"Oh man, I'm so happy I could burst!"
"Damn it Furuichi, stop being such a perv. I don't have to break out the water bottle again do I?"
"I'm not a freaking cat!"
"You sure are acting in heat like one."
"Screw you!"
"We know where this conversation is going to end up so let's end it here."
"But you just don't understand man! You just don't understand."
Furuichi shook his head like a superior being of intellect would at a lesser being. Simply put, he was getting his smug smartass persona ready for a public show. Frankly, Oga would have decked his friend in the face by now but seeing as he was busy taking care of a certain green haired babe with the lung strength of most banshees and electric power to rival the energizer bunny, he had to give Furuichi his small moment of glory before knocking him back down.
Cradling Beel carefully while feeding the young infant, Oga directed his stare at the resident demon and just judged silently as she read from a small purple covered notebook.
"Is there something you need?" Hilda asked without looking up.
Oga didn't say anything, just continued to stare at her.
"Stop with that look or I'll cut you down you fool."
Furuichi by this point noticed the play-by-play and just smirked, "A lover's quarrel?"
Oga calmly adjusted his stare to his friend who met him eyeball for eyeball.
"You're gunna get it," Oga said with emphasis on the second word, "Mark my words, you're gunna get it."
Furuichi just chuckled before he noticed that Hilda was giving him a frosty glare.
"Before you say anything, I just want it on record that you are incapable of scaring me as much as Oga is because I don't know the full extent of what you can do unlike Oga. As such, I'm going to apologize in advance if I do anything to offend you to such an extent that you try to kill me on a daily basis."
"You never gave me an apology whenever I started trying to kill you," Oga grumbled.
"That's because you're not a hot demon chick."
Hilda slowly reached for her umbrella.
"And that's my cue to jump out this window. I'll catch you outside yeah?"
Oga just watched his friend nimbly scurry out the open window before he turned towards Hilda.
"You know he's just saying stupid things to get under your skin and see how far he can go right?"
"I was aware of that. Which is why I'm sorely tempted to feed him to Aki-ba."
"More trouble than it would be worth. Trust me, knowing Furuichi, he'll make it a big enough problem that you'll give up in frustration."
Hilda just went back to her book, calmly flipping the page.
"Well, I'm heading out soon. Also might be going somewhere far later so catch me at school first if you want to see the brat."
With that, Oga followed his friend out the window.
Hilda remained seated on the bed for a few more seconds before her eyes narrowed and she made a few gestures. Nearby, her pet demon bird screeched in response.
"Let us see what that oaf plans to do today."
=B=E=E=L
"Stop smiling like that. You'll bring down the police on us."
"Your face will bring down the police on us."
"It usually does that yes but that's not the point. Seriously, stop being so god damn giddy! Just because a bunch of girls are coming back to school does-"
"Not just any girls," Furuichi interrupted with stars in his eyes, "But the freaking Queen herself!"
Oga blinked at his friend's antics before, "Come again?"
Furuichi deflated and just shot his friend a deadpan look of 'are you stupid?' blazed across his features.
"I thought you were in the business of knowing strong people."
"...She's strong?"
"Oh definitely. I mean she can't be on the level of colossal monsters of our dads but she's still got enough to be notable!"
"You mean like how what's his face with the chain and dumbass rich guy were supposed to be notable?"
"That was different! But this! This is just right! They say she's as strong as she is beautiful and hot damn is she beautiful!"
Oga raised his fist on instinct to smack some sense into Furuichi but held off on his righteous smack of clarity due to a commotion in the school yard. The two school boys and baby took in the sight of many different girls lining up and standing to attention.
"Huh. Commands some respect. Gotta admire that."
The trio arrived a tad bit late to actually catch a glimpse of the fabled queen and not wanting to seem like an overexcited tool, Oga opted to continue at a leisure pace than to rush off and shove his way with his fists to get a good look at the leader.
Furuichi on the other hand wasn't so reserved and had taken to a street pole to try and catch an eyeful.
