A/n Sorry for the long wait, I'm trying to work on that. Okay, so the song I used in here was, 'Pop Goes my Heart' from the movie Music and Lyrics. I saw it the other day and thought this song fit perfectly in this story. So R/R and enjoy!
I never thought that I could be so satisfied
Every time that I look in your angel eyes
A shock inside me that words just can't describe
And there's no explaining
You remember how I made that deal that I'd never let anyone get close to me? I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I can't believe that I actually fell for her so easily. I mean my mind told me no, no…and no! There were times when I actually argued in my head whether or not to be with Marissa….
Me and Marissa have been going out for three and a half months now…a pretty long time if you ask me. Kyle's going to her friend Summer's house (the lady that caught us making out...), and we're going to stay in and make dinner ourselves…..something that we never do. We'll have the whole house to ourselves to do whatever we want to do….if you know what I mean.
Don't get me wrong, our life without it is just fine and dandy and all….but I want more you know. I'm a guy after all, and of course, I'm a guy in love. It's not just desire that I have deep inside of me, it's love and passion…..there's a difference. The only problem is, I don't know how Marissa feels about us being…together…that way. We've never really talked about moving to the next level in our relationship. We've just had a normal life. I've been working at my new job, I graduated college, and she's still taking online classes. We've still gone to the park and stuff with Kyle…doing stuff families generally do. Except, we just keep it at that. Maybe a make out session here or there, nothing more though.
Then again, we've never really had the chance either. Kyle's always around, or I'm working, or she's doing school work still. There's just tons of stuff that's going on, it's hard to find an available moment. That's why I think that tonight is the perfect night. I don't have work in the morning, she's got about a week's break off of school, Kyle's being taken care of. If you throw in a candle light dinner and dim the lights, it's perfect.
I'm at the door now, and I gulp before I knock. As I wait for her to answer the door, I try to think of my approach to everything. Maybe I'll slowly ease into it…you know, get her in the mood or something. Or maybe we could flat out just talk about it first…which would probably be awkward. As she answers, I figure the best approach would be to just get her into the mood. "Hey." She says with a big smile. She looks down at the roses I'm holding in my hands and steps aside for me to enter.
I hand her the roses and say, "These are for you." She closes the door and I lean her against it and say, "And so is this…" I lean in and capture her lips in a tender kiss. When I pull back, you can tell she liked the kiss from the look of desire in her eyes already. The night seems like it's going good so far.
Something in the way you move I can't deny
Every word from your lips is a lullaby
A twist of fate makes life worthwhile
You are gold and silver
"Hmm, what was that for?" She asks with a smile of pleasure on her face. I smile and lean in and kiss her again. "Though I have to say I like it…" She says, as I kiss her again. I don't know why I'm kissing her so much already; we still have dinner and a movie we're supposed to watch. But still, I can't help myself, it's like my lips have a mind of their own.
"Just because I can," I say with a small smile. "Now are we going to make dinner or what?" I ask, taking her hand in my own and walking towards the kitchen. It isn't exactly marble countertops and stainless steel appliances, but it's still a decent sized and decorated one. There's a painting of the beach on a wall next to the kitchen table. There's a window that shows the backyard over the sink, and refrigerator is covered in pictures that Kyle had drawn and colored, including the one with his 'family' on it. She already had the ingredients out and ready and we get to work.
"So how's your day been?" She asks as she's cooking. She doesn't even look up at me, which gives me the chance to look at her without her noticing. I look at her beautiful shoulder length, blonde hair. I take in the way she seems to know exactly what she's doing, even though I've never seen her cook before. I smile as I see her cutting vegetables and almost cutting herself. She looks back up and smiles shyly, "What are you looking at?"
I look away and blush slightly. We may have been going out for three and a half months, but there are still moments when we can get all shy and blush around each other like two high school kids. "Nothing." I say after a while, starting to work myself.
She comes over to me and puts arms around my neck. "Really, because it looked like you were staring at me…" She says, and starts to giggle slightly.
"It's all in your head Cooper." I say, kissing the tip of her nose.
"Hmm, I don't think so." She says with another giggle. "You were staring at me, just admit it."
