Disclaimer: I don't own any of FullMetal Alchemist's ideas, characters, and themes. I do, however, own OCs, made-up characters, and my own ideas and plots.

Chapter 10

Edward suggested for me to go to town to eat something good for lunch the next day. I protested, since I did not want to leave him behind, but he insisted. And, well, I went. Reason I caved in so easily was because then, with my sin back, I was in a true predicament.

I heard Dante's voice. It was still burnt into my mind; Malice, you are just as inexperienced as I feared. Having saying that, what will happen now? Did that mean... I was discharged? Was I free of the mission, or was I deemed a traitor, and my executioner was on their way? It was a troubling thought. I selfishly wanted Edward all to myself, and yet, for what purpose? If I die, then I will lose Edward, the alternative I threw everything else away for the moment I showed him affection. I wanted to give him happiness, in return for the happiness he gave my cursed existence. If I killed him, that would just end his happiness, and if I died, his happiness would crumble to unhappiness, if he truly loved me. Well, if he found out I was a homunculus, maybe the blow would not be severe.

I didn't go eat in the end. I only walked around Central for a little while, then ended up at the clinic, venturing up to the roof. It was vacant of anyone and anything, and I felt a little relieved; even near a single person was not my definition of solitude. I approached the railing, leaned on it, and sighed.

I had been repeating myself for too long. I had to come to a decision, and soon. I was beginning to abandon the notion of killing him. Dante was wrong. Love was a wonderful thing. Or what I felt, if it was an imitation of love. If this emotion was a sign of commitment, then I would have to reveal myself to him. Tell him everything. But... that was what I was afraid of all along.

If only I can change bodies with Winry, I thought, absent-minded. Telling him that I was a homunculus was simply too hard. Not to mention, it was unnatural. Had there ever been another case, where a human married and spawned with an artificial human? I did not believe we had the capability. A dead carcass such as I could not bear children. And if I could, what kind of demons would I provide?

Wait. That was too far. I shook my head to clear it of such fantasies. We would never get married. The thing I need to be more focussed on now was the present. I needed to—

The door that I used to get up here opened, and I nearly jumped to the point I could have dipped headfirst over the railing. I turned around and saw Edward. Why was it, whenever I thought of him, he would suddenly appear? He looked as if he did not expect me up there, but he walked up regardless, with a solemn look on his face. He joined me at the railing, but did not seem intent on speaking. I waited patiently by his side until he was.

"Al... told me what was on his mind."

I lowered my head, acknowledging it. "How did he deliver it? What were his thoughts?"

"He thought that I created his soul and artificially constructed his memories for my liking."

So he did not take my advice, I thought solemnly. ...I can't blame him. Since he said this, I knew he was aware of my knowledge of Alphonse's hollow body.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I should have told you beforehand of his thoughts. I think I only made matters worse when I tried to comfort him."

"No, it's okay," Edward said, smiling at me softly. "It was my fault, too. I told him before that I wanted to tell him something I was too afraid to, and he thought that that was the big secret."

"What was it, then?" I questioned, coaxing gently. He looked at me, then glided the fingers of his left hand across my cheek.

"Well, I can't keep anything from you anymore," he said, determined. "I'll tell you everything, in time. But the thing that I was too afraid to ask him, was... whether or not he blamed me for what happened to him."

I blinked. "Why would he?" I said. "You saved him! In the accident, you could have easily turned your back on him. But you didn't."

"Al can't sleep, can't eat... he can't even feel pain, or cry, Urami," he sighed. "That's practically the humane luxuries we have, whether they're good or bad. They're some things that define us as people, too. That's why I have to get him back to normal as soon as possible..."

I placed my hand on his shoulder, caressing him and trying to comfort. My eyes strayed back to the stairway, and there I saw Al in the darkness, seeming like he was waiting. Edward then seemed aware, but he did not do anything to show it. I smiled a little.

"Well, I'm sure he'll come to realize it soon," I whispered. "Brother's quarrels are best resolved by said brothers."

He smiled softly too, and I patted his shoulder again before I left for the staircase. I approached Al, then passed him, giving him a pat as well. He silently accepted it, and approached his brother. I watched him go, and planned to go down the stairs, and was startled to see Winry there, too. She blinked at me, and I felt awkwardly lost on what to say. She was the first to breaking it, sighing to herself and scratching the back of her head.