"Just so you know, I'm not sticking around to catch you if you fall!" Oga yelled behind him.
"Hah! Like I need your pathetic ass! Whoa that chick over there is smoking hot."
Oga just shook his head before grabbing his young charge and looking him straight in the eyes, "If you're ever going to be influenced by anything of his, I will ensure to the full extent of my power and ability to never let you be perverted like him."
"I'M KING OF THE WORLD BIT- OH FUCK!"
The resulting crash was music to Oga's ears as he entered the school proper.
=B=E=E=L
"Oh man all these girls, girls, girls!"
"I see the blunt force trauma hasn't knocked you back to normal yet."
"Shad up you! I'm basking in the warmth and presence that is known as beauty!"
"Too bad you don't actually have the balls to go up to any of them."
Furuichi just stared at his friend. Oga stared back...before looking away.
"...Sorry," Oga muttered.
"Don't worry, you forgot. I'm not going to hold that against you," Furuichi said with a nod.
"Right...so anyways! Awkward previous circumstances aside, I have to ask. We're technically not at the legal age of consent yet but I know that most of us have gone further than that...are you that super interested or just getting eye candy?"
"Nothing wrong with a feast for the eyes," Furuichi muttered as he examined a pair of skirt wearing chicks, "But I'm just looking and not touching...unless they want me to."
The wolfish grin he donned just made Oga roll his eyes, "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go relax somewhere. Come get me when you're the Furuichi I know and love."
Oga didn't get to take three steps before his friend tackled him.
"GAH! WHAT THE FU-"
"ONWARD MY NOBLE STEED! TONIGHT, WE SHALL DINE WITH THE QUEEN!"
"YOU'RE GOING TO BE DINING ON MY FIST IF YOU DON'T GET OFF OF ME! WATCH THE BRAT!"
Beel clapped his hands and cooed, riding high in the sky atop Furuichi's shoulders as the silver-haired teen got a forced piggy back ride.
"I SWEAR I'M GOING TO MAIM YOU WHEN YOU GET DOWN!"
=B=E=E=L
"Are they almost here yet?"
"I don't know but I told them the time."
"Well so long as they didn't forget. Being her caretaker when she's happy is one thing, I don't want to see sad at any point."
"Heh, spoken like a true older brother. Now if only you could be like that with your real little sister instead of a friend's."
"Fuck that, Vivi's the devil incarnate and she could take over the world if she wanted to."
"She's a one year old baby…"
"Exactly. You don't expect half the shit she does but lo and behold, she's the evil mastermind behind it all! You'll see!"
"...Have you been doing drugs?"
"No! I'm strictly alcohol!"
"Are you sure? Don't worry, I won't tell Uncle….so long as you share."
"I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING ILLICIT!"
"You sure act like it half the time."
Kenshin's right eye twitched before his hand jerked towards his hip.
"Don't even think about it," Kigatou breathed out steadily as he tapped his fingers against his palm meaningfully.
"Jerk," Kenshin grumbled.
"You're just mad because Vivi took one of your experiments from you."
"I was trying to make chicken teriyaki!"
"And instead you produced a new vicious breed of wolf that hates you but loves her. Sometimes even the greatest minds fail."
Kenshin counted to ten with his eyes shut.
On his back held gently but firmly to his back was a little baby girl dressed in a fuzzy yellow parker. A wild strand of black hair defied the basic laws of gravity as it swayed in the small breeze.
"So remind me again, how long does the little darling sleep for?"
"About half the day. Kind of a screwed up sleep schedule because she's awake and energized in the middle of the night but tired as heck during the day."
"...Hmm, noctural sleeping habits...was that before or after you got her?"
"Before."
"Aw shucks, she's getting that from her mother I just know it."
Kenshin hesitated before staring at his cousin, "You know her mom?"
Kigatou just shrugged before digging out a cigarette and tucking it behind his ear.
"I make it my business to keep an eye on all those below me. Can't be a good big bro if I can't watch the little ones now can I?"
"Dude...I don't even know who she is exactly."
