Chapter 10: Gifts
It had been two week since I'd last seen Sebastian. I mean, we would exchange a couple texts here and there, but something was different. And the worst part is that I knew it was my fault. I was the one acting different. I was stupid. I wanted a relationship, and Sebastian didn't. It was unfair for me to impose that upon him.
I really did miss him though. And I didn't want to spend Christmas upset with him, so I texted Sebastian earlier today to meet me in the Lima Bean so that we could exchange presents. I wanted nothing more than to get back to where we were before.
Winter was probably my favorite season. I loved the cold winter days that gave me an excuse to keep myself bundled up and drink hot chocolate. I loved everything about winter; the snow, cuddling by the fireplace (not that I had anyone to cuddle with), watching Christmas movies. I should be happy, but for some unknown reason, I don't know why I'm not. Well, I did know why.
I wasn't mad at Sebastian, I really wasn't. I had no reason to be. I was the one who wanted it so badly; I was the one who wanted to give Sebastian what he wanted. Sebastian was nothing but a gentleman, never forcing me to do anything I didn't want to.
"Mind if I sit down?" Someone I had never met before was standing next to me, a smile on his face. He was handsome. Sexy, really.
"Well, Uh-" before I could finish, he had sat down in the seat across from me.
"My names Hunter." Why did that name sound familiar? He extended his arm, asking for a handshake. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too. I'm Blaine." Hunter raised an eyebrow at me.
"I'm usually not this bold, I would never just start hitting on a guy. But it's Christmas time. This'll probably definitely push me over to the naughty list." Hunter winked at me and I couldn't help but blush. "Do you mind if I get your number?" Well, he sure was quick to the point.
"Uh…y-yeah, sure." I wrote down my number on a piece of paper and handed it to him.
"Thanks. I'll text you." With that, Hunter stood up. What I didn't expect was Hunter to kiss my check.
Everything that followed felt like it happened in the blink of an eye. Someone grabbed Hunter and threw him up against the wall. "Seba-" Hunter began. That's when Sebastian punched Hunter square in the jaw, causing him to fall onto the floor. Judging from how Sebastian held his hand, the punch must have been hard.
"Se-sebastian?!" I stood up to look at Sebastian. What the hell was wrong with him? Why did he just do that? "What are hell?"
I knew Sebastian could have a temper, but he looked angrier than I had ever seen him. His whole body was shaking, his knuckles white from tightly gripping his fists.
As if he suddenly realized what he was doing, he looked at Hunter and then me. His eyes were expressionless; it was always so hard to read what Sebastian was feeling. Sebastian looked around, worried that he had just made a fool out of himself. After collecting himself and straightening the coat he was wearing, Sebastian turned to me, but left the Lima Bean without saying a single word.
I lifted Hunter from the floor, apologizing for Sebastian's actions. Hunter had an unsettling smirk on his face.
I ran after Sebastian and found him sitting on the floor outside, resting his back against his car.
"Sebastian!" Sebastian looked up to see me. I started slowing my pace, realizing that even from where I was standing I could see that Sebastian's eyes were red. Had he been crying?
Sebastian abruptly stood up and started to unlock his car, but before he was able to open the door, I grabbed his wrist.
"Let go of me" Sebastian roughly pulled away from my grip. I didn't understand why Sebastian was so angry. What had I done to possibly piss him off this badly?
I stepped in front of him so that he couldn't get into his car. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Nothing's wrong with me, just leave me alone. I have to go, get out of my way. Here's your damn present." Sebastian placed the present on top of his car, not even wanting to hand it to me, let alone look at me. Sebastian's face had that same expressionless, blank look that made it impossible for me to decipher what he was thinking. He tried pushing me aside, but I wouldn't move.
"No! Tell me what's wrong!" I grabbed a hold of his hands, only to be grabbed tightly and pushed aside, causing me to almost fall.
"You wanna know what's wrong with me?" Sebastian pointed a finger at me. "You're what's wrong with me." I could feel my eyes starting to sting.
