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Chapter Ten: Fan Club!

Ganymede and Hatori followed Citrine into an empty classroom in the school building. The room was absolutely filled with girls, which made Hatori feel vaguely uncomfortable, like as if he had walked into a demon-summoning ritual and he was a goat. He and Ganymede stood by the door, and the room was seriously overcrowded. Many of the girls glared at them for invading their private club. It's going to be a bit harder to find a girlfriend now that half the school thinks that I'm some wacko, Hatori thought.

Citrine stood at the podium at the front of the room, about five feet from the boys. She smiled at her audience. "Welcome friends, and thank you for coming. Has anyone got new information or photographs?"

A pretty girl in the back of the classroom suddenly raised her hand.

"What's your name?" asked Citrine.

The girl came forward to the front of the room near the podium. "My name is Melody Benighted and I have just one question. I was by the fountain a few minutes ago when a tide of girls pulled me into the meeting, which I know nothing about. What is the name of this club?"

Citrine smiled at the younger girl. "The Shigure club, of course. I hope that you stay, Melody."

The SHIGURE Club.

There is a SHIGURE Club in this school.

What the heck is a SHIGURE CLUB?

No, no, no. Where these girls all brainwashed or something? Why oh why did they know of his family? Hatori suddenly could hear Aya and Gure singing their song, "Made You have a Bad Day". We steal your moments when you need them the most… (You may cry, Hatori fans. This story will be a sad one for you.)

He snapped himself out of his reverie. Surely there would be normal girls and boys here! He just hadn't met any yet; he had only tested a small sample of the population.

Melody looked confused. "Who is Shigure? Is he a surgeon I haven't heard of yet, or something?"

"No, no," said Citrine. "He's a romance author. The best one in Japan, and he's the best-looking one too." She clicked on the overhead projector, and there was Shigure, simpering on the screen.

"Ooooohhhh," sighed the girls. "He's sooooo handsome and dreamy."

"I don't see it," Melody said. "There are better-looking guys in this room than that idiotic-looking phony."

"I'm already taken," said Ganymede. Melody glanced dismissively at him.

Hatori felt uncomfortable, being the only other boy there. "Listen ladies, this man is a total jerk. No, not you him. Shigure. He's impolite to women and he's a lot uglier in real life. Can't you tell from the books he wrote that he's a male chauvinist?"

"It also sounds creepy that this man is writing romance novels. That's just weird." Hatori was starting to like Melody. Not only was she normal, but she was able to overcome peer pressure from the other girls. Plus! She didn't like Shigure.

"You should at least try it before you diss it," Citrine said reasonably. "You can borrow my copy of Kissing Snowflakes."

"Maybe when I'm done re-reading Gifted Hands," Melody shot back. "Or any other book about medicine and the human willpower. This whole Shigure club is a waste of time and energy."

"But we love him," Citrine said firmly. The other girls murmured in agreement.

Melody disagreed. "Come here, Ganymede, and tell this girl what it is to love."

Ganymede came forward and took hold of the side of the podium. He flipped to 5.3 of As You Like It, a Shakespeare play. He read Silvius's part dramatically. "It is to be all made of sighs and tears, and so I am for Citrine."

"And I for Shigure," chanted Citrine.

"And I for Shigure," chanted the girls.

"If you are so inclined," said Melody. Hatori nodded; he knew that some people behave in that manner.

Ganymede continued. "It is to be made of faith and service, and so am I for Citrine."

"And I for Shigure," chanted Citrine.

"And I for Shigure," chanted the girls.

"A nice sentiment," said Melody. Hatori agreed again.

Ganymede read on. "It is to be all made of fantasy, all made of passion, and all made of wishes, all adoration, duty, and observance, all humbleness, all patience and impatience, all purity, all trial, all obedience, and so am I for Citrine." He gasped for air. It had been a long sentence.

"And so am I for Shigure," chanted Citrine.

"And so am I for Shigure," chanted the girls.

"This makes no sense!" exclaimed Hatori and Melody at the same time. They looked at each other. Perhaps this is what love is really about.

Ganymede closed the book. "If you believe that this is what love is, then why do you hate me for loving you?" he asked Citrine.

"Because you're lame and whiney."

"But so is Shigure!"

"See what I mean?"

By the time Citrine started the program again, Hatori and Melody were already leaving the room with a sulking Ganymede in tow, totally ruining the mood.

"Have you noticed that many of the other students and teachers at this facility are acting in an abnormal manner?" asked Spock, um, I mean Hatori.

"Yes, I have. In fact, you are practically the normal person I have met today. We really should get to know each other better."

"I agree."

"So let's meet tomorrow afternoon at the fountain. Can you make five? There's a seafood place near here we can go to."

Ganymede had suspiciously disappeared. Hatori and Melody planned to meet up, and parted ways.

When Hatori passed near the playing field, he overheard the Roaches collecting its final members. Obviously Maledict had lured in some prospective musicians.

"So what's your name?" asked Maledict.

"DJ."

"Play anything?"

"Band stuff."

"Um, OK. You think you can switch to contacts?"

"I like my glasses."

"Well, we're kind of desperate, so we'll take you anyway. But you maybe you should try to get eyewear that doesn't consume your face."

"No."

"Well, so far it's just me, you, and the drummer. Why don't you talk to him?" Maledict seemed to be getting nervous around this mysterious DJ person.

"Good."

They were suddenly interrupted by Al, the geeky kid with dyed orange hair and painted-on freckles. "Why did you say no to me? I can play the harmonica!"

"Because you're obviously a nerd," Maledict answered. "Also you're really pasty! Don't you go outside at all?"

"So it's because I'm white and nerdy, isn't it?" asked Al.

"Yup."

Al trudged away after re-tying his sneakers and removing his best bowtie.

"Hey, can I join your band?" asked Tom Stone, the Resident Assistant.

"Sure," said Maledict. "Can you sing and play the guitar?"

"Can't anybody?" asked Stone(d).

"Sign right here," said Maledict. Stone(d) did so, and then he shared his homemade cigar with the boy from 4C, DJ and the drummer. That's what you do when you complete business deals.

"The Roaches are now a reality!" exclaimed Maledict.

Hatori walked on.

A short while later, Rosalind and Citrine were talking. "I saw him go into the dorm," said Rosalind.

"Good. We can plan out our next tricks," Citrine said. "And by the way, I love your acting skills. You really sounded like a lovesick shepherd or something," Citrine said.

Rosalind laughed. "I left him a nasty surprise in his backpack."

"Just don't go overboard. I know your hate him, but don't seriously maim him or something."

"And how is this your business?"

"No need to be nasty," said Citrine. "Just give us information on the kid and we'll make use of it."

Rosalind walked away, planning her status report.

I've got a lot of messages, so I'll put them in points, not paragraphs.

-We've now got another member of the hcDOOM club! Welcome, DJ!

-Also: If you want something to happen or if you have any ideas, tell me please.

-I know I'm giving away a lot of the plot twists, but I still have some tricks up my sleeve.

-Another thing to keep in mind is that even though this is supposed to be a humorous story, there are some serious elements. So don't feel compelled to laugh at everything. Or anything at all.

See ya next time!

Little Stone