"And it's going to stay that way for now because honestly, the less who know the better. It's a complicated and mucked up business that I'm sure would take much more time than either you or me are willing to use to just figure out the whole damn thing."
"Right right…"
The two continued down the bridge, heading towards the nearby school.
"So you got your welcoming gift for your bro all set up and ready to go?"
Kenshin grinned evilly, "Fool, you know me. I'm always ready."
=B=E=E=L
"No seriously, I'm going to make you suffer the worst possible fates imaginable for what you just put me through."
"Yup."
"I will take the time to find everything you hold dear, bring it before you, and crush it all."
"Yeah sure."
"And when you lay broken at my feet, begging for the sweet release of death, only then will I kick you so hard in the balls that your future generations will feel it simultaneously at point of impact."
"You're being extra nice today aren't you?"
Oga growled as he wobbled his wall through the hallways of Ishiyama. He was used to heavier weights being placed on his back and he had plenty of strength to properly carry anything but because his stalwart friend kept wiggling left and right and acting like some sort of watcher in a crow's nest on a ship, well it sucked to adjust his balance every few seconds.
It didn't help that the damned Brat was having the time of his life, doing his best to take in all the new sights his height afforded him.
"C'mon! Faster! We have until the end of today to find that beautiful leader of the Red Tails! Who knows when she'll leave for her next conquest or even comes back to school?"
"Questions that I have no interest in answering. At all. So I'm going to give you until the end of this hallway before I start bucking like a bronco."
"Fine fine. Can I at least say it one more time?"
"You've been saying so many things repeatedly for the past hour. What the hell are you talking about?"
Talking that as the go ahead, Furuichi sucked in some air before shouting, "QUEEN!~ OH QUEEN!"
Oga, being at ground zero, nearly collapsed the tower as he tried to clamp his arms as tight as possible around his ears. Beel cooed at the madness the noise caused, clapping his hands happily together.
Furuichi finished his cry for attention and took the time to examine his surroundings extra hard in case he had been heard this time. When nothing came to fruition, the silver haired teen sighed before shrugging and skipping off his friend's back. Oga recovered as quickly as he could before taking a swing, growling as he felt nothing but air and growing irritated at his friend's laughs.
"Chill out man. Don't make me use the baby shield."
"First off, screw you! Second, what just happened in the past hour has to be the most humiliating moments of my school life concerning you! Finally, only I'm allowed to use the baby shield and if I catch you infringing on my copyrights again, I'll slap you with a lawsuit! Both figuratively and physically!"
Furuichi blinked, "Is that really possible?"
"I don't know but I will damn well try!"
The two teens continued to squabble, one looking more and more ready to throw another punch while the other acted as carefree as the birds in the sky. Which in turn only infuriated his friend more.
All this this that was happening was about to come to a head and blows of epic proportions would be exchanged.
Until they turned a corner and came face to face with three distinctive looking girls.
=B=E=E=L
"Ah boo."
"What's wrong?"
"Mmh."
"Hungry? I got your favorite right here."
Shake.
"Potty?"
Shake.
"...Tired?"
Shake.
Kenshin worked his jaw as he stared at the forlorn looking baby. Such a depressing look on someone so young just grated against all the few morals that Kenshin still had that he was sorely tempted to go evil scientist and find a way to bring that dumb ass leader of his right here, right now.
Damn the fabric reality. If it meant making sure someone so young would never be sad, he would gladly tear several holes and deal with the aftermath later.
"He'll be here soon okay? So don't give him such a pouty face,"
The baby girl perched upright on his desk only shot him the most mournful look ever before sinking her face into her palms. Kenshin reared up in horror and got close, trying to see if she was really crying as the baby started to shiver and shake.
"Boo!"
"GAH!"
The teenager fell backwards in a heap, letting the giggling of the baby girl sooth the pain in his skull from colliding with the floor.
"You're an evil evil little girl. And I hope you never get down from the high shelf that awaits you at home."
Kenshin muttered less savory things to himself as he righted back up before blinking and staring at the empty space where the baby was supposed to be.