"Wh-"
"What the hell do you want from me Blaine? Why do you care? You're so stupid you know that?" Sebastian was pushing it. I could feel my face heating up, but this time it wasn't because I was blushing, it was because I was getting angry. I fought back my tears, not wanting to give Sebastian the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
"I don't get you Sebastian. Why the hell do you hate me? What could I possibly have done wrong?" I could feel my voice shaking. I was angry. I was upset. I had the right to be.
Sebastian closed his eyes. "You know what? I'm overreacting. I should leave." Sebastian started opening his car again. But I wasn't having it. I wasn't about to let him get away without an explanation.
"No. You don't get to walk into the Lima Bean, start a fight, insult me, and then just leave without an explanation."
"You're nothing to me. Is there a reason that I have to explain myself to you?" Sebastian knew the exact words to say that would tear me down. I can't believe it. Was this the guy I had slept with? The guy I called my friend? I should have known better. I set myself up. No one to blame but myself.
"I-…I thought we were friends. Why are you treating me like this?" I couldn't help it. By this point, tears were streaming down my face. "You're an asshole Sebastian. What did I do to make you hate me this much? This isn't fair!" I threw my hands up in frustration. Why would he do this to me…
"You don't get it do you Blaine? How do you think it makes me feel to walk into the Lima Bean, only to see you flirting with some dude?" I had never seen Sebastian so angry before. Sebastian was always so composed, so elegant. Yet, here he was screaming at me, his eyes angry, yet somehow filled with hurt.
Is this why he was mad? Because he had seen Hunter kiss me? But that's no excuse for him to be mad. Or to treat me like crap. Why did he even care? He wasn't my boyfriend. He wasn't anything.
"And on top of that, you were flirting with Hunter of all people, the Warblers leader. Looks like I'm kicked off again." Fuck. I knew that name was familiar.
"And you know what sucks even worse? I never act like this. I don't even recognize who I am anymore. And instead of being mad at you, I'm mad at myself. Mad at myself for acting like such a fucking idiot. Mad at myself for not being able to control my anger. Mad at myself for letting you affect me. Mad at myself for thinking that maybe, just maybe, you were different and that I cou-" Sebastian stopped mid sentence. What was he going to say? What was he hiding? Say it, Sebastian! Say it!
"You could what?"
"Forget it. Listen, I'm sorry, okay? Just…just forget what I said." Sebastian looked defeated.
"Sebastian…Sebastian, I-…I didn't kiss him, he kissed me. And it was on the cheek. I'm sorry that I gave him my number, but I didn't know you would care." Sebastian looked up from the ground to look into my eyes. His eyes were hopeful, yet his expression was guarded.
"I don't understand why you even care this much, Sebastian."
Sebastian grabbed the present and handed it to me. "Just take this. I'll…I'll talk to you later." Sebastian got into his car and drove away without another word.
There I was again. Alone. Broken by Sebastian. I walked over to my car and got in before letting myself cry again. Why did I let Sebastian do this to me? I decided to open the card before I opened the actual present.
Blaine,
You know that when it comes to you, I feel like I am a completely different person. I'm always so calm and collected, but when I'm with you, I feel like I'm in one of those excessively cheesy romcoms. I never know how to act when I'm around you. It's like my world completely changes when I'm with you. I would imagine this is what all those idiots who fall head over heels for someone feel.
You know how I am. You know I'm not used to any of this, which is why this is so difficult for me. It's actually incredibly hard to write this letter. I'm trying to find the words that would adequately express the feelings I have for you, but clearly it's no use. All I know is that you're special. You're special to me.
I think about you all the time; I wonder how you're doing, what you're up to…whether you miss me. Whether you're thinking about me. I lose sleep over you, wishing that you were there with me so that I could hold you. Make you feel safe. This is so out of character, it's ridiculous. This is all so new to me. The warm feeling I get whenever you smile at me. The emptiness I feel when you don't text me.
