Moonlit Nightmares

Chapter Ten: A Letter

The next few days proved to be the most awkward of my entire life. It was hard to act like Remus and I were dating when I wasn't used to spending any time with him outside our confinement in the Shrieking Shack. It took Lily reminding me and James, Sirius and Peter reminding Remus for us to remember to sit together at meals and walk to class together, things that would have been no-brainers if the relationship had been real. I was thankful for their nudging, even if we did both blush furiously each time.

For the most part Angelique was keeping her distance, but she was watching. She had found a rather large group of girls to follow her around and practically worship her, and it was several times a day that I felt their eyes on me. The French girl had eyes and ears everywhere now, it being impossible to keep up with the number of girls in her employ.

"This is ridiculous," I said to Remus as we walked toward the Great Hall for breakfast one morning. Two girls—identical twins—that I had seen with Angelique earlier had just ducked into a corridor after seeing us, scampering off with tittering laughter floating back to us. "They're up to something."

Remus frowned, the gesture pulling the scars on his face into white lines. I, too, had scars on my face now. Two thin red lines extended from my brow to my chin on the left side, passing over my eye. When there was no one to pursue, no hunt, the wolf turned on itself.

"I fear you're right," he answered after a moment's pause. "Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea."

My heart began to hammer and I chastised myself internally. Why should I dread a break up when technically we weren't really together? Angelique wasn't the only one being ridiculous. "We can still call it off," I said reluctantly.

He didn't say anything at first, but before we entered through the double doors he said, "Maybe a little more time," and I smiled.

James, Sirius, Peter and Lily were already at the table, and they had saved two spots on the bench for Remus and me. Just as we got settled and started to pile food onto our plates, owls swooped in to deliver their messages and parcels. I ignored them and started to eat. I hadn't received mail from anyone except my uncle just after the first full moon, asking how I was and if things at school were okay. After I replied I hadn't heard again, and I definitely hadn't heard from my parents. I wasn't surprised, and I didn't expect anything.

That's why I was shocked when my mother's owl dropped a letter on my plate. He pecked at some bacon and then flew away. I lifted the letter as though it were going to explode in my face. I was burning with curiosity as I opened it, and then it felt as if I had swallowed a stone.

Dear Lacelin,

Your father and I have decided that it is not appropriate for you to be at Hogwarts any longer. We should never have let you return in the first place, it is a gross oversight that we must remedy.

Unfortunately, you will not be permanently returning home, either. Your education must continue, and we have found a most wonderful new establishment for you to attend. Marcia Spiderpots' School for Afflicted Witches and Wizards will be able to handle your condition and see that you are properly kept away from the rest of the magic public.

We will be contacting your headmaster shortly, he will tell you when you leave. Go ahead and begin packing.

Your Mother

"Lacelin? Lace, what's wrong? You've gone white as a sheet."

I couldn't speak, I was absolutely without words. I felt cold but also numb, the buzz of conversation around me droning loudly in my head. I simply held the letter out for Lily, continuing to stare at my plate without truly seeing it.

There was silence while Lily read the letter and then she gasped, her hand going to cover her heart. "This is ridiculous! They can't do this!"

"Who can't do what?" James asked, leaning forward to try to see the letter. Lily pressed it against her chest, glowering at him before looking to me for unspoken permission. I simply shrugged and she reluctantly relinquished the parchment.

The four marauders crowded together to read the letter, each one just as shocked as the next.

"Wow, your mother sounds as great as mine," Sirius said sarcastically.

"Isn't Marcia Spiderpots the same woman that tried to have werewolves rounded up and moved out of the country?" Peter asked quietly, looking at Sirius as he spoke.

"Blimey, you're right," he said. "I've heard of that school. Lots of pureblood families send their undesirable relatives there to get them of the way for good." He looked across the table at me and I met his gaze, already dreading the words before he spoke them. "It isn't a regular school. You can stay there for the rest of your life if your family agrees, and so do their crackpot Healers."

I felt so sick to my stomach and I hadn't even eaten yet. I knew I wouldn't be able to stomach anything now, and I felt panicked. I didn't know what to do.

"Lacelin, I think you need to go talk to Professor McGonagall, and maybe even Dumbledore," Lily said. She looked very worried. After all, she knew better than anyone how my parents behaved. We were a pureblood family, and they were arrogantly proud of it and terrified of anything that could tarnish their reputation. They were both Slytherins and had been disappointed when I was sorted into Gryffindor. We had never gotten along, but after that any chance we may have had extinguished. When I was bitten things turned outright hostile.

"But what can teachers do against the will of the parents?" Remus asked. I looked at him now, realizing he seemed just as worried as Lily—if not more—and all he knew of my family was from this letter.

Lily frowned, realizing the truth in his words. "But it isn't what she wants, that has to count for something." Her words were hopeful, but her tone said it was obvious she wasn't sure how true they could be.

"It's worth a shot," I finally said, looking toward the teachers' table at McGonagall and Dumbledore, who seemed to be engaged in a humorous anecdote as both were laughing while the Headmaster made outrageous gestures with his arms. "I'll talk to Professor McGonagall after Transfiguration this afternoon."