"Whee!"
"Oh god damn it!"
Kenshin frantically glanced all around before he heard the telltale giggle once more.
"Great," Kenshin said as he palmed his face, "She's on the ceiling again."
=B=E=E=L
Oga surveyed the three unfamiliar faces across the hallway. The two groups were in a standoff, no one making any move. Well no one expect Furuichi who was twisting and turning himself as he held his hands together in a rectangle and eyeballed all three of the girls as closely as he could.
Two of the girls were wearing the usual school shirt, tie, and skirts for females while the one in the middle had was wearing nothing more than a trench coat, leaving her belly exposed and showing off her bound chest. She was also wearing white cargo pants and had a necklace with a ring attached on display. The shortest girl who had black hair held a deadpan expression on her face while the redhead and trenchcoat combo was glaring at them. The one in the middle, a light shade of black or dark shade of blue hair, was giving him a look that was more like a scan for weakness.
Finally, after what seemed like forever, the apparent leader of the girls made a move.
"If you think I'm going to be an easy target like those other two, then you're severely underestimating me!"
Oga blinked rapidly, glanced left and right with just his eyes, before he slowly raised his finger and pointed at himself with the most confused face he could muster at the moment. The leader just raised her bokken and reaffirmed his pointing, directing her simple weapon at his face.
"Um...psst, Furuichi," Oga tried to whisper in the most quickest way possible, "Who the heck is she and what is she talking about?"
The silver haired teen for his part stopped his ogling and just turned towards his friend with a deadpan stare.
"Aoi Kunieda."
Blank stare.
"Leader of the Red Tails?"
Blank Stare.
"One of the Tōhōshinki?"
Stare.
"Oh for crying out loud, she's one of the leaders of the school that are considered the strongest? You know, the people you've been trying to foist the green haired brat onto?"
The proverbial lightbulb went off and Oga snapped his fingers.
"Oh now I remember!"
"Aaannd that's why I'm the tactician."
"Aah, um…"
The two directed their attention back to the aforementioned deliquent queen and noted the change of body tension and facial expression. For some unknown reason, she now looked both confused and slightly nervous.
"You're...you're Oga Tatsumi?"
"Yeah, I am," Oga scratched the back of his neck, "So...what's up?"
The leader turned her head away, muttering something to herself awkwardly. Oga just started blinking again before he nudged Furuichi for leaning forward with his eyes wide open.
"Stop being a creep."
"Never!"
"Why I oughta-"
Before the two could start bickering further, a crowd of interested students suddenly popped up and surrounded the standoff. Whispers and loud mutterings were hard as people started to talk about how things were already coming to a head between the Baby-Rearing Ogre and the Leader of the Red Tails.
Silently, Oga stood right where he was as his supposed opponent continued to avoid his gaze but hold a wooden sword to his face.
"To foist or not to foist...that is the question."
"Yeah...no. I thought you reached a level of tolerance for the brat so why are you still trying to get rid of him?"
"Because it comes with the expected bonus of removing a certain blonde haired demon bitch from my home."
=B=E=E=L
Hilda felt her eye start to twitch as she stood on an opposing rooftop where she could see the action unfold from the window. She also was close enough to hear mostly everything.
"I'm going to maim him."
=B=E=E=L
"Really? That's your primarily motivation now?"
"Well I can't think of anything else that would warrant such attention."
"Dude that has to be some of the biggest bull shi-"
The curse was cut short as the Queen moved her arm and swung to the right. Both teens followed her hand motion and stared with raised eyebrows as the window panel slowly slid apart.
"Put down the baby," The Queen stated as she poked out the window, "You won't fight seriously with him on right?"
Fight-or-flight instincts kicked in and a ferocious grin broke out on Tatsumi's face.
"Oooh boy, it's been awhile since I've seen someone do that," Oga said, "I hope that wasn't just a tease because it's cruel to get me this riled up and not finish it."
"Damn," Furuichi cried as he inspected the damage, "It's a very nice clean cut. I'm pretty sure that thing's wooden too...oh boy be on guard Oga. That thing could mean some serious pain if you're not careful."
