Chapter 10

Adrien stared at Ladybug as she hung outside his window, half wondering if he'd fallen asleep at the computer and this was a dream. She gave him a smile and a timid wave and he fell off his chair in his haste to get to the window. Smacking into the wall, he wrestled with the hatch, then shoved it open. "How…. What…?"

Ladybug stepped on to the window sill and crouched down. "Hello Chat."

He stilled and his heart flip-flopped. "Marinette told you."

Ladybug cringed. "Well… sort of."

"I'm sorry about that," he said, disappointed and hurt. "I know you didn't want to know and it wasn't right for her to tell you."

"She sent cookies," she said, holding out a bag.

Seeing Marinette's family label on the bag, he asked, "Did you see Marinette just now? Is she okay?"

She nodded. "May I come in?"

He nodded and stepped aside. "Of course."

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to help you today," she said, moving into the room. Leaning down, she placed the bag of cookies on the coffee table as she walked by it.

"Tikki explained," Adrien said and ran his hand over the back of his neck. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Headache and light sensitivity."

He nodded. "Marinette had that too. Oh!" He bounced for the controller on the coffee table. "Here, I'll dim the lights." He hit a few buttons on the controller and the windows darkened as their filters increased. Moving the controller, he pointed it at the door and dimmed the lights in the room.

"Thank you."

Odd that she didn't say anything else about his room. Given the reactions of his friends on the weekend, she should be amazed, but she only had eyes for the floor. "Do you want a drink? I have—"

"I'm fine."

"So, you go to my school, don't you?"

She whipped around to face him in a move too fast to be graceful. "Yes!" Controlling herself, she took a step back and touched her head. "I mean. Yes. That's why I'm here."

Adrien's brow furrow. "So… do I know you? You're not one of the teachers, are you? 'Cause that would be completely embarrassing."

With a nervous giggle, something he'd never heard from Ladybug before, she ran her fingers along the back of his sofa and moved further away from him. "No. No I'm not."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she said, too quick in her reassurance for him to actually believe her.

Adrien raised his eyebrow at her.

"Okay, so maybe I shouldn't be here right now," she admitted. "But I need to talk to you. This really can't wait any longer."

Wondering what it could be, he tried to be considerate. "Do you want to sit down?"

"No. Um. No." She rocked back on her heels and took the plunge. "I had the biggest crush on you for the longest time."

Adrien sucked in a gasp of breath. "What?"

"I'm in your class."

"No, you're not," he said. "I would've known."

"Yeah," she said and shrugged. "I thought so too, but apparently we're pretty blind when it comes to our alter egos."

He stared at her, slack-jawed. "You're kidding me. It's a joke. Right?" In his class? Who was in his class who hadn't become an akuma? Juleka? Sabrina? Chloé? What if she was one of the boys? After all, just because she was a ladybug, doesn't mean she had to be a girl. What if her transformation changed everything?

"I wish. I think some of your bad luck rubbed off on me. I… um… are you alright? You've gone pale."

He blinked. "Are you a boy?"

She stared at him for a moment, then burst into a near hysterical giggle. "No."

"Oh."

Losing the giggle, she adopted a serious expression. "Adrien, there's something I need to tell you and it'll be difficult to hear—"

Adrien frowned. "Wait, wait, wait," he said waving his hands at her. "Let me guess, you didn't want to be with me when I was Chat, because you had a crush on me as Adrien. But now that you know I'm the same person, you're here to what— confess?"

Her body language completely changed as she wrapped her arms around herself, shifting from confident to shy.

She was. She was here to confess. How dare she? After everything, she was only here because he was Adrien.

"No." He shook his head and stepped back. "No. That's not fair. You said you were happy I found Marinette."

She blinked rapidly and looked taken aback. "I am happy—"

"Then you shouldn't be here to confess anything!"

She took a step toward him and insisted, "There are things you need to know!"

Her persistence made him angry. "Your timing is perfect! Marinette's confused and hurt and you swoop in and think that just because I'm Adrien as well as Chat Noir, that it's suddenly okay to have feelings for me? You don't even know me! I'm not one or the other, I'm both and you can't even stand thinking Chat Noir might love you. You pushed and you pushed and now you're surprised that I went!" Turning sideways to the window, he pointed. "Get out!"

