Okay, chapter ten. I'm nearing the forty-thousand word mark too, which feels unreal. When I started I figured I'd give up after about a page.
This is my attempt to fix super-emo. If you like this better, please mention it. If you preferred my old style, feel free to say that too. If you don't notice a difference, then feel free to leave reviews with suggestions.
How do you guys think I should do May? For her intro I've rolled out her usual big-breasted, food obsessed self, but I'm hoping to make her deeper later. She's going to be the normal girl in Ash's life- she doesn't have the self-esteem issues that Misty and Dawn are going to have. She's beautiful, she loves life and she'll be open about her feelings towards Ash once they develop.
10-Doughs and Don'ts
"From a scientific point of view it isn't that hard to understand. They're just sacs of adipose cells interspersed throughout mammary tissue. Prolactin stimulates the storage of milk in alveolar cells, and then oxytocin triggers release through the ducts. Breasts are just evolutions way of making sure our kids get fed. So why do... hey! My face is up here, buddy!"
-May Maple
Have you ever wondered what kind of stories your pets could tell if they could talk? Don't. Cute and fluffy things only stay that way if you don't know what they actually think of you.
(And remember the class photo in grade 6?)
"Shut up Pikachu."
(Remember when you bit the camera guy?)
I give up trying to shut him up. Pikachu has never really liked his ball, so I decided to let him out earlier. I used to enjoy the quiet noises he would make when we were together. Then I started understanding them.
(And that time Gary drew on you when you were asleep? Man, you couldn't get those whiskers off for days.)
You know my host, the amusing rat would make an excellent backup ration.
I ignore both Kaelus and Pikachu and have another look at the map. Devon Corp had supplied me considerably well despite that letter, and the map was good enough to navigate by. Of course, navigating would sort of require that I know which island I was on, which I didn't. Step one had been to find some food and some water. Step two, which I was carrying out now, was to either find a land mark or get the general shape of the coast so I could tell which island I was on.
The jungle wasn't actually that bad. The heat was sweltering and the air was still and humid, but I hadn't seen a major predator since I got here. I had left my long sword with my luggage at the ship (I hadn't anticipated that I'd need a weapon to eat breakfast) but I still have one of the parangs Riley gave me, and it makes quick work of the underbrush. Pikachu follows in the wake of my passage, still poking fun at the most embarrassing moments of my life he can remember. Kaelus offers me a recipe for Rat a la mode, which I decline.
"Well what about you? Need I remind you of that time you got stuck in the ketchup bottle?"
(Hey, I love to eat ketchup.)
"Yeah, but it wasn't your mouth that got stuck."
(So I got lonely, sue me. You should try- wait what's that?)
"What's what?"
(That humming noise.)
I can hear it too now. It's coming from the south of us (if a compass made by the same guys who came up with the gonorrhoea rope can be trusted) and it isn't so much a humming as it is a buzzing. An angry buzzing, one that's getting louder.
"Pikachu, maybe we should-"
I never get the chance to finish my sentence, because at that point someone rushes out of the bushes and cannons right into me. We both lay on the ground groaning, and I can hear someone else approach.
"May, what are you doing? Don't stop, they're almost here!"
"Sorry, I ran into someone! Who are you anyway?"
"Mpph-mmph!"
"Oh, sorry."
She gets off of me, removing her chest from my face. I take a deep breath. I nearly asphyxiated but hey, what a way to go.
"My name is May and this is Zoey. Um, we should probably run right now."
"Why?"
Suddenly some Beedrill pop out of the treeline. Quite a lot of Beedrill actually. Running suddenly sounds like a great idea.
"Them!" May shouts as we run.
"What pissed them off so badly?" I yell.
"May bothered their nest!" Zoey yells back at me. "She said she wanted some honey!"
"What? They're part of the wasp family! They don't make honey!"
"Then why do they have 'bee' in their name?" May wails, nearly tripping over a tree root.
Even running for our lives Zoey and I manage to share a look. We roll our eyes simultaneously.
Well at least they weren't Ariados. Ariados poison is only a mild paralytic, because the spiders like their prey fresh- they eat it alive. Beedrill poison was fatal, but at least it was quick. They injected a fast-acting vasodilator that would cause you to pass out before you stopped breathing. Beedrill were used to smaller prey than humans, so a single sting wouldn't do much. But being stung by an entire swarm- like, say, the swarm that was following us- would result in death.
We run. Not the usual gym class pseudo-run, but the actual 'I'm about to crap my pants from fear' run. It's amazing what you can do in the face of stingy yellow death, but we're going to wear out faster than they do. The terrain is rough going, and flight is easier than moving on the ground. The only reason they haven't swooped down on us yet is that the tree cover is too thick. If we hit thicker terrain, then we'll have to slow down and they'll get us. If we hit thinner terrain, they'll wear us out and then get us. I was desperately trying to think of a solution when gravity decided to solve the problem for me.