"And why would I go and do something like that?" I ask with a smile. I love the way we tease each other, the way we can have fun around each other.
She leans in and kisses me, and it takes me by surprise. When she pulls back she says, "Because, something like that would've happened. See, I believe that honesty is important." She walks back to what she was doing with a smirk, and I put my hands on her waist.
I said I wasn't gonna lose my head
But then pop! Goes my heart
(Pop! Goes my heart)
I wasn't gonna fall in love again
But then pop! Goes my heart
(Pop! Goes my heart)
And I just can't let you go
I can't lose this feeling
"I was staring at you…." I say, kissing her neck.
"Hmm, I had to bribe you to tell though." She said, pulling away and walking off. I could see her smirking and I started whining. She turns to me and wraps her arms around my neck. "Maybe you should be honest next time…"
"Or maybe I should just do this…" I say, leaning in and kissing her. She doesn't pull back, but rather deepens the kiss by slipping her tongue into my mouth. As we keep kissing, things start to get pretty heated….so heated that we don't notice our food burning.
As the fire alarm goes off, she pulls back and says, "Shoot!" We take off the pots and pans from the stove and throw their contents in the trash. She looks at me when everything's done, and there's smoke everywhere around us. She starts giggling, and it soon comes out to be full blown laughter. I laugh with her and she says, "So how does pizza sound?"
"I think it sounds great.." I say, kissing her forehead. I take her hand in mine and lead her to the living room. "Oh, and remind me to never let you cook again."
"You were supposed to be helping." She pointed out, still recovering from all the laughing. We sat together on the couch, and she orders the pizza. When she's finished, she cuddles up next to me. She grabs one of my hands and starts to trace the lines on my palm. There's a comfortable silence that follows, and we just sit there, content in each other's presence. I've learned that the most effective and wonderful relationship is one where you don't need to talk every minute, but still talk enough to know each other well.
Soon the pizza came, but we were lazy and didn't want to get up. "I'll get it." I say after the pizza delivery person rings a second time. I go and pay for the pizza, and find Marissa in the kitchen getting prepared for us to eat. I just stand there for a second, watching her graceful moves. When she turns I break out of my trance and put the pizza down on the table. "Here's the pizza."
These precious moments we have so few
Let's go far away where there's nothing to do but wait
You show to me that my destiny's with you
And there's no explaining
She moved over to me and kissed my cheek. "Thanks for paying." She said with a small smile. Together we got our food and then went to the living room to watch a movie. "I want to watch Music and Lyrics." She stated firmly.
"But I don't." I say with a groan.
"What if I promise to make it worth your while?" She asks seductively. I gulp and she smiles. "I thought so."
We start watching the movie and ate silently. When we were finished, we paused the movie and went and put our stuff away. Then we resumed the movie and cuddled up next to each other. Marissa was in between my legs, and had her body leaning back on me. I had my hands around her, resting with her own on her lap. My chin was rested on the top of her head, and I could smell the mixture of burnt food and coconut shampoo in her hair.
The movie turned out pretty good…but not a personal favorite of mine. What I love most about watching movies and television with Marissa is that she's always commenting on something, or she's always making funny facial expressions. Whenever there's a happy ending, she says, 'Aww..' And whenever there's a sad or tragic ending, she starts to cry. Good thing in this movie there's a happy ending….I would not want the mood to be ruined by a sad movie.
Let's fly so high
Will you come with me tonight?
In your dress I confess you're the sole sunlight
The way you shine in the starry skies
"So I liked that movie." She said after a while. "I especially loved that song…'Pop Goes My Heart.'"
"It was alright." I say without showing any emotion. I really can't remember the song that well.
"It's just so…good. How he keeps saying that he wasn't going to lose his head….but then there goes his heart." She says, looking at me with a dreamy look. "It's just so romantic if you ask me."
I think about the lyrics once again, and then realize that the song explains me directly. "I think that explains our relationship…" I say in deep thought.
"What do you mean it explains our relationship?" She asks curiously.
"You know I told you about my ex girlfriend Sadie. Well after she broke my heart, I had made a deal that I wouldn't let anyone close to me again…and then I met you." I looked into her gorgeous blue eyes and give her a small, shy smile. "And pop goes my heart."
