Chapter Ten

"Have you lost your goddamn mind!" Fury snapped as he stood in front of Tony Stark, hands on his hips his good eye glaring at the man.

Tony was too preoccupied to pay attention to his dressing down, he was covered in Pepper's blood. They'd removed her from his grasp within seconds of boarding the helicarrier. Steve, Bruce, Thor and Clint all stood in the main deck, only Tony and Clint were seated though, all eyes on Stark.

"Do you have a death with, Stark? Answer me?"

"No," Tony lied; any superhero had to have a little bit of a death wish if they wanted this job.

"Then what was it Stark? What made you not trust your own team enough to find Miss Potts?"

Tony didn't meet Fury's eye, the others just glanced at one another briefly before pursing their lips. There was no question that if Pepper had had a miscarriage they were going to be in a whole other ball game.

"I was saving the life of the woman I love, and don't tell me that you would do the same thing for yours," Tony snapped as he glared at his friends, none of them appeared to disagree, but they all had enough brains to remain silent.

"You're lucky I don't completely remove you from the Avengers."

"Oh come on Nick, you need me like you need a hole in the head."

Nick stepped closer, sensing what Tony was attempting to do. Despite his best intentions, Nick did give a shit about Tony. He tried his best not to, but he knew there was good in the scientist. "Well then clearly someone ought to shoot me, because you aren't going anywhere. Avengers, escort your fellow team mate down to medical, please make sure he stays there this time."

"Yes sir," Steve replied as Tony all but huffed out of the room, his four friends on his tail.

Pepper lay on the bed staring off into the distance, the occasional sniffle escaping her nose, as she looked down at her body. The body that had betrayed them, their child gone, she'd been so terrified at the idea of being pregnant, sure that Tony wouldn't want it. But now that the life was gone, Pepper wanted to curl up and cry, an overwhelming gift threatening to break its way to the surface.

"Pepper," Natasha whispered as she stepped into the small private room, her eyes red but no other signs of tears. "I spoke with the doctor."

"Miscarriage?"

She nodded as she took a seat, "He said most likely stress induced, Pepper, this isn't your fault."

Pepper looked away biting her lip. She was surprised when she felt a hand grip hers, "It's not, Pepper. If you sit here and try to blame yourself, it's only going to make things worse, Tony needs to know."

"I lost his baby," Pepper murmured, another trail of tears making their way down her cheeks and chin.

"You both lost a baby; you have to support each other. He's worried sick about you, Pepper. Can I bring him in?"

"No," she whimpered, she couldn't see him, couldn't stand to see the hate and anger he'd no doubt have in his eyes for what had happened.

Natasha looked at Pepper and sighed, "I have to respect your wishes, but I think you should know it's the wrong one. Pepper Tony isn't going to blame you and you know it. He adores you, and I do believe he would've adored a child as much as he's capable, but it doesn't mean he'll hate you for something you had absolutely no control over." Natasha reached out, wiping the tears from one of Pepper's cheeks, "Look, Stark drives me crazy as much as the next person. But there's no question to any of us he'd move heaven and earth for you if you asked. He's getting a dressing down just for risking his life to get to you. He's going to need support too."

Pepper looked up at her and nodded, "Just don't bring him in if he's mad."

Natasha smiled, "I won't, I promise." She knew he wouldn't be, Tony was many things but mad at Pepper was rarely if ever one of them. She sighed, sad for their loss, but hoping maybe this would help them a little they would have to support one another to make this work and get past it.

She stepped into the small waiting area where the men of her team sat, all looking more than a little apprehensive at what had just happened, Bruce and Clint still hadn't talked to Tony, based on where they were sitting, but now wasn't the time or the place to address that. "Tony, you can see her now."

Tony stood, and with a little help from Natasha they made their way slowly through the door. "What happened?"

Natasha paused and looked up at the big brown eyes, "Pepper had a hunch, though it wasn't a very good one, that she might have been pregnant. She wasn't sure, all the tests showed negative but she'd missed her period. She had a miscarriage, the doctor believes stress induced, but he also said the fetus could've died at any point."

Tony felt his heart sink, a child. He'd almost been a father…no a daddy. A father was his father; Tony didn't want to be Howard. He wanted to be Tony, daddy, husband, genius, and millionaire. He ached to see his girlfriend, ached to make all her hurts go away, but he didn't know how.

"Tony I'm not an expert, but I can tell you now, don't let yourself be forgotten. It wasn't just her child, it was yours too. Sometimes people forget that the dad suffers too."