"Please!" she begged and her voice cracked. "It's not like that."

He glared. "I don't want to hear this!"

"I wrote it all down so I wouldn't forget. I practiced and I couldn't tell you before but I can now! I have to! I can't do this anymore."

Something about her wording rang alarm bells and he dropped his arm. "What?"

She pressed on, speaking so fast her words bled together. "The minute you walked into school I knew. It bubbled up inside me and I did nothing to stop it. I wanted to be infatuated because it was me, as myself, not Ladybug. And that was okay because teenage girls are supposed to get crushes. We're supposed to be gawky and awkward and pine from afar. Gorgeous eyes and hair that can't be tamed."

Adrien's mouth twisted. She'd described him the way everyone did. It sounded straight from a catalogue.

"And then I discovered how kind you were and I knew- but I couldn't even talk without spluttering and being stupid. So I never really had a chance to know you as you."

Just like Marinette. At least Marinette had tried, in her own endearing way.

"And then you came in, swinging and purring and smirking and flirting with me and I... didn't know what to do with you. You are my partner. I'd waited so long for some help and I need you. I can't lose you. I didn't know how to turn you down without breaking your heart, so I ran. I never let you confess. I couldn't."

"Ladybug—"

She paced and waved her arms as she walked. "Then you fell out of the sky and landed on my terrace in such a state. You came to me, not Ladybug for help. And I helped you, because you are my partner and I care about you. When you hurt, I hurt, but I can't tell you that because I don't know if it's me or the stupid pheromones and Tikki says it's not."

Adrien frowned. "Wait, I never came to you—"

She didn't appear to hear him. "She swears it's not but— I see! It's everywhere. Men with their glazed eyes and women with their smiles. I draw them in, I make them feel comfortable and safe, just by being around them. It's part of what it means to be Ladybug. But it never affected you as Adrien, because you were never near Ladybug but you were as Chat and—" she gulped in a breath "—you came and I could pat you and be friends with you because I thought; no it's the cold I can't deal with as myself, not the pheromones, so it'd be okay, right? To pat you and get to know you without that getting in the way."

"What pheromones—"

"It was only supposed to be once but you kept coming back and it was like you were obsessed with pats but that's okay because it meant you weren't obsessed with me and I knew it couldn't be them and then— then I got to know you. And it suddenly wasn't about Adrien anymore because Chat was taking up my mind, but I couldn't kiss you as Ladybug because that would've ruined everything—"

"Slow down—"

"So I kissed you as me and you wanted to be with me, not Ladybug and how could I tell you then? Someone finally picked me over her and it was you and then you— you breathed me in and I knew. I knew it was the pheromones. Not me. It would never be me. And then Adrien's being nice and I don't know what I'm doing because all I'm thinking about is Chat and then you purred and… everything fell apart."

Adrien blinked. Then blinked again as he tried to make sense of what she was saying. She was so animated, waving her arms around and gesturing wildly as she spoke. There was something wrong too. Some about the way she muddled things which belonged to Marinette, talking about them as though it was her—

"I was happy watching Adrien and knowing he was so far out of my league it would never happen. I was happy dancing across the rooftops with Chat. I didn't want the two lives to mix. But they did and I got so confused. They got tangled up or untangled or criss-crossed or... I don't know. All I do know is I can't possibly love you any more than I do right now and I can't tell you that, because I don't know if it's me or Ladybug or…" She paused in her pacing to look at him. "Both?"

Something teased him. Taunted him. Hidden among the too-fast words and incessant pacing was a truth waiting for him to discover. If she'd just slow down and let him catch up he could figure it out.

She thrust out a hand and gestured him. "And look at you! Being a big dumb boy with your dumb boy face and yelling at me before I can explain because you're waiting for me to explain and here I am telling you everything I practiced and I'm still getting it wrong because you're just sitting there with your dumb boy mouth open and not kissing me and Tikki, Spots Off!"

Transformation released and her suit unravelled. Ladybug faded into Marinette. All sense of her frenzied speech disappeared with the transformation. The room dipped into silence as Tikki popped up beside her.

