Authors note: Soooo, I'm starting to think that most of you were upset with me over the last few chapters because no one really wanted to comment on what happened. Hopefully this chapter doesn't upset you either. This one is a long one. I had a hard time deciding where to end it and if I should turn it into two shorter chapters. I hope I made the right choice with one longer one. Please leave a review, if you have anything to comment on. Good or bad, I promise I can handle it.
I hope you enjoy!
Do not own any of the Sons of Anarchy characters, just my OC.
The sunlight was streaming through his window and slowly brought him out of his sleep. Chibs woke up, squeezing his eyelids together, with a horrible head ache. For a few seconds all he could feel was his head pounding and nothing else. And then it hit him like a weight dropped onto his chest. Aubrey. He opened his eyes to see if it was real or if it had been a dream. He slowly turned his head to the side and saw a naked woman passed out beside him in bed. A mixture of guilt, regret and sadness rose up in him and he knew he was going to be sick. As quickly as his body would allow, Chibs rolled out of bed and struggled to the bathroom, making it in time to be sick in the toilet.
Aubrey was leaning up against the counter drinking a coffee when Gemma came into the kitchen. She asked Aubrey how it went with the boys and if Chibs had stopped by. Aubrey filled her in on what happened and explained how Chibs had taken off without saying goodbye. It made her worry, thinking about how they had almost kissed, and she thought that he may have had a change of heart. The thought turned her stomach. Gemma didn't seem too upset about hearing how Chibs took off.
"Do you not like him or something?" Aubrey asked, picking up on how Gemma had been treating Chibs. Gemma shook her head slowly.
"I love the guy, I just ..." she trailed off, not knowing how to end her statement.
"What?" Aubrey asked. She wanted to know why Gemma seemed to be doing her best to keep her and Chibs apart. If she had a good reason, she wanted to hear it.
"He's a really good guy, I just ... you two seem to be getting close," she paused. "And I'm not sure that's such a good idea." Gemma was hesitant about coming clean with Aubrey. She was trying to protect her but she knew that she was coming off as a controlling bitch.
"Why?" Aubrey asked with a little more force than she intended. Her heart began to pound hard. What's wrong with him? What's wrong with me?
"You're a good kid," Gemma started. "You have a great future ahead of you." She paused for a few seconds. "I just think that Chibs would complicate that future."
"What do you mean? What's wrong with Chibs? And why do you care so much if we get involved?" Aubrey bluntly asked. She could feel the warmth spread through her as she got worked up. She was upset and it gave her the courage she needed to confront Gemma. Gemma was getting defensive but tried to stay calm. She sighed loudly.
"I got involved with this lifestyle at a very young age, sweetheart. I had no choice. I fell in love and that was it for me. It's all I've ever known. But you ... you don't know what the club is really about. You're educated and compassionate and innocent ... I don't think you could handle this lifestyle. Or should have to," Gemma explained. Aubrey didn't know what to say. What the club is really about? What does that mean? she asked herself. She looked at Gemma and saw the concerned look on her face.
"Do you want me to leave?" Aubrey asked, looking away from Gemma.
"No, honey, I don't. I'm glad you're here. I just think you should be careful when it comes to Chibs," Gemma answered her, reaching for Aubrey's hand. "I don't want to see you get hurt." She gave Aubrey's hand a gentle squeeze then moved to get herself some coffee. Aubrey looked around and thought about what Gemma had just said to her. She wondered what Chibs had done that would cause Gemma to be concerned for her. She thought about Chibs and his face became clear in her mind. She smiled to herself and walked to the table thinking about what a future with him would be like, letting a sense of calm wash over her. Gemma's warning didn't seem to bother Aubrey as much as she wanted it to. She was in love with Chibs. That was it. But Aubrey couldn't quite shake an uneasy feeling that began in her stomach.
Juice brought his hand up and knocked on Chibs' door. He hadn't seen Chibs since he took off down the hall with the crow eater last night and he wanted to make sure he was okay, remembering the look on Chibs' face when he got back to the clubhouse. Something happened after Chibs left the party and he wanted to know what it was. Juice heard a groan from inside.
"Chibs open up, it's Juice," he yelled out. He heard more groaning then shuffling towards the door. The lock clicked and the door opened.