"Those boys are such idiots."

I laughed softly at the sudden comment, and I let her come up and stand by me. We watched from afar on what Edward and Alphonse had in mind of making up... but I was surprised that they decided to beat the living hell out of each other. You proved you point well, I told Winry, and she smiled. She then began speaking to me more comfortably.

"Those boys are stubborn... have you noticed that?" I nodded. "Seeing Edward hospitalized and the arm I recently made for him in bad shape, it makes me wonder what kind of lives they lead. But they never tell me anything about it. They didn't even tell me when they decided to leave town. But then, Mr. Hughes told me a long time ago... that men express themselves through actions more than words. They'll take on pain on their own, so that people like you or me don't worry. But when the time is right, and they do tell us, we'll be there for them. Right?"

How she used 'us', 'you and me', and just plain 'we', I could not help but feel accepted... and that was a wonderful feeling. She held out her hand, and I grasped it firmly. My sin was getting weaker and weaker by the more humane experiences I take part in.

The Brothers' quarrel ended, and there, they promised to get stronger together. So it was resolved, and Al knew for a fact that he was real. Winry laughed softly.

"I guess there are some things that you have to say out loud to understand."

Seeing the scene of them before me, I smiled. I was lucky to meet all of them, I realized. They were nice people.

Lucky, but unlucky at the same time.

"Urami? You look like you've just seen a ghost... you're paler than you usually are!" Winry nudged me. I was frozen, had the most terrifying, anxious feeling. Winry and I were at another part of the clinic, waiting until Edward finished discussing important issues, most likely about Laboratory 5. We had been talking casually about things I'd forgotten now, after what had just appeared.

There was Pride.

He was walking down the hallway we were currently residing in, a content look on his face. As he passed, he turned his head and acknowledged Winry and I in a gentlemanly manner; a soft smile, uncovered eye pleasantly crinkled. But I knew, under that eye-patch, he fixed his Ultimate Eye on my form. The feeling made my skin crawl and develop goose-flesh, and I felt vulnerable. He moved on down the hallway, arms folded behind his back, my gaze following him until he was out of sight.

"I-I'm fine," I said, after realizing Winry's nudging. I gave my head a good shake, but I felt sick. "I just don't feel well all of a sudden. I have to go to the washroom."

Winry, and she accompanied to the restroom. I didn't intend her to follow, but either way, I would have felt ill anyway. Once there, I approached one of the sinks, turned on the cold tap, and splashed the chilly water over my face. My teeth chattered in response to the contact a moment, then I gave another rinse, used to the cold. After that, I rested both hands on the counter and just savoured the moment, easing the pain in my stomach. It wouldn't go away so easily... Winry suddenly came up to me and put her hand on my back. At contact, I sort of recoiled from her. Her hand was left mid-air as she considered what happened.

"Did something scare you, Urami?" she asked, brows knitted upward worriedly. I regarded her for a few moments, looking for words to say. Should I say? It would sound strange. And I already said I just felt sick. But to explain my behaviour just now, that required some truth.

"N-No," I sighed, turning to the mirror. I'd realized that I, indeed, was a tad paler than I usually was. "I'm just... not used to nor like people touching me." Except Edward, it seems, I mentally added.

"Oh..." she trailed off, dropping her hand, embarrassed. "Do you think it has something to do with your old life?"

I had not thought that much; I preoccupied my thoughts so much on Edward and every problem that surrounded him and I, that I had never considered my lost memories. Certainly, this trait might have been an attribute from who I was before, but was that really important? Knowing who I was before?

Knowing who I am now?

I realized those were two of the same here. I didn't know who I was. It never bothered me before, never even crossed my mind! Why now, of all times? Was it because I finally started thinking individually from the other homunculi, of what they expected of me? I felt less and less of a homunculus everyday. I was losing that identity, so I was in dire search of another. My own. The one I had.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts, and I looked back up at my dreary reflection. Names were just names. Malice was just Malice, and Urami was one plucked out of thin air. Just who was I?

"Maybe," I responded to prevent the silence from growing suspicious. I looked over to Winry, and nodded, feigning a soft smile on my lips. "I feel better now. Let's go back."

I just hoped Pride wasn't lurking in the hallways.