Baby Beel meanwhile was going wild on top of his head, cooing and reaching forward with his tiny hands.
"Heh, if that's all it takes to get you excited, I should have Ichika come babysit you," Oga said as he tried to calm the baby with one hand, "But enough about that. Let's see what's on the menu right now."
The teen pounded his fist into the other, cracking his knuckles, "Oi! Come at me with your best shot! I don't like putting down the brat unless it's serious!"
For her part, the Queen became suitably pissed. Whether it was because of some hidden maternal instincts that were telling her to destroy such a callous man or because of her pride as a fighter, it didn't change the fact that currently, she was being looked down upon.
As such, a pink aura came to life around the teenage girl as she bowed her head and let her bangs cover her eyes. Oga snorted before leaning to the left, dodging the sudden but expected lunge. The girl was surprised but for her part recovered quickly and slid back.
"Che, don't go advertising your body language so freely," Oga said with a wave of his hand, "I've been attacked by plenty of crazy ass people who like sharp pointy things in my lifetime. I've learned alot by watching and knowing what to expect."
Almost as his words were oil heaped into a smoldering fire, the pink aura returned once more and the Queen slid into another stance. Oga for his part stopped acting smug and tensed up, ready for whatever was coming next.
"Ooh...looks like a special attack...hmm...judging by her stance and the gathering energy...looks like a ki release attack," Furuichi was muttering softly to himself, trying to avoid attention as he ran an analytic eye over everything he could and filing it away.
"She would possibly give Ichika or even Keitaro a run for their money…"
"Nishiki Hyakka Midare Zakura (Second Ceremony 100 Flower Storming Sakura)!"
A flurry of sakura petals blew forward as a beam of pink energy lashed out like a whip and flew at Oga. The teen, grinning like a loon, started to shift through the air, looking to all the world like a blur of air while in fact he was making goofy poses as he coiled around the attacks.
When the energy flowed out and the dust settled, the entire window portion of the hallway had been blown out. There was clear marks where the whip had touched and even the pattern of the attack on formed itself upon the walls.
All of this, Furuichi noted with some small boredom as everyone around him gaped at Oga who was now standing on the opposite side of the hall, scratching his head. The underlings of the queen were staring at him with mute shock while the gathered crowd all said at the same time.
"They're both freaking amazing."
"Holy crap you blew out the building...that wasn't very nice."
"You're one to talk!"
"Quiet you! I'm busy trying to draw comparisons between Hilda and our friend the Queen here!"
"...What comparisons?"
"Oh you know, powerful sword techniques and large destructive power...both are pretty and easy on the eyes…eh, whatever. Time to finish this!"
=B=E=E=L
Aoi Kunieda was suddenly aware that she was in a bad position. One of her strongest moves had apparently not even winded her opponent while she herself was a little short of breath. He had yet to even truly attack her and from what she had heard, that crazy boy across from her was capable of sending people flying! Her first impression of him had been a bumbling and quite random idiot but he was still somewhat sweet in a certain way. Aoi fought down any feelings, despite hearing what he said about her beauty. He also didn't seem all that scary.
Now, with his teeth bared and his whole being advancing upon her, she could see why some people called him a demon from Hell.
Aoi was numbly aware of Nene calling out for her while Chiaki was just drawing her modded guns but her attention was focused wholly on the teen who just reached her and grabbed her by the shoulders.
"This is it, he's going to kill me."
Aoi shut her eyes, not wanting to stare into the eyes of her attacker.
"So...wanna help raise this brat on my head?"
Aoi's eyes snapped wide open, staring at Oga with the most surprised look on her face.
Seconds later, her entire head had turned cherry red from blushing, steam blowing out of her ears as she processed what exactly this delinquent was asking of her.
=B=E=E=L
Furuichi covered his ears, waiting calmly as the entire surrounding area all collectively shouted.
"NANI!"
The silver haired teen put down his hands and burst out laughing.
