Chapter Ten
"Zarin?"
"Yes, Doctor?"
"I need your help finding something. Come here, please."
For the first time Zarin didn't instantly rush to the Doctor's side. Still standing by the saucer he glanced nervously at the others. Zarin's friends suddenly avoided eye contact with him. When the Doctor repeated his request for Zarin to assist him the other natives gathered took a step back to further isolate the ambassador. The Doctor didn't want to frighten Zarin and he was trying to remain emotionless, but the powerfully empathic creature wasn't so easily fooled.
"Zarin," the Doctor said gently "come with me into the Library."
"Yes, my Lord, right away."
Zarin slunk over to the Doctor looking like a beaten dog that still only craved its master's approval. The Doctor smiled but fear still glittered in Zarin's dark eyes. The Doctor wasn't sure what more he could do to put Zarin at ease so he just turned and made his way towards the Library. Amy had been chatting with a few of the more curious natives but as soon as the Doctor had called for Zarin they had all fallen into an uneasy silence.
"Doctor?" Amy called.
"Just stay with Rory." The Doctor replied.
Rory had stepped up to Amy and stood next to her like he was on guard. Amy knit her brow in a mixture of confusion and concern.
"Rory, what is going on?" Amy demanded.
"The Doctor just wants to talk to Zarin alone."
The Doctor could hear Amy continuing to question and argue with Rory as he reached the Library doors. Stepping inside the Doctor looked up at the massive statue of Vael. Feeling uneasy around the carving of the dead Time Lord the Doctor purposefully walked off into one of the book rooms to escape its stony gaze. He could hear Zarin's soft foot steps following a few feet behind him. When they entered the study that was lined with books the Doctor turned to face Zarin. Zarin looked like he might pass out at any moment.
"I'm sorry." Zarin whimpered.
"Why are you apologizing?"
"You are angry and frightened. It is my task to keep you happy and I am failing."
"I just want to know what is wrong with Amy."
"There..." Zarin hesitated "there is nothing wrong with her."
Suddenly losing his temper the Doctor rushed at Zarin and drove him back. With his forearm across Zarin's chest the Doctor slammed the terrified man to the wall of books with enough force to knock several of the heavy tombs to the floor. Pinned down Zarin cried out but did nothing to fight back.
"If you are going to lie to me you are going to have to do better than that!" The Doctor snarled. "What happened to Amy?!"
"My Lord, please..."
"What happened?!"
"Your Companion drowned!" Zarin wailed.
The Doctor's blood ran ice cold as he stared at Zarin in horror. Trembling violently tears streaked down Zarin's dark face as he tried to start another apology. Baring his teeth at the cringing Leviathanite the Doctor pressed Zarin harder against the books. Welding his eyes shut Zarin broke down into true tears. In no mood to show mercy the Doctor grabbed the front of Zarin's clothes and pulled him away from the bookshelf only to shove him against it once more.
"Where is Amy? The *real* Amy!"
"She is standing outside with her mate."
"You said she drowned!"
"It would be more correct to say that she is drowning," Zarin corrected quickly "but do not worry, my Lord, it is happening very slowly...she may even live a full human lifespan."
"What did you do to her?" The Doctor demanded.
"We...we placed a chronic hysteresis in her chest." Zarin admitted quietly.
The Doctor released Zarin and took a step away as he absorbed the new information. Zarin wrapped his arms over his stomach and continued to shake. The Doctor raked his hands through his hair as his initial rage degraded into fear. He paced back and forth a few paces before he turned on Zarin again.
"A time loop...you put a time loop in Amy?"
"We had to."
"Why? How did that help?"
"You are familiar with 'dry drowning'?"
"Cold water rushes to the back of the throat causing it to spasm shut, no water gets in, but no air does either."
"And the pressure caused by the vacuum in the chest cavity causes a massive imbalance in the lungs leading to swelling..."
"Quickly followed by death." The Doctor finished.
"Her lungs had not yet started to swell, but the damage to her heart was extensive, it was only a matter of minutes before her lungs filled with fluid pulled from the blood. We couldn't just let her die. We were able to initiate one good heart beat."
"And you froze that beat in time. Her heart beats in perfect rhythm because it is just the same beat over and over again in a loop."
"We saved her life."
"No," the Doctor hissed "you simply delayed her death!"
"Is that not the same thing?"
"No!" The Doctor roared. "It is *not* the same thing! You should have told me, time loops are notoriously unstable and the human body is far too delicate to handle a time loop for very long!"