We returned to Edward's room to see them all crowded by the window, seeming a little disturbed. They insisted that a storm past by... but I heard no thunder. As a matter of fact, Brosh and Ross acted similarly... whatever. After they recovered themselves, Armstrong asked Edward why he had to rush, and the small alchemist retorted that he didn't want to stay in a place smelling of disinfectant forever. This meant he was leaving the medical clinic, but where did he intend to go, I wondered? He must of decided this sometime when I was with Winry.

"Did you get us the tickets I asked for?" he asked Armstrong, and the large official nodded, producing an envelope. In return, he asked;

"Where are you boys going off to in such a hurry, then?"

"Dublith."

Slowly, something inside me swelled, and I was sluggish to realize that it was recognition. My eyes widened gradually, and I felt like I'd collapse any second. I rested a hand on the wall to fight against the weakness. No one noticed, thankfully, except Alphonse. He focussed on me, but didn't say anything for the time being.

"Dublith? Where's that?" Winry asked, bemused.

Al paused, still looking at me, then he turned to a map they had strewn out on a side table. He pointed as she observed. "It's right around here, in the middle of the southern region."

Then Winry had a fit, though I was too taken aback to watch and listen... Dublith...

Apparently Winry really, really, wanted to go to Rush Valley, which was on the way. Edward was against the idea, since she wanted him to pay for the travel expenses, but in the end, they agreed and she skipped off happily, to call her grandmother. I was unnoticed for now, thankfully. Until the officials left, and me in the room with the brothers alone.

"Urami?" Alphonse addressed me, worried. I looked up at him, then down to nothing in particular, venturing over to Edward's bed, where I sat down. Edward himself was curious on my behaviour, I knew. He was silently observing me. Al continued. "What happened before? You didn't look too well."

Unlike with Winry, this didn't need much contemplation to think through. "Dublith," I coughed out. "Dublith... I know that place."

Silence engulfed the room, and no one had anything to say at the moment. Until Edward absorbed everything first, and started laughing. I looked at him, puzzled at what was so funny.

"Why didn't we ask that one, Al?" he chuckled, messing up his sheets to sit beside me. "Really, Urami? You remember where you lived?"

"No."

His smile faltered, but I smiled to reassure him that he wasn't on the wrong path. "I remember Dublith, but it wasn't my home... I think, I lived near it. Very close to it. In the forest... in a village. I don't know. Flashes of images... pictures... they're very confusing."

Everything I spoke was the truth. At last, I remembered at least something of who I was. It wasn't my name, but it was at least something. Edward grinned now.

"That's a start, at least!" he cheered, getting to his feet and stretching. "After we stop by Rush Valley, we're heading straight to Dublith and seeing Teacher—" He shuddered for some reason here, along with Alphonse. "—then we'll look around and see any leads to your past! Finally, we can help you, Urami."

I blinked. "I'm coming along?" I inquired, surprised. He turned to me and smiled ecstatically.

"Well, yeah! I had three tickets bought originally; for me, Al, and you. And Winry'll come for Rush Valley so that will make four in the end. You were going to come even if you didn't remember this."

"But what am I of use to you in your search for the Philosopher's Stone?"

Edward shook his head, smiling. "You're coming 'cause we want you to. I want you to. Come on; we can do it! You'll have your memories back before no time!"

His enthusiasm was amusing, and I couldn't say no to those golden eyes. I closed my own, and realized that my eyes were cloaked in moisture, which escaped from under my lids. My past was almost in grasp, now when I started to care for it. For once, I wanted to forget about the mission and all it's in-decisions. I needed to know.

The train was tomorrow. Soon I'll have it.

End of Chapter

Damnit, I'm sorry. I intended to finish this chapter three weeks ago, before I flew to Poland on holiday, but I didn't have the inspiration. And tomorrow I'm driving to California with my dad. BUT I think I can take my laptop with me to type more, because now, after three weeks, my fingers are so jittery! My inspiration's sky-rocketing! And I have a notebook full of ideas from my holiday, I think I'll be able to give you another chapter or two when I come back.

The facts of this chapter are a little messed up from that for the manga, so I apologize if you're a perfectionist. XD Just bear with me. Now I'm on the path where I can improvise more than dictate from the manga. I'm excited~~

Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter after that long absence, and remember, I appreciate every single one of your reviews :)

Love you! -heart-

Vixen