She smiles and kisses me softly. Her arms wrap around my neck, and I put my hands on her waist, pulling her closer to me on the couch. The kiss begins to grow more heated, and I move us so that I'm on top of her on the couch, and then kiss her deeper by fighting access into her mouth with my tongue. I explore every inch of her mouth with my tongue, until I'm sure I probably know her mouth as well as my own…if not better. She massages my tongue with her own, and someone moans…I'm not exactly sure if it's me or her at this point. All I know is, that we never get to kiss like this with Kyle around…and I'm going to take full advantage of it.
I move my hand up to her face and cup her cheek with my hand tenderly. She pulls me down further onto her, making our bodies press together so tightly that I'm sure we'll melt into each other. I feel the desire start to kick into me, and I know that this is the moment I've been waiting for all night. I start to kiss down her neck, making her shiver beneath me. I quickly pull back and look into her eyes which are clouded with lust and love and passion. "What's wrong?" I ask, my voice husky.
You are gold and silver
"I…think we should move this upstairs." She says after a while.
"Good idea.' I say, and get up and pick her up in my arms. She giggles and I carry her up to the bedroom. I set her on her bed, and sit down next to her. She nervously bites her lip and looks into my eyes. "We don't have to do anything…" I say in barely a whisper. I don't want to force her into something that she's not ready for. I don't want to be like Kyle's father.
"Ryan, I do…believe me, I do want to…" She says quickly. She looks away and I put my hands on both sides of her face, turning her head so she has to look at me.
"What is it then?" I ask softly.
"It's just…with Kyle's dad…"
"I'm not going to be anything like him." I promise her.
"I know…it's just…that's the only guy I've ever been close to in that way…" She admits, a tear falling down her freckled face. "And I'd understand if you didn't want to be with me after that…"
I said I wasn't gonna lose my head
But then pop! Goes my heart
(Pop! Goes my heart)
I wasn't gonna fall in love again
But then pop! Goes my heart
(Pop! Goes my heart)
And I just can't let you go
I can't lose this feeling
I shake my head and lean in and silence her with a kiss. I pull back and rest my forehead against hers. "Marissa, that doesn't matter to me….your past relationships with guys don't matter to me. All that matters to me is me and you and whether you want to be with me." I kiss the tip of her nose and wait for the words to kick in.
"So are we really going to do this?" She asks with a small, yet scared smile.
"If you're ready, then I am." I say, letting her know that I'll do anything that she wants.
She nods and leans in to kiss me. This kiss seems different than the ones before; it's filled with more passion and heat than any other kiss we've shared. I push her down onto the bed, and start kissing down her neck, and then back up and connect our lips again. She pulls my shirt over my head and throws it somewhere on the ground near us, and moves her hands up and down my toned chest, sending shivers down my whole body.
I put my hands under her shirt, and lift it up off her head too. I kiss down her body, unclasping her bra and leaving her top half of her body completely naked. Slowly our clothes star to disappear and a pile of clothes is left on the floor. I put on a condom, and then look into her lust filled eyes and ask, "Are you sure about this?"
"Yeah." She says, kissing me deeply.
A twist of fate makes life worthwhile
You are gold and silver
"I love you." I whisper into her ear, nibbling her ear lobe.
She pulls back and puts a finger on my mouth. "Shut up and love me." She says forcefully.
So I do.
I said I wasn't gonna lose my head
But then pop! Goes my heart
(Pop! Goes my heart)
I wasn't gonna fall in love again
But then pop! Goes my heart
(Pop! Goes my heart)
…It was like those cartoons you see with the angel on one shoulder and the demon on the other. The Angel was telling me to go for it, and the little demon was telling me that I'd never be happy. I was really listening to the demon too. But then I saw her again, and it was like I lost control of everything. I just wanted to spend more time with her, just wanted to know her, to kiss her. It's weird how fast my heart can be given away to someone, but I'm not saying I'm complaining….
I said I wasn't gonna lose my head
But then pop! Goes my heart
(Pop! Goes my heart)
I wasn't gonna fall in love again
But then pop! Goes my heart
(Pop! Goes my heart)
And I just can't let you go