"Jesus, you look like shit," Juice exclaimed with disgust. Chibs had vomit on the corner of his mouth, his eyes were bloodshot and puffy and his hair was hanging in his face.
"Fuck off, Juicey," Chibs said, leaning against the door. He was breathing heavily and couldn't quite stand up straight. Juice looked over to the corner of Chibs' room and saw the woman from last night sleeping naked on Chibs's bed. Juice clenched his jaw shut and pushed his hands deep into his pockets. He was disappointed in Chibs.
"Meet me outside in a few minutes?" Juice asked. Chibs took his time thinking about Juice's request, then slowly nodded, swallowed, and closed the door.
Juice went outside and sat down on the picnic table. He'd seen Chibs hungover before, countless times, but there was something different about this time. Several minutes later, Chibs slowly stepped outside and awkwardly sat down at the picnic table. Juice stared at him and didn't say a word.
"What do ye want?" Chibs asked gruffly, taking out a cigarette. The sun was hurting his head and he didn't feel like talking.
"What happened last night? Thought you didn't want her company," Juice asked, trying not to sound too disappointed or judgmental.
"Changed my mind," was all Chibs gave. Juice moved down to sit next to Chibs. He shook his head and paused.
"What is it?" Juice asked quietly. He knew his brother. He knew something was bothering him that he didn't want to share. He hoped Chibs would tell him.
Chibs wanted to open up to Juice. He wanted to tell him that he was confused, for the first time in years, about a woman. He wanted to tell him that it scared the shit out of him and made him feel weak. He wanted to tell him that he left last night to check on Aubrey and ended up realizing he was in love with her. He wanted to tell him that he knew he didn't deserve her. He wanted to tell him that this morning he woke up beside a crow eater and felt guilty and ashamed, feeling like he had been unfaithful. He wanted to tell him how pathetic that made him feel. He wanted to tell him, but he didn't.
" 's nothin'," was all Chibs could say, then he walked back to the clubhouse. Juice let him go.
Aubrey had a couple of days off so she didn't see Chibs for a few days after he disappeared so quickly. On Monday morning when she got to work, she spotted him in the garage working on a bike. Aubrey practically ran over to him after parking her car. She was excited to see Chibs again but noticed the uneasy feeling return to her stomach. She shook it off.
"Hi," Aubrey said enthusiastically. She watched as Chibs continued working on the bike, ignoring her. Her eyes darted around nervously, wondering what to do. She began tangling her fingers together and bit her lower lip.
"How was the rest of your weekend?" she tried engaging him again, hoping that Chibs simply didn't hear her before. He heard he fine. Chibs was doing everything possible to not look up at her, to look into the eyes that he was sure would break his resolve.
"Was fine," he answered, with no emotion. His grip was tightening on the wrench in his hand, focusing all of his frustrations on it. Aubrey stood still, hoping that he would continue, but he didn't. Her heart sank when she realized what he was doing and she looked away from Chibs so he wouldn't see the hurt in her eyes. Aubrey turned to walk towards the office and ran into Juice.
"Ooph," she let out. He had knocked the breath out of her.
"Sorry, you okay?" Juice asked, gripping onto Aubrey's arms to steady her. She was holding her hands up to her chest and looking down, nodding. When she looked up, he could see how upset she was and his expression changed. Aubrey saw how Juice's smile faded and he furrowed his eyebrows. She nodded again and pulled herself away from him, making her way to he office. She closed the door when she stepped in.
Juice watched as Aubrey walked away and he couldn't shake the look on her face when he held her. He looked over at Chibs and knew he must have said something to upset Aubrey. He had enough. Juice was fed up with Chibs' attitude. He had been drinking more than usual over the last few days and was being an asshole. Whenever anyone tried to call him on it he'd become aggressive then take off, saying that he didn't need to put up with it. Juice was worried about his brother. He stepped over to Chibs and threw a rag at his chest.
"Hey!" Chibs yelled a little too loud and stood up, glaring at Juice. His frustration focused on Juice now instead of the wrench.
"What are you doing?" Juice asked through gritted teeth. Chibs stepped closer to him and thrust his chin closer to Juice, taking a deep breath.
"What d' ye mean?" he asked slowly.