With a plan in place I felt slightly better, but the sick feeling of foreboding never left. For the first time since the incident, I managed to completely forget that I was actually a werewolf, and that the next moon was quickly approaching. My distress must have been quite obvious, because throughout the day Remus would lay his hand on my shoulder comfortingly, or give me an encouraging smile if I caught his eye. I appreciated it, and the gestures made my heart beat rapidly. It was becoming all too common for me to feel my heart thudding against my chest, surely I was well on my way to a heart attack.

As Transfiguration drew to a close I began to feel anxious again. It was impossible to pay attention to the end of the lesson, and I would have to get what our homework was from Lily later, because I was giving myself a nonstop internal pep talk so I wouldn't chicken out.

I held my book satchel against my chest tightly as I watched Professor McGonagall; her head was bowed as she read over something. I knew Lily and Remus, and probably the other three, were waiting outside in the corridor. I waited for the room to be completely empty before I approached her desk, taking a deep breath before speaking.

"Professor?" I sounded quiet even to myself, I was afraid she wouldn't hear me, but she lifted her head and looked at me, her brow immediately knitting together slightly in concern.

"Miss Crill, what can I do for you?"

I swallowed hard, trying to think of the best way to say this. Of course, I had been over this thousands of times in my head, but it was always a completely different matter in the actual moment. "I-I don't know if you can help me, but I have a problem with my family."

She frowned, and it was obvious she didn't make a habit of getting involved with students' families, but something in my expression must have made her make an exception, or because I was one of only two werewolf students and therefore had a unique situation. "As you said, I don't know what I could do, but you are welcome to confide in me. Do you have another class after this one?"

"No, it's my free period."

"Very well." She lifted her wand from where it sat on her desk and with a simple swish the door to her classroom closed and locked to give us privacy. A flick brought one of the chairs pressed against the wall over to settle beside her desk, and she gestured for me to take a seat. I did, but continued to grip my bag. It was solid and tangible, something I could hold onto and feel grounded.

"Please go on, Lacelin," McGonagall said gently, offering a small smile. In the moment it struck me just how kind she truly was behind that stern demeanor.

"Have you heard of Marcie Spiderpots' School for Afflicted Witches and Wizards?"

When her face paled I knew that she had, and it only confirmed what Sirius had said. "It's an institution that was started by Marcie Spiderpots," she said carefully, neutrally. "Quite controversial in The Daily Prophet."

I swallowed again. "My parents want to send me there because I'm…I'm not normal—" It felt too bizarre saying I was a werewolf, even to someone who already knew—"but I don't want to go. I want to stay at Hogwarts." I looked into her eyes, knowing my were wide and pleading. But I was desperate. I didn't want to leave Hogwarts, my friends, Remus…

I shook my head slightly to bring myself back into focus. "Doesn't it count for something that I don't want to go?"

I knew my battle was lost just by looking at her face. She tried not to look at me with pity, but the compassion in her was too much to hide. "I will talk to Professor Dumbledore on your behalf, Lacelin, but I do not think there is anything we or you can do because you're still an under-aged witch."

I felt like someone had punched me in the gut and forced all the air from my body. I drooped, deflated and feeling heavy as a cauldron. "Thank you, Professor."

"Keep faith, Lacelin," she said and smiled sadly.

As soon as I stepped outside the classroom I was surrounded. I knew they wanted to know simply out of concern, but I nearly lashed out at my friends. I felt lower than even when I was bitten. Instead of speaking when they asked their questions, I just shook my head.

"There has to be something we can do!"

"There is," I said and they looked at me hopefully. "I wait until I'm seventeen and come back." Missing even one day at Hogwarts was torture to me, though.

"Unless they don't let you out," James said. "If it works like Muggle asylums, the patient doesn't get to just leave when they want."

My heart sank even more. "Thanks, James," I said sarcastically. Tingles ran up my arm and down my spine as, next to me, Remus took my hand in his.

"We won't give up on you, Lacelin," he said, and the way he spoke I really wanted to believe it. I held the words close to my heart as I returned to the common room to begin packing my things.

=X=

The next morning when I awoke there was a rolled up piece of parchment on my night stand. I took it and flattened it out, reading:

Dear Miss Crill,

I am quite distraught to hear of your circumstances from Professor McGonagall. As she already told you, we as teachers cannot intervene with your parents because you are under-age. However, as a fellow wizard, I can try to persuade your parents otherwise. I have dispatched a letter to them at once, and wait hopefully for a reply.

The signature was the swooping one of Dumbledore. I felt lifted, and smiled. Even if things backfired, at least he was trying. For me. I rolled the parchment back up and quickly got dressed, going to find Lily, Remus and the others to show them the letter.

But as I entered the common room I was stopped by a very grave Professor McGonagall. She frowned at me, that look of pity returning to her eyes. "Miss Crill, I'm afraid we've heard from your parents. We're to put you on the train home—immediately."

I didn't even get to say good-bye.

=X=