I don't know how to really put this, but I'm going to try. I want to please you. I want to make you happy, I want to be the only guy that makes you blush, the only guy to kiss you. I want to hold you when you're sad, and laugh along side you when you're happy. I want to hold your hand. I want you to be mine. I want my name to be the only name that comes out of your mouth. I want to be the only one in your mouth ;) Sorry, couldn't help myself. I guess what I'm trying to say is that what I want more than anything is to be your ideal guy…the prince charming that you've always wanted. I want to be your everything. But you know I don't know how to be romantic, or sensitive to that matter. But I'm willing to learn. I'm willing to try. I'm willing to change. For you. Anyways, now that my bad boy image has been completely destroyed…
What I'm trying to say is…will you be my boyfriend?
(Circle One: Yes or Yes)
This is the part where you look up from the letter to look at me sitting across from you casually drinking my coffee, pretending nothing is going on. Your beautiful hazel eyes meet mine, and I just smile, taking in your stunning features that never fail to take my breath away. If you say yes, my present will make more sense. But if you say no…Awkward.
Merry Christmas Blaine.
I could feel a lump form in my throat. I was at a loss for words. Sebastian…Sebastian Smythe had asked me to be his boyfriend. I could feel my heart beating faster, to the point where I was pretty sure I could have a heart attack at any moment. My stomach was filled with butterflies. I was so happy. In that one moment, I felt as if nothing in the world mattered. Nothing that Sebastian had ever done to me mattered anymore. Knowing that Sebastian wanted me was the only thing I cared about. Sebastian cared for me. He wanted to change for me. He wanted to be my everything. When I opened the gift, I couldn't help but smile and choke out a happy sob. In the box, there was a beautiful keychain with a key. The key was absolutely stunning; it was gold and silver with diamonds. Engraved into it was the letters S.S.
There was a little note attached to it that read: I hope you like it. In case you were wondering, I have the second piece; the lock with the initials B.A. I figured a necklace would be too gay, so now you can clip this wherever.
This was more than I could ever ask for. This was incredible. Sebastian always blew my mind away. I loved him. I really loved him.
The moment of pure joy was disrupted with the memory of the fight we just had. The moment that was supposed to be perfect was just completely ruined.
I figured I would give it a go and try to call Sebastian, knowing that he wouldn't answer.
Sebastian, will you call me, please? –Blaine
I was way to impatient. If Sebastian was going to be stubborn and not answer my call, then I would just have to make a trip to his house.
"Hi, is Sebastian here?" I asked. I assumed that the woman who answered the door was probably their maid. I wonder why this was the first time meeting her?
"May I ask whose looking for him?" She asked with a sweet smile on her face. She seemed kind.
"I'm Blaine, it's a pleasure to meet you."
"Oh Blaine! It's nice to meet you. Let me just tell Mr. Smythe that you're here." Did she know me?
"Oh, uh, I was actually hoping that I could be a surprise." She eyed my present and waved for me to come in.
"Thank you."
"If you don't mind me asking, are you the Blaine that Sebastian is always talking about?" Sebastian talked about me? I knew he cared about me. I knew it!
"Well, I hope so!" I said laughing. I made my way up the stairs and stopped outside of Sebastian's door. I hesitated slightly before I knocked, to which there was no response. I opened the door slightly popping my head in to see if I could see him. "Hello?" Where could he be?
"What are you doing here?" I jumped when I heard Sebastian's voice coming from me behind me.
"God, you scared me!" I said placing my hand over my heart. "I uh…" I pulled out the letter he had written to me and handed it to him. When he opened the letter, his lips curved into a half smile.
"I circled yes. Not that I had a choice." I said as I winked at him. "I'm so sorry that everything had to turn out the way it did. This was perfect, although I'm kinda glad you didn't see me open it. I literally looked like a little child." I could see Sebastian trying hard not to laugh.
"Even after what I said to you?"