Tony nodded, itching to see Pepper, Natasha pointed to a door a few feet away, standing there unsure what to do, he put his hand on the door knob and turned it. Pepper glanced up and her light watery blue eyes met his and any composure she had remaining was lost. Tony took two long albeit painful strides before he was seated on the bed holding his girlfriend as she cried against his shoulder, clutching the fabric of his shirt.

"I'm sorry Tony, I'm so sorry," she sobbed at one point.

He pulled her away, looking at her in confusion, "Sorry, what on earth do you have to be sorry for?"

"I lost the baby."

He shook his head, "No, you were put in a situation that wasn't fair, it was my fault, I'm sorry Pepper. But we'll get through this okay, it wasn't your fault." he rocked her back and forth gently, clinging to her as much as she clung to him.

It must have been fifteen or twenty minutes later when she'd finally drifted off to sleep. Tony watched her sleep against his chest and he sighed, "Why didn't you tell me, Pep," he murmured as he pressed a kiss against her forehead. She hadn't deserved to go through this all alone. Btu he'd make sure she never felt alone again.

They'd lost their child, but there was still so much to look forward to, he still planned to propose, albeit a little later now. There'd be a wedding and possibly more children in the future. But there'd always be the one they would miss. He'd make sure to do right by the child. Give it a proper burial if possible.

The doctor stepped in and Tony met his gaze, "When can I take her home?"

"As long as she remains in bed for at least a couple days, yes."

"Thank you," he replied quietly.

The doctor nodded, "I don't suppose you're going to let me check you over and make sure you're still healing and safe."

"Probably not, no."

The doctor nodded, "Fair enough, please let your friend Dr. Banner know if you're experiencing anything odd."

Tony didn't reply, he would go find his team, round them up and then get Pepper home. He was about to exit when Natasha stepped in, smiling at him, "We've set everything up to get a flight home, Clint's flying, you ready?"

"I don't even want to know how you do that."

"Does it matter?"

Tony shook his head, "No, now if you could just fix my relationships."

Natasha gave him a rare smile, "You're on your own, Tony. Bring Pepper, and we'll head home."

"Tasha," Tony surprised her with the nickname only Clint usually called her. "Thanks, for everything."

"Just don't tell anyone, otherwise I'll have to kill you."

o0o

The ride back to the mansion had been painfully quiet, Pepper's scrubs a tragic reminder of what had occurred several hours earlier. She sat next to Stark, eyes closed, occasionally a tear falling against her top. He held her tight, making sure she knew she was loved. They were the first off the ship and into the home, with some help from a couple of his old sleeping pills, Pepper drifted off to sleep.

Tony lay down beside her and looked at her for a long moment; he smiled sadly as he tried to imagine her sitting on the couch painting their daughter's toenails, or him teaching his some about some cool piece of technology. No matter how many children they had, they all had her hair and his eyes. He ached to fix this, but he knew he couldn't, nothing would bring back their baby and it hurt. He felt the pain well up and as his breathing became labored he felt his cheeks grow warm and the tears start to fall. Pillow pressed to his face, Tony cried, unseen by the world he cried for their lost baby, their beautiful creation.

"Mommy?" he whispered as he peaked around the corner of his bedroom. She sat on the bed crying softly into her hands. Unsure why she wasn't responding, he stepped away from the door and moved downstairs.

He looked through his father's lab windows, studying his father who appeared to be moving and back and forth. Confused, Tony carefully slid in undetected by his father. "Stupid sonofabitch!" the older Stark screamed as he threw the tumbler across the room, causing it to shatter against the wall.

Tony jumped, gasping slightly, instantly giving away his presence. Howard whirled around and glared at his child. "What are you doing in here! I thought I told you never to come in here!" He yelled, his speech slightly slurred as he moved towards his only child. "Why can't you ever listen, you stupid little brat!" he shouted.

Tony backed away slowly, "I'm sorry daddy," he reached up to grab the handle, when suddenly his father gripped his skinny arm.

"I thought I told you not to call me daddy! Only little babies call their fathers daddy. What is wrong with you, why are you such an embarrassment!" he shook Tony, causing the child to whimper more, before he finally released Tony with a shove. The child slipped, smacking his head on the ground and instantly he began to cry as the pain blossomed.

"Get out!" Howard yelled.

"Howard!" Maria shouted as she entered the room, having heard her husband yelling at someone other than her. She had to marry the mean drunk. Howard was a good man, but when drunk he was cruel and far too out spoken. "Tony, come here sweetheart," she reached out her arms to scoop him up.

"Why do you baby the little brat, Maria? He's going to grow up soft like you."

"Mommy," Tony sobbed as he continued to grip the back of his head.