"Forgive me, Time Lord, I only did what I thought was best. We know how much a Companion means to a Time Lord, we could not let you wake to find her gone."
The Doctor glared murderously at Zarin until he realized that it wasn't Zarin that he was angry with. It was his fault that Amy ended up in the deadly swirl of water. He had lost consciousness when she had needed him the most. Had he been stronger there may have been something he could have done to better save her. As it was if it hadn't been for Zarin's intervention she would have been dead long before he'd woken. The Doctor hid his face in his hands for a moment before looking up to face Zarin again. Still trembling Zarin was pressing his back into the books as though the Doctor was still forcing him against them.
"I'm sorry." The Doctor sighed in misery. "You're right, you did what you could for her. Thank you."
"I am sorry that I lied to you, I knew it would upset you to know the truth."
"Anything else I should know?"
Zarin took a breath to say something but he couldn't find the courage to speak. Unable to admit to his failings out loud any more he wandered over to the door at the back of the room. The Doctor followed him as he changed the doorway to take them back to the central tower. Zarin brought the Doctor to the drawing room that had the balcony that over looked the central square. Going over to one of the cabinets Zarin opened a drawer and pulled out a folded black velvet cloth which he offered to the Doctor. Unfolding the cloth the Doctor smiled as he discovered his sonic nestled in the soft fabric.
"So I didn't lose it." The Doctor flipped the sonic in the air and caught it. "I missed you."
The Doctor flicked the sonic open and inspected it for damage. He assumed that Zarin had taken it to keep him from scanning Amy and discovering the truth. After assuring himself that the sonic wasn't damaged he tucked it into his inner breast pocket. The familiar weight of the sonic in his pocket was surprisingly comforting.
"Thank yo..." The Doctor stopped when he realized he was alone. "Zarin?"
The Doctor turned in place to look around the whole room but Zarin was gone.
"Zarin?"
When the Doctor noticed that the red curtain that separated the room from the balcony was moving he dashed out onto open balcony. Zarin had crawled out onto the far side of the rail, facing the devastating drop he held onto the rail with his hands behind his back.
"Zarin!"
"Please, my Lord, do not watch. A new Ambassador will be here to serve you better by the morning."
"I don't want a new Ambassador, Zarin." The Doctor assured.
"I have lied to and stolen from a Time Lord...there is no recourse for me other than death."
"No, please, Zarin, this isn't going to make anything better. Come back inside."
Zarin hesitated as he looked down at the marble far below. Closing his eyes he shook his head like a stubborn child. The Doctor was about ten feet away from Zarin, he didn't move closer in fear that his approach would cause Zarin to leap. As it was Zarin loosened the grip he had on the rail as he leaned further forward.
"Zarin, no, please don't do this."
"I have to."
"You really don't." The Doctor insisted. "Use your empathy...what am I feeling right now?"
"You..." Zarin concentrated for a moment as though he didn't believe what he was sensing.
"Zarin?"
"You are terrified."
"Exactly. I'm terrified for you. I don't want this, you must feel how much I don't want you to kill yourself over me."
Zarin looked like he was starting to listen but then a new determination hardened in his dark eyes.
"You may not want this, but Lord Vael would." Zarin said firm in his convictions. "He will never return if he learns that his people are disloyal cowards."
"Zarin, Vael is dead." The Doctor admitted.
"Wha...what?"
"Vael is gone."
"His followers..."
"They can't return either, they are gone, all of the other Time Lords are gone. I'm all that's left."
Zarin looked over his shoulder and stared at the Doctor in disbelief. To prove his words the Doctor allowed the sorrow that he always worked so hard to hid to show. Zarin gasped sharply as the Doctor's pain washed over him. Tears streaming down his shocked expression Zarin slowly climbed back over the rail. The Doctor held his hand out to encourage Zarin to come further away from the rail. Staggering over Zarin collapsed into the Doctor's arm.
Unable to keep Zarin on his feet the Doctor knelt down and cradled the stricken creature as Zarin broke down into a bitter weeping. Zarin gripped down on the lapels of the Doctor's jacket and buried his face in his chest as he cried himself breathless. Hopelessly trying to console Zarin the Doctor held him closer. Zarin wailed as though he was mourning the loss of every soul that had ever crossed over.
"It's going to be okay, Zarin." The Doctor soothed. "Try to breathe."
"No, no...there is no hope."
"That's not true."
"Too broken, too much pain in your hearts," Zarin whimpered nearly incoherently "you have more pain than we could ever hope to help you heal."
"Zarin, you don't need to hea..."
"..and if we can't fix you, then you can't fix us."