We hit the cliff.
Cliff isn't really the right term. It was only about a twenty foot drop, so I suppose that crag or spur is better. In deference to the unbreakable laws of humour, my legs continued to run on this air for about a second before I fell.
Twenty feet is not that dangerous if you don't land on your head. You can break a bone, but you'll walk away. So although it hurt, I thought I was fine... until two-hundred pounds of female landed on my back. At least the Beedrill missed us- in their fury they continued right on by.
"Whew." Sighs Zoey. "Close one. You okay May?"
"Yeah, I landed on something soft."
"Really? So did I."
"Umm..."
They look down.
"Oh! Our bad." They get off of me.
"S'alright." I mutter and roll over. The three of us are tired but exultant- I guess it's the last of the adrenalin running through our systems. The girls introduce themselves as Zoey of Snowpoint City and May Maple of Petalburg.
"What were you two doing anyway?"
"The same as you I guess. Surviving. After we got teleported off that ship- that was teleportation right?"
"That or a new Devon invention. Do you feel like you have an STD?"
"No."
"Probably teleportation then."
"Anyway, after that happened I found myself wandering out here. I met up with May on the other side of the island, and we decided that two was better than one, so we teamed up."
"And then got a honey craving?"
"Hey!" May pouts. Zoey laughs.
"Don't let her fool you. She's curious and naive, but smarter than you'd think. Well, until she gets hungry anyway."
We both laugh this time, and May pouts. I didn't get a good look at either one of them while we were running, but now that I have the time they're worth the look. Zoey is a tall slender girl with hair reminiscent of Misty. She has it cut in a different style, but it's clear that both of them have tailored their look so as not to be underestimated by the opposite sex.
May is different. She wears a long blouse-dress thing that comes down to her upper thigh. Underneath that, she wears a pair of the tightest shorts I have ever seen. A light green bandana adorns her forehead, framed by long brown bangs on either side. She's shorter but curvier than Zoey, and has a-
How did I miss that? Sweet Papa Smurf of Verdanturf she is stacked. If all the girls in Petalburg are like her then they'd better start checking their water.
As interesting as May's... infrastructure undoubtedly is, I realize that she's speaking now and that I'd better listen. If she can keep up with me and Zoey running despite the height difference, then she isn't a weakling and I'd rather not get slapped for staring.
"So Ash, why not come with us? Three people are better than two."
"Eh? But... you're girls. Of the female persuasion."
"So?" she smiles sweetly.
"So I'm a guy. Who you don't know. In the middle of Devon Corps islands of death. Why do you want me to come with you? I mean it isn't like I can hold your purse or something."
"Hey! That's sexist."
I glare.
"Okay, okay." She mumbles. "I thought maybe you had food. Happy?"
I smile. "Yep. Girls I don't get, but food I love. Should we eat now or march until dark?"
In the end we march. May argued strongly in favour of the food, but Zoey and I were worried more about the Beedrill and the time limit than our stomachs. In the end I gave her some berries I had found to eat as we hiked. May was disappointed that she didn't get her way with the food, but soon she starts humming. Eventually humming turns into singing and skipping. It seems like it's impossible to keep this girl down for any length of time. Not that I'm complaining. She had a beautiful voice and she...um... bounced interestingly as she skipped. I got a song and a show.
"Come on Ash, join me for the next round!"
"Uh, I don't really sing."
Which wasn't entirely true. When Gary and I were thirteen he had stolen a bottle of vodka from his dad. We'd spent that day getting wasted in the old quarry and belting out as many dirty songs as we remembered. I hadn't touched a drop of alcohol since then though, remembering the mind splitting headache the day after. Besides, I don't think May is talking about screaming out the words to "Jinx the magic tranny" in a thirteen-year old falsetto.
"You have to sing something!"
"But the only songs I know are-"
"Sing now!" I may not be an expert on girls, but I know when to give up. I clear my throat and try to remember the words Gary had told me.
"There was a young trainer, he went far and wide
With a glint in his eye and his team by his side
He grew from a young boy into a man
But there were two kinds of things he did not understand
Pidgeys and Beedrills, birdies and bees
Why are the girls all so eager to please?
I tell them they're nice, I tell them they're cute
And they tell me to watch where I stick my poke-flute.
He travelled in forests, on mountains and seas
The girls that he met were so willing to tease
But when he asked if they'd give it their all
They took his apricorns and they gave him blue balls.
Pidgeys and Beedrills, birdies and bees
Why do these girls simply do as they please?
I ask them kindly what they want done
They giggle and then point at my Lickitung.
He went to the-"
I get no further into the song. May and Zoey have fallen over giggling and blushing. I mentally curse Gary.
"Well I tried to warn you! You told me to sing!"
"Oh my god!" Zoey chokes out. "Where did you learn that?"