"Dude! Seriously? Of all the things to do, you say that?"
Furuichi then clamped up immediately as he realized that he unwittingly just drew attention to himself.
He didn't have to worry for long though because all focus was immediately drawn back to the two center stage as Kunieda let loose what had to be an understandable mini breakdown of rather epic proportions.
Oga tried to keep from grinning despite himself, knowing full well what he was asking for but not explaining what to his captive audience. If it meant screwing with the entire school population about his intentions with the park, all the better because then he could possible get more potential people to throw the brat to.
That and it was just funny as hell to prank the entire population of delinquents.
"So...is that a no?"
Kunieda let out a rather girlish squeal, ranting at him once more before trying to make a quick escape.
"Ah...oi, wait!"
The girl froze, before starting to shake uncontrollably in place.
"I'm having way too much fun with this…"
The teen endured the continued rant before he was just about ready to open his mouth and clarify everything. Course by clarify, he meant tell her that he was looking for something specific and not what she was thinking of.
That was...until his wrist started beeping.
It was unnoticeable at first, the soft tone and the singing of the woman only reaching his ears.
"Where are we? What the hell is going on? The dust only has just begun, to fall~"
Oga clacked his mouth shut as his eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.
"Spin me round again and rub my eyes."
The music flowing from his wrist gained an increase in volume as Oga brought the offending watch to bear and watched as his arm lit up in a brilliant orange.
"Hide and seek~ Trains and sewing machines~"
Ignoring all surroundings, Oga starred with full horror at the calendar in display before him. The day he spent so long staring at, so much time planning and getting ready for.
It was today.
It was time.
The alarm had already sounded.
"Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that you only meant well? Well, of course you did.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's all for the best? Of course it is.
Mmm, what you say?
Mm, that it's just what we need? And you decided this.
What you say?
Mmm, what did you say?"
Tatsumi took the road less traveled and dive bombed through the one remaining glass window, shielding the baby from the shards and fall before landing somewhat gracefully and broke off into a sprint that made olympic runners look slow. Beel didn't even get a proper chance to blink or raise a cooing question at his dada before he was snuggled deeply into the teen's shirt.
Furuichi was leaning on one broken stand of a window and let out a low whistle.
"Well then...I hope he doesn't run into any trouble on his way there."
The teen turned around and suddenly realized that everyone's eyes were on him. He could see the question marks pop into existence around everyone and grimaced. He didn't like answering questions and he disliked being noticed by a bunch of thugs who would love nothing more than to make him squeal like a bitch.
Oh well try to at least. But he had a reputation and he had to uphold it or else there would be more trouble than it's worth damn it!
"Uh...NINJA VANISH!"
It wasn't exactly the most subtle of ways for him to exit the scene but that didn't stop him from throwing a smoke bomb he meant to prank Oga with onto the ground and then haul ass out through the window. He climbed quickly and effectively from the side of the building to a floor below before ducking away and sneaking to some place to hide.
"I guess I'll just lay low until he comes back...wonder what the hell was up with that Aoi chick though."
The silver haired teen chewed his lower lip as he watched the dust cloud that was his friend running full speed diminish before disappearing.
"All this time, he kept it. I didn't think he would but he did. The one remaining thing of Sachiko's mother and it's stored on his watch."
=B=E=E=L=
Far off in Kawikami City, a young little baby girl stared at the clock hanging on the wall with undivided devotion. Despite her young age, she understood many things that would have puzzled others of her age. Still, she still had an underdeveloped attention span and thus lost interest within seconds. The little girl hopped away, giggling as she dodged yet another tackle capture from her wayward caretaker.
"HOLD STILL!"
The little baby did not stay still. Utilizing some sort of untapped powers, the baby managed to dance away from Kenshin before seemingly teleporting into a nearby classroom.
Kenshin came charging in after, acting like a bull in a China shop.
"Wawa!"
Sachiko Oga met his charge head on with a battle cry of baby garble.
And such was another day of antics and chaos, courtesy of Kenshin Arisato and his young charge.