Everything she said hit him all at once. Smacked across the face like a wet fish and left him floundering. This was how she'd felt when he'd purred in the aquarium. Her whole world must have been off-kilter. Blindsided, Adrien flopped onto the sofa with a grunt and stared at her.

Her shoulders hunched to make her smaller, she wrung her hands together and looked more vulnerable than he'd ever seen her. "You didn't have any idea, did you?"

Words. He should really make some. "Wow. No. I… no…"

She hugged herself and shifted her weight from foot to foot. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know, I couldn't—" She cut herself off with a strangled sound and clutched at her head. "I don't know what I'm doing."

Somewhere close, Plagg snickered, only to be shushed by Tikki.

He bent forward, resting his arms on his knees. Clasping his hands together, he looked up at her. "Big dumb boy with a dumb boy face?"

She froze, then offered up an overly large, embarrassed grin. "Sorry. I didn't mean it like that, I'm just incredibly nervous and when I get nervous I ramble and—"

"Shh," he said and patted the air in front of him with a hand. "Shh. I'm processing. That was a lot of information all at once."

"Sorry!" she blurted and chewed on a thumbnail.

He muddled through what she'd said, putting everything into context now he knew Ladybug and Marinette were the same person. "Okay. So. One of your main…" He frowned and extended both his hands to her. "Come here and sit down."

He never suspected he'd use the words 'scared rabbit' to describe his lady. "I… er…"

He patted the sofa beside him in invitation. "Sit down before you fall down."

She fidgeted for a moment, then made up her mind and darted to the sofa. She sat as far away from him as she could and he raised his eyebrows at her.

She shook her head and wrung her hands together.

"Alright. So. Pheromones. Can you explain that? Slowly."

She adjusted her seat with a bounce and the bounce brought her a little closer. "Ladybugs have this… smell… which tells other ladybugs where to find a place that is safe and warm. Tikki says that's why everyone feels comfortable around me. Safe. It's how I can defuse situations quickly or calm people upset by an akuma attack."

That made sense. "Okay."

"Ladybugs also use a strong, nasty smell to deter predators, which I am so glad I didn't inherit."

So was he. "Or eating akuma to purify them."

Marinette's mouth dropped open and she swivelled to look at Tikki. "You didn't."

Tikki shrugged.

"Eww, Tikki!" Marinette screwed up her face and shuddered. "That's just gross."

"There wasn't any other way," Tikki said and shooed her hands at Marinette. "Don't get distracted."

She bounced around to face Adrien again and dropped her gaze. "Um…"

Tikki rolled her eyes. "Ladybugs use scent to attract mates."

Adrien sat back in his seat and extended an arm across the back in Marinette's direction. "Ahh."

Marinette gaze didn't move from her knees. She sat so stiff, her hands in her lap and her knees together. It was clear she wasn't comfortable or able to relax and Adrien didn't know what he could do to help.

"Which," Tikki said and her tone was slightly scolding, "As I have told her countless times, has not transferred to her."

"We don't know for sure!" Marinette protested, looking at Tikki. "You said other Ladybugs had the ability to attract and—"

Tikki huffed. "I also told you Chat Noir was immune for a reason!"

"I am?" Adrien asked, surprised.

"Of course," Plagg said, lounging on his back beside Adrien. "Someone has to be able to argue with her and protect her when she gets altruistic. If pheromones affected you, you'd let her do whatever she wanted and that wouldn't be good for anyone. Ladybug and Chat Noir are about give and take and like yin and yang, there's a little bit of each other in you. You balance each other."

Adrien looked at Marinette. "This is why you got so upset."

Her eyes still fixed on her knees, she nodded woefully. "Alya, I've been friends with forever. I know. But… you, I met you after I became Ladybug."

He ran his hand through his hair. "I can understand that."

She blinked and raised her head. "You can?"

"Sure," he said with a shrug. "If my scent had always made people around me more pliable, I'd be worried if someone liked me for me too."

"Oh." She furrowed her brow and she chewed her lip. "And… um…"

"You smell like cookies. I like cookies. Does that answer the question?"

She flushed.

"Why didn't you just tell me?"