"Stupid little brat."

Tony sat up with a gasp, groaning as his headache burst behind his eyes, the memory was one of his earliest, and one of his worst. He looked over to see Pepper still fast asleep. Stumbling out of the bedroom, he wandered aimlessly, unsure where his feet would take him, all he knew was five minutes later he found himself staring at his Iron man suits. Sudden rage filled his every fiber, and he grabbed the nearest item, a stood and flung it at the suits, screaming.

He tore through the lab destroying anything and everything in sight. At some point he felt glass shatter as he crashed the stool into something; he could feel his hands and arms bleeding lightly. A loud harsh sob and cry made its way out of his lips as he sank to the grown pulling at his hair, breathing heavily and sobbing.

"Dr. Banner," Jarvis called a few minutes later to Bruce upstairs.

"Yes Jarvis?" Bruce asked from where he was reading a book, Clint glanced up as well.

"Mr. Stark appears to be distressed."

Bruce and Clint stood up, "Is he in his lab."

"Yes."

The room was dark as Bruce and Clint stepped inside, "Tony?" he called. He could hear sniffles, but as he stepped further into the room he could see blue light towards a far corner, he sat behind a tool table. Huddle with his knees up to his chest. "Hi," Tony whispered back. Bruce sighed heavily as he sat down beside his best friend.

He was stuck between feeling guilty about everything that had happened and feeling sorry for his best friend. "I haven't slept without lights on for two weeks," Bruce told him quietly. "Even now, I typically leave something on, some light. It's stupid."

"I can't stop dreaming about the explosion…memories just keep hitting me, it was all my fault that we were there. And now…Pepper…" Tony his breathing became quick again as he tried to stave off more tears. Clint sat down at Tony's side and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

Bruce glanced over at his friend; they were close, their shoulders touching. "No, Tony. It was Hammer's fault, and we've taken care of him. Don't put this on yourself, that's not fair and you know it."

"I can't get it right. I've tried so hard so many times, Bruce. Sure in public I'm a jackass who's so full of himself. But it's only fair to mention that I hate myself as much as everyone else."

Bruce sighed as he reached an arm across Tony's tense shoulders, "I don't hate Tony Stark. I love him."

"Better be going somewhere with this, green man, because last I heard we didn't swing that way."

Bruce chuckled softly, "No, I'm definitely not gay. Though if I were, I'd have to say I'd probably call you first."

Tony laughed at that, "Yeah, me too big man."

Clint chuckled, "What about me?"

Tony glanced, "You can be our awkward third wheel."

Bruce sighed as he leaned his head against Tony's. "But we do love you, and I'm sorry I haven't been there. We're supposed to be friends, brothers and we haven't been doing our job. I couldn't get past my hurts and fears to see that each of us was struggling."

Tony smiled sadly as he clapped Clint on the shoulder. "Are we okay?" Tony asked.

"We've got a lot to work through," Clint replied.

Bruce nodded, "We'll make it."

Clint sighed and leaned his head back against the wall, "I'm sorry I haven't been here either, Tony."

"Do you think all guys sit in the dark and talk like girls?" Tony asked chuckling.

"They don't talk about it to anyone but their guy friends."

"Guy love," laughed Bruce.

"Guy love?" Tony was confused.

"Yeah, that Scrubs episode, the musical," Clint laughed, "It's Guy love."

"Oh jeez. There will be rumors before we even leave this room." Tony chuckled they sat in silence, each leaning against one another. "I can't stop seeing thinking about our baby."

Both men felt him shiver, "You're safe now. Tony, don't let this ruin you and Pepper either. It wasn't anyone's fault. You two will have beautiful children together one day. And at least now she doesn't have to try and fit into a dress pregnant," Clint joked.

"She would've been beautiful pregnant," Tony murmured.

Suddenly light flooded the room and Pepper stepped over to the three of them, if she wanted to comment about how silly they all looked, she didn't make a move to. She moved over and crouched down, with tears on her cheeks she reached out and cupped Tony's chin. "I love you," she whispered, "And I'm glad that at least out of this nightmare, you want children."

He laughed sadly as he leaned forward and pulled her into his lap, holding her tight and close, "I want everything and anything you have dreamt up in your pretty head."

Clint and Bruce knew when they weren't needed anymore so they stood and made their way out. "Sometimes, Tony, you need to let it out," Pepper whispered as she held her lover, but Tony didn't like crying in front of people. The only person he'd ever cried in front of was her, and now Clint and Bruce. She held him as they cried together, crying over the child that they would never get to know, love and watch grow up.