"Gary heard a couple of the soldiers singing it, and be glad I didn't finish it. The last verse uses words I don't even know the meaning of yet."
That sets them off again. After they recover from the laughing fit, they try to get me to finish it. But I don't budge- I'm not completely sure what those words mean, but I know I don't want to repeat them here.
"Aww, cutie!" May coos. "Zoey, he's blushing."
I maintain a dignified silence (dignified, not cowardly dammit!) and move ahead so that they have to catch up to me. As embarrassing as the song was, at least it seems to have broken the ice. We converse about... well, teenage shit I guess. I don't recognise any of the singers or movies they talk about, but they don't know how to field dress a bullet wound, so I guess we come out even. Eventually the sun gets too low in the sky for us to reliably move through the jungle, so we decide to make camp. May and I set up the tents while Zoey fetches wood for a fire- they don't do much camping in Snowpoint but they know how to stay warm. It's still hot though, so the fire is really more for cooking and comfort purposes.
It's as we sit around the campfire after eating that May asks the question I've been dreading.
"So Ash, tell us about yourself."
"Why?"
"Because we're travelling together silly, and me and Zoey told you all about ourselves. We need to get acquainted!"
"May, I nearly suffocated on your cleavage. I think we're about as acquainted as it gets."
Zoey laughs. May flushes and throws me a dirty look, but it soon softens. If there's one thing I've learned about this girl, it's that she never stays angry or sad for long. She's an interesting contrast to Misty...
Ah hell. I spent the whole day with my own problems, and didn't think about Misty or Gary at all. But... they'll be okay, right? They're strong.
"Ash?"
Besides, nothing I can do right now will help them. I'd better-
"Ash!"
Apparently May has been talking to me.
"You weren't listening were you?"
I throw her a semi-apologetic grin. "Sorry. Thinking about my friends."
She smiles. "They'll be fine. Come on, buck up Ash! 'For everything there is a season, a time to weep and a time to laugh'."
"Sorry May. I don't believe in fortune cookies."
"That was scripture."
"Oh...uh, sorry."
"It's okay! I like to teach the ignorant, not shun them."
Speaking as a guy who would like to remain ignorant, I decide to do the shunning myself by changing the subject.
"Does either one of you have a plan yet? When I ran into you guys I was busy trying to figure out which island this was so that I could figure out what to do next."
"Well," Zoey begins "there was some higher elevation terrain near where I started out, so I guess I got a better look at the shape of the place than you. I'm not sure, but I think we're on this island here.
I look at her copy of the map and swear softly. "Damn. We're going to need to make at least one raft trip- see here? We can island-hop for a while by swimming, but the water between us and the main island is too deep to risk it. We may actually need two or three raft trips depending on how we do this. Think we should stay close to land and be slow, or risk the open ocean?"
"I'd rather not go for the ocean thanks. If we run out of provisions or get lost..."
"Yeah, I hear you. Any raft building experience?"
"No. I can't even swim. The water at Snowpoint is too cold."
"Hmmm. May, can you swim?"
"A little, yeah. But only in pools and stuff. Daddy took us out sailing sometimes though. Can you swim?"
"Yeah." I say, remembering Misty's painful, painful lessons. "Oh yeah. I might collapse due to PTSD but I won't drown."
They give me an odd look, but I don't care. They never had to swim hundreds of meters in a freezing cold lake while Misty shouted "Encouragement" at them.
"Well at least you have some sailing experience. Zoey... I dunno. Maybe we can tie you to the raft with something. Pull you in if you fall."
"Well that's reassuring." She mutters sarcastically. "What makes you think we can even build a raft?"
"It isn't that hard, not if we only need it for a short crossing. Lash some buoyant vegetation to some driftwood and it'll be good enough if you only need it for a few hours."
"Are you sure something like that will float?" May asks dubiously.
"Well if it doesn't we can lash you to the underside and float along on your bubbly personality. Now get some sleep. We'll need it."
I get in my tent and try to ignore the giggling next door. May and Zoey have elected to share a tent for tonight (when I had asked why they looked at me strangely and muttered about idiot men) and the gossip is getting a little loud. Are all fifteen year old girls like this? Misty isn't. At least, not around me. But these girls aren't like Misty or I are they? They come from Hoenn and Sinnoh, peaceful nations. Peaceful for now at any rate.
I shelve the question for now, and decide to take my own advice by getting some sleep.
"Boo!" She yells as I walk past the tree. I knew she was there of course- she was breathing too loudly for me not to notice- but I ruin her fun all too often. I wanted to let her have her joke this time.
But then she tries to jump on me and all rules go out the window.
I grab her in mid air, tackle her to the ground and tickle her. She was always ticklish, and I'd exploited that fact to great use in the past. Not to mention that it usually put her in a good mood, as much as she'd deny that.