"What the hell is your problem?" Juice asked. Then, in a blink, he saw the way that Chibs' eyes darted towards the office then back to him. In that moment, he knew. "Why are you treating her like shit then?" he asked, in disbelief.
"Leave it," Chibs snarled at Juice then walked away. Juice fought the urge to follow after him, knowing it would be pointless. He decided, instead, to go see Aubrey.
Aubrey was sitting on the couch in the office, watching Chibs stalk away from the garage to the clubhouse, looking tense. She was trying to figure out what had just happened between them, and like always, she figured that she had done something wrong. She heard a click and moved her eyes to find Juice's head peeking through the garage door. He looked worried.
"You okay?" he asked, taking a step into the office. Aubrey didn't look sad or hurt anymore. She simply looked lost. She nodded and looked down at her hands. Juice wasn't used to seeing her without a smile.
"What happened?" Juice asked then walked over and sat beside Aubrey. She slowly shook her head back and forth.
"I have no idea," she answered honestly. Juice lifted his arm and put it on the back of the couch behind her shoulder. He gave Aubrey a quick squeeze but she didn't react. They sat in silence for a moment. Juice had just found out how Chibs felt about Aubrey but he wasn't sure what had actually happened between them, if anything. He knew that these feelings were eating away at Chibs. He also felt bad for Aubrey. Aubrey interrupted his thoughts.
"I want to talk to Chibs," she found herself saying. Aubrey didn't know where her courage was coming from but in that moment she needed to talk to him.
"Not a good idea right now," Juice offered with a shake of his head, leaning towards her and removing his arm from behind Aubrey.
"I need to talk to him," she said a little louder, starting to stand up. Juice brought his hand up quickly to her shoulder, trying to push her back down gently.
"No, Aubrey. Right now's not ..." he started.
"I need to talk to him, Juice," she said forcefully, standing up despite the weight on her shoulder. "Now!"
"Okay," he reluctantly answered.
Juice accompanied Aubrey to the clubhouse. She was determined but full of nerves. They walked in Aubrey saw Opie first, sitting on a couch flipping through a magazine. He smiled hello and went back to reading. Aubrey felt stiff and awkwardly followed Juice, who kept turning back to check on her. He grabbed her hand and led her further into the clubhouse, hoping she would change her mind soon. Aubrey didn't see Chibs anywhere. She then heard his voice from somewhere deeper in the clubhouse and everything around her seemed to dissolve except for Juice in front of her and the path they took.
"Hey darlin'. Not used to seeing you in here," Piney said happily from the bar. She didn't answer or even look over at him, she just kept following Juice. Juice looked over at Piney and shook his head no. He knew what Aubrey was focused on and wanted to let Piney know that her reaction was nothing personal. Aubrey's heart was pounding and she was starting to regret making Juice bring her to Chibs. She had no idea what she was going to say or do, she just felt like she had to do something.
Juice led them down the hall towards the dorm rooms. He slowed and let go of Aubrey's hand when he got closer to Chibs' open door. He looked back at her and pointed out Chibs' door. Aubrey took a deep breath and felt panic rising in her. This was a bad idea, she told herself. Juice stepped closer to her and grabbed both of her elbows. He gave her an awkward smile and his eyes were full of worry. He walked away leaving Aubrey to stand there, unable to move.
She stood a few steps away from Chibs' room, working up the courage to approach it. She finally took the few steps that brought her to his door and hesitated. With her heart racing, Aubrey slowly peaked into the room and saw Chibs pacing around, picking things up from the floor. He had taken off his work shirt and was left wearing a sleeveless undershirt. She was afraid that Chibs could hear her heart pounding. For the first time, Aubrey got a good look at his bare arms and chest and the ink that covered them. Her mouth became dry. She wasn't one for tattoos but they seemed to suit Chibs, finishing off the bad boy look that he wore so well. He was muscular but more toned than bulky, which she admired. Aubrey also took notice of how tense his muscles and movements seemed to be. Something is really upsetting him, she told herself and felt a pain in her chest. She needed to talk to him.
Aubrey swallowed and knocked gently on the door. Chibs stopped and turned quickly to the door and froze. He saw uncertainty on Aubrey's face and the pain in her eyes. Aubrey saw the shock on Chibs' face and something else. Pain, she finally realized. They stared at each other for what seemed like forever until Aubrey finally spoke.