"Yes. I know why you got so upset. And I'm not mad at you, I'm sure I would react that way if I saw you with another guy." I confessed, trying my best to hide the blush that was threatening my cheeks, knowing that I wouldn't win. "Although I must admit it was flattering seeing you so jealous."
Sebastian pressed his lips into mine. The kiss was needy, but gentle at the same time. Sebastian pinned me up against the wall, sliding his leg in between mine. He sucked on my bottom lip, and bit down slightly, causing me to moan. I could feel his smile against my lips, loving what he was doing to me. I felt his tongue ask for permission, and allowed his tongue to explore my mouth.
I ran my hands through his hair before my hands rested on his lower back. I could stay like this forever. Sebastian towering over me, pressed up against the wall. By the time the kiss was over, we were both out of breath and my lips were swollen.
"Sebastian." I said in between pants, "you…I, I uh…still have my present that I have to give you"
"This was enough. All you've done for me so far is enough, I couldn't ask for more."
"Well, it's actually a really corny present. I didn't realize how silly it was until after I bought it…" Sebastian grabbed my hand and brought me into his room.
"Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll love it." Sebastian squeezed my hand.
Sebastian opened the first part of the present and laughed, "A bottle of Courvoisier? Are you trying to get me drunk Anderson?" I smiled and kissed his cheek. "Maybe, you never know!"
Sebastian pulled out the last two things. "Well, I know that you're favorite color is green, and I wanted you to have something to remind you of me, so I bought you that bowtie. And then I thought that was stupid, so I bought you a green iPod and made a playlist with some of my favorite music…there's even a couple where I'm singing them" I couldn't help but look away when Sebastian stared at me.
"I love it!" Sebastian had a wide grin on his face, a goofy looking smile that made me laugh.
"Are you sure? I mean, you're present looked really expensive and I don't know if you want something else too bu-"
"It's perfect. I love it Blaine, thank you" Sebastian gave me a quick kiss before standing up and going to place the iPod on speakers that he had. The first song that came on was Hopelessly Devoted to You.
"That reminds me! I'm auditioning for Danny Zuko in the production of Grease we have coming up! If I get it, would you come see me?"
"If you get it? It would be a travesty of international proportions if you didn't get it!" Sebastian laughed, "But yes, of course, I'll be there!"
"By the way, I heard you like to talk about me." I said with a smirk on my lips
"Who told you that?" He said rasing an eyebrow at me
"Your maid. I actually didn't catch her name."
"Her name is Maria. Not that it matters anymore seeing as I have to fire her for telling you a lie."
"Sebastian!" I playfully punched him in his arm, to which Sebastian replied by sticking out his tongue. "You're such a child." I said rolling my eyes.
"Sebastian, where are your parents? Are they not here for Christmas?"
"My dad went to Paris to visit my mom, but I didn't want to go."
"Why would you not want to go to Paris?!"
Sebastian scratched his head, "I've actually been working on mustering up the courage to ask you out for a while. My dad didn't decide to go until a week ago, but I had already my plan to make you mine, so I couldn't just leave…" Sebastian winked at me as I looked at him with wide eyes.
"Are you serious? You should have gone to be with your family! You didn't have to do that for me. Wait, so what are you doing tomorrow then?"
"I'll be here alone, Maria has the day off."
"No! You can't stay here by yourself, that's crazy it's Christmas! Do…d-do you want to come spend the day with my family?"
"I…I don't know Blaine. I wouldn't want to make anything awkward and…well, you're my first boyfriend B, and I don't know how the whole 'meeting the parents' thing works." I understood that the relationship thing is new for Sebastian. I grabbed his hand, hoping to be able to comfort him.
"I understand if you don't want to come, but I really don't want you to spend tomorrow alone. I promise I won't leave your side. I'll walk you through it all."
"Can't say no to my boyfriend right?" Sebastian laughed.
"Got that right!" Sebastian brought me onto his lap. He lifted my chin with his finger, and placed a small kiss on my lips. I knew then that it was impossible to be happier than I was right now.