieces of jewelry found their way into them also.

The rest she gathered into a pile and sighed with regret at not being able to bring them along. When she turned around to head out for some fresh air, she saw that the others were digging a hole to hide the loot. 'What a wonderful idea!' She quickly located a small chest and filled it with her extra treasures. Picking it up, she approached the diggers one of which was Bofur. 'Do I need a hole of my own or can I borrow some of yours?' she asked.

Nori looked up from his half of the hole and remembered how she cut him off at the door. 'Dig your own hole, missy. This one's mine!' he groused and returned to his labors.

'Not so fast, Nori. Half the hole is mine and she is welcome to a little corner,' Bofur offered. He quickly drove his shovel into the side of the hole a few times and made a spot for the chest she held. 'There, just the right size, my lady.' He took his hat off and bowed as she placed the little box in its spot.

'Thank you, gentlemen. Who knows if I will ever be able to retrieve it, but it is nice to know I at least have a chance,' Meta said.

'Humph!' snorted Nori. 'There will be a rental charge if I have any say in the matter.' He returned to his task and ignored the others.

Her treasure secured, Meta wandered back to see what else had been claimed. Bilbo was waving around a small Elven blade and Gandalf and Thorin had appropriated two fine swords. 'These should provide good service, Thorin.' At first Thorin resisted because it looked a bit too Elvish, but he relented when he saw the gold accents and the quality of the blade.

Back on the road again, the dwarves groused all day long about being put into sacks. 'It's all Bilbo's fault,' said Dori. Since he had been first on the menu, he was madder than all the others.

Meta listened to the grumblings but didn't comment. She knew anything she said would be ignored or bring teasing down on her head. She had yet to earn a place in the company with anyone other than her B's. Fili and Kili did their best to raise everyone's spirits. They thought the whole thing had been a great adventure now that the danger was past.

'You should have heard your scream, Bilbo!' Kili mocked. 'Almost like a little girl. Even Meta didn't sound that bad!'

Seeing one of her B's attacked, Meta finally had to comment. 'At least neither one of us seems to have ended up on the menu quite so soon, Kili! If not for Bilbo, you would be Kili stew by now!'

Now Fili jumped into the fray. He hadn't cared much for her presence from the beginning, and now he wasn't going to stand by and watch his brother teased.

'I want to know why you ran and hid.' Even though she had found the hoard, he still didn't believe she had just walked to it.

Meta glared at him. 'I didn't run, and I didn't hide. I came to see what happened as soon as I realized you were all gone. And how on earth did you all manage to get caught? A little caution may be called for in the future unless you are going to troop in to see Smaug as a company? I guarantee if that is the case, I will be running and hiding!'

'Hiding is not the way true dwarves act, Miss Mighty Meta!' Fili retorted. 'We face danger head on and welcome it!'

'And wind up in soup pots!' Meta muttered under her breath.

Before things got uglier, Balin rode back to find what all the shouting was about. He saw Fili and Meta's red faces and guessed what was going on. 'A little less yelling and a little more riding, please. We cannot be certain there are no more trolls or other evil creatures lurking in these hills.'

Abashed to have been caught acting so pettily, Meta pulled Baru back to where her B's were while Fili and Kili kicked their ponies into a trot to regain their place with Thorin. 'Thank you for defending me, Meta,' Bilbo said.

'You shouldn't need defending, Bilbo. They should be thanking, not teasing. Spoiled brats.'

'Don't let them hear you call them that, Meta,' Bombur warned. 'They'll never leave you alone if they do.'

'I won't. I don't really think they are spoiled anyway. I just don't like teasing no matter how much fun it's supposed to be. One side or the other usually gets hurt.' Changing the subject she remembered Thorin's words of the night before. 'What did Thorin mean when he said dwarf-women have a better sense of smell? My mother never mentioned that to me.'

Bofur answered, 'It has always been said that dwarf-women can smell better than the men, but I think that is only an excuse for the dwarf-men when the women want us to take baths!'

Quick agreement came from Bifur. 'My amad would make me take one every week. She said I stunk and then my adad would say he didn't smell a thing. When he did that, she would make him take one too!' The B's roared with laughter.

'You may have a better sense of smell or you may not, Meta. It is obvious in this case that you did.' Bombur added. 'Those trolls got us one by one and none of us smelled anything until the very end.'

Meta thought the rumor must be true. How could anyone have missed the stench of that cave? 'I'll remember that in the future. And I'll be sure to let you know when it is time for a bath!

Throughout the day, it was obvious Thorin and Gandalf were having some sort of disagreement. Too far back to hear anything, Meta could see it by the gestures and body posture of the two at the head of the column. On a break, she dared to ask Gloin what was happening. Gloin and his brother had followed Balin and Dwalin and were in a better position to hear.

Gloin stared at her in a somewhat unfriendly manner. He hadn't quite decided whether he wanted a female on this journey or not. He was leaning towards not but his faith in Thorin prevented him from being rude. 'Not that it is any of your business, but Gandalf wishes to go to Rivendell and Thorin is refusing.'

'Rivendell! I had no idea we were going there!' Meta exclaimed. 'Why would Thorin refuse? It is a beautiful place.'

Gloin narrowed his eyes at her words. 'Because it is full of Elves, that's why, and what would you know about Rivendell?'

Treading on dangerous ground, Meta retreated. 'I-I have heard stories from the folk in my village,' she said lamely.

Somewhat satisfied, Gloin added, 'Bad enough you gave your pony that foolish name. Don't talk Rivendell with Thorin. Gandalf seems to think the elf there can read his map, but Thorin is still resisting.'

'And you, Gloin? Do you hate elves too?' she asked.

'Hate may be too strong a word; I have no use for them. I will follow Thorin in whatever he decides.' The dwarf turned away and abruptly ended the conversation.

Note: Credit to an anonymous author (to me anyway) of the Nonsense Song. I learned it decades ago at camp and have remembered it ever since. I did change a few words to make it fit into the world of Middle-earth, but 99 % of it is how I learned it. It truly is nonsense but very memorable!