"Can we talk?" she asked timidly. He looked away, finally able to move again and threw a shirt into the hamper.
"No, I'm busy," he answered coldly. Aubrey didn't say anything right away. She felt like she had been hit in the chest. Then, before she could stop yourself she heard her voice.
"Please?" she whispered. Chibs felt his heart rattle in his chest and was glad to be looking away from Aubrey because he knew the expression on her face would shatter him. He closed his eyes tightly and took a few breaths, fighting with himself. Aubrey watched Chibs silently standing there and she held her breath.
He turned around and raised his arm gesturing for her to come in, then continued cleaning. Aubrey exhaled heavily and walked into the room, still not sure of what she was going to say. She stood, just barely inside the room, biting her lip, waiting for Chibs to look at her. He didn't.
"Look at me?" she found herself asking in a small voice. Chibs stopped and leaned his head back with a sigh. He then looked at Aubrey, trying to keep his face blank. He saw the hurt again and he held his breath for a second. Aubrey continued.
"What..." she couldn't figure out what to say after that. She stood still and looked at Chibs' blank expression. It was making her angry. How is he so calm right now? Why is he being so cold? A surge of anger spread through her again and she spoke. "We almost kissed," she said, louder than she wanted to, but it felt good. Her breathing was coming faster now and a sense of confidence came over her. She didn't know where it came from but she decided to let it take over. Chibs saw the hurt leave her eyes and the passion that took over them. He tried to remain calm but seeing that passion began to stir something in him.
"So?" Chibs finally answered, with pursed lips. His hands were clenched into fists and he was doing everything in his power to stop himself from moving from that spot.
Aubrey sensed it and walked closer to him. Chibs clenched his teeth and slightly shook his head.
"Don't," he said. Aubrey halted, then came closer. He looked away and repeated, "Don't." This time, with more aggression. She wasn't listening. Aubrey came closer and stood directly in front of Chibs. She looked at him and waited for him to look back at her, but he wouldn't. She raised her right hand and brought it to his left cheek, trying gently to turn his face to her. His breath caught and he reached up and grabbed her firmly by the wrist, startling Aubrey. Chibs turned to Aubrey and saw the look of panic on her face. Aubrey couldn't read anger in Chibs' eyes but she was scared. Still holding onto her wrist he started walking, leading Aubrey quickly towards the door. She fumbled, being led backwards, all the while staring at Chibs' chest. As they were about to reach the doorway, Aubrey couldn't take anymore. She didn't know why Chibs was acting this way.
"Chibs," she said, breathing through short shallow breaths. It broke something in him. He turned her slightly to the side so she backed up into the door and let go of her wrist. He pressed his body against hers and snaked his hands through her hair, cradling her head. Aubrey brought her hands up to the sides of his waist to steady herself, then pulled him closer. Taking a few panting breaths he leaned in and forcefully brought his lips to hers. She closed her eyes, letting the feeling of his lips pressed against hers and his warm body pinning her to the door wash over her. She felt lightheaded. Chibs couldn't believe how amazing her soft lips felt against his and how she was pulling him closer to her, pleading for more. He needed more of her. Chibs softened the kiss and parted his lips. Aubrey felt this and parted hers as well. He took hold of her bottom lip with his and gently sucked on it, deepening their kiss and making Aubrey faintly moan. She felt shivers through her body as their tongues began to move together and his body pressed harder against hers. Aubrey desperately pulled him closer to her and Chibs felt a growing tightness in his jeans. Then, before he could let it go any further, he pulled back and walked away from Aubrey. She had difficulty standing and her eyes fluttered open. She didn't understand why Chibs had just pulled away from. Trying to regain his breath and his senses, Chibs told Aubrey to get out. She couldn't breath, still feeling so overwhelmed by what had just happened.
"What?" she finally said, panting. Chibs turned and quickly walked back to her, eyes filled with lust. Aubrey gave a small smile as he approached her, hoping that he was coming to continue their kiss. Instead, Chibs placed a hand high on Aubrey's chest and led her into the hallway then swung the door closed in her face.
My goodness, I didn't think it would be so difficult and awkward to describe a kiss. Sheesh, who knew?