"I was scared," she whispered. "What if it was true?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "This is also why you flirted but never let anything serious happen with Chat Noir as Ladybug."

She nodded.

"So, why did you as Marinette?"

She started slow, but gained momentum the more she spoke. "I love being Ladybug. I love the freedom and the parkour and the strength. I love how well we work together. But I hate feeling like everyone's always watching me, even you. Ladybug can do no wrong. I'm supposed to be this grand saviour and I'm just me."

"I don't see you—"

"You do," she said. "I see the looks and the smiles when you think I'm not watching. At times it seems like you… worshipped me."

He cringed. "Um…"

"That's a hard thing to deal with when Marinette won't live up to expectations."

He didn't like the way she said that. "That's not true."

She smiled like she didn't believe him. "You don't mind that they chant my name over yours and we're partners. Just because I'm the one who can magically put everything back into place doesn't mean they have the right to dismiss you." She glanced around. "Although, I imagine you probably like being out of the limelight a bit."

He shrugged. "I don't mind letting someone else take the glory. You deserve it."

"Today, I bet you were really angry when I wasn't there to back you up. I bet, for the first time, I let you down."

He wasn't going to admit that at all.

She seemed to know the answer to that anyway. "As Marinette, all my faults are right there and you didn't care. You kept coming back and making me laugh and blush and showering me with attention and… I mean, I knew you were getting something out of it too and it's not like I would have let anyone do that and you were always so careful not to… um…" Her pretty pink blush blossomed. "Even though you've always been a complete gentleman, there's only so many cat-smooches and kitty-kisses from a hot cat-boy a girl can take before she wants to explode."

He couldn't help the grin which spread across his face.

"I always liked you, Chat," she continued, glancing at him through her eyelashes. "It wasn't like like, in the beginning, but I've always cared. I thought, as Ladybug, it would be just encouraging you if I patted you and I didn't want to hurt you. But as Marinette… I could give you comfort because I knew you wanted to be with Ladybug, so you'd never look for anything more. The more you came back, the more I looked forward to it. Anticipated it." She tilted her head at him. "Why did you keep coming back?"

Adrien let himself laugh nervously. "Pretty girl, willing to pet me and satisfy the cat. It was kind've weird at first, since it was you and we're classmates, but you never seemed to want to talk to me as myself. Here I was, as Chat, seeing a whole new side of you that I hadn't seen before. Playful banter and a sadness deep inside you that you never showed to anyone else. Also, your hands are sinful."

Marinette's eyes widened and she looked at them like she'd never seen them before. "They are?"

"Paws-sitivley claw-some. I am paw-ty beneath them."

She laughed.

"There was so much about you which intrigued me and I wanted to learn. I'm a curious kitty and I liked what I saw."

She smiled and her presence lit up in his room. "You did?"

"I do." Lifting his hand from his knee, he beckoned her with a single finger.

Marinette went red, but she pressed her hands against the soft leather of the sofa and slid closer to him. Not close enough for what he wanted, but close enough he could stretch out and grab her so he could pull her to where he wanted her to be. Curling a hand beneath her knee, he slid her legs over his lap, then slipped that same hand up her leg to her hip.

He dipped his head toward her and he let her breath linger on his face as he brushed his nose against hers. "You were right about one thing."

"I was?"

Resting his forehead against hers, he murmured, "I do worship you." Lifting up her hand, he pressed her lips to her palm. "I worship this." He pressed her hand to his chest and held it there while he lifted her other one to kiss. "And this." He left that hand on his neck. Leaning close, he bypassed her lips to kiss her nose. "I adore this." Lightly brushing the back of his fingers up her cheek made her turn her face and his lips found her temple. "And this." Her ear was right there, so he gave that a nuzzle and a lick. "And this." His hands found her hips to pull her a little closer. "I adore all of you and I look forward to learning everything about you."

She giggled and her eyes glazed. "Chat."

He purred. She thrummed.

"Are you still afraid?"

A soft, barely audible sigh. "No."

Tilting his head to the side, his lips tasted hers. "Is this okay?"

Her hands gripped the collar of his shirt to pull him in and Adrien let himself be engulfed by her.

Author's note: So, unless I get hit by a plot/angst/fluff train, this is the second last chapter.