"Okay, stop!" She giggles. Her light brown hair falls into her face as she smiles at me. She's grown it longer than when we were kids, but her eyes are the same playful light blue that I remember.
"I was just trying to surprise you. You'd think I had tried to bludgeon you to death."
"No, you tend to leave that to Kasumi."
She laughs, light hearted and happy.
"I was enjoying my walk, Haruka. Did you think I'd just" I kiss her "forgive you like that?"
"Oh no?" She loosens her top slightly. "Then how can I make it up to you?"
I grin, and start to trace my hands down her lithe form. She responds and presses up into-
No. She burns. We all burn, they're here THEY'RE HERE-
Morning. It's morning and I'm back in my tent. Not burning. Yeah, I'm completely flame free. I breathe a sigh of relief and try to calm down.
"Man, wierd dreams."
"Mmmm, cookie dough."
"No actually, it was about this girl named- wait what?"
Something warm is pressed into my side. I shift slightly to get a good look and... Oh crap. May is curled around my arm. She's obviously still asleep and is trying to eat my hair. She keeps muttering something about seconds.
First Misty and now May. You'd think that waking up next to girls would involve more sex and less bloody beatings if discovered. Is May the kind of girl who would understand, or am I in for pain if she wakes up? Luckily I'm spared the horrors of baldness, because at that point I hear Zoey up and moving.
"Zoey!" I hiss "Is that you?"
"Yeah... Ash where is May? I can't find her."
"She's in here. I think she's sleep eating. Um, a little help?"
Zoey unzips my tent, sees May noshing on my head, and starts to giggle.
"Shh! Don't wake her up, I don't want to get hit for something I didn't do."
"Why would she hit you? She's obviously at fault."
"You have no idea how scary the girls in Pallet are. Now get her off me or go find me some Rogaine."
Zoey giggles again, but gently rolls May off of me. We both grab an end (May's sleepwear is fairly, um, inadequate so Zoey makes sure I take the front end) and we dump May back in her own tent. She rolls over, mutters something about dumplings, and continues to snore. As we exit the tent Zoey grins at me.
"So Ash..."
"Do. Not. Start. Go get firewood and I'll find us some more water."
The grin doesn't go away, but she leaves to get the wood. I chose the tasks carefully this morning, making sure not to leave myself open to jokes about 'having morning wood' later. Zoey and I return and begin to set up breakfast. We don't wait so that May can help, because there's an unspoken understanding that she'd eat more then she'd produce.
May rolls out of bed once the scent of food reaches her. Zoey starts smirking and I give her a warning glare.
"Man that smells great!" Exclaims May, stretching. "Where's my share?"
"But you've already eaten May!" Zoey says deviously.
"I did?"
"Yeah, you had some delicious cookie dough."
"How did you know I dreamt about that?"
Zoey bursts out laughing and I hide my face in my hands. Misty was one thing but I barely know this girl. After May has the truth explained to her she's horrified- she explains about a dozen times that she sleepwalks. I brush off her apologies and try to move on with the day. We have a lot of work ahead of us if we want to get off this island.
"Are you certain this thing will float?"
"Um, probably? It will float better than you do anyway."
We'd hit the coast at mid-morning, and had spent a few hours putting together a makeshift raft. I did know how (survival training is drilled into everyone at the Academy at a young age) but I had to admit that the results were not pretty. I had used two big logs as cross spars and then I'd basically just tied crap to them. Driftwood, palm leaves, anything that floated. It looked like crap, but if Zoey couldn't swim than this was the best way to get between islands. Besides, it would hold... assuming the weather held. Right now it was calm and peaceful with a brisk tail wind- a sailor's dream. But the Kindara peninsula was known to be treacherous. We'd just have to make sail and hope for the best.
May and Zoey were dubious, and to be honest I don't blame them. But we haven't got much of a choice, not with the time limit in effect.
The girls help me push the raft into the water, and despite a heavy draft, it does in fact float.
"See? We have achieved buoyancy. Only one problem though."
"What?"
"She isn't very streamlined. She's got a large profile and some crappy boundary layer flow. Paddling her is going to take forever."
"Well, there are... alternate means of locomotion." Zoey says sneakily. Both girls grin and look directly at me.
"Oh hell no."
Was the song a little over the top? It's the sort of thing we used to snicker about in cadets. And I suppose I should mention that underage drinking is bad and illegal and immoral and all that, but Gary seems like exactly the type to try it. And Ash, despite himself, has a soft spot for Gary (completely platonic, I hasten to add- sorry Palletshippers).
Do Beedrills make honey? I don't actually know... and I seem to have caught a cold (in June, of all bloody times) so don't expect new material for a while.
PS Did you know songfics aren't supposed to be allowed on this site? Well, according to Wikipedia anyway. Nobody cares if I write the song myself and its part of the story though, right?